TNA Ready To Copy WWE Again

In Berlin from Streetartnews.com

In Berlin from Streetartnews.com

Just like yours truly, TNA saw the writing on the wall that Cody Rhodes was going to come up with another one trick pony gimmick, this time as Stardust. To combat this new angle and create their own, they decided to sign Matt Hardy. Matt is excited because he’s a one trick pony too. Unlike Cody Rhodes, he’s used only one gimmick his entire career. Matt is finally ready to reinvent himself though in his third go around in TNA. I’ve heard from sources that don’t exist that his new gimmick will be Madmartigan. He will help Willow retrieve a magical child who will banish Dixie Carter from TV. Carter will lock all of the Knockouts who are pregnant in Universal Studios. Madison Rayne’s midwife, ET, will aid in getting the child to Willow before being struck with diabetic shock from not eating enough Reese’s Pieces. Willow will meet Madmartigan, who is trapped by the evil Mummy, and get him out of his cage. Willow then entrusts Madmartigan with baby Claire. Madmartigan is attacked by Dixie’s general and his old rival (for the king of the mid-card in the WWE), MVP who takes Claire back to Dixie Carter. Just before Carter can banish Claire off of TV, Willow tricks Carter by making Claire disappear, like she was an employee at Universal Studios who didn’t want to put up with her own TV time any more. Carter then falls into her own spell that banishes her from TV. I can’t wait for this new Hardy reunion. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #254

Nerd Playing WOWJeremy & Kevin have recovered their voices from yelling at Wrestlemania and Raw last week in New Orleans. They talk about their experience in the Crescent City and somehow don’t cover all of the Sippy Time Beer that was consumed. They did consume a lot of drinks on Saturday night though. Who got them a grain alcohol shot? What did he promise them? How good was scene at the Chicken Shack after a night of drinking? What did their hotel neighbor add at the end of the night? Where does New Orleans rank against Detroit, Orlando and Atlanta? What made it different? Is it the reason we saw so many Superstars? Raw had a boisterous crowd but what made it different from this week’s Raw? Was the crowd as different as the stories being told? Is it good for Evolution to be back together? Will they have good matches with the Shield? When should HHH wrestle? What did Jeremy think of the Ultimate Warrior tribute? Why did Kevin plead ignorant on the situation? They end on a down note by talking about Eric Young winning the TNA Heavyweight Championship. How correct was Dusty when he wrote this article? Does ROH have more viable candidates to come to the WWE than TNA right now? Find out the answer to these questions and more when you click on the link below!

Amy Weber Nude, Iowa vs Michigan, Knee Injury & Hurricane Sandy Aftermath

I couldn’t find the real deal so I borrowed from TMZ permanently.

According to TMZ, Amy Weber has released nude photos because her lap top was stolen. They were from a Playboy shoot that never made it into the sticky pages under my mattress. You might remember her from her role in JBL’s Cabinet. I had to look it up on Wikipedia to make sure one of my Sippy Time Beers hadn’t dislodged a memory of an average WWE Diva.

According to Derrick Bateman’s Twitter (by way of Prowrestling.net) he is out for an undisclosed amount of time because of another knee surgery. I bring him up because he was signed away from then Pro Wrestling Ohio about five years ago. I haven’t seen him much so I won’t critique his work but isn’t five years enough to know if a guy will cut it or not in the WWE? I know it takes a while to learn the ropes but the time frame seems like plenty. If only the WWE had enough TV time to find a spot for him when he got healthy.

Master thief Joel Luke pleaded guilty to fifth degree theft for swiping the TNA Title and thus bringing great shame to the state of Iowa. He will get two years of probation. If only he could have waited for TNA’s next trip through the state for such an opportunity. He could have stolen the new Jeff Hardy Belt and done all wrestling fans around the country a favor. Yes, even those fans that clearly spend money only on Munchos and Cheez Whiz with backpacks full of Faygo but still have enough government assistance left over to drive to Orlando from Michigan just to see that garbage company.

For those of you concerned about your Friday viewing habits because of NBC’s coverage of a Superstorm Sandy benefit concert, don’t worry, be happy. As of now, you can watch replays of one third of Raw and an hour of Smackdown starting at it’s regularly scheduled 8 PM time slot. -Kevin

Hulk Hogan helps lung transplant patient enjoy multiple days of his Hulkamania-blessed life

Just teasing, Hulk Hogan loves his fans.

(Update, 8/31: Wow, somehow this post has leapt in “popularity” in the past 12 hours. I invite everyone to read the comments that have already been posted before you recommend I commit suicide in front of a video camera. I don’t need to be told twice! Also, I understand Hogan actually met with the Hafeleins, which surprises me given Hogan’s busy schedule of telling everyone he was Lars Ulrich’s first choice as Metallica’s bassist. Congratulations to the Hafeleins, and kudos for your courage.)

According to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan is helping pro wrestling fan Jason Hafelein of Midland, Michigan, cross one particular item off his bucket list: to meet the Hulkster in person. Hafelein recently underwent a double lung transplant, which his body is rejecting, and since he can’t fly due to the air pressure, he, his wife, and his respiratory therapist plan to drive from Michigan to meet Hogan. Please watch the video of his story here: http://www.redlasso.com/?p=467504

(Edited for content.)

The Architecture of Wrestling: Wrestlemania Set Design Part I

My picture of the set for Wrestlemania 24 in Orlando.

Most Wrestlemania set designs revolve around local or nearby architectural designs. The picture above from Orlando took cues from the Art Deco designs of Miami. If you have access to the PWTorch.com message board, you can follow this link for that break down and visuals on how this set mimics Art Deco. I am going to speculate on what style the WWE will borrow in the Atlanta area to design this year’s set.

According to the Atlanta Architectural Style Guide, there are five distinct styles from the area – Queen Anne (a derivative of the Victorian style), American Colonial, Neo-Classical, Craftsman and Neo-Mediterranean. As an addition, I’m going to look at some of the Modern designed buildings that have cropped up recently. So I’m heading for a six part column. Nail yourself down for architectural analysis.

I’m going to start with the Queen Anne style to stay in the order listed above. The Queen Anne style is mostly found around the Inman Park and Grant Park areas. The style guide (and Wikipedia) goes on to note the dominant features of the building style. See the picture below as I go through the points.

The Queen Anne style Victorian in the Grant Park area of Atlanta, GA.

The first features are an asymmetrical facade. The facade is the face of the building which is usually the side of the building facing the main street. The asymmetrical part comes from the round (sometimes square) tower often with an ornate spindle. To offset the tower, there is a dominant gabled roof mirrored around the tower. Even though a tree obscures the view of the left gable, under both of them one can see the oriel windows which have a flat face and 45 degree walls which help make the gables look like they are projecting. Below the tower is the main entrance which is covered by a porch. This porch stretches from oriel window to oriel window. Because the tower terminates at the porch, it minimizes it’s verticality even though the walls below match those of tower. Those elements are the main size elements to this style of building. Below I’ll go through some of the detail work.

The easiest to see is the varying textures on the exterior. On the oriel windows, there is wood siding that runs horizontally. Above the horizontal banding are yellow relief panels. They are relief panels because of the raised design on them. On the tower, they use shingles that are scalloped to look like fish scales. To fancy up the porch, they use columns that spread at the top to support a band of leaded glass work that has a gold diamond and trim at the top and bottom. In between the bottom of the columns is a fence that is normally called spindle work because of the design that is hard to see in this picture.

A close up of spindles in the Queen Anne style.

The one last element be addressed is the monumental chimney that is just off the left of the tower. The flair at the top of the chimeny helps to add extra, well, flair to an already tall chimney.

Analysis: I don’t think there is any way that the WWE would want to make a set based around this style of architecture. It has very interesting elements but it’s more work in the details than there is in the size much like the Art Deco designs at the top of article. The WWE tends to simply the design that they are copying and there isn’t a very good way to simply this style and make sure everyone knows what it is. Anything with an asymmetrical design is also another problem point. I have reviewed a lot of shirts for the WWE in the past and many of their shirts that were asymmetrical were terrible. It’s tough to balance something that is inherently unbalanced. It takes a delicate hand and that is again not a strong suit of the WWE. Big cartoony characters, big cartoony set designs. This style is out. Let’s move on to the next one: American Colonial. – Kevin

WWE Hall of Fame, Undertaker surgery, Bret Hart’s shades, Lacey leaves TNA… some of this is news

Lacey Von Erich

Old news is good news.

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE is seeking proposals from cities across the country and around the world and as close to those marks in Orlando as possible to host a physical WWE Hall of Fame. They’re asking public, private and government entities to submit their proposals, but according to a WWE source,

“WWE is in the very preliminary stages of evaluating this opportunity, and we have nothing further to report at this time.”

Oh, well go fuck yourself then. In the meantime, everyone go to http://www.wrestlingmuseum.org and check out a hall of fame that already exists and is awesome.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Undertaker finally underwent rotator cuff surgery last week, which shelves the normal human being for 4-6 months. Of course, Undertaker is an Old West zombie, so he’ll be back for WrestleMania (which, for you math wizards is 4 months and 3 weeks away, totally do-able, even for Undertaker, who’s so fragile his T-shirts say, “This Side Up”).

Let’s see, what other old news is at Prowrestling.net… oh yeah, speaking of broken-down old men, Bret Hart’s ring jacket and shades were stolen from ringside at a live event in Germany. A) He’s a legend in Germany, so this should come as no surprise. B) He could always come back to the hall of fame in Waterloo, Iowa (www.wrestlingmuseum.org) and take back the jacket he donated. C) I’d love to see Old Man Hart run after the kid who stole that stuff; it would look like his slow-motion training video before WrestleMania XII, plus he’d spend the whole time yelling about, “You dern kids!”

I’ll end on this one for now: According to Prowrestling.net, Lacey Von Erich has parted ways with TNA. I’m not going to quote her, because I’d rather get straight to the joke about how her left leg should agree to part ways with her right leg and make room for me. -Eric -Jeremy

%d bloggers like this: