Stunt Granny Audio #255

The better half.

The better half.

If you were wondering why it is considerably more sexy in here, it is because Dusty and Kevin are back for another rousing edition of Stunt Granny Audio. Kevin starts things off by breaking things down in the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs, and Dusty retaliates by regaling us with the lowdown on the NBA playoffs. They then move on to talking about the latest episode of Monday Night Raw. Dusty is still disgusted by the overly long Gettysburg Address reading interviews that WWE seems to love. Does Paul Heyman get a pass for his work? Where does Rob Van Dam fit in to this current landscape? Is Stephanie McMahon the worst?

They then break down which promotion has the better looking women – WWE or WCW. Which TNA performer has that ass? Which ring announcer chick does Dusty prefer – Renee Young or Christy Hemme? If you have to ask, you’ll never know. Do they have any faith in Jeff Jarrett and Global Force Wrestling making a dent in TNA’s business? What kind of pizza do they prefer? Who was the better member of the Powers of Pain? All that and a whole lot more nonsense, and if you don’t listen, you’re going to get arrested for public stupidity.

Stunt Granny Audio #250

thread_hijack_in_progress_signJeremy & Kevin are here again to talk about Raw and how badly the hijacking went in Chicago. But first they start on one of many tangents that included kale shakes, Roberto Luongo being traded back to the Florida Panthers and cable providers. They focus back in on Raw. After talking about how Paul Heyman defused the situation, how was the crowd. How well did Kevin know the hijacking manifesto? Does Jeremy ever laugh out loud while reading the objectives? Aren’t some of the objectives being fulfilled by the WWE already? Do your hosts wonder if they’d want to be this young and idealist like the manifesto writer? They wonder back around to singing the praises for Paul Heyman’s speech which transitioned well into the crowd eating up Brock Lesnar. How dumb is Mark Henry? Should he have put up more of a fight? Daniel Bryan against HHH gets some attention but could Bryan still be inserted into the title picture with Randy Orton’s involvement in the main event? How unsettled is the WrestleMania card? Are the guys worried about it since they will be in attendance? Brock Lesnar gets more talk because he is in one of the confirmed matches with the Undertaker. CM Punk had a confirmed part on the WrestleMania card, so why should the fans be on his side anyway? Doesn’t that make the build up between Bryan and HHH seem stretched? But does the average fan notice? The Shield gets talked about too. Are they going to have a triple threat match at WrestleMania? How does Bray Wyatt’s spot against John Cena compare to Chris Jericho versus Fandango last year? Have you been able to follow this write up? If you did click on the tangent filled link below!

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

deviantart.com

deviantart.com

It was fantastic having a weekend in before the storm that is Thankmas. (They spell it wrong in the otherwise fantastic piece of art.) I killed a growler of Zauber’s Poltergeist, which is quite tasty. The lady & I are headed to Dayton for Thanksgiving. On Friday, it’s time to go watch the Pitt Panthers match it up with the Miami Hurricanes. We’re then moving on to Altoona for Thankmas on Saturday. We’ll be back in the ‘Bus on Sunday.

Randy Orton saunters down to the ring like normal. He takes so long that the announcers introduce matches during it. He barely cuts a promo before inviting down HHH & Stephanie. Randy Orton is not impressed with Steph’s reasoning. Orton can take care of himself. He wipes like a big boy. Randy proclaims to be the best Superstar ever. That brings out John Cena. Steph thinks John will have a potty mouth. Cena is thinking there needs to only be one title. John, this match was not eleven years in the making. HHH makes the match at TLC.

Roman Reigns gets his time in the spotlight for his four spears. Cody Rhodes & Goldust come out. Rey Mysterio wants some revenge too. Goldust gets roughed up by Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins early. Goldust made a leaping Rollins pay with a reverse atomic drop. Goldie couldn’t tag still though.  Rey looks better than ever according to JBL. No surprise it was a fun exchange with Rollins. Reigns saves Ambrose from a pin. Rey gets speared going for a 619. He gets Goldust too. Cody drop kicks Reigns outside. Ambrose with the head plant for the win. Fun stuff again. Glad Ambrose got the pin. He seems to have been lagging. Michael Strahan gets his first air time 30 minutes into the show.

The Miz is in the ring. He was explaining on the After Opie & Anthony Live that he’s fine with being a utility player in the WWE. He is saving his body doing segments like this one. Titus O’Neil comes out as Strahan. He starts answering questions. It’s supposed to be funny. The Miz makes fun of the gap in the teeth. The Miz taking shots at the Giants while his Browns absolutely sucked yesterday. Michael Strahan comes out. I zone out of the match up he makes. John Cena & Big Show are taking on Alberto Del Rio & Randy Orton. (Next Day Note: I had only really zoned out of the heels announcement. I did the backwards day after a PPV math and figured their old opponents would be in there.) The Miz challenges Strahan to a match. We get a wrestling clinic. The Miz gets the hip toss reversed. Titus does the Millions of Dollars dance then gets hip tossed. The announcers loved it. If they weren’t getting paid, they’d disagree.

Ryback is teaming with Curtis Axel against Big E Langston & Mark Henry. The WWE is making it really easy to make jokes. Xavier Woods & R Truth last week. Just saying. Ouch. Ryback looked like he dumped Big E on his shoulder. Mark Henry gets to beat up on Curtis Axel. World’s Strongest Slam. World’s Strongest Team postulates Lawler.

The Divas get a rematch of the Survivor Series match. Brie starts off against Aksana. Facebuster eliminates Aksana. Rosa Mendes doesn’t look good in white with blonde hair. Nikki pins Rosa. Super kick by Tamina on Naomi for an elimination. Cameron comes in because she’s an idiot. Samoan Drop for another elimination. Natalya matches up better with Tamina. Jojo pins Tamina after Natalya does the work. Alicia Fox eliminates Jojo. Eva Marie gets booed so naturally she’s on the face team. She pins Fox very poorly. Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter on Kaitlyn. I can’t keep up with the pins. Pathetic that there’s so little time. AJ rolls up Natalya. Facebuster by Brie eliminates AJ Lee. Summer Rae is the last one on the other team. Summer dances for us. Nikki can do the Worm. Nikki with the Torture Rack drop down for the last elimination. What a train wreck. I shouldn’t have to pay for that slop.

From 123rf.com because a hand holding a pencil needs to be watermarked.

From 123rf.com because a hand holding a pencil needs to be watermarked.

There’s so much red in the paragraph above that I feel like I was correcting work from Idiot Intern. Damien Sandow isn’t happy with the stipulation. Dolph Ziggler is his opponent again. People voting knew the matches all meant the same thing so the voting was pretty even. John Tavares is a stud for the Islanders but I wish Ziggler didn’t have to resort to that. They have a bunch of goofy shit in the ring again. Sandow recovers with a mic shot to Ziggler. Mitchell Cool references the Mean Street Posse which shows you the importance level of this match despite it’s commercial break. Sandow dumps out the cleanest garbage can ever. Sandow drops the Elbow of Disdain. Fire extinguisher to the face by Ziggler. I’ve been hit with one before, it isn’t disorienting. It does taste like real garbage though. Rob Zombie, I will get you back. Sandow belts Ziggler with a garbage can. The crowd is paying more attention to the crowd. DDT on a chair by Ziggler. Sandow broke an oar against Ziggler’s back. Full Nelson slam on a garbage can gets Sandow a three count. I skipped through the Miz’s new movie. Michael Strahan is talking to Santino Marella when Erick Rowan offers him a sheep’s mask. Interesting. Santino checks back in after Rowan leaves. I have no idea why he babbled so long. Which wasn’t really that long.

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Stunt Granny Sports Show #11

Yes indeed it is yet another Stunt Granny Sports Show. Jeremy and Eric2 are back and get right in to the big stories for a change. They discuss the Aaron Hernandez problem. How stupid is this guy? Is it worse t leave a trail of bred crumbs or a trail of chewing gum? Does the color matter? Just how does technology work? Does smashing your cell phone erase history? How happy is Tim Tebow that the spotlight is not on him for a change? Why was Tim Tebow hanging at a bar anyway? Manny Ramirez, remember him? Well he is back with the Texas Rangers on a minor league contract Problem is, um, wasn’t this guy suspended for a hundred games? How did he get around that? Does MLB understand simple arithmetic? Why is it acceptable for Ramirez to return to baseball in the states while MLB is actively pursuing removing layers they have no concrete proof of using P.E.D’s?  There is also some Dwight Howard talk. How much of a surprise is it that he chose not to return to The Lakers? Eric2 has some choice words on the matters wile Jeremy wonders just what is the difference between a zebra and a giraffe. Of course this leads in to a discussion on Giraffe fighting, hence the video. So enjoy.

Stunt Granny Sports Show #11

Stunt Granny Sports Show #10

1f6b195c-bebb-3b23-aa0e-0380f0bbe900So can you guess what Eric2 and Jeremy talk about this week? After a brief snafu with the numbering scheme the boys get down to business and make fun of the pomposity in the reactions to basebrawl between The Arizona Diamondbacks and The Los Angeles Dodgers. Was it even a brawl? Who released ten years of frustrations by strangling another persons jersey? Who has the best brawls in sports? Should they be allowed as part of the game?  Why don’t the bullpens just start fighting immediately instead of running all the way to the infield? Who are sports made for? When did sports marketing chnge to focus on families? Why the single paying customers have to put up with that? Should children even be allowed at games? The boys share their stadium experiences and explain why it was way better than it is today. Oh and how they turned out just fine with all of the things they hve seen and heard.  So give it  a listen. You have downloaded worse we are sure of it.

The Pittsburgh Penguins Dilemma

Poker chips, large sum conceptJeremy thought this topic would be more interesting than another ROH bashing. I’m not sure his level of surprise when he IMed me this article from Deadspin but he did get me riled up enough to do this article. Here’s my take on their questions.

As I noted back on March 28th, the Pittsburgh Penguins decided to go all in during the trade deadline. I hoped they wouldn’t go bust but here they are. My beloved Penguins went down in flames in four short games in the Eastern Conference Final to the unheralded Boston Bruins. They scored a measly two goals in four games. Two goals might not even allow you to win a game much less a series. I’m going to break this down into a couple of categories for what happened and what needs to be addressed.

The Games

One pivotal moment came in the Penguins first round series against the New York Islanders. Marc-Andre Fleury has been the franchise goaltender since being picked with the number one overall in 2003. He started at the NHL level for a majority of that time. The guy even backed the team that went to back to back Stanley Cup Finals in ’08 and ’09 and winning the later of the two match ups against the Detroit Red Wings. Fleury wrapped up the Stanley Cup victory with a diving save on Niklas Lidstrom. In those years, he had a save percentages of 93.3% and 90.8%.  For those that don’t watch hockey, anything below 90% is bad. Ever since that save though, he has fallen apart in the playoffs starting with a terrible showing when they played Montreal in ’10. He had a save percentage of 89.1%. The hope of playoff success was low in 2011 because Evgeni Malkin had blown his ACL and Sidney Crosby was sitting with a concussion. Fleury could have stolen a series against the lowly Tampa Bay Lighting but he posted an 89.9% and the Penguins got booted in the first round. Last year is when things went to hell in a hand basket. Both the Philadelphia Flyers and Penguins decided that playing defense was no fun so they turned the playoffs into an All Star game by potting goals at a ridiculous pace. Fleury gave up 4.33 goals a game for a 83.4% save percentage. He couldn’t even stop basic shots and when the defense is that bad you need that to happen.

He rebounded from the terrible offseason (I’m going to skip over that whole lock out thing because it isn’t relevant to this discussion) and helped to lead the Penguins to a first place finish in the Eastern Conference. The problems looked resolved with a first game shut out of the Islanders. Unfortunately, he gave up four goals in the next three consecutive games. Fleury’s stats aren’t online now but you can’t win many games giving away four goal. The Penguins did pull out one of the three games. Former starter Tomas Vokoun played Game 5 and never looked back. Vokoun had one bad game though and it was Game 2 against the Boston Bruins. The Pens went down 3-0 in the first period. Dan Bylsma, the Pen’s coach, decided to pull Vokoun and send Fluery back in for the first time in a round and a half. Pens Center Brandon Sutter came streaking down the right wing and sniped a shoot over Tuuka Rask’s shoulder to make it 3-1 with a minute left in the first. Brad Marchand, who scored a goal earlier, came down less than thirty seconds later and floats a goal over Fleury’s glove hand which broke the Pens back. All Fleury had to do was make a damn save on a wrister from about the middle of the circles and the Pens have momentum going into the second period.  The guy let’s a floater go over his glove hand? Christ on a pony.

Game 3 in Boston had a bad moment too. The Pens needed a win. Despite playing well, they played their way into overtime knotted 1-1. The referees called three penalties in the first overtime. Mike “Doc” Emrick, NBCSports play by play man, noted with each penalty how long it had been since that number of penalties had been called in a playoff overtime game. Evgeni Malkin got the third while tired and trying to flip a puck up over the defense of Boston for a streaking, fresh Sidney Crosby. It went over the glass half a rink away. The Pens finished the first OT with some penalty time to kill still in the next OT. They killed the penalty. Later in the period, Malkin steals the puck from Jaromir Jagr, an ex-Penguin, who then clearly hooks Malkin to regain the puck. The Pens didn’t have time to recover as Jagr dished it to Marchand who scored the game winner. Former referee Kelly Fraser was asked whether this call should have been a penalty and he ripped the referees for not calling the penalty. Even my room mate Baby Momma Drama, who was born and raised in Boston, had to admit upon seeing a replay that Jagr committed a penalty. None of that matter though because the referees on ice didn’t call it. The Bruins are up 3-0 and pretty much all hope is gone.

The Coach

Dan Bylsma has been under fire at various points in his tenure in Pittsburgh because he’s at the helm of a team that boasts two of the most talented players in the world, Crosby & Malkin. He won a Stanley Cup after Michel Therrien had been fired in February or March of ’09. From what I’ve read, he has had some innovative strategies that he’s brought into the NHL as far as puck retrieval, especially for defensemen, go.  Ever since then, it seems other coaches have adjusted to his strategies. Last year’s debacle against the Flyers landed Bylsma on the hot seat. Crosby wasn’t playing well against Claude Giroux so instead of getting away from that match up at home when they have the last change, he stuck with it. Malkin was getting frustrated by Sean Courturier but he stuck by that match up too. Jordan Staal, the defensive specialist amongst their elite centers, sat by twiddling his thumbs. It may have been for the “better” considering that the Pens penalty killing, number one during the regular season, which was anchored by Staal was stinking out the joint too. Did Bylsma change strategies on the PK? Nope.

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Stunt Granny Sports Show #9

Um, yes please.

Um, yes please.

OK look you know we are going to talk about Sergio Garcia and his suggestions for Tiger Woods. What’s the big deal? It is golf isn’t it racist anyway? How could things get ay worse right? Well you let the CEO of the European Tour open his stupid mouth right? This ay be the only golf break that ever occurs on Stunt Granny in any capacity so it may as well be on the latest edition of The Stunt Granny Sports Show. Yes, Eric2 and Jeremy are back and among mocking golf and its competitors they also cover some serious topics like sexual assault and how women give up on looking good once they are married. Yup that’s right . Pete Rose gets married and his wife immediately decides to change her appearance for the worse. How is that fair for old Charlie Hustle? Hasn’t he given and then suffered enough already? Shouldn’t he be treated like a king? How stupid is Jose Canseco? Is it stupidity or a greater problem of being aloof and arrogant? What person wouldn’t be terrified and hiding in the face of sexual assault allegations? Why would any rational person go against his attorneys orders and blather on o the media? What kind of dummy taunts the accuser on Twitter? What exactly is Ozzie Canseco up to right now anyway? Is this a Lifetime movie in the works? They also break down how the media victimize itself in the face of athletes hiding things and hurting them. It really is quite funny how this always happens. There is some NHL playoff talk that somehow melds in to NBA playoff talk and then back to NHL talk and a nice dose of Henry The Hockey Hound being fed up taking matters in to his own hands when it comes to bacon. Oh yeah and Miguel Cabrera. So get to downloading the show and enjoy the randomness. It is funny, at least it should be. Really not sure since no one has listened to it again. In the moment it came across as funny. We could be wrong so download it already. OK?

Stunt Granny Sports Show #8

This has nothing to do with anything other than being awesome.

This has nothing to do with anything other than being awesome.

All right everyone are you ready for another edition of Stunt Granny Sports Show? Wait, where you going? Seriously stay here and listen. Eric2 and Jeremy are back again in continue their conversation from last week o gay and lesbian athletes in professional American sports. How convenient was it that Jason Collins came out a ere three days after Stunt Granny Sports Show #7 was posted? Was this part of a coup for Stunt Granny? Nope; it was mere coincidence. Anyway, the fellas talk about Jason Collins and his decision to open up about his sexuality.How does his former fiancee feel about this?  Now that he is out will he find it harder to find a job? Does his status as an “end of the bench player” hurt his job opportunities? Will anyone remember him once the next NBA season free agency period begins? How did Metta World Peace get in on the action?  Then here is Geno Smith?Is this guy really as bad as you are led to believe ? Is this just another poor decision by The New York Jets? Why does there seem to always be the on “it”person that receives mountains of scrutiny? Is it justified? Should we be thanking Geno Smith for ridding the airwaves of Tim Tebow talk? Kobe Bryant is kind of a polarizing figure and boy has he not helped himself now. Who sends out a cease and desist letter on one of his own mothers auctions? Well when the woman is trying to sell your stuff for a profit when you won’t give her all the money she wants for a house then you have your answer. Is Kobe obligated to pay outright for his moms house just because he makes ridiculous money? Does their icy history mean this is going to turn ugly? There is also a discussion about the NCAA and their failed practices of not offering health coverage for athletes according to The Atlantic. It is a startling read and should not be ignored like it has by ESPN and most major outlets. So read that and then listen to the show because he guys have their opinions on all this and much more so give it a listen.

Stunt Granny Sports Show #7

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Yeah that’s right after a week or two off it is the return of The Stunt Granny Sports Show. Jeremy and Eric2 bring the insight about the important things in sports. What would that be you might ask? Well, how about the round one of the NFL Draft? Was the choice of E.J. Manuel really that bad? What should the Buffalo Bills have done with their harvest of picks? Did they actually need to take a quarterback at all? How exactly did the NFL Draft become the vet that it is now? Remember when it was covered primarily to make fun of Jets fan? They also talk about the NFL minor leagues ad he new College Football Playoff. What a weak name but could you do better? Is the four team playoff enough? Why not include all of the bowls instead of a select six? Why the hell is it the Chick-Fil-A Bowl instead of the much better Peach Bowl? Does it matter since it will be 2025 before it can change? They then discuss the first , possibly, openly gay football player. Does sexuality matter at all in sports? Why didn’t this story receive any mainstream coverage while he was at school? Is it more acceptable to be a gay college athlete than a professional? Does it mean as much that a kicker come out as openly gay instead of a defensive lineman? What is the bigger issue; being gay in pro sports or being gay and dropping a game winning pass?  It will all makes sense as long as you listen. So get to downloading!

Stunt Granny Sports Show #6

Higher education.

Higher education.

After another schedule snafu the boys are back talking a lot of sports in that Stunt Granny style. Eric2 and Jeremy get in to the big story of the past week and yes that mean Florida Gulf Coast. Who the hell goes to this school? How does ay higher learning occur when your dorm is off of a pool and an ocean? Who are these players? By the time this posts they will be beaten by Florida anyway so who cares really.  What is up with Chicago sports teams and their gimmicky intermission and seventh inning stretch shenanigans?  How has Mr. T maintained his celebrity status for all of these years without ay real work being done in the last thirty? Is he the smartest celebrity hockey intermission player of all time? Would you drink a milkshake mixed with ice cream and beer? Why not? It is made with craft beer? No? Still not tempted? Well The Charleston RiverDogs are betting you will be enticed. Oh minor league sports. Why is Tim McClelland calling balls and strikes from behind the mound? Has this ever been done before? There is a whole lot more on this weeks extra big edition so get to downloading already. (Full admission, we lost the links so, um, yeah you will have to find it all on your own this week.)

Stunt Granny Sports Show #6

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