Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

In This Moment singer Maria Brink

Though Jeremy and I already planned on doing an audio tomorrow, I’m having a hard time not talking at least a little bit about last night. Wrestling as a whole has provided very few moments the past several years which I’m sure helped lead to the dismal 2.9 rating from last week’s Raw. The only two moments I can think of in the recent past are the Nexus invasion angled which was quickly bungled and the Rock’s first promo back on Raw. The Rock has bungled since then but because of his part time (at best status) he can’t sustain anything. What happened last night was and will continue to be a moment. It made CM Punk a true star. It gave him everything I feel he was valid in complaining about. I just hope they don’t bungle it. Let’s roll on time because of that moment.

Vince’s choice in suits gets more bizarre. Punk walked out on us. That’s what they’re going with? This moment is trying to be pissed on. Big surprise, they’re going to crown a new champion. That’s why Lawler bitching about Punk leaving made no sense last night. I love Del Rio’s fake hand around the brief case. I’m excited about my boy Dolph in this tournament and that’s it. Severe consequences for Cena. We’re supposed to forever remember tonight. You can’t top last night the following evening. Cole selling Cena’s comments on Twitter made it look so story line especially invoking the Rock match for next Wrestlemania.

Miz gets to wait during the commercial break for Riley. Why not save both entrances until after the break? Cole calls the Texas Clover Leaf a Sharp Shooter and he has the balls to call out Booker on Smackdown. What a twit. Riley getting put in his proper place. Not sure why Riley won the first two PPV matches to start with.

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WWE Says Goodbye to Michael tarver

According to Prowrestling.net Michael Tarver was released by WWE over the weekend. Some other wrestlers were released as well but the only one that matters is Tarver. He was pretty bad to start NXT but came along fine when given the chance to talk. After the Cena angle where he removed members of NXT it was clear there was no room for him. Sure he showed up very once in a while backstage but it never amounted to anything. Not sure where a guy like this goes. HE was never given a chance to show his potential nor his weaknesses. Suppose you could say this is a head scratcher as he was never given a real moment for success. But he is a former WWE Superstar so someone in TNA must be jacking it to this news. -Jeremy

WrestleMania 27 Preview #2- Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

Round two is upon us and things pick up a bit. CM Punk and Randy Orton is one of those feuds that actually has some actual history behind it. Does this make for a better feud or does it make it confusing for new viewers? Just how does CM Punk command an audience with the subtlest of words? Why is it ok for a face to kick people in the head but not a heel? Guess ya gotta listen to find out

WrestleMania 27 Preview #2- Randy Orton vs CM Punk

Past WrestleMania 27 Preview Audios
Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

A pair of old friends playing catch up. Quite amusing to know she missed the married years of yours truly.

I started this blog a lot later than normal. My friend Charmaine showed up in town for a conference. I hadn’t seen her since architecture school so it was bad ass to get to talk to her for a couple of drinks. I sucked down a couple of Burning Rivers from Great Lakes Brewing Company. I did get to hear the reception “Stone Cold” Steve Austin got because someone at the bar we were at had Raw turned on. When Jeremy texted me that Dolph (KSU! KSU! KSU!) was coming to Raw, I decided I needed to do this blog. Let’s roll.

I got to buzz through the Undertaker/HHH recap and UT sauntering down to the ring. UT selling his own demise. They’re trying to sell this match but after the last 2 matches with Michaels, can you really believe any of this?  As I finish typing that, UT brings up that exact point. I said in Audio 131 that UT/HHH will be a good match. I should have said (If I didn’t) that it’s not going to come close to either of these matches with Michaels. If it does, I’ll record the piercing of my nipples and post it on the site. No Holds Barred, I’ll take the bet still. Johnny Cash rocks. Cena with a final knock out. Austin on TV. Then Orton has the upper hand on Nexus but is over taken. Evidently Punk & Nexus are going to send Orton somewhere worse than the shelf. A GTS is worse than being on the shelf? Ahh, dragging him to the ring. Paging Mr. Cena.

Orton is still being beat down, now with 4 referees around. Otunga looking for his match against Orton. Orton already making a Superman recovery. Maybe not so much. The way he got up in the corner gave me more confidence in his recovery than it should have. Cole screams Orton with a slam when Otunga did it. This is the best WWE can do on play by play, huh? Orton hits the RKO for the out of nowhere victory.  Nexus finally smart enough not to allow the Punt before they come down. Ryan gets an RKO too. Orton keeps Punk at bay. Otunga gets the punt. Wow, I am amusing stuff way too early tonight. Cole rightly calls for a halt to Orton’s punting. He should be applauding it in his new persona. Matthews should be saying that stuff. Cole gets to hype his own segment right afterward. Right from sensible guy, to over the top heel within seconds. Fucking awful. And again, this is the best the WWE thinks it can do. I don’t think I make fun of the announcers that get KSU football games this much.

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Stunt Granny Audio #130

Come dancing - it's only natural...

Come dancing with Dusty and Kevin on Stunt Granny Audio #130! Find out why the guys are ripping on Eric Nelson and just how many trips to the hardware store it’s going to take for Eric to get his balls back. In addition to that, the gang talks about what’s been going on on Smackdown lately that’s got Dusty so chipper lately. They also give a rundown on the happenings on Raw, including Sheamus getting unjustly positioned down the totem pole a bit, CM Punk being in a holding pattern, John Cena channeling Kevin Nash, and oh yeah, some talk on that Rock guy as well. There’s so much zany fun to go around, you have to listen to every last second or else you will suffer an early death! So do so now!

Stunt Granny Audio #130

Stunt Granny Big 11- Week Ending 2/12/11

1. Vince McMahon – So you are off television for nearly a year. You were mentioned as being in a coma. You wake up in a toss away bit for your wife’s election campaign. So the next logical step is to return to WWE programming. Of course you need to hype it. Somehow Vince returned with a whimper by returning and announcing he will have a big announcement next week about a guest host. Underwhelming to say the least. – Jeremy

2. CM Punk – Never has a bloody nose looked so good on television. Randy Orton breaking CM Punks nose was the best part of their blossoming program so far. Seeing blood on WWE programming is such a rare thing now that something so small can really help an angle. Even if it was accidental it definitely made the angle more personal. – Jeremy

3. Kurt Angle’s kids – You see Impact? What an idiotic angle they are playing with between The Jarrett’s and Kurt Angle. If you saw Impact then you saw the heels act perfect instead of acting like overbearing and mean parents. Then the actual father of some of the kids never gets a chance to retaliate or counter. Angle himself was notably upset taking to Twitter to rip on how it is processing so far. – Jeremy

4. Vince McMahon – The poor guy (and I definitely don’t mean monetarily poor) had to swallow his pride and tell investors that not only did WWE make less money in the fourth quarter of 2010 than the fourth quarter of 2009, but one of the few things they did right this year was fiscal “discipline.” A company that has to admit being smart with its money, has only really ever admitted that one time for a three-month block of its existence, and STILL has “Legendary” and “Knucklehead” on its books is one that would send Jim Cramer of “Mad Money” to a sealed garage with a car key and a rope. – Eric

5. WWE vs. TNASo the Green Bay Packers ended up winning the Super Bowl and it was a natural fit to have Aaron Rodgers, the MVP, receive title belts after the victory since showing off an imaginary title belt is his end zone celebration. Take a good look TNA, they were all WWE titles not your worthless pieces of trash. – Kevin

6. Immortal – After watching Impact for some reason it has come to mind that this may possibly be the worst assembled collection of wrestlers of any stable in the history of wrestling. The Dungeon of Doom at least had a concept behind them. What does Immortal have? Let’s go over this sarcastically: Matt “please look at me play a wrestler” Hardy; Loopy Hardy; Gunner and Murphy (Gay porn names and looks. How I know is my secret); Rob “man with the exploding arms” Terry; Jeff “Yup I am still around” Jarrett; Eric “Farmer Jack” Bischoff and now “Hey didn’t you used to be” Hernandez. Wow. Strikes terror in the very soul. – Jeremy

7. WrestlemaniaI want to thank all three of the cities I had an opportunity to sit down with and hear what they had to say. This morning I woke up and had a great conversation with Vince. Once I had that conversation with him, I think I was set. Next spring, Wrestlemania is bringing it’s talents to South Beach and Sun Life Stadium. –  LeBron James

8. Curt Hennig – This week marked the eighth anniversary of Hennig’s untimely death, which was acknowledged by Jim Ross on his barbecue blog and by Scott Hall on his YouTube video blog, Last Call with Scott Hall. Mr. Perfect was one of my all-time favorite wrestlers and gimmicks, and to have met him would have been an honor. I did meet his widow, Leonice, and she is a sweetheart. I also tried to steal Amy Hennig’s WLW Women’s Championship away from her, but she spit her gum in my eye and neck-snapped me to the floor. Oops! – Eric

9. Kevin Nash & Blackmail – So here’s the story as I understand it. Nash signed a contract with TNA because he was basically planning on milking money out of them until either they went out of business or he died. But then WWE came a callin’ with a contract, so he asked Dixie for a release. When she said no, he threatened to reveal some secrets he knows about TNA so she immediately released him and next thing you know he’s a surprise entrant at the Royal Rumble. I see nothing in this story that hurts my “Kevin Nash is one of the smartest men in wrestling history” theory. Meanwhile, the secret *has* to be that Dixie and Russo are fucking, right? Because they totally are and I’m not even kidding. – Dusty

10. Booker T – I waited until I could see Smackdown to post this one because my feelings were confirmed and Booker was a million times better as an announcer this week than last week. I suspect he will continue to grow into this spot and make Smackdown a must see destination for wrestling fans. Meanwhile, Matt Striker on Raw means avoid avoid avoid at all costs. – Dusty

11. Vince McMahon – I got nothing, I just wanted to be the third person to have an entry this week entitled “Vince McMahon.” Uh, go check out didthecavswinlastnight.com. It’s the new best website ever. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio #129

Get your helmet bitches.

Yes indeed we are on a roll here folks. Kevin and Jeremy bring you the latest Stunt Granny audio. This time around they discuss Monday Night Raw. Of course they take time out to goof on R-Truth and rightfully so. They also discuss the sudden use of history on WWE programming. Why the sudden change and does it benefit those involved. There is also more on the mystery vignettes featuring the return of The Undertaker, oops. And how about that Vince McMahon letdown, err, announcement? Anyway, there is a load more so buckle up and download it now.

Stunt Granny Audio #129

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