#ROH Is The Worst – Part XVII

Zombie Princess

indulgy.com

The first match of the night was Davey Richards vs Roderick Strong. Here are some observations: Davey Richards added highlights to his hair. I sure hope he made that call like Eva Marie did on Total Divas because if the WWE did this on purpose, they have done a poor job of starting his repackaging.

– I am really enjoying Steve Corino as the color commentator. I think he’s fairly funny and brings personality since Kevin Kelly lacks any. “That is what it means to be a wrestler in Ring of Honor. You’re taking knees and punches and kicks and everything. You use every last ounce of energy to get that last move in…It’s never say die. That’s what makes Ring of Honor the best on the planet.” That statement is the best one I’ve heard to explain the ROH style. I’m not saying I like their style of wrestling any more now though.

Roderick Strong hasn’t been present for some of the recent tapings. I found him to be in the best shape that I have seen him since watching this program. Unlike when they over did is in one of my earlier columns, they undersold his work out regiment.

– Easily the best match I have seen from both of these performers over nearly the past two years. I kept hearing they were the greatest in the world but I didn’t see the proof in the pudding. They delivered in this match. If you’re going to hammer them, you’ve got to call them the other way too.

The middle match of Mark Briscoe vs Michael Elgin had a whole lot of nothing. The main event was Jimmy Jacobs, who just earned back his spot in ROH, against Adam Cole for the ROH Title.

Steve Cornio sold Adam Cole’s new personality switch. He explained that Cole had always been that way. I thought he did a good job of establishing it as much as anything I’ve heard from Cole. Unfortunately, during this match they had to show the announce table which was situated  on the corner of the ring with the hard camera looking straight at it. It was quite easy to see that Kevin Kelly was using a hand held microphone. Steve Corino and guest commentator were sharing a microphone. If you’re so bush league that you can’t afford three head sets, you shouldn’t be shown on TV. The ring bell people were on the other side of the corner from them. I would have rather seen them than this display of bush league.

Jimmy Jacobs speared Adam Cole from the ring apron to the guard rail. Every cool spot. I really enjoyed this match too. I’ve been high on Adam Cole for a while but Jacobs held up his end of the bargain. Adam Cole did have a strange couple of spots right together. He could have pulled a heel move and been counted out but came back into the ring. It almost cost him the belt which was a nice near fall and submission attempt. The attempt is the other strange part since he hulked out after the referee lifted his arm for the third time. He’s a heel, he doesn’t get to hulk out. Jacobs kicking out of the Florida Key was a surprise.

– I enjoy Nigel McGuinness as an announcer. He can be a little dry but he does a good job. He made a stupid statement though. After the Florida Key and a little back and forth, Cole gave Jacobs a flip pile driver with momentum from the second rope. Nigel said “We’ll have to see if he got all of that.” It’s a flip pile driver, you should be toast no matter how much you got unless it was nothing. – Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst – Part XV

silenceI haven’t been off the ROH beat. I’ve been watching for the past month and a half as the tournament for the ROH World Title has unfolded. I did sneak a peak at the results of the iPPV, which was given out for free because of yet another malfunction, to see who the new ROH World Champ was because I didn’t think it’d be on TV. It was on TV though which gave me the additional two weeks of viewing, um how do I say this, pleasure. Sure, I’ll touch on the negativity in this article but for the majority of this time period, I have liked what I’ve seen.

In the last six weeks, Kevin Kelly has not completely sucked. For whatever reason, he seems more comfortable when Nigel McGuinness is his co-pilot. Wikipedia tells me that he got canned for budget reasons. I’d have to say he doesn’t do well arguing because he was tongue tied when Steve Corino or any heel is around. Of course, I spend most weeks bemoaning Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler not arguing with JBL well enough so maybe it was budget cuts. Kelly has made his fair share of dumb comments, but as an overall whole he has been good in selling the matches and describing the title tournament picture well.

I do like ROH’s style of wrestling since it is an alternative to the WWE and WWE Lite AKA TNA. I have noted my reservations about their multi-finisher set of moves numerous times. That problem hasn’t changed. I wish they’d throw in more basic offense instead of a second finisher. But the thing about all of those finishers is that they do look cool and require quite a bit of athleticism. Some people go over board with trying to make it look complicated but most if not all of the men in this tournament don’t do that.

Speaking of the wrestlers in the tournament, ROH made some smart decisions and whittled it down to the four guys at the top of their roster. Adam Cole against Tommaso Ciampa was one semi-final bout while Michael Elgin against Kevin Steen was the other one. The only people on their roster you could make a case for other than these four are Jay Lethal, who isn’t doing better since dropping the Macho Man gimmick but is still an excellent wrestler, Davey Richards, who stinks and is also in an ongoing feuds with Kyle O’Reilly & Bobby Fish and Rocky Romero & Alex Koslov, and Michael Bennett, who needs to be built up but has the potential.

ROH dedicated the last show, this past week’s, to the conclusion of the tournament which is a great idea. They showed build up for Adam Cole and Michael Elgin. ROH also gave them promo time along with soon to be dethroned champion Jay Briscoe. I’m sure they didn’t show the entire match but they showed a lot of it. The match was the bulk of the show though, another positive. The last of three positives was the fact that they decided to throw the strap on the newly heel Adam Cole. He had been trending in that direction but Cole super kicking Briscoe in the back of the head after Jay had handed over the ROH Title to Cole cemented the turn. Too bad the “smart” ROH crowd ruined the moment by starting to cheer for Cole. Maybe ROH isn’t the problem. ROH’s fans are the worst. – Kevin

News You Can Use: The Briscoes, CM Punk & Zack Ryder’s Buddy

Big_OI’m sure I will be spoiling a total of one person’s day by linking to a report on Prowrestling.net with the ROH spoilers from their most recent taping. Jay & Mark Briscoe are officially gone “indefinitely” from ROH. Mark is gone because of wounds from fighting Jay at Best In The World and Jay is gone because of an attack from S.C.U.M. I could turn this paragraph into another “ROH Is The Worst” article for letting a second champion walk off with a belt but I’m going to look at the silver lining. We’ll either get Fat Hardy or fat Kevin Steen as our new champion.

Another report says that CM Punk has filed a restraining order against his mother because she has harassed him for money. If you’ve ever seen Broke in the ESPN 30 for 30 series, you know Punk did the right thing. The guy has already handed her $100,000 according to TMZ. If you start dropping cash like pipe bombs, she’s never going to stop asking for money. After he cut her off, Punk says that she threatened to kill herself on several occasions. The restraining order wouldn’t be needed if that happens. She is also threatening to release information about Punk’s arrests from his time in high school. Isn’t that called blackmail? Punk wishes that he could just block her like some slob on Twitter who keeps telling him he wouldn’t have been champion for 434 days if it weren’t for The Shield.

In the last piece of news, Adam “The Big O” Ohriner will be on Gut Check tonight. Considering that TNA likes big, immobile men like Rob Terry, “The Big O” will be perfect for their roster. Unfortunately for him even if he wins Gut Check, he’ll get less air time on Impact Wrestling than he did on “Z True Long Island Story”. -Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst Part VII

arnold-schwarzenegger-intense

From upfitness.com

It absolutely drives me batty that Ring of Honor feels the need to push Roderick Strong as being in fantastic shape. When I punched fantastic shape into Google, that image above was the first one. Arnold may have been doing some stuff to his body to enhance it, but he was clearly doing some work to look that way. Over the course of the past year plus of watching ROH, Strong has been consistently defended by whatever announcer happened to behind the desk. Kevin Kelly leads the charge. In this episode, Nigel McGuinness touted his strength and endurance. I’ve changed to doing core and endurance training over the past five years. I have had a much easier time losing my stomach because of it. Which brings us back to Strong. Is he fat? Not even close but the guy has a bit of a gut. If he is in such fantastic shape, why does he have no muscle tone and a baby gut? It’s all to cover up for the fact that Roderick is clearly done being in shape. I Googled pictures of him and he had plenty of muscle tone in the past.

Roderick Strong is in an organization that reveres him or at least it seems that way with all of the announcers slobbering all over him. But they don’t see him suited to do anything. He’s not had his teeth sunk into a good story line in the same period of me watching. Sure, him and Michael Elgin temporarily feuded when the House of Truth broke up but they didn’t put much gusto behind it. I’d make an argument that Truth Martini’s break down got about as much attention. Which leads me to say, maybe I don’t blame Roderick for mailing it in and keeping his mediocre slot. ROH is the worst for turning their own celebrated wrestler into his own personal Ground Hog’s Day. -Kevin

Edit: After talking to my Prime Wrestling partner in crime Dan Kuester on ye olde Twitter, I realized I had forgotten an aspect of this hyping. Dan said “They aren’t going to say “Strong is kinda plain looking!” I don’t expect an announcer to undersell any of their wrestlers. The announcers do it so much though, I feel like they’re compensating for Strong’s lack of physique. If you mentioned it during one of his matches, fine. But they mention it multiple times in matches, this week included. Kevin Kelly & Nigel made comments before the commercial break then Nigel revisited the topic after the break. It’s too much. Knock it off or make Strong actually train. -Kevin

ROH Is The Worst Part III

dollar-gasp

This week’s offense is brought to you by Kevin Kelly. The truth is, I feel like I could write this column every week I watch this show. Kevin Steen came out to repent. Steve Corino came out almost immediately. They start to reveal an angle which also is a reason why I think Kelly is terrible. The past couple of months Kevin Steen has been noticeably absent from any SCUM related activities. Kelly has all but ignored this significant piece of information. I will say that at some point he did note it but not nearly enough to say the words “And what a championship reign he had!” as Kevin Steen denounced the current state of SCUM. Kevin Kelly has hated Kevin Steen for the past year and four months. How can this man take Steen at his word? Steen didn’t exactly hold SCUM back from their underhanded tactics. Shouldn’t you need a little more proof that Steen has changed his ways? If he isn’t skeptical, Kelly needs to say that he has been wrong for the past how ever long Steen has been evil. It seemed like Evil Steen had happened right before I started watching, which is the a fore mentioned time frame. You can’t flip a switch like that as the voice of a company.

Steve Corino is now angling to take a seat beside Kevin Kelly. I think he’s a good talker. I’d like to have him calling out Kevin Kelly. But the problem is that Steve Corino is still trying to wreck Ring of Honor. His platform is terrible. You can’t wreck a program that is the worst already. -Kevin

#WatchROH – Aired 12 May 2012

I know it’s the wrong border. I don’t care.

Ultramantis Black is joining Nigel McGuinness & Kevin Kelly in the announce booth for the Chikara take over of ROH. They add a pillow ad on before this so I can only hope this is another short show on a PPV night. That’s not a bad plan on their part. Why waste a squash match after a PPV that has yet to be wrestled? Ophidian (Hypnosis dude) and the Ice Creams are teaming together against The Colony. They had separate names but they didn’t show them on the screen so I don’t care. They stressed the heavy Lucha Libre influence including following their rules. Soldier Ant has camouflage on. Green Ant is next in the match. I’m confused. The action is fast. They cut to commercial at a bad time.

They come back with Ricky Reyes hitting the ring for a match against Jay Lethal. What the hell happened to the Chikara match? Kelly calls Lethal’s 20 pound weight advantage negligible. Reyes went on the attack early. The announcers do a good job of selling Reyes’ previous loss on ROH TV against Roderick Strong. Lethal turned it around with a leg lariat. A hand spring back elbow only got a two count. Kelly informs us that we’ll get Border Wars highlights next week. A Roll of the Dice by Reyes got him a two count. Nigel sells ROH as a parity league. Lethal Combination then a Lethal Injection for the win. He took care of Reyes much easier than Tomasso Ciampa taking care of Matt Taven the previous week.

Veda Scott interviewed Davey Richards about his match with Rhino. Richards is confused why Truth Martini would hire a hit man when he has something better in Michael Elgin. Richards said Rhino won’t be able to gore him with a broken ankle. Richards tells Rhino he’ll knock him back into the jungle if he does get a chance to try and gore him. Richards then gives us his best Blue Steel look.

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#WatchROH – Aired 7 May 2012

We get a replay of Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander beating the Briscoes with the help Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin. Tomasso Ciampa starts off the show with his clown car. Matt Taven is his opponent. Kevin Kelly tries to sell us on Taven’s credibility. Ciampa got a quick jump on Taven. Jay Lethal comes to ring side and sits down. Ciampa nailed his finisher then stared at Lethal. Taven reversed into a suplex on the exposed concrete. They exchange on their knees and feet back in the ring. Taven uses his legs to his advantage. Taven gives Ciampa a neck breaker after Ciampa was hung up on the top rope. Ciampa kicks out after a frog splash. Nigel McGuinness says the crowd is going nuts. They aren’t. Ciampa gave Taven a jumping knee but only got two. Ciampa kneed Taven twice in the Tree of Woe.  Ciampa nails “Project Ciampa” for a win. If a schmuck gives Ciampa this trouble, shouldn’t Lethal walk all over him?

Veda Scott interviewed TJ Perkins who will be wrestling Mike Mondo again. The Young Bucks make fun of Perkins. They still suck, not in a good way. Perkins had a paint by numbers promo. He’s not engaging. I love his in ring work. They shake hands, which is more of a rarity than not shaking. Perkins gets in a neck breaker. Mondo crawled under the ring to attack Perkins from behind. Mondo fish hooked and dragged Taven around. Kevin Kelly tells me to set my DVR to watch Rhino take on Davey Richards. It won’t be that epic. Mondo ground his elbow into Perkins head. Mondo exposed the eyeball and appeared to be ready to eat it. Perkins fought out and started to use his speed advantage. Perkins nails a missile drop kick. The Young Bucks came to ring side. They distract Perkins. Mondo tumbles to the floor. Obvious over the top rope spot. One of the Young Bucks holds a leg. Mondo gets the win. The All Night Express makes the save after Mondo & the Bucks attack PErkins after the match.

Charlie Haas gives everyone a reminder that the Briscoes started the war between themselves. Shelton Benjamin said they want their belts. The Briscoes admit to starting the feud. They’re going to whoop them in Toronto. Truth Martini runs down his houses matches. Roderick Strong told Fit Finlay he’ll be in for the biggest fight of his life. Michael Elgin tells Adam Cole that he’s the only break out star. Rhino said that he’s going to take out Eddie Edwards. Eddie says it’s all about who can take more punishment. He told Rhino he won’t stand in his way to getting the ROH Title back. Mike Bennett told Lance Storm that he’s pathetic for asking for a rematch. Bennett said that Storm’s career will come to an end at Border Wars. I just realized that Border Wars was last night. Their events seem more packed together than the WWE’s PPV. I’m not even looking up the results but Dusty’s “LOL ROH” tweet takes on a whole other context now.

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