Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

After reading the results for Ring of Honor’s iPPV, I was wondering if you could tell which of these two guys are tag team champions and which one is the ROH World Champion? I’m also wrapping up this past week’s edition of #WatchROH and they’re showing parts of the Eddie Kingston vs. Kevin Steen. Are they trying to say “Hey, if you don’t want to work out and are average at best in the ring, you too can get a shot at our title?” What a dreadful product. Even if they come here, I’m not spending money on those fools. I did spend money on the WWE this past week though. Luckily I have PSL tickets for the Columbus Bluejackets (Well if they have a season) so I got a nice little deal on the expensive seats. I’m happy to be giving these fools as little of my money as possible. Time for Raw. Let’s roll.

Paul Heyman comes out to explain the finish of last night’s main event between CM Punk and John Cena. The dog and pony show even includes Chad Patton, our ref. Gasp, the horror. They mentioned an official. You should never do that. they never mention the refs at NFL games, especially this year with replacement refs. Cena comes out to talk. Glad Cena can recycle an old shirt by slapping a new slogan and color on it. After Cena cuts a good promo, Alberto Del Rio comes out to suck the air out of the building. Now he’s the man that never lies. That isn’t going to help your character. AJ Lee makes a tag team main event with the participants from the main events last night.

Jerry Lawler gets to Tout along with having some home coming to Memphis footage later. JBL makes his big entrance to not much reaction. Jim Ross joins them too and gets a real reaction. Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara are in a tag team match again. Five seconds into their match against Epico & Primo with her hotness Rosa Mendes. I miss JR less than a minute after the break. Sin Cara nails the Swanton Bomb for the win. The WWE is doing their best to get Sin Cara into a place to foster his confidence. Darren Young & Titus O’Neil attack them from behind. O’Neil making a solid point but they need something more. We get the rematch no one wanted from Night of Champions with the tag titles back up for grabs.

Layla El is in the announce booth as Beth Phoenix waits to take on the new Diva’s Champion Eve Torres. Layla is finally smelling what Eve is cooking. Beth continues to be a jobber. JBL is off a little bit but making a nice “Go get ’em” speech.

Antonio Cesaro is down in the announce booth. I buzzed thru the Funkasaurus‘s entrance. The five different language thing is stupid. Heath Slater takes advantage of the Cesaro distraction but only gets two. Head butt then splash for the win. Cesaro didn’t make a good impression with his time as JR would say.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

I was forgetful last night.

I was so excited about the Night of Champions pay per view that I took the time to do a preview of the show. I even arranged my night so that I could purchase the pay per view. My neighbors and friends being around during the first hour or so didn’t allow me to blog about it although both Jeremy and I used Twitter (@Stuntgranny) as a vehicle for our thoughts. My biggest mistake though was something that we came up with a long time ago, when the pay per view looks strong, it’s going to be terrible. When a pay per view card looks weak, it’s going to be awesome. Money In The Bank was one of the few pay per views that didn’t fall into this category but it may have been elevated by the Punk vs. Cena match and ending. I will air my disagreements with most of the commentary I have read today during the blog. Let’s roll.

We got started with a short promo by Punk that got cut short by HHH. Trips gives us a triple threat Hell In A Cell match between Punk, Cena and Del Rio. They need to get to work on selling the pay per view in two weeks so good on them. Punk making a good point about HHH not being in on the conspiracy. Johnny Ace gets to bore us to death. HHH promises to fire someone by the end of the nice after Johnny is told about the conspiracy. JR gets an interview with Mark Henry. (NOC reaction: A lot of people bagged on HHH going over. I doubt we’ve seen the end of the feud as I’ve stated several times already. I am starting to wonder why I feel the need to give the WWE more rope with this angle and some of the other ones recently. I’m being overly optimistic with their recent track record. I’m unsure if it’s because I want to rage against the machine which at this point to me is other internet fans. I do see some change happening though like Ryder, Sheamus, Punk and hopefully more of Beth Phoenix.)

8 Man Tag match – I’d take it we’re getting this jamb all of these contestants together because no new feuds will develop in time for HIAC. Nice touch of Sheamus finishing Otunga in front of Christian. HHH talks to the referee (and uses a name) but wants the Miz & R Truth to talk to him. Del Rio complains. (NOC reaction: I can’t believe people complained about Del Rio dropping the title. He got very little reaction at the Raw I attended recently. He wasn’t exactly impressive when he just talked to HHH. As noted in my preview, which Money In The Bank winner had a long first title break? Plus, if Cena makes the WWE money and people are clicking off this rich snooze, why should he be champion?)

Del Rio takes on John Morrison. Wow, I check Twitter and Del Rio wins in no time flat. Hugh Jackman add. This sucks that I’ll be taping something during this whole Raw so I can’t flip to the game. I can’t wait to watch some Hawaii Five-O later though.

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Stunt Granny Big 11, Week Ending 9/17/2011

1. Claudio Castagnoli – All signs point to Claudio finally signing (well, re-signing, after one failed attempt) with WWE. Various reports have him heading to Florida Championship Wrestling under the name Antonio Cesaro. Other reports have me heading to Olive Garden to order the antonio cesaro with a breadstick, but whatever. Good move by all parties. – Eric
2. Hulk Hogan – Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling debuted this week on TruTV. I didn’t watch it, I don’t think the other SG guys did… I don’t think anybody did. If this even appears on the Nielsen ratings, I bet it’s a… SMALL number!!! Christ, get me out of here… – Eric
3. Matt Hardy – OK, let’s face it, it’s impossible to fill this up with 12 things if you don’t mention the literal white elephant in the room. (You’d think with all the drugs he does, he’d be skinnier, right?) Days after calling people out for being mean to him based on his personal choices (which he freely Tweets about and also which become a matter of public record because he’s a danger to others), he gets arrested for another DWI, this time in an airport. And then he claimed he was framed. By cops who have a vendetta against him. Wow. Not sure where the radiation came from that’s killed his brain, his antique North Carolinian computer monitor he sits in front of all day, or the microwave that nukes his daily 12-Hot Pocket lunch. – Eric
4. The Rock – He is flaunting the idea that he and John Cena will meet for the first time at Survivor Series. In other words a year was too long to wait for the first ever match up so let’s hype it all in two months. Long term planning be damned – Jeremy
5. Night of Champions – Why hasn’t the question been brought up more – neither Triple H nor CM Punk are champions. Why are they on this card? – Jeremy

6. Ric Flair/Sting – Really, this writes itself. They main event an episode of Impact Wrestling and it was a barn burner. It encompassed everything wrong with TNA. One guy can’t go and the other is bored but won’t retire. You figure out which is which. – Jeremy

7. Alex Riley – This is fake, but I don’t really give a flip:

I believe WWE is still presenting this as if it’s Riley official Twitter page, and therefore this gives me carte blanche to pretend this is a real news story. – Dusty

8. Teddy Hart – We’re talking new wrestling with keys to unlock weapons, robotic turnbuckles that can adjust the height, skateboarders, dogs running interference, etc. We’re talking about http://www.fightnetwork.com/news/wrestling/john-pollock-wai-ting-chat-w-teddy-hart/. We’re talking about Persian cats being the best cats the cat world can possibly offer. – Dusty

9. Bill Watts – So apparently he sucked a guy off once?

…Certainly, the sins above mentioned, we cannot overlook in our “judgmental pride” of being heterosexual—and I personally have been so guilty of them, and in my depravity of these abominations have so grieved the Spirit of God as I transgressed in them—–including even foolish, but not innocent homosexual experiences (not that I ever participated in committing a homosexual act myself, or even any homosexual touching, or being touched, or have even entertained any homosexual feelings—-but allowed myself to be orally gratified—-and that strictly one person’s oral stimulation only, by this homosexual at one point in my life)—-in my youth, as I reached that age of puberty, and hormonal rages, and sexual exploration——and worse, even allowing myself to be gratified by this homosexual for financial reward—–as many of us “young athletes did” (and I’m also speaking here of some of these athletes who became real stars in their sports, so we are not talking about “just ordinary people”—–or ignorant, or poverty trapped victims, but some exceptionally gifted athletes)—–as we were preyed upon by this influential and wealthy pervert in our youth——which does not in anyway excuse me in this abomination. (Yes, he also preyed on others, the non-athletes too.)Now, this person who I’m referring to above, was allowed to function in a very influential position by both of the major universities in our state, recruiting young high school athletes to their programs, (and as I have already indicated, many of whom he “gratified” later became stars in their sport—-football, wrestling, baseball, etc.) though these universities were “unaware” of his perversion—-at least initially, or else, they just “looked the other way.” (And, at some various points in time, he was even arrested for his perversion on young boys, but released, and went on as if nothing had happened, and continued in his relationship with these schools too, until the publicity of his activities became too well known.)

But I can tell you, he used that position to feed his desires by orally gratifying many “weak and impressionable,” and “morally weak” young boys and men—–and has continued to integrate himself into situations that would allow him to seduce even more—–for years and years and years now. When last I heard, he was still in charge of promoting youth wrestling in our state’s capital city.

If you consider how many young men and boys this one person practiced his perversion on—–even clear back when it was illegal——-can you imagine now, when we have created a “protected status” for them?!

He also introduced many of us to pornography—–to stimulate us while he indulged himself with us, because we certainly were not stimulated by him. I do not say this to excuse myself for allowing him to gratify me. I am totally responsible for my own actions in this!…

He’s the best booker ever, so I have to believe he did the right thing in this instance. – Dusty
Edit: Since I was a lazy and forgetful bastard, my choices got left off so I’ll add them now.
10. Night of Champions II – I’ve been excited about the recent resurgence of the tag team and to a lesser degree the Women’s division. It just dawned on me though that this could just be a longer term plan to make this pay per view more interesting then both of these divisions will be shuttered much like they have been for the past five years. Why else would the WWE give the main face of the tag team a division a name as terrible as Air Boom? -Kevin

11. Super Shows – I’m glad we have super shows now so that everything good that occurs on Smackdown will be repeated on Raw so that a much larger audience sees them. (That’s sarcasm.) See Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes and Mark Henry’s promo from each. I guess it’ll save me time in the future viewing both shows. -Kevin

12. What TNA Did Right This Week – I know I stole this gimmick from Jeremy quite some time ago but I will admit to liking the AJ Styles and Devon promos on Jeff Hardy. It’s a small consolation prize after watching the remainder of the crappy show including the awful finish from the aforementioned Sting vs. Ric Flair travesty. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio Show #156

Jeremy and Kevin finally follow through on a threat and talk about TNA. They realize that 9/11 is a touchy subject but they do wonder why Rosita was presented the way she was though. Even though her story is inspirational, doesn’t it kill her current gimmick? Would it have helped if TNA left her off the card except for the 9/11 tribute? The guys try to be delicate but as usual drop ideas that are so offensive even TNA wouldn’t use them. Speaking of offensive, find out how Kevin found the picture he found for his Raw blog which heads the guys into Raw talk. How seriously should we take every word CM Punk or HHH? Is their verbal sparing enough to sell Night of Champions on Sunday? What else happened on this show? What wrestlers are labeled “Shit or Get Off The Pot”? Could the guys interview Michael McGillicutty or David Otunga? Could they fill in for Jeremy and Kevin for a Stunt Granny podcast and make it entertaining? Hell no, that’s why you need to click on the link below.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #156

WWE Night of Champions review

A whole night of them!!

A whole night of them!!

Eric, Kevin and Jordan discuss the pretty-much-just-finished WWE pay-per-view Night of Champions. Was it worth all the gold on those belts? Or was it a big ol’ Western States Heritage Title of a show? Were the guys super-duper excited to see another match with Randy Orton, Triple H and John Cena? Or a main event with CM Punk and Jeff Hardy? And how much of a factor was the Philadelphia crowd? Who worked hard? Who obviously had a dozen Zingers in his system before defending his belt? Which skank needs to take her splits and split? Find out by clicking below!

WWE Night of Champions Review

Night of Champions Audio Preview

Onward!

Onward!

Just in the nick of time, Kevin and Jeremy return with their “Night of Champions Audio.” They cover every match on the card even if they felt there was no need for it. They even give their predictions on Chris Jericho’s mystery partner. There are some decent ideas tossed around and they actually sound like they could happen. They also discuss how the triple threat match is worthless and boring. Jeremy also manages at least one Hulk Hogan reference in to three of the top four matches and has no idea why. It’s a rollicking good time and a good companion to tonight’s show. So download it and listen. -Jeremy

Night of Champions 2009 Preview

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