Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

again fyalbSo I’m one of those dreaded people watching Monday Night Football during Raw thus hurting their average rating that has stayed pretty much steady for the last several years. The picture accurately describes my thoughts of the Steelers offense. Can’t argue about the defense too much. What are you going to do? Too early to panic but it could be another average or below average year if these patterns. It’s half time so I’ll do a little now and finish up after the game. Let’s roll.

Daniel Bryan is introduced as the new WWE Champion. I’m still thinking the other shoe will drop soon enough. I figured this feud was getting drug out with a cheap Randy Orton win. The Cleveland show already showing up with a “Daniel Bryan.” Strange things are afoot already. HHH comes down to ring side. Jeremy told me about the quick count. I glazed over that fact while reading the review. The referee has a name and it’s Scott Armstrong. Video dissection has come to Raw. It’s really annoying me that they’re using my own words against me. Holding people to standards of a regular corporation now using video evidence. Ah, it’s so much better that they “worked” in cahoots. Ugh. HHH strips him of the title. The irony of HHH’s speech is kind of funny. Randy Orton comes to ring side. Shouldn’t HHH have gotten to the bottom of this already? I’d love to have the NFL say “We’re going to wait 24 hours to reivew this positive test.” RKO by Orton as HHH walks away with the belt.

Wow, I mean, just a terrible offensive effort. The defense didn’t help by creating a turnover and taking some bad penalties on Cincinnati’s last drive. Stephanie and HHH are arguing when Randy Orton barges in. Steph threatens to find a new face of the WWE. Interesting turn of events. Dean Ambrose is taking on Dolph Ziggler in a rematch from last night. I’m really glad I didn’t order the PPV. They’ve undone the main event already and now repeat match. JBL is on fire already. Ziggler gets tossed to the outside for our break. Ambrose in control. Jerry Lawler finally makes a valid point in saying that HHH could be in cahoots with Armstrong. JBL took time to recover but responds to Lawler then starts laughing at himself. Dead give away he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. No wonder Jeremy thought he was drunk. Crowd solidly behind Ziggler. Small “Golden Flashes” chant. Zig Zag gets Dolph his win back. Much needed win for my boy. How did he win in kind of his home town? Not exactly excited that he’s in the IC Title hunt unless they decide to put any emphasis on it.

Brad Maddox is talking to HHH & Stephanie. She gets to belittle him again. I’m so blowing thru reviews and entrances tonight. This was all of consequence in that break.

R Truth is taking on Fandango. Holy cow, JBL is now mixing up the points that Lawler is making. Holy cow, allegedly JBL is drunk. JBL rips on Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler. I’m not even paying attention to the match. Top rope leg drop for the Fandango win. He needed a win too. Dusty Rhodes is talking to a bunch of people backstage.

Dusty Rhodes is delivering a Dusty promo even though he’s here as Virgil Runnels. Stephanie‘s music is so over the top. It doesn’t really fit her character at all. She gives him a gift card for for Bed, Bath & Beyond. Ha. She makes him decide between rehiring Cody Rhodes and Goldust. After more insults, Dusty Rhodes tells Steph to go to hell. The Shield is summoned. Stephanie asks Big Show to come out. I love the crowd finishing the Big Show’s song. Steph makes him choose between Big Show knocking him out and an attack by the Shield. Big Show cries. He scares off a Shield attack so he can do the honors. He’s sorry. KO punch then he gently puts him down.

Brie Bella is now a baby face. The Funkadactyls are wearing better ring gear. Layla, Alicia Fox & Aksana are the heels. Natalya’s head set was not working and it seems like a work because they are blaming AJ for its’ malfunction. Facebuster by Brie Bella for the win. Natalya yells at AJ and they have a stare down. The Miz & Brad Maddox are talking.

RVD is taking on Damien Sandow. At least he gets to job to a bigger name this week. Five Star Frog Splash as the losing streak continues for Sandow. It is funny having him brag after the losses. Keeps heat on him.

HHH is back stage with Scott Armstrong. How can Cool or Lawler not call JBL on some of his previous shenanigans to hold onto the title belt? Armstrong gets to nod as HHH lets him go. So, now we’re supposed to think of refs as important? I want Mike Chioda! Randy Orton comes out. The Miz gets attacked as he hugs his family. That’s why Dolph was let off the hook. His mom doesn’t live in Cleveland. Miz’s parents should be horrified by their look. Did they know they were going to be on TV?

The Miz decides to fight one armed. The only person to ever be hurt for any span of time by the stairs. Please take them in for a hair cut Miz. At least. This could actually get the Miz back on track. Let him go aggressive again instead of cheese dick huckster host of Summerslam. Hanging DDT off the barracade. Orton drops the knee while Miz has his head in a chair. Miz better be taking some time off even if he’s not really injured.

Paul Heyman comes out in a wheel chair with Ryback & Curtis Axel. Nexus is reforming. When does Wade Barrett join? Heyman pinned CM Punk. Heyman had no back up plan. He isn’t taking credit for his win. Nice little team they have going here for Heyman though. Ryback got his message across. Heyman then kissed him. Weird.

Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro are taking on Tons of Funk and the Usos. Each team is getting a crack at it early. Tensai gets to hold up Cesaro for a suplex. Tensai looking unusually good. Because of course they are the first ones eliminated. Cesaro rolled up Tensai. Commercial. Makes sense to have the Usos win since the Shield are champs. Jimmy Uso gets the hot tag. Swagger takes the beating. Cesaro breaks up a pin. Double over the top rop dive by the Usos. Patriot lock. Jimmy kicks out then super kicks Swagger. Jey tags in without Swagger seeing. Top rope splash for the Usos win.

Bray Wyatt gets another video message. He needs to put down some bad animals in his world. Good stuff.

Roman Reigns is in the ring when Daniel Bryan comes down. Randy Orton comes down after. I’m just tuning out the announcers at this point. It’s late and they’re rehashing arguments. There’s not much use in calling the match. Split screen showing the counts. I’m way too awake for the time it is, 1:27 AM. The only thing I can think is “Please call the match so I can rest my eyes” and “watch” the match. Randy Orton belongs on GQ. JBL is definitely, allegedly drunk. Close count after the head count. Rollins takes a brutal spill when Bryan drop kicks him thru the ropes. Randy Orton attacks Bryan when he had the Yes Lock on Reigns. Orton gets locked. The Shield attacks. I dropped water on my lap top. Yep, it’s late. Everyone empties from the locker room and attacks the Shield. Orton takes off. Seth Rollins is the last one in the ring because he’s the best seller. Why is this taking place on free TV? – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: The Pittsburgh Pirates Get To .500 (At Least)

Pirates Hats

’97, ’06 and ’11

My beloved Pittsburgh Pirates have not had a winning season since I got my driver’s license in 1992. I have suffered through the majority of the twenty consecutive seasons of a losing record. I will admit to being so ticked off at baseball for striking in 1994 that I stopped watching until 1999. During that time period though, I still sported a Pirates hat that I bought in the summer of 1997. It was an easy time period to keep the team out of my life since it was during my college years. I’d be home for the summer, mow lawns for twelve hours a day then go spend some of my money on some really cheap beer. Few of my friends liked sports and if they did, it was football. I had also convinced myself that it was a boring sport. Of all things that drug me back in, it was fantasy baseball. I hate losing, even if there isn’t money involved. But when my friend Jason invited me into that league in 1999, it changed the way I looked at the sport.

I have been a Pirates since I can remember. My mother was the big baseball supporter in the household while my dad was more of a Steelers guy. Both of them grew up in Pittsburgh. Three of my four grandparents were born in Pittsburgh. The fourth moved there from Penne, Italy when she was fourteen. All of them were invested in the sports products of the ‘Burgh so it was easy to become a fan. We went to Pirates games in the summer when we went to visit the grandparents. We never went to Steelers games as a family. I also went to a lot of games with a friend’s family because they were from Lancaster, PA and were huge Philadelphia Phillies fans. Our present for a good job in little league or for a job well done as an altar boy was of course a trip to a Pirates game.

But as already mentioned, my fandom was derailed by a bunch of idiots in 1994. When I got back into the swing of things in ’99 though, I went all in. I understand better why this sport wasn’t boring. I had acknowledged when I was a kid that pitching was important but I never thought about the cat and mouse game that pitchers and hitters play with each other. I remember arguing with fellow fans in grade school the day after I went to see the Atlanta Braves at the Pirates in the NLCS in 1991, Game 2. Zane Smith was out dueled by Steve Avery. Everyone thought I saw a boring game but I knew I saw two pitchers at their peak shutting down two great offenses. Now though, I understand more of the ideas behind scouting reports, good pitch location and mixing up pitch types. I didn’t realize how much space you needed to cover in the outfield, despite having been to Three Rivers Stadium more times than I can remember. The ability of the current Pirates outfield to cover that much space is incredible and requires more athleticism than I thought as a kid. The outfielders aren’t the only ones devouring tons of space to make plays. I thought it was easy to play infield since there was less space to cover. Even though it may be the case for first and third base, second base and shortstop have gobs of space to cover. Even though a third basemen might not have as much territory, they have the toughest throw to make in very little time to make an out and that’s just on a routine ground ball.

It was time to read the minor league scouting reports, check out the draft and international signings. I knew that the Buffalo Bisons were the Pirates AAA farm team when I was a kid but I couldn’t have told you anyone who was there. These days, I go to Indianapolis Indians to see the next set of prospects. I had a friend move to Indianapolis. Since I was strapped for cash at the time, I crashed at his place to go see the Indians play the Pawtucket Red Sox. I got to see Andrew McCutchen, now an MVP candidate, in his next to last minor league start. I was bummed earlier this year when I thought Gerrit Cole, their No. 1 pick in 2011, was going to pitch the day before they came to Columbus. An extra day of rest helped me out and I got to see Cole in his next to last start in the minors. I was bummed that the Pirates next big time prospect, pitcher Jameson Taillon, didn’t come here to Columbus after he got a bump up from the AA Altoona Curve. Which is another fun part of the process, my hometown now has the Pirates AA team. Much more exciting for me than some other small city in the state or another state. It was a blast last year going to a game with my family when we were all back in Altoona. As for the international signings, I had no idea where the Pirates looked for talent. Now I know that they have the third best facility in the Dominican Republic behind the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox. The Pirates signed Luis Heredia in 2010 as a sixteen year old. I would never had worried about that in high school.

Continue reading

12 Rounds of Deep Dish Pizza Starring Not John Cena & Not CM Punk

IMG_20130420_113741_460

It’s time to rob this train – Not John Cena

I went back to my parent’s place this weekend in Altoona, PA for my two nephews’ birthday joint party. This time around I remembered to bring Not John Cena and Not CM Punk with me because I knew I’d be able to use my dad’s 1952 (or ’53 he’s not entirely sure) Lionel O gauge train set to take some more pictures. My dad’s train set has gone from Christmas special to filling the majority of a 27’x27′ addition that I helped to design. Having a “movie set” helped this project. Since my parents don’t have anyone around anymore and can only dote on the grand kids when they head to Virginia, they’ve turned the train set into a seasonal set that changes for winter and summer. This set of pictures was done on the summer set. I wish I had this movie idea in place before embarking on this set of pictures but I still liked the product that I came out with. Since the view rate is always lower on our Facebook page, these photo journals will make it on to the site proper every time with additional information.

My dad was running the train at a very high clip which is why the train is so blurred. I figured there was nothing like a train robbery that started with some ludicrous way to get onto to said vehicle. Not John Cena looked better to have a jumping motion so he got set as the villain in this photo journal.

IMG_20130420_142447_223

I can’t let you rob this train Not John. These deep dish pizzas need to get to Chicago. – Not CM Punk

As you can see, there is green grass. During the winter set, it is covered in snow that my nieces help to do after Thanksgiving. I also did the remainder of the pictures after my dad had shut the trains down. To the left is the Steelers train which has a car for every Super Bowl victory along with an engine and caboose. He has three trains on the main platform. In the background is the trolley platform that has a European shelf which now contains the summer zoo that we bought for him this past Christmas.

Continue reading

Stunt Granny Audio #218

marilyn-monroe-red-bandana

OH my god, you better hide your heart because Kevin and Dusty are coming! The fearless duo reunited once again to talk about the latest happenings in the world of WWE. Paul Bearer recently passed away and they discuss some of his career highlights. Dusty segues into a digression about the backstage gang warfare going on in the WWF in the mid 90s. Which gang wore black hats and spelled “crew” incorrectly? Which gang wore red bandanas? Why couldn’t the Hart family even agree on which gang to join? Meanwhile, Monday Night Raw was actually pretty good (except for the abysmal announcing). A troupe of doods made their case for trying to end the Undertaker’s streak. Who prevailed? Why did Big Show just recently realize that if he h it somebody, it would probably hurt? Did WWE miss an opportunity with Zack Ryder? Finally, they talk a little football and call it a night. All that and a whole lot more, so listen for the god of love. Oh, and check this out:

Iron Man Sneakers link – http://www.cbssports.com/nba/blog/eye-on-basketball/21824068/video-lebrons-new-%22iron-man%22-shoes-are-awesome

Stunt Granny Audio Show #218

The Walking Hines Ward

hineswardzombie

Picture from Getty & AMC

Hines Ward was forced into retirement by the Pittsburgh Steelers before this past season. Well, not officially really but seriously? Come on. (Should I put a Super Bowl reference in here just to get some extra hits?) That hasn’t kept him from getting his Cheshire Cat grin more TV time. First it was NBC to do football commentary and then it was on to Rachel vs Guy: Celebrity Cook Off. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, he’s going to be a zombie on the second half of season three of The Walking Dead. How did he get this part? Let’s use Ward’s own words?

A former Georgia teammate of mine is one of the stars of the show, and my agent thought it would be something fun and different for me to do

Who is this star you might ask? It’s T-Dog who is famous for, um, well, being a black man and making it to season three of a show that kills off regular characters at a high frequency. They won’t get to act together since The Walking Dead has an unofficial rule where you can only have one black guy at a time so T-Dog got killed off in the first half of season 3. Tyresse will be taking over the reigns in the black character department. I wonder if Hines will get to eat his brains for taking over his friend’s spot? -Kevin

Stunt Granny Goes To @WWE #Raw

Just a reminder, I will be attending Monday Night Raw tonight. I’m excited that it’s the return of Jerry “The King” Lawler especially since I won’t have to listen to the commentary go back down the toilet again. I’m unhappy that I will be attending three plus hours of mediocre wrestling while my Pittsburgh Steelers are playing the Kansas City Chiefs in what is likely to be a rain soaked Heinz Field. I will have with me a sign just like the picture above. I will be seated in Section 104 so I should be in camera view. I will also be doing plenty of Tweeting but obviously no regular column. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed REview of @WWE #Raw

I’m an idiot for making plans to go to Raw while the Steelers play on Monday Night. They should slap around the Chiefs but I thought that about the Raiders & Titans. At least I get the returning of Jerry Lawler. Thank goodness I don’t get to hear that disaster.

The Miz tells Paul Heyman that him and Punk are full of crap. The Miz quits the team. Interesting start to the show.

R Truth just cut his best promo since the invention of Little Jimmy on Tout. They’re starting off with a six man tag match with no one important. Another interesting choice. Sin Cara starts off against Antonio Cesaro. I’m not happy about Rey Mysterio wearing the Frankenmask. Nothing happens before the first commercial break. At least they’re consistent about something. Mysterio getting the job of selling since Sin Cara can’t get that right either. R Truth gets the luke warm tag against Cesaro. Fun jaw jacker from Truth. A 619 by Rey puts Truth in position to give Cesaro the Downward Spiral for the win. They are really forcing that rivalry. It’s a nice stepping stone for Cesaro.

We get Vickie Guerrero and John Cena recap. Why are Jim Ross and Mitchell Cool wearing the same suit? Why is Jack Swagger in the crowd? My girl makes a good point in saying that a PG show shouldn’t be having a slutty storyline. For some reason the English crowd is eating up the bad Cena jokes. AJ goes into a door. This hotel has more security cameras than your average hotel. AJ is back stage somewhere because she will give Vickie the beating of her life. My boy Dolph Ziggler knows what AJ loves to do. For some reason, Cena chases after them. This storyline does feel like the AJ baby momma drama without the baby.

Paul Heyman is talking to Wade Barrett about joining Team Punk. Barrett doesn’t trust him. But Heyman is going to owe him one. The crowd is bonkers for Team Hell No. Daniel Bryan is wrestling Cody Rhodes. I’m tired of noting the people who do and don’t have entrances. They don’t give a care about the in ring product. The match length confirms it. Two guys who can go get three minutes at most. Rhodes with Cross Rhodes for the win. Rhodes runs his mouth after the match. They go to commercial as they tease a Kane vs Damien Sandow.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I don’t have an idea for my introduction so piss off. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out to a big ovation. You can still telling he’s favoring the right elbow. We got a three man booth of JBL, Mitchell Cool and Jim Ross. I think I can handle that. Cena shouldn’t be allowed out to babble. That guy has more focus problems than someone with ADHD. The crowd is moving over to more boos for CM Punk. The male demo is still trying. Most of us are choosing intelligently to leave. I’m obviously not intelligent. Ryback comes up after Cena wraps up. Wow, why is he wrestling Rosa Mendes with Epico & Primo? The WWE is rebuilding the tag team division now they’re going to crap on it. At least the WWE is consistent with something. Ryback wins by gently laying down E&P on their backs. Shell Shock is not a good name for that finisher.

Brodus Clay gets his full entrance but has been downgraded to wearing WWE paraphernalia. He’s wrestling R Truth. The segment Jeremy texted me better make up for this train wreck. Vince McMahon shows up to boot them from the ring. That is how desperate they are to fill time.

I blow thru Vince McMahon‘s entrance. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Vince introduces CM Punk perfectly by saying the action mattered which obviously got my reaction. I’m glad Vince told Punk that’s an ugly shirt. He finally whiffed on one shirt. The announcers have done a piss poor job of filling in the fact that Punk didn’t really win against Cena the last time. The fact that people are turning on Punk as much as they are is a testament to the quality of work he’s doing. The internet just wet himself again with the mention of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Vince sold that slap a bit more than he needed to. Ah, the firing is too good for you. I hate that logic. It should be a fun match between them. Not sold on Jeremy’s fanboy alert even though it was a really good segment.

JBL is quite the salesman. Arnold Schwarzenegger is everywhere these days. The Prime Time Players are in the ring when Rey Mysterio gets introduced. Sin Cara is going to get his own entrance. Shouldn’t you just intro both of them as teams? The half mask deal that Rey & Sin Cara are wearing look stupid. Young starts against Sin Cara. Nothing happens before the break. Rey looked at Titus as he came in and did nothing about it other than allowing Titus to break up the pin. Rey gets the pin after the 619 & Dropping The Dime. Good choice name wise but I like PTP better. Sin Cara is slowly getting better but still has a way to go. Paul Heyman tells Punk it’s a must lose situation. Punk, listen to your man. He didn’t say you can’t win. Heyman said if you win, your life will be a pain in the ass.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almst Live & Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Let’s just say that my neighbors were here for an uncomfortable amount of time. They even brought over a second round of beer. They watched half of Hawaii Five-O even though they said they didn’t like it. I figured it’d scare them off. No such luck. They even cock blocked me. Completely uncool. On top of that, I couldn’t start my review. I’m pissed. Let’s roll.

We start off with a montage from the John Cena versus Brock Lesnar review from Extreme Rules.  The injury has to be an angle. Couldn’t make it more plain than they just showed it all on TV, again. Johnny Wooden GM gets the mic to start the evening. Cena was proved to be a mere mortal. I always thought Cena was Thor’s brother. Johnny  introduces Brock. HHH comes to the ring before much can be said. HHH kills off all of Brock’s extras. HHH neuters Johnny even more than Brock did last week. Interesting tact for HHH to take. He called out his manhood in the process. Lesnar attacks HHH when he argues with Johnny. I’m guessing HHH sees money in this feud. HHH sells a broken arm. Some super baby faces make the save. I like the spoiled athlete angle they’re sort of using with Brock.

Eve is not rocking the librarian very well. Beat The Clock Challenge. I wonder if they got that from the NFL Draft this week. That first round flew by. The Steelers made their pick (next to last) at 11:56 PM last year. The draft was over no later than 11:05. The Miz takes on Santino. I’m going with the Miz but no way he’s the next contender. I love a good double axe handle from the top rope. Skull Crushing Finale at 4:18. Yep, that’s your US Champion.

They showed us the photos from the women’s match last night. Layla El comes out to mild applause. She gets to take on both Brie & Nikki Bella. Layla wins with a drop kick and a roll up. Yep, that’s your Women’s Champion. Chris Jericho hits the ring. He’s out for the Beat the Clock challenge.

They are loving the photo montages tonight. The Big Show is his opponent. This match should last longer than 4:18.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #Raw

We start the show off with a de-bait. Wokka Wokka.

We start with review of “Embracing The Hate” then Kane tells us he wants Cena to embrace it before the end of the night. Kabe also wants to take someone out of the arena in an ambulance. Wow, a debate to start the show? What an awful way to retread the same fifteen minute opening segment. Oh goody, we get Johnny Wooden GM to really set this show on fire. CM Punk gets to answer first. Dolph Ziggler says something but I can’t looking at his hideous vest. R Truth keeps up the comedy act. The Miz gets the next answer. He goes roast on his competitor. For some reason he gets the buzzer. Everyone else went long. He was right about Kofi being an afterthought. Kofi gets to retort. Still not sure why he doesn’t get more mic time. Chris Jericho gets to close the debate. I agree with my fellow alumni, this is fifteen minutes of my life I’m not getting back. Jericho’s jackets is somehow worse than Dolph’s vest. Trouble In Paradise. Nice exclamation mark for a soon to be jobbing Kofi.

Kofi against Jericho starts after the break. I’m glad Mitchell Cool informed us that the Walls of Jericho is a submission move. Kofi nails more Trouble but so blatantly left Jericho’s leg unhooked. If he hadn’t tucked Jericho’s arm, it wouldn’t have been as noticeable. Shawn Michaels hugs HHH back stage. I’ve got no goosebumps.

More Kane review. This time with Zack Ryder. John Cena is talking to a mystery man who happens to be Ryder. He’s got his back yet he’s going to leave him alone? Huh? Johnny and David Otunga get more TV time. Dave reminds us that Johnny isn’t the full time GM yet. Please, you can’t torture us with Johnny on both shows. Are you really that cruel to your fans? Why did it just dawn on me that Daniel Bryan is doing to Big Show what Kane is doing to Cena? Bryan is being much more successful. Mitchell Cool compliments Bryan by saying Big Show is more frustrated but then immediately runs him down when his music hits. I mean, really? The dumb level of this segment was a strong 100.

Then Cool calls Bryan a tremendous champion after the break. GAH! Big Show is taking on Randy Orton. Lawler calls shenanigans but Cool tells him to shut up so he does. What a puss. Another commercial break. That seemed awful quick. I still love Orton’s drop kick. Nice of Big Show to play along with that DDT. With the WWE’s even steven booking, Bryan losses on Sunday. Cool went back to hating on him after he left. It’s such a confusing message. It would be really tough to get me to agree that this angle is a good idea in any way.

Shawn Michaels gets the hour skit. Michaels babbles but it comes down so that HHH can give us the news we want, a HHH vs Undertaker rematch. Hey Shawn, we don’t want that. Shawn moves on to calling him a sell out. Business picks up when Shawn calls him a coward. Maybe we needed the meandering for that to pay off for the shift in tone. HHH is the end of a breed but then throws some jabs at the young guys. Not really good for business hoss. Look me in the eye honey! Tell me you didn’t cheat on me! HHH still says no to the match. Good build up thru non build up. The first 10 minutes was garbage. The last 5 was great. Was that the same video from last week?

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: