Stunt Granny Audio: OHPA 4

Ken and Kevin are back and Kevin actually remembers to say the name of the show. If you didn’t get the reference to the show name before now, it’s plainly explained. We then go back to our roots in Altoona PA to talk about their ridiculous accent because of an article on Slate.com. How many accents are in Pennsylvania? Have they heard ones other than their Pittsburgh accent and the other big one from Philly? Where is the dividing line for these two major accents? How good of an example of it is the clip above from the Kroll Show? Kevin was in for a rude awakening when he went to Kent State. What factoid did he learn about the Cleveland accent while he was there? Ken spent his college years at Penn State. How much did he hear the Philly accent? Have they both lost their accents since moving to Columbus? They didn’t prepare a second segment so Ken quickly finds an article on the World Recording Setting Beer Mile run by James Nielsen. How ridiculous is this concept? How does it compare to an Hour of Power, which Ken and Kevin have both done? How did Kevin feel after drinking a beer and then playing indoor soccer? What beer did Ken supply that ends up becoming the #SippyTimeBeer of the week? Find out when you click the link below!

Shahid’s Blog: Cracked Glasses of Nostalgia – An Adult’s Walk Down ECW’s Memory Lane

ecw I remembered being depressed after moving from Philadelphia to Atlantic City during my high school years.  Separated from my family, friend and comfortable surroundings for a dump of a coastal city was a jarring experience.  WWF wasn’t helping either – Friar Ferguson and Beverly Bros/Money Inc main event matches would turn any smile upside down.  On a random Thursday evening, I stumbled upon a new wrestling promotion.  Gritty, small, loud and realistic, it instantly drew me in.  Regardless of the fact that I was watching a plodding match featuring Tully Blanchard, I was enchanted by the promos, violence and music of what was known as Eastern Championship Wrestling.  I can vividly recall talking to like minded individuals about how ECW was actually real, instead of that scripted crap of the WWF.  Seeing Sandman, a fat drunkard with a cigarette with Woman or Missy Hyatt on his arm just seemed authentic on some visceral level.  Hearing adult promos from Cactus Jack, Steve Austin and Shane Douglas made WCW and WWF seem quaint and childish.  State of the art matches from Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho,  Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit…..violent brawls from the Public Enemy, the Pitbulls, Terry Funk….Sabu vs Taz…Raven terrorizing Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman…..sexy females with scant clothing and even less decorum.  ECW was a teenager’s dream.  Hearing the Gangstas come out to Natural Born Killers to engage in a blood bath made a Bret Hart match seem boring as can be.  I can remember waking up at 1 am to watch an ECW episode consisting of a pissed off Steve Austin just spitting venom at Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes and WCW.  In a pre screw job, pipe bomb, real name era, it was as if someone had a peephole behind the magic rasslin curtain.  By the time they invaded Monday Night Raw to promote their first PPV, I was a full-fledged ECW acolyte.

Now, I’m sure there are many individuals in my age group that share similar joyous memories of ECW.  Even with One Night Stand and a brief resurgence led by Paul Heyman, it still felt hollow and empty, missing that rebellious fire of the 90s.  So when the WWE Network arrived, ECW was the first area delved into, due to an adolescent fondness. Even though it lacked the music and didn’t have the weekly shows, I was excited to see how well it held up.  So I watched a few ppvs and weekly shows and then watched a few more.  I tried jumping around during various time periods, hoping to shake this nagging sensation.  After a week of watching, I had to admit to myself that ECW, like many teenage passions, didn’t age well.

I won’t use revisionist history and proclaim ECW an overrated vanity project and minor league system.  It was enjoyable and revolutionary, and I will always cherish those teenage memories.  But watching it now is borderline painful.  Seeing the Sandman no longer brings feelings of awe and admiration. Now, I witness a slovenly bum who was a perfect example of smoke and mirrors.  Instead of rooting for the underdog story of Mikey Whipreck, I scoffed at the notion that he could ever beat Steve Austin in a match (side note – him pinning Austin killed any notion that ECW wasn’t predetermined).  I can understand the reasoning and logic behind pushing individuals like Tommy Dreamer and Justin Credible, instead of superior talent such as Chris Benoit and Rob Van Dam.  But as a fan today, I have little tolerance of watching Eddie Guerrero in the midcard, for fear of being snatched away by WCW and WWF.  For all of the wonderful long term angles pulled off by ECW, there were too many instances of inconsistent referees, match stipulations, and haphazard PPV’s.  If WWE tried to pull the ol “Let’s announce two matches, and we’ll work out the rest of the details later” style of booking, they would get crucified. I almost forget, they did try that…it was called December to Dismember, and it was universally panned.

The biggest issue with ECW is the same factor which added to its popularity – the extreme violence.  Seeing someone kick out from a power bomb through a flaming table with thumbtacks, only to get rolled up due to seeing the 34DD’s of Francine seems asinine today.  The constant one-upping of finishing moves led to many negative habits, not only by ECW, but by WCW and WWF. WCW was rightfully mocked for taking the piss out of ECW concepts, featuring hardcore matches with cotton candy used as a weapon.  But as an adult, I prefer that approach more so than WWF, which raised the bar to an extremely dangerous level i.e. Hell in a Cell with Undertaker-Mankind, and the myriad TLC matches.  Classic events, but considering the mark left on many of the individuals, something that is watched with trepidation.  But nothing makes me cringe more than the chair shots to the head.  When I first saw Tommy Dreamer plaster Raven square in his hipster face, I remember screaming like a girl at a Bobby Brown concert.  But after current knowledge of concussions and long term damage, I can’t help but cringe. I won’t even touch upon the menace known as New Jack (that’s a column for another day.)

As far as the adult content, what seemed risqué as a teenager comes off as misogynistic and trashy today.  Shane Douglas cussing every 3rd word makes him come off as an uncouth doofus. For every great promo from Raven or Cactus jack, there was some nonsense from the Pitbulls, or some foul mouthed diatribe from Rhino. And it wasn’t restricted to the wrestlers – hearing an arena full of angry men chanting crack whore or she has herpes doesn’t seem cool anymore.  I’m definitely not a prude, and I specifically remember the eye candy of ECW very fondly.  Between Beulah, Missy Hyatt, Woman, Francine and Dawn Marie, ECW definitely upped the sex appeal factor from the almost quaint days of Missy Hyatt and Sunny.  Today – well, seeing a skinny broad with some silicone enhancements taking a pile driver just seems unclean.  Any doubts to ECW being a mainstream entertainment vehicle vanished with my wife’s utter look of disgust after hearing a Dudley Boys promo.  My “it was a different era, baby”  didn’t hold much weight.

Regardless of my experience, I’m very grateful for the opportunity to traverse down memory lane with a more mature point of view.  ECW will always have a fond place in my heart, and I am grateful and cognizant of its effect on professional wrestling.  However, next time someone complains about Vince’s asinine booking and longs for the halcyon days of Paul Heyman, gently remind them that Steve Corino and Justin Credible were ECW World Champions, but Rob Van Dam and Stunning Steve Austin weren’t. And then tape their expressions for YouTube. -Shahid

Weekend Rewind – Ted DiBiase, Batista, Sandman and Oklahoma

trader_after_busy_weekend– Let’s start off the weekend news with two birthday wishes. One for Batista who will be coming back to Raw as a forty-five year old. Ted DiBiase, Sr. turned sixty years old. Congrats on hitting the big Six-0. I can’t wait for Batista to show up on Old School Raw in fifteen years, looks as large as Vince McMahon did at that age and gives the double guns salute to the newest WWE superstar, Ted DiBiase III.

Sandman is set to fight former WBC & WBA Tim Witherspoon for the World Extreme Entertainment Champion. I don’t think there’s going to much entertainment with two fifty plus year olds fighting. I wonder if Sandman will get to use his Singapore cane since it’s “extreme”. I doubt even the use of it would even things up. It’s made even more sad considering that the owner Damon Feldman had previously run the Celebrity Boxing shows. Since this is taking place in Philadelphia, you know the crowd will be ready to chant “You’ve still got it” to both the Sandman and Witherspoon when they don’t get gassed out  after the first minute of action.

Sonjay Dutt shut down the independent Omni Wrestling in Sperry, Oklahoma when him and his opponent Michael Wolf went into the crowd. A representative of the Oklahoma State Athletic Commission stopped it because going into the crowd is a violation of their rules. Good for Oklahoma, they got this one right. TNA doesn’t trust Sonjay Dutt enough to employ him full time so I certainly don’t want him performing maneuvers near me. I’m also sure that Michael Wolf has impeccable in ring skills. Let’s keep it in the ring where you can only do damage to the yourselves and the referee. – Kevin

Thanks to Prowrestling.net for the news as usual.

#SippyTimeBeer Review – Goose Island, Otto’s and Yard’s

Ottos Hefeweizen Growler

I went back to Pennsylvania back to back weekends to close out April so my weekend writing time was severely limited. My time to drink was not hindered though. Because this week is American Craft Beer week, I will list in chronological order the beers I had and milk this trip for all it’s worth with two different posts.

Otto’s Pub & BreweryHefeweizen – My older brother Ron is also a big fan of Otto’s. He normally has his sister-in-law will buy him a growler and he ends up paying her when they meet up. Since I was there, he had me do the picking up while our parents did the delivering for my nieces dance recital on a later weekend. I picked up two growlers of Hefeweizen. It was a solid beer but was not as crisp and refreshing as most types I’ve tried. If you don’t like the cinnamon and/or nutmeg that are usually put into this type of beer, you will like it because it is not as forward.

Goose Island BrewingSummertime – This beer was so important, I didn’t even Instagram a picture of it. I do remember it being solid. I’ll have to try it again soon for a proper review. Since it’s obviously a seasonal beer, I’ll have to do that soon.

Yards Gen Washington Porter

Yard’s Brewing CompanyGeneral Washington Porter – According to their website, this style of porter was inspired from one of Washington’s original beer recipes that mimicked Philadelphia style porters of the time. Good to know they brewed good beer back then. I remember this porter having one thing in common with Atwater’s Vanilla Java Porter, it was kind of thin. I did like it better though. The bitter coffee taste was not as forward and may have been because of the chocolate providing some sweetness. I didn’t taste the chocolate much either.

The Breckenridge Amber Ale was the best of the six but I closed things strong with the Yard’s General Washington Porter. Go celebrate American Craft Beer week. -Kevin

Just Rub One Out And Be Done With It, You Freaking D-Bag

In our ongoing effort to provide you up to the minute Randy Savage news, we turn to our old friend Jason Powell:

There is an ad on Philadelphia’s version of Craigslist for a man who wants to dress up like Randy “Macho Man” Savage and perform a variety of his signature wrestling moves on a woman dressed up like Elizabeth. The man even claims to have purchased several Elizabeth style dresses.”The job is as follows,” reads the listing. “I will be dressed and acting as Macho Man Randy Savage and you will be acting as Miss Elizabeth. I come out to ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ and once I’m done entering the ring we will improvise an argument. You will slap me across the face and then I will [perform various wrestling moves]…

“Don’t worry about getting hurt. I have been practicing on a dummy and I have made a ring in my basement with 4 mattresses and ropes. You are also allowed to bring any amount of people with you to watch the show so you feel safe. They are allowed to make signs and cheer along to add to the match’s atmosphere.” To read the listing, visit Philadelphia.Craigslist.org. [Thanks to the Dot Net reader who sent this item]

Powell’s POV: He’s been practicing on a dummy in his basement!!! The guy is willing to pay $500 in most cases, but up to $1,000 to women who look like Elizabeth. If any readers take him up on the offer, I would love to be one of the people who accompany you so that I can bring signs like “Depraved Horny Loser,” “Castration Candidate,” and “Just Rub One Out And Be Done With It, You Freaking D-Bag.” Please let this air via online pay-per-view.

I used to wrestle the couch cushions at home when I was a kid. I never dressed like Randy Savage while doing it, though. I had a Ric Flair robe, baby! WOOOOOOOOOOO! – Dusty

%d bloggers like this: