@RingOfHonor Is The Worst

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I haven’t reported on Ring of Honor recently because they have done anything blatantly offensive recently. They haven’t exactly been hitting their show out of the park either. I’ll take the improvement to mediocre. After I came back from a Wrestlemania, I was giving my parents the run down of all things not wrestling and watched ROH on mute. It was a Road Rage edition so it was iPPV worthy material. The opening segment didn’t get my dander up but figured I may as well lay out my observations. The  second match was what led me to writing this article. I’ll get into those reasons below.

Chris Hero vs Roderick Strong – I’m starting to wonder how close Chris Hero was close to being called up to the main roster in the WWE. I’ve seen two or three matches and none of them have blown me away. The other match I know I saw was with Adam Cole, who I do enjoy both in the ring and on the mic. Roderick Strong usually has good matches in ROH. Hero hasn’t blown me away in either match. He doesn’t seem as athletically gifted as anyone called up recently. Hero looks like he’s going through the motions since he’s stuck back where he started. Maybe it’s dawning on him that he blew it in the WWE by not getting into shape, but I don’t think that’s the case since he still isn’t in shape for a guy who is 6′-4″ and 225. Bray Wyatt gets away with extra weight because he uses it to his benefit in the ring by showing off his agility and that spear/body block move he does. It’s hard to take advantage of being a thin tall guy without muscle tone and a baby gut. If you’re going to disobey a WWE edict, you better have something special to back it up. So far in his ROH run, Hero hasn’t shown me that something special.

The Young Bucks vs ReDRagon – Let’s start with the positives in this match. I have never been fond of The Young Bucks persona but I have enjoyed them in the ring. reDRagon is another act that I enjoy in ROH, both in the ring and on the mic despite how little time they’ve been given. Matt Jackson did have a cast on his right hand which limited him in this match but they worked around it fairly well. The main problem with this match was the ending, which ending in typical ROH style. Kyle O’Reilly was taking on Matt. Jackson whacked O’Reilly with his cast on the head while his brother Nick distracted the referee. O’Reilly kicked out which is ridiculous. Then the Young Bucks nailed their finishing move on O’Reilly, who kicked out again. O’Reilly quickly recovered from both of these devastating shots and went to lock in a triangle choke. Matt reversed it into a jack knife pin and got the win for the Tag Team Titles. So O’Reilly felt good enough to lock in his finisher but not good enough to kick out out a jack knife pin? ROH finishes are the worst.

The other problem with this match was called out during it. Forever Hooligans had not been on TV before they defeated the American Wolves last year. Kevin Kelly remind us of this event. The Young Bucks have been gone for months, if not over a year since their last TV appearance. reDRagon has defended the belts against all comers and defeated them. So like the American Wolves, reDRagon lose the titles to people who basically aren’t part of your product. I’m not a big fan of the booking. Have the Young Bucks at least win a contenders match before capturing the straps. The other comparison that could be made is that Forever Hooligans then left shortly after winning and then losing their titles to reDRagon. Wouldn’t it have been more effective to have the American Wolves beat Forever Hooligans then losing the straps to reDRagon? Not title hot potato and both of your acts look better than someone you brought in for two tapings at the most. ROH booking is the worst too.

Kevin’s Blog: #ROH Aired 6 February 2012

Both Stunt Granny and ROH are trying to find the sweet spot.

They start the episode  by reviewing the situation with Jay Lethal and Mike Bennett. Kevin Kelly & Nigel McGuinness introduced the show. Mike Bennett is going to walk away with the TV Title while Maria acts like a dumb ass again. That’s not a good thing. There is no time limit to this match. They’re big on using the time limit which isn’t a bad thing. You can imply a lot with how the match is going. Bennett begs off to start the match. You know how I say that manager’s should be used more often? I’m thinking ROH could use a couple less managers. Brutal Bob the trainer, Truth Martini, Prince Nana & his lawyer. I’m probably forgetting someone. Anyway, over used for their roster size. Match was on pace for the time of the match when the commercial hits.

Glad Nigel tells us it’s a twenty count. What a weird count. Bennett is on the offense after a Jay Lethal miss. They have a dumb slugfest with them punching each other and not moving. ROH consistently does little stuff like that to make their matches lose some polish. Bennett gets a neck breaker for a two count. Maria tries to help Bennett but it backfires and Lethal wins with a crucifix roll up.

Veda Scott is with Eddie Edwards. He pretty much gives the same promo he had last week. Kyle O’Reilly interrupts. O’Reilly wants him to put up or shut up. Edwards says he has to prepare for a match next week. Just terrible.

They go over the Kevin Steen situation for what seems like the 300th time even though I’ve only been watching ROH for the year 2012. Kevin Kelly gets to interview him. Steen has been off for a year but he evidently was allergic to the gym. At least do some cardio fatty. He doesn’t understand why he was kept away for a year. I’m loving the fact that a guy who used to be mentally unstable is now the corporate boy in Davey Richards. He tries to yell at the crowd but half of them are cheering for him. It kind of kills the mood. Jim Cornette interrupts. Jim calls him out for being fat. Steen has terrible come backs. Jim bans the pile driver in any format. Steen repeats his promo before Cornette came out. He’s a main eventer? Really?

Truth Martini and the House of Truth blame the Briscoes for losing the eight man tag match and $10,000. They’re going to shut up the Briscoes according to Roderick Strong. Michael Elgin tells them they’ve written a check they can’t cash. Or something similarly hacky. The Briscoes say they eliminated Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas so the House of Truth had an easy path. Davey Richards says that he’s going to kick Jay Lethal’s head off. Glad he admits that he only has one move. The All Night Express is bummed because of Rhett Titus’ injury. Good to see an injured guy hanging around. They’re setting their eyes on the Young Bucks before going for the tag team titles.

Veda Scott interviews the Young Bucks. Matt & Nick Jackson hit on Veda. They sort of run down their opponents. They hit on her more. I want to put my hand thru this monitor. Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas hit the ring. Kelly admits they are running short on time. Haas tells us they’re not wrestling because Steen talked too much and their mic time got cut. So they’re taking their mic time. Benjamin calls for a rematch. They’re going to take the show hostage. Kevin Steen is threatening that too. Why are you running the same angle on the same show? You’re only an hour long.

Dem Boys the Briscoes hit the ring after the commercial break. Todd Sinclair calls for the bell as they brawl.  The action moves into the ring as Cornette rants about the night from hell. I know this is going to cut off but this match is going to be too short without interference. Nigel tells Cornette he’s setting a bad example by caving to those holding ROH for hostage. Amen Nigel. And it cuts off. Whatever. -Kevin

Headlines: Matt Hardy can’t admit to sucking, Young Bucks can’t either, Del Rio (rightfully) gets no love

matt hardy

Who woulda thought, huh?

According to Prowrestling.net (and I saw this earlier on his Twitter account, so also according to me), Matt Hardy lashed out at a fan who must have been speaking the God’s honest gospel truth about how much Matt Hardy sucks as a pro wrestler and a human being (and an actor, and an entertainer, and a ghost hunter, and did I mention human being?).

Please bet against me and insult and have fun at my expense. You you’ve never done anything and never will. While I sit home with enough money to last two lifetimes.

A) Jason Powell corrected Hardy’s spelling because he originally wrote to “best” against him. The best thing that’s ever been against Hardy is the wall that props his drunk ass up at the Waffle Stop while he devours the left side of the menu. (And he can afford it, too, because he has enough money for the two lifetimes he’s very quickly burning through.) B) It’s a good thing we’re a dirt sheet, because that means he can’t lash out at us. Remember, he basically said that already.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, the Young Bucks recently [edit for who-gives-a-fuck] listen guys, you suck, your schtick sucks, and you’re only getting press because there are 10,000 sites like ours hungry for interviews with disgruntled former independent contractors. If you can make enough money on the indy circuit, do it while you can, because eventually everyone is going to see through this spot-monkey bullshit and bandana-wearing garbage and toss you out like yesterday’s garbage. Not that it’s any of my business, but just how much money do you think Marty Jannetty and Ricky Morton are pulling in for that same act, just 25 years later? Then again, they’ve both made enough money to last two lifetimes.

Speaking of indy guys, according to Prowrestling.net, Wrestling Revolution has named its first two roster members, Colt Cabana and Dr. Luther (some old Canadian). Wrestling Revolution began as a Kickstarter project created by Jeff Katz, former WCW Internet nerd turned Hollywood executive producer. Rather than force you to sit through a three-minute video of a fat bearded guy green-screened in front of a wrestling ring he’ll never step foot inside, let me give you the rundown: Katz wants to steal my No. 1 draft pick of Colt Cabana and create a wrestling “league” based on a shortened storyline schedule similar to that of cable TV seasons. Interesting concept, and I hope it takes off. Or I hope it fails at the same time I win the lottery so I can hire Colt myself.

Finally, according to an eyewitness report from WWE Monday Night Raw (posted at Prowrestling.net), WWE Champion Alberto del Rio has no crowd heat whatsoever. Two guesses as to why that could be: He’s not very good, and the writers have completely fucked up a very simple aristocratic character by making him smile like a retard at the zoo and say his own name every week. Come on, let him get down to kicking ass and shoving pesos down his opponents’ throats. Heat = instant. -Eric

The Young Bucks simply cannot cut it

Future WrestleMania main eventers.

Read this or I will have Papa Shango put a curse on you:

Goldust gave his thoughts about the Young Bucks on his twitter:

“As booker says…..better show some respect when in the locker room, there are good teachers here that know more than you young bucks….Just a reminder….if trying out for wwe….extend your hand,be polite and respectfull and do what your told. You dont have to like the golden one, but you will respect my knowledge of the business….jfyi”

Meanwhile, the only things the Young Bucks have said on their individual twitters were

Matt Jackson –

“Somewhere, somehow, there is a “tell me he didn’t just say that?” joke that needs to be told. I love you, wrestling.”

“Nothin’ but love & respect for all my peers in the business. Hope everyone makes their own decision based on their own experiences.”

Nick Jackson –

“I respect everyone in the business even if they have bad words about me. God bless them all. Thx to all the loyal fans that support us!”

Their brother, Malachi, had a lot to say about Booker T’s comments

“sounds like @BookerT5x is a little 12 year old girl on his young buck rant.”
“These vets such as @therealrvd and @BookerT5x are jealous of the young bucks cause they cant do half what bucks can do in the ring.”
“I can’t believe @MattJackson13 and @NickJacksonYB didn’t say hi to @BookerT5x ! #whatisthishighschool ?”
“@RRWWE (Ricardo Rodriguez) Booker t is mad cause they supposedly didn’t say hi to him so @BookerT5x is trashing the bucks.”
“I love when vets say stuff bout the young bucks. All they’re doing is getting them more popular :o @BookerT5x”
“I didn’t shake the hand of someone at work today. The person then tweeted bout how disrespectful I was being @BookerT5x #getoveryourego”
“@BookerT5x that’s weird you and rvd are the only ones out of hundreds of workers that don’t like the bucks. And btw they’ve already made it.

That was in response to Booker T posting on his twitter –

“Some advice to all the young guys trying to get in the business( IF U CAN’T MAKE IT IIN THE LOCKERROOM ,U WON’T MAKE IT IN THE RING) 5x”

My link

Where do I even start? Fizzling out in TNA and then not being able to get into WWE does not equate to “making it in the business.” Let me be as clear as possible. They are horrible professional wrestlers. They are horrible human beings. They wrestle in a way that shows them to not respect the business in any tangible way whatsoever. They are leeches trying to extend their 15 minutes of if-you-can-call-it-fame. The sooner they go away the better it will be for all of us that like professional wrestling and the people who can actually perform well at their trade. – Dusty

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