John Cena needs to shut the fuck up

Dr-Rockso-metalocalypse-737334_807_704

In light of Major League Baseball player Ryan Braun’s recent steroid suspension, John Cena has taken his plight against reason and common sense to Twitter. First with this:

Also hats off to @MLB for putting their foot down against PEDs @SportsCenter @ESPN looks like more headlines on horizon.

And then with this:

Wow PEDs are quite the topic, lots of Qs 1 tweet will clear it up,yes @MLB some action>none, I am LIFETIME drug free

And then this:

Remember ladies and gents ‘there is NO substitute for hard work!’ It’s a nice CLEAN snatch!!! pic.twitter.com/6GdSPzqJn0

Which was accompanied by this picture:

BP3-YKzCIAAf4AO

So yeah. Basically Cena needs to shut his fat yapper before he attracts any attention to the fact that drug free probably does *not* start with he. There certainly exist some pictures online from the ghost of Prototype’s past that would seem to suggest “lifetime” does not now mean what I once thought it did. Any Raw now we’re going to see his veiny drug free arms popping out of a DARE shirt, shades of Boy George. – Dusty

Carlito Gone? That’s Not Cool!

Even Cena can't believe this one.

From wwe.com:

WWE Superstar Carlito (Carlos Colon) has been released from his World Wrestling Entertainment contract as of today May 21, 2010. Carlito’s termination was due to his first violation of the WWE Wellness Program and his subsequent refusal to attend a rehabilitation facility.

So I suspect this is more a case of where the person is taking performance enhancing drugs not to enhance their performance, but rather because they do not give a shit. At all. On the Mr. Brightside of things, Carlito can now shuffle on over to TNA, and become their eight million billionth roster member. – Dusty

EDITED TO ADD: It just now occurred to me that John Cena looks like Ashton Kutcher after a steroid sandwich. That dirty fucking hobo is supposed to be the best wrestler going right now. Jesus fucking Christ.

%d bloggers like this: