Stunt Granny Audio #258

Malkin-meets-Putin-thumb

Vladimir Putin is not impressed by Evgeni Malkin. From penguins.nhl.com.

We’re back with an audio show about wrestling. How about that? Who is we though? Well, it’s Kevin and Shahid after a few technical difficulties. The list of topics was so simple that they kept on running into each other. They started off with the easiest topic, Daniel Bryan being stripped of the WWE Title. Who does the WWE give the title to? John Cena? Randy Orton? After those two, the WWE roster gets pretty thin at the top since CM Punk left and Daniel Bryan out due to injury. Would the WWE bring in Brock Lesnar to be champion? Why is Paul Heyman still touting him at every turn if he doesn’t come back for a shot he said he wanted before Wrestlemania? How awkward would it be if they decided to give the strap to Heyman’s other client, Cesaro? Would any of the young guys like Cesaro be considered? The WWE is giving us plenty of Rusev, so does he have a chance? Will Lana ever order him to “Crush” someone other than black gentlemen and Zack Ryder on the roster? Would the WWE give the title to Seth Rollins?  Speaking of Rollins, how good was his promo? How about Dean Ambrose? Last but not least, Roman Reigns? Or is he least? Would Ronda Rousey fit in with the Shield? Does the WWE give Ambrose & Reigns a third person or will they split up after this feud concludes? Because this is the first wrestling show in a while, Kevin & Shahid don’t conclude until they’ve answered all of these questions and more. Click on the link below to figure out those answers!

Stunt Granny Lunch Convo – Seth Rollins/Batista/Daniel Bryan/CM Punk

Benedict Arnold

Kevin:  I’m currently shaking my head at the news that the Pens actually interviewed Pierre McGuire.

Jeremy:  Please please please please
Kevin:  My descent into madness didn’t quite happen with 3 ours of Raw. It definitely would happen then.
Jeremy:  Was a long show but I actually liked the ending.
Kevin:  I was surprised. Second time in a couple of months. Not a bad record for the WWE.
Jeremy:  I love the bitching about it too. “IT MAKES NO SENSE!” Well nothing was explained yet and really it can be explained pretty easy.
I think it is the right guy too. Everyone expects Ambrose to be a heel but Seth was the baby of the baby face group.
Kevin:  My revision note today said it makes sense if Rollins believes HHH will keep coming at them. I’m sure they’re tired of facing the entire roster on an every other week basis.
Jeremy:  That and also the easy way is money. There is a trust factor there with Batista’s treatment but that can be explained easy as well.
Kevin:  Do you think Batista comes back sooner rather than later then?
Jeremy:  He is filming a movie so it is later. he came back at the total wrong time. It was botched form the beginning and notice his best work was at the end of his run. His dropping the mic and waving by was classic.
Kevin:  You can only blame so much on Punk leaving. Batista was great after he turned.
Jeremy:  Punk had nothing to do with how Batista was introduced and then used though. Inserting him and having him win the Rumble was a mistake. Having him come out and hug the heel Authority was a mistake. He also returned in the middle of the fans push for Daniel Bryan. If he came back now as a heel it would have worked better.
Kevin:  It’s still just a weird time for the WWE to cave to the DB audience too. After Batista wins the Rumble. I’ve seen them power thru other crowd movements.
Jeremy:  They have never had a crowd that I can remember at least, crap on a PPV, especially a main PPV like the Rumble before though. Then it carried over. Punk quitting had a good deal to do with it as well. One popular guy just disappears and then the one remaining is not being set up the way your vocal fans want to see.
Kevin:  I’d so take that drama over the Total Divas stuff. I don’t think we’ll be seeing that any time soon. I’d have loved the filming of the writing room.

Jeremy:  Writing room would never happen but an all access docu-series would be pretty incredible. Could also be WWE career suicide as well.
Kevin:  Career appears to mean one person in particular. Do you mean for the company? Considering we eventually got the full word on The Montreal Screw Job, I think we’ll get this story, eventually.
Jeremy:  As it pertains to a real docu-series without the Total Divas manipulation could be career suicide. Even if the footage doesn’t make air if anything derogatory is said or implied you think the bosses wouldn’t have an issue with the person?
Kevin:  You’re saying someone is going to make a docu-series. Who is this person? I’m not clear on that. I already said that career implies a single person. My suggestion is that 10-20 years down the road, everyone that’s still alive sits down and talks about what happened during this time period under a WWE productions setting.
Jeremy:  OK we went two different directions. I thought you wanted to see a series without the glamor of a reality show. You were talking about the Punk story specifically. Yeah that will happen for sure. No way around it but it will probably contain 60% of the truth.
Kevin:  Better than what we’re getting now. Getting back to Batista, why exactly did he come back when he did? Did he not have this film on the docket already? If it was, it seems like a bad plan for him to challenge for the WWE Title even with as big as his name is. He’s not Rock big enough that you can give him the strap and let him film movies with it.
Jeremy:  If you look at it he was in for a few months, fulfills some of his dates and then gets away form TV for a while to do a movie. It is the same as Brock but without the movie. it added another big name to Wrestlemania and should have given someone a bump from defeating him. I never imagined him being champion though. He would have dropped it off before going to make Wrong Side of Town 2.
Kevin:  So is that the movie that Batista is going to tape? Because I don’t follow his film career.

Jeremy:  No idea. What I gave you was a fake sequel to one of his earlier flicks,
Kevin:  It sounded terrible enough to be on his plate. Completely missed your point about him being similar to Brock. That’s another reason I find it weird they put him into that spot of winning the Rumble.
Jeremy:  yeah I am not sure if they expected people to cheer vigorously for him t beat Randy? he left as a very strong and disliked heel all those years ago. So I am not sure why that would be expected
Kevin:  We’ve seen the fan demo change before after a long absence. I always think back to Edge coming back. Of course, he got turned back heel in short order too.
Jeremy:  Edge did make come backs as a heel though but the majority were short lived baby face ” glad to see ya” pops
Kevin:  Maybe that’s why the WWE thinks we won’t remember story lines, they don’t remember what happens to their own talents.
Jeremy:  It really is their M.O. though. No one will remember so do it anyway
Kevin:  Anything else to cover over the Rollins turn? We’ve barely talked about him after starting with him.
Jeremy:  This has to be seen as the best opportunity he will get. Reigns was the obvious breakout star supposedly. Ambrose has showed that he will be a good antagonist and can bump.
Seth Rollins was the odd man out. he never got the hype the other two had. Teaming with Triple H and Randy Orton is huge.
Kevin:  I agree that he has somewhere to go now. I can see how people would think the Shield still has some legs in it but I’m not sure how. They’ve picked on all the big guys, did a feud with the Wyatts and finished with Evolution. What else can the group really do? Reigns isn’t going back into a tag team.
Jeremy:  The only thing they had left was to finally defeat The Wyatts. But now Harper and Rowan are in a program with the Usos so that wasn’t going to happen. Breaking The Shield up now provided that shocking moment WWE needed. Until Daniel Bryan can get going they had to do something to gain a stronger interest.
Kevin:  Fair enough point on the Wyatts being defeated but they also can’t do it if Wyatt keeps up the MIA status, which I agree with.
Jeremy:  Yes so split em up and you have three singles, over and established performers.
Kevin:  I’m ready to wrap up this convo and wait to see what the WWE does with the trio from the Shield.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live’ Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

From Street Fighter the movie.

From Street Fighter the movie.

So I had to laugh that the first pay per view I could have watched on the WWE Network, last night’s Extreme Rules, ended up being a side show that I couldn’t do a post on because the Pittsburgh Penguins were playing the New York Rangers. Of course I’d have something else to watch when this PPV was on. I did keep an eye on the final four matches while watching the game but that didn’t give me a good feel for them. Since the Network has the ability to watch said PPV as soon as it is over, I did just that last night, this morning and at lunch to play catch up. Now I’ve got to play catch up on Raw with another game on tap tonight. Let’s see how far I can get before the 3rd period starts.

Dean Ambrose has to win a 20 Man Battle Royal to retain his US Title. Of course, JBL agrees (Next Day Note: I had ends in there. Wow. Brutal error.) this dumb decision. Jerry Lawler makes it worse by agreeing with JBL on battle royals being exciting. They’re not until there are 4 people left which is essentially a tag team match. Mitchell Cool is busying driving home the point that The Authority set up this match to weigh in. Three times in the opening three minutes isn’t quite enough because our attention spans are a maximum of sixty seconds. Big Show spanked Heath Slater who acted like Show got some taint. A segment. No surprise. Back after the game goes to overtime or is over. My boy Dolph Ziggler gets eliminated by Cobra. Yuck. Ryback, Curtis Axel, Sheamus, Jack Swagger & Dean Ambrose are alive. Axel gets back dropped out of the ring by Ambrose. It was silly that Ambrose won the slugfest with Ryback (on the ring apron). Good low drop kick to eliminate him though. Ambrose wiggles out of being tossed to eliminate Swagger. Sheamus nails Ambrose with a Brogue Kick. Sheamus tosses him to win the US Title. Not even Sheamus can bring prestige back to that belt without consistent defenses and being featured. HHH comes out after Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns try to calm Ambrose down. He announces a match between the Shield vs the Wyatt Family. How many times can we go to this well? I’m sure I’ll enjoy the match though.

Renee Young gets to interview Sheamus. He admitted that things haven’t gone as he’d have liked since returning from injury. He tells Dean Ambrose to have no hard feelings. (Next Day Note: Not exactly getting a warm & fuzzy feeling about the US Title from that short promo.) Brie & Daniel Bryan are interrupted by Stephanie McMahon. She warns them to stay put until their matches tonight. A Kane mask is on the back side of the door. Ominous!

RVD comes out for a singles match with Cesaro. The later is preceded by Paul Heyman. Rolling Thunder connects early so that Cesaro can get advice from Heyman. Good ploy on their part. Finishing off my Seventh Son Lost Sparrow Black IPA as a victory Sippy Time Beer. Pens 2-0. RVD keeps the offense going. A sling shot leg drop only gets a two count. I really hope this CM Punk chants stops. (Next Day Note: I heard it at least 2 more times last night. Chicago will not be any better next week.) Cesaro takes over by clothes lining RVD over the top rope. RVD leaped into an upper cut. Running, jumping upper cut in the corner by Cesaro. His triple gut wrench suplexes only get a two count. RVD  gets caught trying to monkey flip. RVD gets caught in the turn buckles. RVD got his foot out then put it back in. Cesaro gets DQed by going over board on RVD. Van Dam looks “clueless” as the medical staff tries to help him. (Next Day Note: I was thinking this feud had more potential for Cesaro than Jack Swagger. You can’t take back that triple threat match especially since it was elimination style. They could have planted the seeds last week then started on this feud. The problem with my idea is that RVD doesn’t get PPV money then.)

The Wyatt Family is in Albany. I will take this time right now to address anyone who thought that child last night with the voice alteration machine was creepy as fuck, I will be sure not to seek your opinion on scary movies. I would imagine that you never read our Walking Dead reviews because that be too much for you. (Next Day Note: Here is such an article. He claims to like slasher flicks. I call Bravo Sierra and revoke your man card.) John Cena should have kicked that kid right in the mush and walked out of the cage. Wyatt looks to be continuing this feud with Cena. Wyatt says that he is doing this for the children, a bunch or random groups and then the crowd. They boo which still makes me wonder why people sing along with him. Bray Wyatt is a god. Of course they sing. Why? I just heard you boo him. Boo him singing. He does it poorly enough to be booed. Though I think that’s part of the act so I don’t have a problem with it. (Next Day Note: Cena beat three men and lost to a little child. What else is there to explore in this feud?)

Cody Rhodes comes down with Goldust. Ryback was already in the ring with Curtis Axel. Cody is taking on Ryback in singles action. Ryback uses his power early. The announcers talk about the Rhodes Family slump. Ryback with a delayed suplex. JBL makes a good joke about Wyatt calling himself a god. (Next Day Note: I believe it was after Cool acted indignant that Bray Wyatt would do that. JBL’s response was “I don’t know anyone else who’d do that.” Why neither Cool or Lawler laughed is beyond me.) A Disaster Kick by Cody gets me into the match. Cody goes to the top rope. Goldust tries to stop Curtis Axel from interfering. Goldust gets pushed into the post which wobbles Rhodes. Ryback Shell Shocks Rhodes for the win. Daniel Bryan and Brie are in the room when the lights go out. They flee and run into Stephanie, who will bring their car around. How about firing Kane and not allowing him in the building if you can’t control him? Wouldn’t that be best for business?

Los Matadores & El Torito get to throw a Cinco De Mayo. They toss candy into the crowd. 3MB save us? They offer peace so that they don’t wreck their party. Everyone fights. No one is entertained. (Next Day Note: There’s a reason I didn’t highlight anyone in this segment.)

From Dailiywrestlingnews.com

From Dailiywrestlingnews.com

Alexander Rusev gets to beat Kofi Kingston. The amount of pictures Lana took before coming the WWE reminds me of the good old days when you could find soft porn pictures of almost all of the Divas. Kofi gets the feet up to stay in it. A cross body barely gets a one count. Kingston nails the fulcrum kick. Rusev “crushes” Kofi. Rusev gets Kofi to tap out to the Accolade. Daniel Bryan is paranoid as they get into a car. Stephanie has a heavy hand. (Next Day Note: I swear one of the writers watches Archer because they make fun of Lana Kane for having man hands all of the time.) She then tells them to wrestle their matches. Um, why did you offer to get their car then? (Next Day Edit: Why not have Stephanie tell them she’d get the car pulled around then not have it where it was supposed to be? Steph could say the valet screwed up and deny the trouble Kane has caused again.)

Alberto Del Rio gets to job to Daniel Bryan even though he’s sure to get distracted this match. Del Rio gets the early push. Bryan turns up the heat. A back cracker gets things turned around for Del Rio. He tosses Bryan against the barricade. As I watch this match, I can’t get a tweet from Mick Foley out of my head about this angle. He compared the angle with Kane & Bryan to the Kane & Zack Ryder skits. Del Rio softens up the arm with a four count arm pull. Bryan works over the knee. Del Rio drops Bryan on the barricade. Bryan with a  drop toe hold that lands Del Rio’s face into a turn buckle. Del Rio shoulders Bryan in the corner. He lays into Bryan with a clothes line. Bryan fights Del Rio off the top rope. Flying Goat head butt only gets two. Drop kicks in the corner by Bryan. Suicide dive by Bryan. Del Rio enziguris Bryan off the top rope. Del Rio takes too long going for the cross arm breaker. Bryan puts on the Yes Lock for the tap out win. Bryan & Brie run back stage. They get into the car but it won’t start. So you pop the hood first? Kane is in the back seat. Kane ends up on the hood of the car. Bryan drives a short distance away then checks on Kane who entirely too straight to fool anyone except Bryan. Bryan & Brie still drive away unharmed. I have no idea what Mick Foley is talking about. (Next Day Note: It also drove me nuts that Bryan has been shown as an environmentalist on Total Divas but they decided to give him a Lincoln Continental for some reason.)

Big E Langston is taking on Bad News Barrett again. The Intercontinental Title is somehow being defended on Raw. Big E is on the offense early. After Big E beats him up outside the ring, he tosses him back in. Big E shoulder blocks a steel post when Barrett dodges. Big E barely beats a ten count. The crowd is sitting on their hands. They finally break after I anticipate it during the count. Barrett misses a high kick. Big E turns it around. Barrett gets the knees up on the splash. Big E gets kneed trying for a running shoulder block. Big E runs into Barrett. Big E spears Barrett through the ropes. A pair of over head suplexes by Big E. Barrett rakes the eyes. Barrett nails the Bull Hammer Elbow for the win. I still have some hope for Big E after that match. Not a complete burial. (Next Day Edit: I can’t wait for Barrett to get the same de-push Big E got after winning the title.)

From crazy-einstein.com Exotic roses didn't look as cool.

From crazy-einstein.com Exotic roses didn’t look as cool.

Zeb Colter comes out with Jack Swagger who is wearing a Bigg Hoss zip up sweater. He debuts the deportation list. Adam Rose shows up with his Exotic Express. He stages falls into them. They carry him around the ring. Rose dances around them. He wants Zeb to be a Rose Bud. Does this ridiculousness happen every time this guy comes out? It’ll get obnoxious but it’s a good introduction.

The Shield taking on the Wyatt Family is the main event. All three fight to start but Erick Rowan & Dean Ambrose end up starting the match. Luke Harper ended up pairing off with Seth Rollins. Roman Reigns comes in to share in the beat down. Rollins ends up back in the ring to sell for the Wyatts. It would make sense for the Shield to favor Rollins & Reigns. They try to push Main Event for John Cena’s response to the Wyatts. I won’t watch. Ambrose gets the hot tag against Rowan. Ambrose nails the middle rope sling shot clothes line. The teams face off three on three. Ambrose & Harper are in the ring. Ambrose ends up taking more of a beating because we can’t have Reigns sell yet. Rollins nails the senton over the top rope. Rollins hits a combo in the corner. Standing shooting star press. Rollins gets pushed off the top ropes. What a ballsy move. Looked pretty safe. Harper nails a suicide dive. Bray Wyatt charges into Rollins in a corner. Ambrose gets tossed into the announce table. Rollins gets Harper off the top ropes. Rollins gets to hot tag Reigns. He gets to take out Wyatt first. Reigns shouldn’t jump to clothes line. It looks better than Kofi’s but it’s still stupid and unnecessary. Everyone brawls in the ring. Ambrose & Rollins take out Harper & Rowan. Superman Punch by Reigns. Evolution comes out. Ambrose & Rollins nail another pair of suicide dives. Superman punch on HHH. Wyatt takes advantage and cross bodies Reigns in the stomach. Sister Abigail’s Kiss for the win. Evolution attacks the Shield. Lawler busts out the battle/war analogy. (Next Day Note: So why didn’t Evolution win with some under handed tactics at Extreme Rules if this feud is going to continue?). – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

sigh-of-reliefSo I’m watching this game between the Penguins & Bluejackets for entirely too much time. The Pens got a 2-0 lead pretty quickly. They then made it 4-0 in the 2nd period so that they hopefully would avoid the jinx of the 3-1 lead in this series. (Next Day Note: I had to re-write the beginning but should have scrapped even more because I didn’t watch that game for too long. The Pens lolly gagging on a PP led to the Jackets getting a burr under their saddle.) They tried to blow it by allowing three goals in the third period but got their shit together long enough to hold off the Jackets. I’m going to be so happy to “upgrade” the announcers next round to the morons on NBCSN. Very slight upgrade. Time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

John Cena is in the ring first inside a cage. I just sat back and listened because when Cena is on, he can really spin a yarn. He did by asking why the crowd picked the worst odds for him. Cena needs to contain the message of Bray Wyatt because the fans don’t understand how bad that could be. Okay, so that part is a little over dramatic but we’re talking wrestling here. A choir of children sign for Bray Wyatt. He then marches down to the ring with the Family and the choir. They end up having the lambs masks on after Wyatt blows out the kerosene lamp. We get a dull “Cena” chant. This angle has edged his crowd more than normal in the somewhat favor or Wyatt, who gets sing alongs but not much otherwise. He laughs as he rocks one of the children. It’s supposed to draw more heat, right? Good stuff though.

Rybaxel is taking on The Usos for the tag team championships. Curtis Axel starts against Jey, who I can now remember has the full tattoo on his right shoulder. Ryback comes in and of course uses brute force. He misses a splash so that Jimmy come in. Flying Usos. Jey holds his left ankle at the break. (Next Day Note: I was wondering if they’d move the titles to Rybaxel until the “injury.” Sure fire sign the baby faces win.) Jimmy is taking the beat down. Jey ends up getting a hot tag even with the injury. It holds up long enough for a Samoan Drop. Corner splash only gets a two count. Ryback gets a tag behind Jey. He power slams Jey but only gets two. Super kick as Ryback goes for the Meathook Clothesline. Ryback clothes line Jey. Sunset flip by Jey only gets a two. Jimmy gets a tag behind Axel’s back. Jey takes a Perfectplex but Jimmy splashes Axel for the win. Fun stuff. I hope Rybaxel stays together. Sad that’s a statement after a loss in a TV title match.

Paul Heyman admits his faults to Cesaro but guarantees he takes his clients to the top. It’s enough for Cesaro. (Next Day Note: I’d like to hear more from Cesaro but there’s time.) It was all Steph vs Daniel Bryan stuff afterwards. Thanks for letting me play catch up.

Titus O’Neil attacks Sheamus from behind as he made his way down to the ring. Titus tries to take it to Sheamus. The ref breaks it up. Sheamus comes out of the corner with a Brogue Kick for the win. Goodnight to O’Neil’s career of relevance. That’s all I had to type for another segment.

Dolph Ziggler, who I learned is my child over the weekend, (Next Day Note: I was wearing Kent State gear at a bar over the weekend and the waitress asked me if my child went to KSU. I knew I was getting old but not that old.) who gets to introduce Hugh Jackman. Of course they bring up the punch. “Jack Swagger has kicked me harder than that.” is a nice line from Ziggler. Damien Sandow comes out dressed in Magneto’s oversized outfit. This segment is going nowhere fast. They act like Sandow can pull the mic towards hip. Jackman hip tosses Sandow and the he gets Zig Zagged. Woof. Video packages for a PPV = time saving device though it’s good practices by the WWE. (Next Day Note: It also prevents me from typing as much as normal.)

I'm hot so I know what looks good. I picked Jack's new hair cut. Any questions?

I’m hot so I know what looks good. I picked it just for him. From pwmania.com.

Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger come to the ring. Paul Heyman comes out and tries to shame the crowd by saying his kids love him. Oh man, how did I not see that coming with the joke about the Undertaker? I hope that’s the end of the ground beating on the Streak talk too. Good timing to stop after a funny couple of weeks. Cesaro gets introduced. I saw someone complaining about Cesaro’s music on Twitter while looking at game tweets. I agree. It sucks. Cesaro takes control early. Swagger is trying another dopey hair cut. Swagger finally locks up Cesaro with a reverse full nelson. Colter grabs Cesaro’s leg. Swagger takes advantage. Paul Heyman grabs Colter’s mustache. Swagger gets distracted. German suplex for the Cesaro win. Weird finisher. Renee Young wants a reaction from John Cena. He gives no answer just a look of concern.

Cody Rhodes is taking on Alberto Del Rio. Goldust is in Rhodes’ corner. Del Rio takes control when I start paying attention. I was trying to do other stuff. Cody gets out of a reverse chin lock. Cody kicks Del Rio in “the gut.” Del Rio locks in the cross arm breaker. Cody holds out but eventually taps. Cody is still pissed at Goldust. (Next Day Note: I’m not sure why Cody is getting another singles push. I can’t wait for the next inevitable one trick pony gimmick he gets.)

Alexander Rusev gets introduced while Xavier Woods is in the ring. Why is he taking him on again in singles competition? Rusev goes for the Accolade when R Truth clocks him for the DQ win. Woods & Truth work together to get him out of the ring. Lana wisely holds back Rusev. (Next Day Note: Rusev is going nowhere fast.) They show John Cena granting wishes today. Renee Young gets my attention when she talks to RVD. Bad News is going to receive some tonight. Zeb Colter asks RVD to help get rid of their common enemy. He gives a stoner response, grandpa.

Los Matadores is taking on 3MB again. Holy crap. A Wee LC Match. I pay little attention to this match because the high light is the little guys on the outside. Heath Slater pins Fernando. “Barry Horowitz is spinning in his grave but he’s not dead yet.” – JBL.

Stephanie McMahon comes to the ring. Daniel Bryan comes out to the ramp before she says anything. Bryan says “She’s full of crap.” Harsh words. She admits her faults. She just wanted a credible opponent for TLC for Bryan. Brie gets a Divas Title match out of the gig. Ominously, Kane’s mask is gone.

From quicklol.com

From quicklol.com

Paige doesn’t get an entrance. Brie gets the offense in first. Paige goes psycho and takes over. Paige knees Brie who was tied up in the ropes. Running knee by Brie is not sold enough. (Next Day Note: Paige takes a knee to the head but recovers before Brie was even on the top rope. Whoever laid out the match didn’t think about that much.) Paige superplexes her. Kane comes up through the ring. Why are broads too dumb to run? Bryan clocks Kane with a giant monkey wrench. Kane recovers as Brie is shuffled out of the ring. But she goes back in for some stupid broad reason after Bryan gets choke slammed. Good build up for such short notice. (Next Day Note: Although in no way do I still buy Kane as a credible opponent.)

Stephanie plays sorry again. Brie “Bitch, get out.” PG rated, right? Renee Young finds John Cena for a second time. Cena just can’t help himself. Stop making the dumb jokes. You’re tainting the greatness you dealt to start the show. Wade Barrett cheers me up with his promo when cutting down of RVD.

RVD takes on Barrett in the IC Title Tournament. They pimp a Big E interview online since he has barely been seen except for short peaks from the back. (Next Day Note: Another shot of Big E rubbing his chin hit right after I typed that.) Barrett gets in some early shots. RVD takes over. Barrett back elbows out of the ring. B-n-B with the thumbs. Barrett kicks RVD “in the stomach.” Barrett has a reverse chin lock. RVD fights out. Winds of Change by Barrett only gets a two count. Neck breaker by Barrett. RVD warms it up as I realize I forgot to tape The Boondocks. I suck. Cesaro comes to the ring. RVD is distracted. Swagger comes down. Barrett misses the Bull Hammer. RVD goes to the top when Cesaro interferes again. Bull Hammer Elbow leads to the win. I hope the match on Sunday is better. (Next Day Note: I meant Barrett vs Big E. Lots of noise surrounding this match. Not sure why RVD got drug into the Real Americans break up aside from the Heyman reference.) Cesaro attacks RVD. Swagger attacks Cesaro. Then RVD. Then RVD gets to go over on both of them. That was a serious Five Star in the distance department. The Shield is in blue light. Dean Ambrose notes that it’s past Evolution’s time. Seth Rollins thinks they believe in false power. Roman Reigns thinks Randy Orton is the past and he’s the future. Believe in the Shield.

HHH, Randy Orton and Batista come to the ring. They each get short promos. Weird that you book the main event so tight. I’m sure this ends in a brawl. Ric Flair’s music hits and he comes out. He sells them out, right? Yep, after he talks up his ties with Evolution, he picks the Shield. Then walks away. Unless this ends in a hurry, I’m not catching the end. Mitchell Cool mentions “cream puff” again. They really want that to catch on or are rubbing in a terrible choice of words. HHH yanks Reigns leg as he sets up for the Superman Punch. Ambrose & Rollins attack HHH & Batista. Superman punch connects as my DVR comes to a halt. Piss off for the first time since WM, WWE. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation – Stanley Cup Playoffs and WWE Raw

Lana NXT

Jeremy: That was an interesting game with Pittsburgh Penguins and the Columbus Bluejackets last night.

Kevin:  I was so annoyed by the start. The Pens took control after the TO though. It took them a while to crack Bob still.
Jeremy:  Shows the inexperience. Shouldn’t blow a two goal lead in 3rd.
Kevin:  They’ve done that twice so far this series and I do think it’s partially inexperience. The other part, which is what is bothering me more, is the Pens are more talented. Granted, outworking them is helping the CBJ stay in it.
Jeremy:  I started flipping between Raw and hockey so didn’t see enough to see that.
Kevin:  So Wednesday should be interesting.
Jeremy:  Yeah for sure. Thought of that last night. Pivotal game. No chance Cbus can go down 3-1
Kevin:  Which is what I’m hoping for. As soon as I knew I only had game 4, I was hoping the Pens weren’t on the verge of a sweep because they have only swept 1 team under Dan Bylsma.
Jeremy:  no one can sweep so far which is good
Kevin:  Did Tampa finally win? Walked the dogs during intermissions and started watching Raw after the game.
Jeremy:  Oh forgot about them. I was out by 10:30 or so. Have to watch end still but no shock Cena won even if by DQ.
Kevin:  I’ll have it in a next day note but it was funny of the WWE to skew a vote against the baby face to continue the narrative.
Jeremy:  Yeah I know. Like the outcome was in anyway a surprise.
Kevin:  It’s so weird too since it’s basically the same mistake he made against Nexus that he claims to regret. Learn from past mistakes, John.  Just read that Jim Ross thinks the fans voted for that situation. Either he’s a rube or he’s still covering for the WWE. Either way, it’s a bad look for credibility.
Jeremy:  Nah I have no doubt the fans really voted that. Why would they want anything but the most in that?
Kevin:  Then why would the 2nd most votes be just for Harper?
Jeremy:  Harper is awesome. I am convinced the app stuff is for the hardcore stuff which is why they keep explaining hwo to do it. They think the average fan is stupid and reading the comments on pics and that, ugh, they are.
Kevin:  I just need to read the comments from Twitter they post on the screen. The Tweets couldn’t try to be less mundane.
Jeremy:  Oh yeah those are great. Totally useless.
Kevin:  So I’m sure the comments are just as priceless. Luke Harper rulez! Thanks @TheBeztWWEFan
Jeremy:  I am not doing better than that one. You nailed every aspect, down to the Z in the name.
Kevin:  I’m not even sure if I could Tweet something like that. Maybe I could just to see @Stunntgranny scroll across the screen.

Jeremy:  I considered it but just no
Kevin:  The level of shame attached isn’t worth it.
Jeremy:  Exactly.
Kevin:  Ha. Anything else jump out at you during the show?
Jeremy:  They got Daniel Bryan off tv fast to deal with his dad dying. thought that was a nice touch. Crazy month for that guy. Total roller coaster.
Kevin:  Included that in the corrections I just posted. That is the definition of up & down.
Jeremy:  yeah, when he came out I expected him to say something about it, hence the Brie Bella cameo.
Kevin:  I didn’t know that was news before the show. Never much check the sites after noon.
Jeremy:  I saw it on twitter or something. Not a usual destination but came across it somehow.
Kevin:  I was avoiding that being behind in the game some
Jeremy:  OK, so Lana’s real name is CJ Perry on the SSV board have near nude pics of her already. Damn fine work.
Kevin:  I decided to put Paige pics in the column instead of Lana.
Jeremy:  Nice. She is attractive.
Kevin:  I’ll have to take a look at the Lana pics though. Never been much for blondes.
Jeremy:  Ha. Booooo.
Kevin:  I wouldn’t kick Lana out of bed for eating crackers after watching that short video.
Jeremy:  Nope
Kevin:  Probably a little short on a column still. Dusty is doing the show tonight. So anything else strike you from Raw that we can discuss?
Standard_Poodle

Jeremy: Ran home and watched that main event. Weak shit. The Super Cena stuff doesn’t work anymore. Everyone else has some realistic tendencies but hsi act is so bad in comparison. He did , maybe, 7 moves all match and won. The instant DQ at the end was idiotic. Really bad stuff. It should have just been a beatdown and no match.
Kevin:  Whoever booked the match did pace things well in that Bray Wyatt kept letting Cena off the hook by playing to the crowd which allowed him to get those 7 moves in.
Jeremy:  yes that was OK but it was a beat down for 15? min. it is just the character doesn’t meld with the new or current guys
there are too many established “legit” guys now. It isn’t like he is facing Alberto Del Rio. If it was Erik Rowan takign a AA and then a nearfall then ok, but not Wyatt who you are tryign to build up. You have to sell a cage macth for christ sake. If he can beat him with the interference what is the damn point?
Kevin:  Why I skipped over that aspect of it is a mystery to even me. Rowan is getting in less and less ring time as their gimmick keeps getting used. Not a good sign for him. You are right that he should be the one nearly losing. Not the guy who already lost to Cena at Wrestlemania.
Jeremy:  Right,I know that Cena is ” the standard” now but there is money in the idea that the younger guy is nto ionly getting in to his head but wearing him down physically. Having him get beat for 18 minutes only to make a comeback like nothing happened is not a smart way to further a story.I am not even hating on Cena. This would be a good week to see whot he producer of the segment was. They need to get across the importance of looking weak. Remember Nexus just crushing Cena a few years back. It was startling because it never happened. Last night was a moment to do the same. Cena cannot win against the Wyatt Family. They are too strong or they have worn him down so far between the onset of the feud and now. It makes Cenas eventual triumph that much bigger. Fuck, this is easy.
Kevin:  But you don’t know the back stage politics, man! HHH would never take a spear from Roman Reigns to help build up Evolutions feud with the Shield. So why would John Cena receive a beat down?
Jeremy:  Well Cena did take a beat down after the fact as well but it rings hollow. Yes I am ignoring your very accurate point about Triple H. It was just a very poorly conceived segment. It would also help if the Attitude Adjustment wasn’t a sorry looking finisher. Outside of Ryback who has a weaker looking final move?
Kevin:  So glad Bad News Barrett isn’t using Wasteland any more. But trying to think of bad finishers and am coming up empty. Looked at the roster after thinking on it and still nothing.
Jeremy:  I was aiming more at bigger guys with weak finishers. Anything that consists of a flat back bump isn’t too harsh looking. It also depends on the delivery. If Cena drove the body to the mat or at least kept his hand on the stomach to make it look like he was driving them then cool. He simply flips the guy on to the back. No different than a hiptoss or a back drop.

Kevin:  It reminds me of the Walls of Jericho in a way. It looked good at the start but looked weaker when they started doing it a lot. Jericho turns it into a Boston Crab. Cena has gone from a DVD to as you noted, tossing someone on their back.
Jeremy:  Even the STF has gotten a bit better ever since Austin tod him on his podcast to tighten it up. ll of this factors in making this angle with The Wyatts work. They are believable in their actions and moves and he has the responsibility to do the same. It falls on the producers to get it over as well.
Kevin:  Ha. Didn’t listen to that one but it’s good that Austin called him out. Austin was the best at doing the little things to keep it look realistic. I remember him just punching people as he drug them back to the ring. One of the reasons I like Austin over other people.
Jeremy:  It is alwasy the little things that go towards making things realistic. Even if the announcers, which they didn’t, would have brought up the fact that all John had to do was get dirty to fight back it would have helped last night. Fight fire with fire.Some cliche like that.Imagine after all that with Kane and Daniel bryan he gets up and gives the running knee to kane.
Kevin:  That would have been ridiculous. DB and Cena have much different characters. Cena’s needs to be more like DB. Allow a beat down to happen. As much as we’ve talked up Cena for losing key important matches, he doesn’t allow beat downs like he should.
Jeremy:  Well he allows the beat down but never the culmination of the beat down. He has no issue showing one cheek but he never goes full on ass.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw

From themusicwithinus.com

From themusicwithinus.com

If you have ever been to this site, you know I put everything on hold when the Pittsburgh Penguins are in the Stanley Cup Playoffs so you are not surprised I’m starting this column late. Hockey is my favorite sport. This year, things are made interesting by the fact that they’re playing the Columbus Bluejackets, to which I have half season tickets. I thought I would be going to all home games but it turns out I’m only going to half so that at least allows me to finish this column in somewhat timely fashion. It also means I’m attending Game 4 on Wednesday so this game tonight was extra important. I feel much better about going to that game with a 2-1 game lead than being down one. I love Columbus, but that’s on hold until this series is over. Let’s Go Pens!

Brie Bella gets her in ring time with her husband Daniel Bryan, except Stephanie McMahon interrupts the fun. We get condescending Steph so it’s a good one. We’re supposed to be worried about the evil Kane being back though which needs more convincing from me. Kane from “out of nowhere” aka just where Bryan & Brie walked to. Bryan gets tombstoned by Kane as Steph shouts “No!” Kane sets up Bryan on the lower half of the stairs. Another tombstone. Is Bryan injured? (Next Day Note: No he isn’t. Unfortunately his father died. Man, that’s tough. You accomplish your dream, get married way above your looks only to have that happen. Yuck. Condolences to the Danielson family.) A third tombstone on the announce table still doesn’t sell me on Kane being able to beat Bryan. They’re trying at least.

If Bad News Barrett wins this match against Sheamus, then Cesaro loses against RVD later. These two have had some fun brawls in the past so I expect a good match. The cross body block is getting popular for the big guys to show off the agility. It never quite looks right and Sheamus is no different. Sheamus gets kicked off the apron to go to break. Sheamus takes over in this stretch. He does look much smoother doing the top rope shoulder block. Barrett turns it around with the Winds of Change side slam. Barrett misses the Bull Hammer Elbow. Sheamus turns it into White Noise. The cross body block to the floor looks rough. So much can go wrong when you do that. Bull Hammer Elbow as Sheamus goes for the suicide dive. Nice win for Barrett. I like Barrett more as an IC opponent than Cesaro, who seems destined for larger prizes. (Next Day Note: Of course I’m assuming that they won’t go baby face vs Big E who is also babyface. I don’t see RVD holding the IC Title though at this time in his career. They could use him as a stepping stone if they go that route though.)

Bray Wyatt and the Family are on the stage. We’re a nation full of sheep, lead by wolves and owned by pigs. It’s a wonderful night for change. Everyone is abandoning John Cena and coming to his side. We get a sing along. He ends by warning us to fear him. I dig his work.

I was amused by the set up for the El Torito vs Hornswoggle on Smackdown. They wrestled a real match as far as the sequence of moves went. The crowd could have cared less. El Torito is an impressive athlete considering his limitations. Jinder Mahal breaks up a pin. Drew McIntyre comes in to take on El Torito. Los Matadores hold up McIntyre for El Torito to sit on him from the top rope. El Torito then pinned him. “Evolution has always been the measuring stick” from Jerry “The King” Lawler. Is he going heel? He was just running down El Torito. I’m so confused. (Next Day Note: Lawler went back into baby face mode for the rest of the show which makes me even more confused.)

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News You Can Use: C.M. Punk, Sting & WWE Slam City

From misfits.cinderblock.com

From misfits.cinderblock.com

– A couple of stories struck me over the weekend. One being that Dana White was asked if CM Punk would fight in the UFC. It always reminds me that the majority of wrestling fans are dumb as bricks. CM Punk wears a Gracie Jiu Jitsu hoodie and incorporates mixed martial arts moves into his professional wrestling move set so that automatically makes him good enough to fight in the best MMA company in the world. I can’t wait to start playing hockey for the Pittsburgh Penguins because I wear their shirts often and have been known to use moves by Sidney Crosby & Evgeni Malkin on my nephews to score goals in bubble hockey. CM Punk was also in the news because he was on “The Talking Dead“. I guess that would make him an actor so he should immediately be one of the detectives on the next season of True Detectives.

Sting participated in a Q&A in England and was asked if he was going to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania 31. I’m glad that bricks can now speak or else I wouldn’t have content for the site. At least Sting was smart enough to say “I really don’t know. I can say that I would love for that to happen.” because that is as likely to happen as CM Punk capturing a title in the UFC.

WWE has teamed with Mattel to make WWE Slam City, a cartoon that will have 26 two minute episodes. They already have four episodes posted. It’s definitely for children so I’m not sure I can review it properly. I may watch a PG product about fake fighting but I have standards. I’ll have my nephews view it and give me a review for the site. I’m sure they’ll do that for their super cool uncle who happens to play for the Penguins. – Kevin

Thanks to Prowrestling.net for the news stories.

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