Katching up with Kurt Angle: TNA star, police weigh in on his blood alcohol content

“Eeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh…..”

According to Prowrestling.net, Kurt Angle was arrested Sunday morning in Warren County, Va., and charged with driving under the influence. (Christ, you could set your watch to Angle’s drunken antics.) Angle went on to say that he’d plead not guilty to the charges because he claims his blood alcohol content was 0.06. However, the police (and who trusts them, anyway?) had this to say, according to the Northern Virginia Daily:

The wrestler’s first test, conducted at the scene of the traffic stop near Linden, came back above the legal limit of 0.08. On a second test at the Front Royal police headquarters Sunday morning, Angle blew a 0.06, according to state police.

A report filed by Trooper C.R. Scally also stated that Angle failed several field sobriety tests.

Hmmm, I’m never sure who to believe in these cases, the police who are hired to protect and serve us (but occasionally beat us unmercifully when we get out of control or aren’t white), or Kurt Angle, who celebrates a full moon by getting pilled up, pulled over and tossed in jail for half the night. Furthermore, this happened in northern Virginia, where people on a nightly basis drink half a jug of moonshine labeled “XXX,” then go out driving in their General Lee trying to run from Boss Hogg. Cops’ Judgment: 1, Kurt Angle’s Habitually Poor Judgment: 0. -Eric

Kurt Angle wants to try out for the Olympics. The real, summer Olympics

Don't quit your day job. But keep up your night life! Especially if there are cameras around! Damn!

According to Prowrestling.net, Kurt Angle recently told TV station KTAE that he wants to try out for the 2012 Olympics. Jason Powell quotes Angle:

“It’s not just this old man trying to lash out to get publicity,” Angle said.

Right. Kurt Angle, who has licensed his name to some shitty company called Angle Foods and turned that into his Twitter handle; who lashes out against people on Twitter and then, once the pills go down, recants his statements and claims someone hacked him; who used to frequently badmouth his old employer, the much more successful WWE,  until anyone in the press would pick up on it; and who did this “I want to try out for the Olympics” thing at least one other time in the past eight years (notwithstanding his feeble threats to shuffle his broken-down body into MMA), isn’t saying this for publicity. Yeah, and my name isn’t Rhaka Khan. -Eric

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