Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Jeremy & Kevin October 4, 2012

Nothing says outsider like an officially licensed picture.

Kevin:  Are you listening to O&A?

Jeremy:  Cool, Ti West. I liked The Innkeeprs. It had some creepy stuff, especially the end.

Kevin:  Did he do anything else?

Jeremy:  The House of The Devil as well. He is promoting V/H/S. Hadn’t heard of that.

Kevin:  I remember him being on here before but didn’t remember any of his movies

Jeremy:  Only reason I watched Innkeepers was due to him being on. V/H/S looks pretty intense. Some low grade looking stuff but some other shockingly cool visuals too. Hmm, on the list now.

Jeremy:  Hey check this out, According to the Wrestling Observer Newsletter , there were wrestlers in the company who had said Garrett Bischoff was going to be a key part of Aces and 8s.

Jeremy:  Holy shit it makes perfect sense. Eric Bischoff is a big biker/ bike enthusiast.

Kevin:  So, judging from the “who had” and “was going” is there a different plan now?

Jeremy:  Not sure to be honest but it does make sense based off of that. Going off of last weeks Impact Wrestling it fits. Remember NWO biker Bischoff used to wear his hat backwards

Jeremy:  I understand it is a small detail.

Kevin:  Could it just be Eric Bischoff’s way to get back at Hulk Hogan for booting him out of power?

Jeremy:  Exactly

Kevin:  Garrett being in the group would make no sense whatsoever. But then again, turn on a dime alliances are a TNA staple

Jeremy:  His involvement is easily explained; they reconciled. Father and son getting back together. After he dumped his dad Garrett has done nothing memorable.

Jeremy:  Hell, Hogan just gave him the boot immediately for the TV title match. Dismissed him like a common whore. Um, so I heard. We will know if Garrett is in the match somehow.

Jeremy:  Makes me wonder if Devon also has something with this.

Kevin:  As in him being in the group or him leaving TNA caused a problem in the story line?

Jeremy:  Part of the storyline.

Jeremy:  Just posted a video on The Stunt Granny Facebook page. It has brought me to tears. Starts slow but stick with it.

Kevin:  So it isn’t Devon then?

Jeremy:  Ahh yes Devon, maybe I am reading too much in to it but since when does a wrestler leaving in a contract dispute become television. Other than Bret Hart?

Kevin:  It would make some sense because even Devon has been crapped after his first month of being TV champ.

Jeremy:  Yeah, can use the champion not gettign a contract thing

Kevin:  So, will the reveal of Eric be at BFG?

Jeremy:  Oh yeah for sure.

Kevin:  I was considering buying it since I still have the $5 off coupons

Jeremy:  I don’t even have it in me for the long Bwahahahahahaha.

Kevin:  Ugh, you are so right on that.

Buff Bagwell reportedly in car accident, Handsome Stranger unharmed

Longtime Stunt Granny readers know that sometimes we post items just to get page views, and this story is no different. For some reason, one of our top searches is “car accident,” and I can’t think of a relevant car accident since Nick Bollea and John Leguizamo or whatever his name was, so I’ll give you something to cry about: According to Prowrestling.net, Buff Bagwell was hospitalized after a car accident and is currently in intensive care. This, according to the UCW promotion’s Twitter account. Hey, if anyone is going to know what Marcus Alexander Bagwell from Sprayberry High School in Marietta, Ga., is up to, it’s a promotion out of Atlanta. However, this is the same Buff Bagwell who callously faked a neck injury in, well, one of the funniest angles in WCW history, so who’s to say?

Anyway, here’s hoping Bert Prentice’s lap wasn’t as badly injured in the accident. M I RITE? Is this thing on? -Eric

Jeremy’s Blog: Initial thoughts on Scott Hall: The Wrestler from E:60


In case you missed it last night, ESPN is offering up the Scott Hall’s “The Wrestler” segment from E:60 online. The segment was incredibly short and really shows how bad off Scott Hall is now. What it doesn’t do is explore anything in great detail. Sure, it gives probable cause for his addictions and shows what he goes through now, but there is no deep investigation. Some of this is the pratfall of committing only 15 minutes or so to the actual story.

The piece features a bunch of other wrestlers, friends, family or wrestling execs commenting on Scott Hall, but the way the short documentary was packaged it came across like they are distancing themselves from his ailments rather than explaining.  These are just my initial thoughts on the program. I reserve the right to reverse course after more viewings, so go screw.

Kevin Nash comes off as a jokester instead of a concerned friend. His line about driving a stake through Hall’s chest as the only means of killing him may be funny but it is sad all the same. It was never explored past that. It was a one-off comment that added little. Sure, it is meant to explain the copious amount abuse Hall has done to his body, but it came off as aloof instead of poignant.

One aspect that should have been explored to same detail was the fact that X-Pac/Sean Waltman was in a similar position and came out of it and thus his pain at seeing Scott continually failing would have been stronger. Waltman taking issue with promoter Steve Ricard is spot on, but then listening to Hall try and explain his situation afterwards lessened the blow. He says that a combo of medications messed his head up so bad that, “Brother, I didn’t even know what country I was in. I don’t even remember being there.” It is hard to feel sympathy for someone who appears to be reveling in it as he smiles and nearly laughs while explaining it all.

Continue reading

Second Annual Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame: Angles

Every year, starting in 2010, we here at Stunt Granny will go through a rigorous, dangerous, possibly illegal set of votes to induct people into our own Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame. The voting is broken up into four categories: Serious Wrestlers, Fun Wrestlers, Angles, and Matches. This post is for the Angles. Here are last year’s inductees:

Hulk Hogan joins the NWO, Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon – WWF 1998, Junk Yard Dog blinded, Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart – WWF 1993, Big Boss Man/Big Show/coffin angle, Ric Flair retirement 2008, Brian Pillman works WWF/WCW/ECW 1996, DX invades WCW, Megapowers form – WWF 1988, Randy Savage vs. Jake the Snake – WWF 1991

And now, without any further ado, here are this year’s inductees!

Hart Foundation vs.USA, WWF 1997

 The Four Horsemen form, break Dusty’s ankle

Big Boss Man/Al Snow/Pepper

Ric Flair retirement angle, WCW 1993

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, WWF 1987

WWF title vacated, leading to Royal Rumble to crown new champion, WWF 1991-92

Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair, Christmas 1982

Sting is kicked out of the Horsemen, WCW 1990

Bob Orton wears cast

WWE releases Chavo Guerrero, dead-uncle statute passed

Pucker up and kiss your contract goodbye, amigo!

See what you get for waking up early on a Saturday and browsing the Internet? I’ve accomplished more in 30 minutes — hung over, no less — than most people will all day! According to WWE.com, 10-year employee… excuse me, independent contractor (am I right, @The305MVP?) Chavo Guerrero has come to terms with WWE on Guerrero’s release. For those of you who follow Stunt Granny but haven’t really watched wrestling since the Monday Night Wars of the late 1990s, you may remember the last name “Guerrero” as that of phenomenal talent Eddie Guerrero, who sadly passed away in November 2005. However, you may barely remember his shifty nephew Chavo as a borderline obnoxious undercard wrestler who could kinda wrestle but mostly just pissed you off because you’d rather have been watching La Parka or the NWO.

Well, apparently WWE’s five-and-a-half-year statute on keeping a wrestler on the roster after his uncle died from pumping up the muscles on his small frame just to get ahead has expired, so Chavo is going to have to strap on a Speed Racer helmet and pretend to be excited about All Wheels Wrestling, or head back home with 24 of his best friends in one pickup truck. -Eric

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 6/11/11

1. Ultimate Warrior- Let’s sum up this week’s Warrior antics by simply saying he called out Hulk Hogan, essentially slandered the Hulkster, and is abusing his social media privileges by wildly saying things about another person that could get him in serious hot water. It’s a good thing Warrior doesn’t own shit except tassles and empty, decorative file cabinets, or Hogan’s potential lawsuit could cost Warrior his ass. (Maybe Destrucity will allow him to regenerate and grow a new ass.) – Eric

2. Hulk Hogan – On the other hand, Hulk Hogan has responded to Warrior’s attacks and accusations like a Real American: He’s threatening to sue. But that’s like putting a Band-Aid on throat cancer; you’re never going to keep someone as mind-boggly as Warrior quiet, so revert to your NWO days and run him over with a Hummer, or ignore him and, like the petulant 5-year-old he is, he’ll go away. – Eric

3. Matt Hardy – Apparently he is allergic to good decisions as well as red meat. Stupido posted a video of his inebriated brother using a taser gun on his girlfriend. Normally who cares but with Jeff up on drug trafficking charges maybe he shouldn’t be doing those things for public consumption. – Jeremy

4. Mick Foley – Mick and TNA have parted ways opening up the way for Mick to get back to WWE and stop slumming it. I’ll let Eric make the jokes but Mick needs to go back and replace Booker T. Wow has that idea not worked out at all. – Jeremy

5. Audio Sweetener – Someone, anyone, please teach TNA production how to use this thing. It sucks in the first place but when you try using it on 145 people it is just grating. If you amp up the cheering make sure you frame it so the tubs in the front row aren’t clearly sitting on their hands. This shit is easy. – Jeremy

6. Booker T – I think he is really good on Smackdown, so Jeremy can suck it on this. Look, when I’m watching baseball or basketball, I don’t want empty calorie cliches anywhere near my commentary. I want former players to tell me about what they would do in certain situations, what they did during certain situations, anecdotes from their playing days, why so and so always strikes out such and such, etc. But pro wrestling is different. Pro wrestling color was built on a foundation of empty cliches and meaningless yelling outbursts. Booker is funny and entertaining. I don’t look for anything else from him. The other announcers need to paint the picture. Booker is just there to add the accompanying Maddenesque “BOOM! BANG! POW!” stuff. – Dusty

7. Mick Foley – While I’m beating up Jeremy, I’ll continue with Foley here. Do you remember how absolutely terrible he was on commentary last time they tried that in WWE? Especially that ECW pay-per-view, which he almost single handedly ruined? Listen, I don’t want this guy anywhere near my television set. He has a gigantic ego, a small penis and no remaining skill whatsoever. I have his “performance” at that one Royal Rumble permanently etched into my mind, where rolling around on the mat like a bloated beached whale is what substituted for effort. So I definitely don’t want “one last match” from him. Nevermind the hypocrisy of him climbing back in the ring anyway after making such a big deal of his first retirement 100 years ago. He needs to go the fuck away. – Dusty

8. 1.0 – That was apparently the rating of this past week’s TNA Impact show, which I should note was the go-home show for the upcoming Slammiversary PPV. Even Stevie Wonder can use his voice to tell you that’s not a good rating. It’s really only a matter of time at this point. – Dusty

9. ODB – Speaking of Impact, you could apparently see ODB’s shaved vag stubble on that show on at least two separate occasions. Impact is the stuff nightmares are made of. – Dusty

10. Jinder Mahal – What do they see in this guy? What am I missing here? – Dusty

11. NBA Championship – The Heat are going to win in 7, mothertruckers. All hail King James! – Dusty

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 4/23/11

1. 1-2-3 Kid – The King of Trios tournament in Chikara Pro Wrestling has been the talk of the town, and Sean Waltman, aka 1-2-3 Kid, has been the talk of the talk of the town. Glad he got over his hepatitis long enough to wrestle, have some fun, entertain the nerds, Tweet about being in a wheelchair in the airport after the weekend, and still have time to plan an intervention for Scott Hall. – Eric

2. Scott Hall – I bet enough people remember Scott Hall that an NWO reunion on A&E’s “Intervention” would draw a decent rating. “Did you guys come here to watch… dogthebountyhunter? Or are you here for the hot mess we call the….” *crickets chirp* “One more for the good guys.” – Eric

3. Jay Lethal – Lethal was the latest new-generation wrestler released by TNA — on his god damn birthday, no less — because they have fuck-all for management and foresight. Maybe I’m in the minority, but if I had money to blow to start a wrestling company, Lethal would be a top-10 pick, for sure. He’s 25 years old, he’ll outgrow the Black Machismo costume, don’t worry. – Eric

4. Sin Cara & John Cena – Sin Cara got a big chant going for himself but John Cena killed it because the whole audience doesn’t like him. I’m not sure why the WWE continues to let Cena give “rubs” to people. Cena is a huge star, just don’t have him do this aspect of his job. The WWE should also note that some wrestlers can get over without speaking a word like Sin Cara. – Kevin

5. Johnny Gargano – He’s been a staple of Pro Wrestling Ohio but is now “out indefinitely”. In the mean time, he’s in EVOLVE and got big wins over Jon Davis and Chuck Taylor to become the wins leader in the league. He’s got a couple of big mentions on Twitter (@JohnnyGargano). It’s only a matter of time until TNA or the WWE comes calling but for the time being I hope to see him back in PWO since I can actually watch that show. – Kevin

6. Stacy Keibler – I saw her when she was on Chuck recently. Now she pops up on Tough Enough to help with the cheer squad routine. Many people wondered if Stacy was making her way back into the WWE. According to her interview on MayhemNightMayhem.com, she will not be coming back any time soon. Evidently because she has so much in the works according to her iMDB page. – Kevin

7. Matt Hardy – Matt Hardy claimed he had a broken arm after Lockdown. Turns out it was just strained from bench pressing forty-seven thirty-pound containers of Mint Chocolate Chip Double Fudge Ice Cream with deep fried pork rhines in to that gape he calls a mouth. -Jeremy

8. TNA Lockdown – What a perfect PPV. You put a bunch of older wrestlers you can’t fire for fear of paying off large sums of money, in a cage and let them do all sorts of dangerous moves in the hopes one of them hurts themselves so severely you can cut their ass for not being able to perform. Who says TNA has no heart? – Jeremy

9. Signs at wrestling shows – If I had any type of control whatsoever, I would ban signs completely from wrestling shows. I think they are ridiculous, unnecessary and a bother to people who just want to come to a show to actually watch the show, and not just look at the back of your idiotic sign all night. However, if you put a gun to my head and forced me to allow signs under a condition, I would make that condition for you to have to be able to spell properly. Please. – Dusty

10. Superstar Billy Graham – So the Superstar is all butthurt now because WWE decided to put Abdullah the Butcher into their total fake, completely arbitrary Hall of Fame because Abby is a garbage wrestler or something. Abby meanwhile is confused about all of this, justifiably so since he can probably still, to this day, main event any indy show in the world, and has helped Graham financially over the years as well. Lesson learned: the only words that come out of Graham’s mouth are nonsense words. – Dusty

11. The Ultimate Fighter 13 – Not necessarily wrestling related, but everyone reading this should be watching this season of TUF on the reg, if only to count how many times Brock Lesnar uses the phrase “turn chicken shit into chicken salad.” – Dusty

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