TNA takes on Ohio Valley Wrestling as developmental territory; Mike Mondo may finally make the big-time!!

Yep, *that* OVW.

According to Prowrestling.net, TNA has adopted Ohio Valley Wrestling as a developmental territory, taking tomorrow’s stars and turning them into today’s food-stamp collectors. According to a press release, wait a minute, TNA sends out press releases? Since when does TNA have the savvy to buy a licensed version of Microsoft Word? I figured Jeremy Borash was still sending Morse code like he did as a DJ in Fort Dodge, Iowa.

Anyway, Ohio Valley Wrestling, the former WWF/WWE developmental territory once known for being the breeding ground for future superstars like John Cena, Randy Orton and Brock Lesnar will surely now cough up inevitable wastes of space like That Guy With the Rat Tail, Two Fat Guys Acting As Jeff Jarrett’s Security, and The Slightly Taller But Embarrassingly Skinnier Matt Morgan-Alike. To call OVW a “breeding ground” when the WWE machine was behind it would be accurate; with TNA’s brain power, this is more like a puppy mill. Have you ever seen a retarded soft-coated wheaton terrier? It’s heart-breaking. Get ready for plenty of that, Thursday nights on Spike. -Eric

WWE Turfs DJ Gabriel

He's the one wearing glasses.

According to Jason Powell at prowrestling.net, WWE just turfed DJ Gabriel (aka Steve Lewington, aka Guy You Probably Didn’t Know Was Still With The Company). He’s another shit or get off the pot guy for WWE, meaning that he was in developmental for way too long, and if you can’t figure out what to do with him, you might as well just release him and get on with your life. (Following along in a great tradition that includes Colt Cabana and Low Ki.)

He’s a solid worker, not great or anything, but decent enough to be useful somewhere. Since he dates back to Cornette era OVW, perhaps he will land on his feet in ROH. They certainly have to be looking to beef up their once mighty roster, so all is not lost for the forgotten one. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Decade-End Awards: Dusty’s Picks

This picture is lying to you. Find out who the real winners are by reading below.

The older I get, the more I question why I still hang around with wrestling. Wrestling is the old friend who betrays your trust time and time again, but you keep forgiving him because of all the great times you had together 20 years ago. You keep giving him more and more chances, and he keeps letting you down. This was a snoozer decade at best for our old friend, but I’ll try to find the cream of the crap anyway, or else I wouldn’t have a column.

BEST WRESTLER

Shawn Michaels: I like the Shawn Michaels of the 2000s almost as much as I dislike the Shawn Michaels of the 1990s. After a five year sabbatical, Michaels came back and basically reinvented the wheel. No longer would he be the Mexican jumping bean doing highspots with no discernible psychology, being a bad influence for a decade’s worth of indy wrestlers (1990s Shawn Michaels is to wrestling what Led Zeppelin is to music). He now works smart *and* hard, and has provided us with a full palate of memorable and exciting matches and storylines. I would spend many a minute arguing that this Shawn Michaels is the best wrestler ever, no matter what the decade.

Runners-up: Kurt Angle (A sad case if ever there was one, a guy who couldn’t keep his shit together outside the ring, and who couldn’t turn the corner inside the ring to take his work to the next level. As it stands however, he’s still head and shoulders above most everybody else from the decade, and was TNA’s biggest squandered opportunity.) John Cena (The best wrestlers draw the most money, so whether you like him or you hate him, the Marine belongs on this list. He is probably the most identifiable wrestler of the past decade for the casual or non-fan. That means something.)

BEST TAG TEAM

MNM: The ascension of MNM is sort of like the Stone Roses at their heyday. For a very brief period of time, they were the absolute best, and if you weren’t around to witness it, you probably wouldn’t believe it. They were fresh, they were new, they were hip, they were young, they were beautiful, they could talk, they could work, Melina was hot, and they put the world on its ear. And just as quickly as it happened, it ended. You just had to be there, man.

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Sim Snuka Released!!!!!

sim snuka

Sweet Georgia Brown, Sim Snuka has been released by WWE as well. Who is this, well, I have no idea.

Wait, I vaguely remember him in OVW as Douche Shade or was it Deuce? Whatever his name was it stunk and so did he. Okay some more of this is coming back to me now. He then showed up on Smackdown as one half of some lame tag-team gimmick and then disappeared. If I am correct he went to Raw as a jobber and then got with Manu, also gone by the way, and fought with Legacy or something.

You know, I put way too much thought in to this. He’s gone. Life moves on.  -Jeremy

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