The Art of Wrestling: Halloween Costume Ideas

HalloweenWrestlerGirlsI tried to acquire my Halloween picture from my parents earlier this year that had my younger brother & I dressed as the Bushwhackers. I was unsuccessful after looking through a trunk full of pictures. It will be found and used eventually. For now, you get these lovely ladies above. I did see on Wellyourewrong’s Instagram a fantastic picture of a new group of ladies dressed as the Wyatt Family. Maybe it’ll be in a Google search next year. TNA & the WWE both had Halloween Specials going on. Of course ROH didn’t have this section because their whole promotion is a trick on wrestling fans the world over. Let’s figure out which outfits will get the least amount of treats for your children.

TNA has a formula for their sixteen costumes. With that still massive roster, one would think they’d be able to provide more choices. Aces & Eights have two choices along with Bully Ray having his own separate costume. That makes sense since they’re down to two members and Bully Ray in the group. Jeff Hardy is the only single wrestler with multiple costumes. He’s got 3. Considering that his fans are “The Creatures of the Night” it is fitting. That means that TNA really only has thirteen real costumes. Back to the TNA formula. It’s shirt and two accessories. Some of these don’t help you look anything like the wrestler illustrated.

Like the Mickie James costume which comes with your very own Somebody’s Gonna Pay CD. I’m not that willing to help out Mickie or TNA to unload their over abundance of terrible country music even at a 50% discount. How about including some Mickie James booty shorts? You’re trying to sell us, well, Tits N’ Ass and Halloween has become a slutty holiday for women. TNA could even crop the shirt like Mickie liked to do.

mickie-james TNA Ref

Maybe I don’t want female wrestling fans dressing like this.

Some of the costumes do help you look like the wrestler, like the pair of Aces & Eights costumes. Nothing quite says bad ass like either a beer cozy or that mask like device that Knux used to wear. If that doesn’t say tough guy to you yet, they add in a snazzy ball cap that is sure to impress the boys in your crew. If those aren’t you’re bottle of beer, you could choose to go with the leather wrist band, chain wallet and bandana. If you’re the leader of your crew though, I’m sure the Bully Ray package will make you the top dawg. You know you’ll show your boys real biker style when you get the Bully Ray trucker hat. Your other boys bandana is too frilly to. Show that girl that simple is the style with this bandana with only the Aces & Eights logo. Lest anyone question your credibility, just point down to your shirt and tell them you’re from Hell’s Kitchen, bitch.

My favorite package though has to be from ODB. It’s because I’m sure I could find uses for the ODB flask. The wife beater with the hand prints is something I could be stupid enough to wear during Halloween. I would get use out of the flask that night for sure. After Halloween is over, that beater can just be worn under your gym shirt and no one will be the wiser. The best part of it is that this combo is only $18.99.

If TNA isn’t quite your speed, WWEshop.com has Halloween gear for you too. They also have some useful and not so useful packages. They also have less choices than TNA which is flat weird. They are all for the AJ Lee, CM Punk, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, John Cena, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Sheamus and the Wyatt Family. That’s a pretty weak choice selection.

Of course, I did omit two choices on purpose. But eleven choices is still really weak. Like the ladies on the top of the post, they have two old school costumes, neither of which the ladies are wearing. You could snag a Sergeant Slaughter kit which comes with fake muscles. I’m not sure why since good ole’ Sarge never was much of one to hit the weight room, unless you count his days on G.I. Joe. At least it’s adult sized so that old people can recognize your costume because the WWE’s target audience is going to have no clue. If you want to go old school for your child though, they provide you with a mini-Undertaker costume. The WWE is nice enough to add foam lapels to the black jacket. I can understand getting a foam chest with this costume. The last piece to this costume is the wide brimmed hat. It’s just too bad that the WWE didn’t include the hair extensions or else this costume would be worth kidnapping a little person like Los Matadores did and dressing them up for only $24.99.

GI Joe Sgt SlaughterIf you want to “Follow the Buzzards” though, it’s time to get the ultimate Wyatt Family package. You get a t shirt, straw fedora, a sheep’s mask and a lantern. This is a two person costume package because you can’t wear a fedora and sheep’s mask at the same time. The WWE also provides a separate sale for a red beard if you want to make sure your partner in crime looks like Erick Rowan. Considering all of the corporate tie ins the WWE has, I’m not sure why they went with a cheap lantern. They could have talked to Coleman to sell a special WWE sponsored look for those of you who like to go out and camp. It’s also look more like the one that Bray Wyatt uses coming down to the ring. The WWE could have at least made it green to come closer. They also could have really made this a three person package by including a stained wife beater and handkerchief so that someone could look like Luke Harper.

I could go through all of both TNA & WWE’s choices, but I’m going to make like a ghost and disappear from this article. Happy Halloween! – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #TNA #ImpactWrestling

repeater_300dpiI’m repeating my weekend travel plans from last week except I’m going for my girl’s grandmother’s 92nd birthday. So in order to clean off the DVR, let’s roll.

I forgot that they were going to be at IUP. James Storm is in the ring. AJ Styles is in the stands. Bad Influence joins them. I do like their sales pitch. Aces & Eights are beating up Storm again. The rest of the people who have been beat up suck. Joseph Park sucks the least. 3D thru the table so he can feel his Abyss roots.

Aces & Eights are still in the ring so that they can suck the energy out of the room. They beat up all of our heroes. Why didn’t they deliver that promo before the break? It was a short promo then you reset after the commercial break. Tazz tried to sound tough before another commercial break. Yep, thanks for making two segments suck instead of one.

Taryn Terrell is fighting Tara. The only thing catching my attention are Tazz & Tenay fighting like sixth graders. Then Tazz notes that ODB is sober. Yep, they let Taryn hang around to get the cheap pin when Tara got cocky. Always a decent way to build up a babyface without hurting the heel. People don’t care.

Rob Terry is taking on Jesse. I feel bad for this crowd. What did they do to deserve this? Robbie E saves Jesse from a pin. Weird spine buster type move for the win by Terry. Woof.

Bad Influence tries to recruit Bobby Roode. We get reruns of Jeff Hardy losing. Good for Chris Sabin coming back. He’s a tough cookie.

Austin Aries confronts Bobby Roode about getting Fortune back together. He makes several good points himself. I guess they’re gunning for the World Tag Team Titles. Chavo & Hernandez have the belts but seem like after thoughts in this match. The baby faces get to take advantage of an arguing team. Wow, Hernandez looked like he may have hurt himself. I’m not surprised. The match has been pretty good as a over all though. Kaz runs interference. Daniels interference back fires. Frog Splash win.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #TNA #ImpactWrestling

LetsTrySomethingNew

Well, this isn’t something new but it is a new post. I have another one to finish up but it requires more thought than this type of article. I also need to get this off my DVR because I’m traveling to Altoona PA this weekend. Let’s roll.

We start with the 2 young male escorts Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff against Kurt Angle. They do a solid job of reminding us what the feud is about. AS usual nothing happens before a commercial break in a match. That was a hell of a bump for Bischoff to take on the double German suplex. Bischoff nails Angle with the chain for the win. This is stupid. Even my girl agrees. Nice of them to swipe The Shield’s move. Ken Anderson gets to babble. I can’t believe I liked him at some point.

Zema Ion and Petey Williams take on Kenny King for the X Division. I can’t stop staring at the referee’s hat to know what’s going on in the ring. I do like the X cam but I’m not sure why it looks so washed out. Oh, that’s the camera. I’m not paying much attention in general. They’re making Petey look pretty awesome. Ha. Cheap win by King. I feel bad for Ion. Brutus Magnus is going for the TV Title. Solid work from him as usual. I like his under statement.

Christy Hemme and Brooke Hogan are getting ready to launch the new Knockout’s website and photos. Brooke then talks down to Mickie James and Brook Tessmacher. Devon comes out first for some reason. Magnus gets attacked on the ramp by Mike Knox & DOC. This one trick pony is old. Aces & Eights aren’t really getting heat. Samoa Joe makes the save but why did they walk away? Kick his ass too.

Part of the reason to write this column is to rip on Tazz. He has surpassed Mike Tenay for worst announcer in wrestling. Having to act like a heel is not working for him in any way. He never sounds genuine. Samoa Joe is pissed. This AJ Styles thing isn’t interesting either. I don’t care which side he’s on. He’s not that big of a deal. I like him but whatever. Velvet Sky is selling an injury? Is this real? I don’t care enough to look up whether it’s real. ODB didn’t get any promo time for this match. Tessmacher then Mickie James. Forgot ODB was the ref. Why is Mickie looking like she wants to fight ODB? You can’t start rotating thru female refs this quickly. I like ODB ordering them back into the ring. Regular referees should be that stern. The Thesz Press off the top is always a like awkward. Tazz not having a come back to Tenay seals the deal on why he’s such a bitch now. You’re a tough guy compared to your partners. Bully them. Mickey reverses a reverse for the win. Solid match. Kaz and Christopher Daniels are moderately funny. Joseph Park gets attacked by Bully Ray. He gives us a sexist sentence. He’s a lawyer who isn’t going to press charges? Ironic. I wonder if they’re trying to do the same thing once every 15 minutes or 30.

Mickie James put together a good promo which is strange. It was never her strong suit. James Storm reminds us that this angle has taken entirely too long. Daniels & Kaz are back. Daniels said something. Kaz wants the tag team titles back. Austin Aries & Bobby Roode are still stuck in tag team hell because Aces & Eights are over bearing. Chavo & Hernandez clear the ring. Snooze.

So Jeff Hardy is really hurt? Roode has turned himself into a good talker. Matt Morgan is gloating again. Is he supposed to be turning baby face? He wants to take on Bully Ray but that cocky ass is so heelish. Why didn’t Aces & Eights just attack Samoa Joe too? Devon is a bad sergeant at arms. Tazz says people hate his guts because of his opinions. No, we hate you because you suck. Brisco distracts the ref. Anderson brass knuckles Samoa Joe. Devon makes the pin. It’s like clock work.

AJ Styles tries to run out of the match. James Storm attacks him on the ramp to stop him. Both men are wearing black. Aces & Eights wear black. Let’s try and make this product even more bland. AJ’s look is a little sheep dog for me. I do like a change for him though. It’d be kind of funny if he joined Kaz & Daniels. Storm taps to a sharp shooter type move. I know it has a name that I don’t remember. AJ Styles leaves Storm alone to catch a beating. Kaz & Daniels get an ass kicking too. Bully Ray delivers a fine enough promo but I don’t care because he became boring the minute he joined Aces & Eights. Dumb. It limits him way too much. He was better without this crew. They’re dragging him down. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of @ImpactWrestling

It’s been a Kevin heavy week with me attending Raw, actually getting to Prime Wrestling and now having a Friday devoid of my girl I get to do more reviews. TNA has gotten the short end of the stick recently around these parts. So even though I watched a little of it last night, I’m starting fresh for this review.

I didn’t hear much of this James Storm promo last night because Baby Momma Drama wouldn’t stop talking. I didn’t miss much. Not bad but no meat to it. Bobby Roode interrupts. He has much more meat on his end. I like it. I like it even more after their scuffle and him talking Storm into a dumb match. Hulk Hogan talks about AJ Styles’s frustration. Hogan points out that he’s his own worst enemy. So it was his idea to put him into a never ending feud that ended abruptly and was terrible 75% of the time for the last year? I don’t think so.

DOC gets to defend himself. He points out all of the beatings he’s been dishing out. Devon picks someone by dart. I’d whoop his ass in Cricket. Kid Kash gets a shot at the TV Title because he’s on the roster. Not sure the last time I saw him win. RVD is doing the selling early. This match has been terrible. Both of them look at fault for it. RVD with the frog splash. Yawn. Eric Young is talking up his show, except for not using the name. ODB is still horny.  The whole act has lost some momentum.

Kurt Angle talks to Garrett and whoever the other guy is. I watch every week. Wes evidently. No wonder I don’t remember it. Jesse is taking on Young. The ladies are at ring side. EY pays too much attention to ODB whooping on Tara. Jesse catches him with a super stunner for the win.

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News We Missed: Chris Sabin, Animal Planet, Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly

Since we haven’t had a news round up in a while, let’s move on for some small ditties. According to Prowrestling.net, Chris Sabin has torn his other ACL and will be out of action again. You’ve got to feel bad for this guy after being back for no more than two months to have it happen again. Granted, he wasn’t going anywhere since his partner in crime Alex Shelley bolted for some pasture that isn’t even as green as TNA. Maybe Sabin can help design TNA’s video game. Oh that’s right, they’re only good enough to have a board game.

Staying in Impact Wrestling, Eric Young will be hosting a program on Animal Planet called “Off The Hook: Extremes Catches”. His first episode will feature how he keeps catching a contract from Dixie Carter. In the second episode, EY will be explaining how he caught ODB as his wife. In the third episode, we’ll find out what Young can catch in his beard. By the time the fourth episode is ready to air, Animal Planet will realize they’ve wasted more money on EY than TNA so they’ll mercifully cancel the show.

Last but not least, both Randy Orton & Kelly Kelly are set to make returns to the WWE. Orton will be ready to go when the WWE visits Cincinnati for Monday Night Raw. I can’t wait for HHH to come out and rip on him for how skinny Orton has become during his hiatus. Kelly Kelly will be sleeping with the guys in the back starting this coming Monday. She will stick around long enough for the WWE to mention Maxim’s Hot 100 enough to make guys feel like that outdated magazine means anything. If you do like that magazine, I feel sorry for your penis when you jerk off. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: #iMPACTWrestling – For The Hell of It

I need this head scratcher to figure out Hogan's Open Fight Night concept.

I know I mentioned this in an audio recently but I’m not sure I mentioned it in this space. My levels of reviews are Definitely or Almost Live which happens the night of the show. A Day Late & A Dollar Short is, duh, the next day. For The Hell Of It title says I just want to put content on the site. I’d imagine anyone that wanted to read a review of these shows has done it already. I’m throwing some pity because of their dismal ratings news. Plus, I know I won’t review the show on time this coming week. I have a ticket to go see Mick Foley & the Reverend Bob Levy on Thursday. I’m excited.

I want to vomit already. Hulk Hogan just called Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus the greatest tag team ever. OK, well, only one champ each “Fight Night” can be called out? Or is Hogan just assigning one title match and the rest of the champs can still be called out? Devon comes out and calls out Bully Ray. I guess the champ can call someone out. All of the roster is hanging out together. Um, why? Just watch from your locker room. Bully Ray turns down the challenge. Shouldn’t Hogan have come out and enforced his won rules? Devon starts the match by attacking Bully Ray on the ramp. At least Taz called the Dudleys the greatest tag team of all time. He was trying to correct Hogan’s nonsense. They probably aren’t but they’re closer than the other clowns. Nothing happening before the commercial break.

Taz & Mike Tenay are praising the concept but doing nothing to help define it. The action has been pretty solid. It’s all familiar stuff. It makes sense they’re going for big shots and power moves. Devon gets the win after a spine buster. I would have liked to have seen him get some more offense in before the pin fall. Austin Aries talks about not being impressed with Bully Ray. Ric Flair is asked about the proper send off for Eric Bischoff. According to Flair, Eric is the greatest promoter of all time. Yep, I’m sure that’s why “his” company got bought by WWE.

Kazarian & Christopher Daniels talked to Kurt Angle. He yells at them for helping him because he doesn’t need anyone’s help. OK then. Jeremy Borash came to the ring. He says that Eric Bischoff is the biggest prick the company has ever had. Borash wants to fight him. Bischoff comes down clapping. As Eric talks, Bully Ray low blows JB. Bischoff pulls his leg up and gets the pin. JB could have kicked out. Ball shots hurt but prove a point. And why does a leaving heel need heat? Or this much camera time? Boy I can’t think of why they’re rating is below 1.0.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Jeff Hardy's shirt reminds me of Impressionist paintings. This one is Sunrise by Monet, who is a favorite of mine.

James Storm is distraught over not winning the TNA Title. I’m not the biggest fan of this happening. They do make things work. I thought Bobby Roode would have been dropping the title too soon, which I don’t think I’d said in my previous reviews. I still think Storm should have won but they gave him a nice out by having him practically won. Roode comes out to gloat. I’m digging the new hair cut. It fits a suit better. Roode says he has no opponents left which brings out Mr. Anderson. Roode tells him to get to the back of the pack. Jeff Hardy hobbles out. He thinks he deserves a title shot. Him & Anderson argue. Hulk Hogan wants all the champs out in the ring later. Hardy will fight Anderson.

Crimson & Bully Ray team against Matt Morgan & Austin Aries. Morgan starts against Crimson. They continue to do the heavy work but Crimson was on offense most of the time. Aries gets the tag and brings the fun to the match. Bully Ray pulls the trunks to win. Garrett Bischoff is sauntering in the back.

Hardy thinks it’s his turn to get the title. Jeff thinks it was a good call by Hogan for the match. Garrett comes out. The crowd is excited for the guys around him but go silent when he starts talking. He thanks AJ Styles, RVD & Anderson along with Aries in the back. Ric Flair interrupts the blow jobs. Flair tells Garrett the truth when he rips his mic work. This story continues. Please kill me. They bleep the Bischoff for Eric. Woof. If you’re going to rip someone else’s mic work, bring something other than your worst. Christopher Daniels was holding evidence about AJ Styles. Double Ugh.

Magnus & Samoa Joe talk to Devon about the champs meeting. Short & pointless. Kurt Angle is taking on AJ Styles. My cable cut out of the match but went to commercial. I didn’t miss much. Styles is in control after the break. Daniels gives AJ whatever is in the mystery envelope. AJ screams “How’d you get this?” Angle rolls up AJ for the win. If it was AJ this whole time, why did you wait to reveal it? Stop continuing story lines that suck. Joseph Park tries to talk to Gunner. Park wants answers. Gunner tells him to ask Bully Ray because they wrestled together last.

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