Stunt Granny Audio #256

Jeremy and Kevin get off to a roaring start by talking about how Dolph Ziggler is Kevin’s child. Does Kevin really look like he could have a child who graduated from Kent State? How dumb is the waitress that asked him this question? Is she dating anyone important to the story? They move into talking about the Godzilla trailer above. Jeremy adeptly tells Kevin what the difference is between Mothra and Rodan. What else can Jeremy tell the forgetful one? How great would Bryan Cranston be if he had a bad over dubbed Japanese voice? What do the guys think of movies with subtitles? Speaking of disasters, they finally pivot into talking about wrestling and more specifically TNA or Impact Wrestling. How did Eric Young get crowned TNA Champion when an actual pay per view was held two weeks later? How do they expect us to believe that crowning Eric Young was always in their plans? What other character in the title struggle reminds Kevin of another WWE character? If Eric Young isn’t worthy of a title reign, who is in TNA? Jeremy & Kevin finally get around to talking about the WWE, specifically about the John Cena and Bray Wyatt segment to open the show. What is working for that segment specifically? How creepy was it to have a child on Wyatt’s lap? Does anyone know who Uncle Paul is? Could the WWE have made it creepier? When should Renee Young have been done interviewing John Cena? Why does he wreck his own angle? Why can’t the announcers make an impact on the angle through words? Was Jim Ross right about Michael Cole all along? Who wins Cena and Wyatt’s cage match at TLC on Sunday? Find out that and more when you click on the link below!

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

calvin-writing

Quotes from Jeremy on Facebook about Wrestlemania – #1. Yeah I totally got away with not contributing at all this year. Fortunately Kevin DiFrango was there for us all. (About my last preview post for Wrestlemania) #2. Kevin DiFrango wrote about WrestleMania 29. I saved $70.00 by not ordering and reading his review. I hope you do the same. (Considering I posted this today, Jeremy know his tenses very well.)

Quotes from Dusty on Facebook about Wrestlemania – Just read the quick results for Mania. The only result that didn’t make me want to jam a needle into my eye was Del Rio beating Swagger. Glad I occupied myself with baseball and old SNL today

Quotes from Eric on Facebook about Wrestlemania

I get the odd feeling we won’t be talking about Wrestlemania this year. I re-watched the first two or three matches last night. I’ll try and watch the rest of the matches at some other point to properly evaluate. When you’re watching during a party and having to explain past histories and build up, you don’t pay attention very well. Toss in trying to blog and you’re nearly useless. I’m home with two conked out dogs. Time to concentrate on Raw. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out and gives a Cena speech. He is the only person that gets this much of a reaction unless you count the part timers. Ryback and CM Punk come close. Mark Henry spoils the victory speech. Cena tries to derail a good promo. Booker T comes out to kill a main event that should headline a PPV. I have no idea where Vickie Guerrero is. Booker turns it into a non-title match. Henry still delivers a good promo.

Daniel Bryan comes down with Kane. Big E Langston comes down with some guy with blonde hair and a woman who might be smaller than my sister. I’m glad this crowd is better than the one last night. Nice choice of the director to not show Langston tossing Bryan onto Kane. Langston wins with the Big Ending. That was quick. Glad to know that Ziggler’s briefcase will continue to not be used as he still pursues the useless tag titles.

Wade Barrett gets his rematch against the Miz who went back to the goofy jacket for some reason. It doesn’t fit his character so I have no idea what he’s thinking. I do like the new wrestling gear though. Of course nothing happened before the commercial. I was grabbing dinner finally so I missed Barrett’s spell of offense. Barrett gets to break the figure four. Barrett whacks the Miz off the post. Bull Hammer for the win. Okay. Can someone tell me what the purpose of Barrett dropping the strap in the first place? Vickie & Brad Maddox are yammering when Sheamus comes in. He gets a match but Vickie doesn’t specify against who. Glad to know she’s as tired of that match as the rest of us are.

Booker T is backstage when Randy Orton approaches. Of course he wants a match against Big Show too. Booker over rules Vickie. Oh crap. It’s going to be worse than I thought with just a plain old rematch. We’re on the brink of anarchy according to Zeb Colter. Damn, I just got my finances straightened out. At least I had a good couple of year run to enjoy it before anarchy.

Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger do the heavy lifting. No surprise there. Also no surprise that they go to commercial with someone laying outside the ring. JBL has been stumping for free speech but doesn’t want it when Jerry Lawler makes a Colter joke. Neither Mitchell Cool nor Lawler called him on it. Del Rio breaks the Patriot Act. Del Rio turns a second attempt into a cross arm breaker. That was slick. Swagger taps out. Del Rio starts selling his ankle injury. Dolph Ziggler comes out. He cashes it in. The crowd is going crazy. The WWE will have it on mute in the main office. Enziguri by Del Rio. Kick out by Ziggler who had to wait until 2. Ziggler gets out of the cross arm breaker with a partial ankle lock. Zig Zag for the World Championship. Awesome. So awesome.

The fun continues. The Shield comes out when the Undertaker comes out. Glad to know he’s taking off more time officially. I’m not surprised. Aww crap, they do love this three man group so much, they’ve made up another three man group to not make them singles wrestlers.

Dolph Ziggler gets to give a victory speech. He said that this is his Wrestlemania moment. It is about damn time. Great cockiness that he needs to keep. 3MB gets to wrestle R Truth, Zack Ryder & Santino Marella. This match is very exciting for all involved. You didn’t get into Wrestlemania, here’s your consolation prize. Cobra beats Heath Slater. Awesome, they showed Fandango’s appearance on Opie & Anthony. Nice showing from little Jimmy Norton. Kaitlyn got to give away tickets instead of having her Wrestlemania moment. Sheamus and Randy Orton are arguing. Sheamus tells Orton that he’s got this. Orton is sitting back too much these days.

Big Show was angry last night. He is obviously angling for a feud with Randy Orton since another feud with Sheamus will bore us to death. Sheamus and Orton talk more. Tweet my choice. #IDontGiveACare. After the commercial break, we get a match between them for a chance at Big Show. I do love the after Wrestlemania crowds. This is down right hilarious. RVD! JBL! Jerry! Michael Cole! Commercial break! ECW! Lawler is thinking the crowd might run out of chants. The announcers finally get to talking about the match too. The wave. Clubbering time. Randy Savage! HBK! White noise and the crowd boos. Missed Brogue Kick. The Big Show comes out. Sheamus into the post. Thank You Big Show! Finished off with a WMD on Orton. Nope, not finished off. Really setting up the feud. Big Show is looking impressive in the process.

Fandango comes out. Kofi Kingston gets to job. How the moderately powerful have fallen. I guess they didn’t want Kofi to job? Chris Jericho interferes. I’m fine with keeping the feud going. The announcers complain about their table being used again. Walls of Jericho that referees try to break it up. Code Breaker as the finale. The crowd loved it. They also love Fandango correcting Justin Roberts.

Paul Heyman is interviewed by Josh Matthews. He sells Brock Lesnar. Heyman moves on to CM Punk. He is going to let Punk do his talking next week on Raw. Interesting. I like the tease. The Bellas & Rhodes Scholars come out for the oops, we put P Diddy on the show instead of you. So what if the crowd crapped on Diddy. Tons of Funk & the Funkadactyls are out second. The crowd is loving Sandow. Double Splash on Sandow for the Tons of Funk win. We didn’t miss anything on Wrestlemania.

Holy crap, that’s a real shirt that John Cena is wearing. You couldn’t see the belt earlier. If anyone over 12 buys that, they deserve to be beaten senseless. Mark Henry is using the power to his advantage. Duh. Count out victory for John Cena. There we go, figured an attack was coming. Ryback comes out. So Cena will get another feud. Feed me more. He looks at Cena. Then offers a hand.  Cena goes to tje ropes. Hilarious. He’s got to be trolling the crowd. Meat Hook clothesline on Cena. Shell shock. Surprised this crowd is getting into Ryback this much. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #WWE #Wrestlemania

my busy day

Alrighty, I’m actually starting on time after a busy day of making some great food. I got an assist from my woman who made dessert and from my neighbor who smoked some ribs and chicken. I hope everyone enjoyed the previews. I hope everyone had a perfect day like we did here in the fine city of Columbus. Enough about the day. It’s time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

Sheamus hits the ring first so we know they are winning. You always need a crowd pleasing win to start the show. Randy Orton & the Big Show join him on stage before they saunter to the ring. The Shield makes their group entrance. Roman Reigns starts the match for them along with Sheamus. Seth Rollins gets in some offense for the Shield. Dean Ambrose gets to show off how to take a beating from Show. I’m surprised that Show takes a beating early on. Why are the baby faces unclothing the heels? I hope Rollins is still alive. Dear lord that looked bad. Orton is the one that pisses off Big Show. Maybe we don’t see a baby face win. Dean Ambrose with the pin after a spear. Big Show slacked on breaking up the pin. The crowd seemed to like the outcome. I still want for them to do something more than three man matches. Big Show knocks both of them out. They needed to keep him heel so that’s one way to do it.

Mark Henry is the next one out of the shoot. I’m glad they’re giving me plenty of time to beer myself and my neighbors. Ryback gets the big second entrance. Henry gets the first offense. Pictures of the beer will be coming later. The Meat Hook clothesline gets busted out pretty early in Ryback’s offense. Nice way for Henry to get out of Shell Shock. Holy crap, he pinned him. That’s a pretty weak victory. Ah, Ryback is going to get the mojo back after a post match beat down. Isn’t that the job of the heel? I’m confused.

My boy Dolph Ziggler, Big E Langston & AJ Lee get thei first entrance. Kane & Daniel Bryan are the champs so they get the second entrance. Bryan almost gets the 18 second pin on Dolph who got a kiss from AJ. Langston shows off his strength against Kane. I’ll be surprised if Kaitlyn doesn’t make an appearance. Big E has some nice agility considering his background. Daniel Bryan wins with a flying head butt. My neighbors, woman & myself thought that the ref counted three on Kane earlier.

Stupid Lilian doesn’t know how to pronounce Fandango. When Chris Jericho was on Opie & Anthony on Thursday, you could tell he wasn’t very interested in this match. I haven’t looked that well at the set until now. We’ve got the Brooklyn Bridge, Empire State Building & Statue of Liberty. Of course a year I decide not to preview what the set might look like, they decide to go local on the set. JBL said he was surprised how long this match has gone. I’m not too surprised. The first hour moves pretty quick in most Wrestlemanias. Jericho kicks out of the top rope leg drop which I’m guessing is going to be his finisher. Jericho air balls the knees up. Good recovery by Jericho. Fandango wins with a small package. I’m better with that finish than I thought I’d be.

I find out that the Miz won the Intercontinental Championship with a figure four as Wade Barrett taps. I don’t care enough to turn into the preshow. Zeb Colter thinks people still speak Eyetalian in the US. Woof. Jack Swagger gets to pace. Alberto Del Rio gets the big entrance. The first thing I notice in the match is the giant brace that Del Rio is wearing. The match has been fine. I like Zeb denying the foot moving. Another interesting finish. Del Rio monkeys around with Colter. Swagger gets the drop on him. Del Rio locked in the cross arm breaker after Swagger got back into the ring. You’re still not Rey Mysterio.

Living Colour sounds much better than P Diddy/Sean Combs. CM Punk is sporting a Gracie Jiu Jitsu sweatshirt. I’ve got to think even more that Undertaker wins this one with it being this early on the card. Hard to believe this is the half way time of the show. I dig the people grabbing at Taker. My neighbor makes a good crack that hell is New Jersey. The wife part of the neighbors has noted that many wrestlers have gone purple for tonight’s outfit. Completely agree. Nice reversal of Old School. Even better of Punk to reverse it. Nothing happens until Punk gets crotched n his second Old School attempt. Heyman distracts Taker long enough so that Punk can nail a spring board clothes line. Macho Man elbow only gets two. Last Ride is reversed into a head kick. Punk isn’t heavy enough to break the table. Cool moment anyway. Taker beats the count. Hell’s Gate end sup leading to an Anaconda Vice. People go nuts for the Tombstone. People get a little deflated when Punk kicks out. People love Taker kicking out after the urn shot. 2nd Tombstone gets the win. People go bananas.

I wolfed down my woman’s cookies & cream cheese cake. It was awesome. Great food day even if we had a small lunch at Taco  Bell. Shawn Michaels came out first. Brock Lesnar comes out second. Weird. Dear lord. HHH tries to come up with creative entrances but they all end up sucking. He’s so losing after the fireworks went off. Glad HHH is going with some chest hair. The Spanish announce table finally breaks. I didn’t expect that. BRock goes to work on him in the ring. Lesnar is tossing HHH around tonight. German suplex to follow it up. And another one. I’m going to guess that there won’t be too many tables or ladders in this match. Michaels takes an F5. HHH follows with a Pedigree. It didn’t work. Lesnar with an F5 on HHH. Still only two. The ladies are grossed out by Lesnar’s boogie. Lesnar whacks HHH with the stairs. A second set of stairs only gets two. Kimura by Lesnar. HHH rams him into a corner. Lesnar sits on the top rope and locks back in the kimura. Spinebuster by HHH. Holy shit, the feed just froze as Lesnar runs into the ring post. Mother fucking WOW. I’ve seriously got to consider changing cable companies. HHH has the kimura locked in when I get the feed back. Lesnar slams HHH on the steps.  Repeat the cycle. And again. Well, it was a DDT on replay. Sledge hammer time, right to the head. Pedigree on the steps. HHH wins. Boo. Good match from what I saw. Wrestlemania is not where wrestlers go to die.

John Cena is a bad man. I like the solo entrance. He didn’t do one of his over the top entrances. Too bad he duck waddles when he runs. That’s an extra long ramp at Wrestlemania. The Rock takes his grand old time to get to the ring. We’ve got thirty nine minutes left as the bell rings. The crowd has sounded weird tonight. Did the crowd sound awful when we were in Orlando? That’s the last outdoor one I can remember. Texas, Phoenix, Atlanta, shit where were they last year? Anyway, they look more animated than the sound I hear most of the time. Taker match was the most clear to me. The match has moved along in the first seven minutes. Nothing of consequence. The missed flying tackle looked really ridiculous. Sharp Shooter by Rock. My neighbors aren’t buying it. They’re quick learners. Missed Five Knuckle Shuffle. STF after the Rock had a bit of offense. The crowd isn’t buying the urgency either. Five Knuckle Shuffle is hit. Rock Bottom after Cena being dismayed. Attitude Adjustment. No one is still surprised. Too much time left in the broadcast. People’s Elbow only gets a two count. Cena kicks out of another Rock Bottom. The crowd is back into it. Attitude Adjustment after a Five Knuckle Shuffle attempt by the Rock. Would have been poetic justice but they pass on it. Cena gets two from a Rock Bottom. Cena goes back to the People’s Elbow. Cena stops at the ropes. Rock Bottom. Another kick out. DDT by the Rock but he waits for Cena. Rock drops another mother fucker. Attitude Adjustment for the win. Duh. We’ll wait for part III. They shake and hug after the match. The Rock looks unhappy. They aren’t foreshadowing a third match up at all. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Socrates You're Drunk

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania. I had no idea that “Go Home, You’re Drunk” was a meme. I’m not exactly excited by this show. In fact, when I heard Michelle Beadle and Sam Roberts talking about it on After Opie & Anthony Live talking about how excited they were for Wrestlemania since it’s in “New York City” that I wanted to puke. All I could think to myself was “They have got to be putting up a facade to get interviews.” Maybe some people are enjoying this build up. I don’t know how though. I’ll save more of those thoughts for a written preview because I know I can’t rope Jeremy into a match by match preview like we’ve done in years past. Let’s roll.

We’ve got a Shawn Michaels tease to start. I have to explain Paul Bearer to my woman. She hasn’t watched in a while. John Cena gets to start us off in the ring. She just told me that the crowd no sold Cena’s Johnson joke. Good for them. There’s just nothing new here. John, you don’t need to sell us on your win. There’s way too much money in a part III.

Okay, Jeremy warned me about the same old matches. Naturally, the first match is a rerun. Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show get to squash 3MB. The blank check joke from Lawler gets no sold by Cole & JBL. Good for them. Three finishers. The Shield starts walking down from the crowd. They get their promo time instead of ring time.

Jack Swagger & Zeb Colter are stopping traffic. I think. I definitely saw a biker go past them. My woman is unenthused about Wrestlemania already. We The People. Matt Striker might be an upgrade. Alberto Del Rio gives us the same speech he’s given before.

Dolph Ziggler doesn’t get an entrance because he’s not important. Daniel Bryan is taking him on. The match is occurring while I set the table again. I can’t remember though if it’s a tag team match or a six person at Wrestlemania. It’s a tag team match. The guys are putting on a good match in the mean time. If someone is surprised, they haven’t watched much wrestling. Dolph with the cheap roll up. Post match beat down by Big E Langston. The switch for him on Kane was a nice touch. Hey, two positive things!

Shawn Michaels gets to give us a Wrestlemania run down. He tells us about the three important matches. HHH interrupts him before he can go anywhere. Michaels got to skip the goofy part of the promo. He delivers a great promo. Brock Lesnar comes down but Paul Heyman does all of the talking. Another good build up. What the hell is going on, you’re blowing up my theory.

The Miz and Wade Barrett get a special match on Youtube and Facebook. The Miz is in the booth. Barrett gets to squash Zack Ryder. I feel bad for him even more. Ryder is adding muscle and he still isn’t getting anywhere. The WWE wouldn’t be on Youtube if it weren’t for him. Well, they’d probably would have gotten there but he sped things up. The Miz didn’t over do the suit today. Bull Hammer Elbow. Brad Maddox is talking to Vickie Guerrero. Santino gives us the news that Vince McMahon is in the arena. April Fool’s joke. I wasn’t even thinking about that possibility. Marella gets a match out of it.

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A Night With @RealMickFoley and the Reverend Bob Levy

I got down to Woodlands Tavern around 7:15 PM for a 7:30 show. It was crowded especially the patio with the weather being a balmy eighty-eight. I had been to Woodlands before for a comedy show, Amy Schumer. For that show, I had to wait in a line to get into the bar, which operates while the comedy show is in a sectioned off with a full wall. It’s a good set up to have drinking business and a captive audience. I would say that the comedy room fits about a hundred and fifty people. I had enough time and room to grab a Great Lakes Rally Drum Red Ale before heading into the comedy room.

Blake something or other was the warm up for the show. He wasn’t very funny. He wanted us to follow him on Twitter but I’m not going to. I’m not terribly funny but I’d think that if I’d been working for about five years (like he said he was), I’d be better than this guy. Things were not off to a good start. Blake introduced Mick Foley, who it should be mentioned was on all of the posters for the event. I’m not going to blow up his act because that’d be uncool. I will describe the generality of his act though. The majority of his set was based around wrestling, so if you hadn’t seen him in the ring, your perception of the show had to have been crippled. Foley isn’t a rapid fire joke guy. He’s more of a story telling, fit in the jokes kind of a comedian. The bad thing about that is that earlier today on Opie & Anthony, Jim Breuer was on. Breuer is the king of this line of comedy. He can turn an ordinary story into something extraordinary. Foley turned some fun situations into something funny. He was very interactive with the audience too. That can be a problem sometimes and tonight was one of those nights. I’ve been to other comedy shows out at the Funny Bone in Easton. I think every other crowd I’ve been with has been more responsive to the comedians than tonight’s crowd. Foley got little help in that department. Mick ended his set by doing an impromptu segment, or so he said so I don’t mind describing it in more detail. A Metallica tribute band called One was playing after the second show which started at 10:15 PM. Foley recreated how Lynyrd Skynyrd came to have the hit Sweet Home Alabama. It was very funny but the guy in front of me was the perfect example of the crowd not participating. Foley wanted the crowd to lap along while he fumbled thru three wrong headed attempts at a verse. The dude in front of me clapped for the first try then moved to lightly slapping the table to then not participating by the third failed attempt. Was it one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard? No. Was it entertaining enough to clap along? Certainly.

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Linda Hogan says Hulk banged Brutus Beefcake. Um, what?

Linda Hogan is a horrible bitch. Let’s just get this out of the way now. She literally did nothing with her life but sit around and be Hulk Hogan’s wife. Then she alleges abuse, depression, fear, bullying, blah, blah, blah. So she writes a book, “Wrestling the Hulk” and it tanks. So clearly she is desperate for attention and the appearances on Opie & Anthony and The Today Show have dried up. So what does she do, she goes on as a guest for the “Matty P’s Radio Happy Hour”.

On the show she says her source of “a little bird” told her that Hulk Hogan fucked Brutus Beefcake.  She was asked about The Ultimate Warrior’s comments on her being passed around to different wrestlers and she said she doesn’t know the Ultimate Warrior nor does she know his real name. She then went on to say she thought he was gay.

Clearly this hag has issues with gay people. She is trying to demonize people for their sexual preference. She is seemingly a true old school wrestler. If you are gay that makes you bad.

Here’s the real issue with all of this speculation; Brutus Beefcake isn’t good looking. If you are Hulk Hogan and you want to have sex with a male friend of yours why Brutus? Is he that much of a yes man you know he is an easy lay? Even then, couldn’t you find someone way more appealing that wanted the story to say they had some sort of contact with Hogan’s donger? -Jeremy

Cactus Poking His Wife

These Cactus Wrens are getting ready to mate.

Mick Foley was on Opie & Anthony yesterday and told some good stories, but nothing worth reporting. Today on the show, Gregg “Opie” Hughes mentioned something worthy of doing so. Off air yesterday, Foley said that him and his wife had a sex tape. Even though Foley is not willing to bring in the video evidence, he is proposing bringing in the audio portion for airing on O&A on Friday. It’ll be interesting to find out if Foley has a barbed wire bat of his own. Let’s just hope that Foley didn’t look up at the mirror above his bed to see a creepy Abyss staring and clapping like a fucktard at him and his wife ready for the hot tag. – Kevin

Thanks to Opie & Anthony for reporting the news on Sirius 197 and XM 202 6 AM-11AM Weekdays. Make sure to look below for Eric & I reviewing part of Raw too.

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