WWE Is The Worst? Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards At WWE Performance Center

American Wolves ToysAccording to Prowrestling.net, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards were at the WWE Performance Center on Monday. First, I had to laugh that even though Jason Powell didn’t bag on them like I did when Richards made a not so vague statement at Preston City Wrestling but he did come to the same conclusion that I did which is that these two ROH stars will spark the WWE Tag Team division. I’m not sure it needs sparking with The Shield (Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins), The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan), the Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O’Neil), The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger), Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando), 3MB (Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater), The Usos (Jimmy & Jey), Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) and the current champions Cody Rhodes & Goldust. I can’t believe I needed three lines of print to list all of the tag teams which also leaves out the maybe new team from last night of R Truth & Xavier Woods. So the WWE has nine tag teams with a tenth in the making. Does that sound like a company that needs to jump start their tag team division? I’m as guilty as anyone on the internet who buried, dug up and re-buried the tag team multiple times between about 2002 and now but I’d have to say no spark is needed currently. Could the WWE use another team? Sure, because they’ve got more TV time than any daily soap opera.

It was also amusingly noted that they spent time in the ring with Billy Gunn and NXT regulars. I’m not sure what exactly Gunn is going to teach them since he was bad on both the mic and in the ring. At least Richards & Edwards already have the in ring work down. I know the one thing Gunn could teach them is how to market themselves. No one forgets the Billy Gunn theme. No, not the big introduction he got from “Road Dogg” Jesse James during his New Age Outlaws days. This one. – Kevin

#WWE #Smackdown Spoilers

spoiler-alertSo before I get to the spoilers, let’s ramble about stuff that can be mentioned. The crowd was much smaller for Smackdown than the Raw that was here earlier this year. No one was in the upper deck. The hard camera had people in the next 2 sections beside it for Raw. They were tarped off last night. Columbus also got royally hosed with appearances. I understand that Smackdown is the #2 show but we got no Big Show, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, The Shield, my boy Dolph Ziggler or the McMahon Family. Now, I didn’t expect all of them to be there but none of them? Wow. Thirdly, it was a fun reminder of the change in crowd when you go from the expensive seats to the cheap seats. We sat around an interesting crew, some of which still believed wrestling is real. Yes, it is 2013.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

again fyalbSo I’m one of those dreaded people watching Monday Night Football during Raw thus hurting their average rating that has stayed pretty much steady for the last several years. The picture accurately describes my thoughts of the Steelers offense. Can’t argue about the defense too much. What are you going to do? Too early to panic but it could be another average or below average year if these patterns. It’s half time so I’ll do a little now and finish up after the game. Let’s roll.

Daniel Bryan is introduced as the new WWE Champion. I’m still thinking the other shoe will drop soon enough. I figured this feud was getting drug out with a cheap Randy Orton win. The Cleveland show already showing up with a “Daniel Bryan.” Strange things are afoot already. HHH comes down to ring side. Jeremy told me about the quick count. I glazed over that fact while reading the review. The referee has a name and it’s Scott Armstrong. Video dissection has come to Raw. It’s really annoying me that they’re using my own words against me. Holding people to standards of a regular corporation now using video evidence. Ah, it’s so much better that they “worked” in cahoots. Ugh. HHH strips him of the title. The irony of HHH’s speech is kind of funny. Randy Orton comes to ring side. Shouldn’t HHH have gotten to the bottom of this already? I’d love to have the NFL say “We’re going to wait 24 hours to reivew this positive test.” RKO by Orton as HHH walks away with the belt.

Wow, I mean, just a terrible offensive effort. The defense didn’t help by creating a turnover and taking some bad penalties on Cincinnati’s last drive. Stephanie and HHH are arguing when Randy Orton barges in. Steph threatens to find a new face of the WWE. Interesting turn of events. Dean Ambrose is taking on Dolph Ziggler in a rematch from last night. I’m really glad I didn’t order the PPV. They’ve undone the main event already and now repeat match. JBL is on fire already. Ziggler gets tossed to the outside for our break. Ambrose in control. Jerry Lawler finally makes a valid point in saying that HHH could be in cahoots with Armstrong. JBL took time to recover but responds to Lawler then starts laughing at himself. Dead give away he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. No wonder Jeremy thought he was drunk. Crowd solidly behind Ziggler. Small “Golden Flashes” chant. Zig Zag gets Dolph his win back. Much needed win for my boy. How did he win in kind of his home town? Not exactly excited that he’s in the IC Title hunt unless they decide to put any emphasis on it.

Brad Maddox is talking to HHH & Stephanie. She gets to belittle him again. I’m so blowing thru reviews and entrances tonight. This was all of consequence in that break.

R Truth is taking on Fandango. Holy cow, JBL is now mixing up the points that Lawler is making. Holy cow, allegedly JBL is drunk. JBL rips on Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler. I’m not even paying attention to the match. Top rope leg drop for the Fandango win. He needed a win too. Dusty Rhodes is talking to a bunch of people backstage.

Dusty Rhodes is delivering a Dusty promo even though he’s here as Virgil Runnels. Stephanie‘s music is so over the top. It doesn’t really fit her character at all. She gives him a gift card for for Bed, Bath & Beyond. Ha. She makes him decide between rehiring Cody Rhodes and Goldust. After more insults, Dusty Rhodes tells Steph to go to hell. The Shield is summoned. Stephanie asks Big Show to come out. I love the crowd finishing the Big Show’s song. Steph makes him choose between Big Show knocking him out and an attack by the Shield. Big Show cries. He scares off a Shield attack so he can do the honors. He’s sorry. KO punch then he gently puts him down.

Brie Bella is now a baby face. The Funkadactyls are wearing better ring gear. Layla, Alicia Fox & Aksana are the heels. Natalya’s head set was not working and it seems like a work because they are blaming AJ for its’ malfunction. Facebuster by Brie Bella for the win. Natalya yells at AJ and they have a stare down. The Miz & Brad Maddox are talking.

RVD is taking on Damien Sandow. At least he gets to job to a bigger name this week. Five Star Frog Splash as the losing streak continues for Sandow. It is funny having him brag after the losses. Keeps heat on him.

HHH is back stage with Scott Armstrong. How can Cool or Lawler not call JBL on some of his previous shenanigans to hold onto the title belt? Armstrong gets to nod as HHH lets him go. So, now we’re supposed to think of refs as important? I want Mike Chioda! Randy Orton comes out. The Miz gets attacked as he hugs his family. That’s why Dolph was let off the hook. His mom doesn’t live in Cleveland. Miz’s parents should be horrified by their look. Did they know they were going to be on TV?

The Miz decides to fight one armed. The only person to ever be hurt for any span of time by the stairs. Please take them in for a hair cut Miz. At least. This could actually get the Miz back on track. Let him go aggressive again instead of cheese dick huckster host of Summerslam. Hanging DDT off the barracade. Orton drops the knee while Miz has his head in a chair. Miz better be taking some time off even if he’s not really injured.

Paul Heyman comes out in a wheel chair with Ryback & Curtis Axel. Nexus is reforming. When does Wade Barrett join? Heyman pinned CM Punk. Heyman had no back up plan. He isn’t taking credit for his win. Nice little team they have going here for Heyman though. Ryback got his message across. Heyman then kissed him. Weird.

Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro are taking on Tons of Funk and the Usos. Each team is getting a crack at it early. Tensai gets to hold up Cesaro for a suplex. Tensai looking unusually good. Because of course they are the first ones eliminated. Cesaro rolled up Tensai. Commercial. Makes sense to have the Usos win since the Shield are champs. Jimmy Uso gets the hot tag. Swagger takes the beating. Cesaro breaks up a pin. Double over the top rop dive by the Usos. Patriot lock. Jimmy kicks out then super kicks Swagger. Jey tags in without Swagger seeing. Top rope splash for the Usos win.

Bray Wyatt gets another video message. He needs to put down some bad animals in his world. Good stuff.

Roman Reigns is in the ring when Daniel Bryan comes down. Randy Orton comes down after. I’m just tuning out the announcers at this point. It’s late and they’re rehashing arguments. There’s not much use in calling the match. Split screen showing the counts. I’m way too awake for the time it is, 1:27 AM. The only thing I can think is “Please call the match so I can rest my eyes” and “watch” the match. Randy Orton belongs on GQ. JBL is definitely, allegedly drunk. Close count after the head count. Rollins takes a brutal spill when Bryan drop kicks him thru the ropes. Randy Orton attacks Bryan when he had the Yes Lock on Reigns. Orton gets locked. The Shield attacks. I dropped water on my lap top. Yep, it’s late. Everyone empties from the locker room and attacks the Shield. Orton takes off. Seth Rollins is the last one in the ring because he’s the best seller. Why is this taking place on free TV? – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

acc-logoIt’s time like this that I’d love to have my cable box built in picture in picture. Not that I have a lot of hope for the Pittsburgh Panthers to defeat Florida State but I would like to keep an eye on it. I’m sure this review will now go slowly as I stop to check the score every commercial break. Let’s roll.

Just what I wanted to start the show, more HHH. So remind me as to why the McMahons were involved in this storyline when HHH was just going to take it over when the plan was revealed? He introduces Randy Orton. I’m not going to be able to handle more Mitchell Cool. That’s the other problem with using the same announcers from show to show, they argue the same stuff show after show. Cool & JBL had the same arguments on Smackdown as they did on Raw last week. Jerry Lawler doesn’t add any spice to the arguments. Or at least not enough. Orton finally gets mic time. He doesn’t do much with it. HHH gets to bore us some more. He gives us a lesson in popularity vs best for business. Daniel Bryan finally ends our misery. He delivered. Unfortunately, HHH gets to suck the air out of the place. Big Show is Bryan’s opponent for the night.

Man, things are starting to get ugly right before half. Cody Rhodes walks by a chummy HHH and Randy Orton. Rhodes of course gets himself in hot water with his potty talk. For some reason, HHH didn’t get an invitation for Rhodes wedding. Rhodes takes on Orton tonight. HHH promises that if he loses, he won’t have employment. Fandango is taking on the Miz. I didn’t need Mitchell Cool to talk about twerking. Plus, it always seems stupid that JBL & Cool do an online show where they always imply they’re friendly so why would they bicker so much on TV? JBL is trying but no one is joining him. FSU scored again after another INT. Pitt’s QB situation hasn’t gotten better this year. Fandango had control after the break. Fandango’s pants are fantastic. Cool sling shot leg drop from him too. Miz turned it into the Figure Four. The Miz wins for the first time in a while.

Booker T talks to Daniel Bryan about giving up the title match. Bryan can’t believe he just said that. We all saw that one coming, right? Not necessarily a bad thing. We get review of CM Punk/Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel. I’m mostly paying attention to my fantasy football draft during it.

Dolph Ziggler is waiting in the ring when Dean Ambrose attacks him from behind. He gets tossed shoulder first into the post. Ryback comes out as Ziggler’s opponent. They recycle the good employee arguments for Ziggler. JBL isn’t convincing even though he’s the only one making points. Ziggler gets a short run of offense. Shellshock. First time, he’s won in a while too. He was chickening out of matches. Stephanie is backstage with HHH. Brad Maddox informs them that Big Show is refusing to wrestle Daniel Bryan. We’re getting a public call out.

As if they listened to my column, Steph gets involved in the angle. Big Show made a bunch of bad investments. It isn’t an Iron Clad contract if they have clauses to fire him. Big Show makes a good puppy dog face with Steph pulling on his heart strings. Better than HHH.

Prime Time Players are taking on 3MB. Drew McIntyre is still the odd man out. Slater’s new ink looks pretty awesome. Darren Young gets to take the beating. Titus O’Neil gets the hot tag. Glad a big boot didn’t end the match. Sky High for the win.

Oh wow, just flipped back to the Pitt/FSU match up. Officially ugly. Brad Maddox is on the phone when Paul Heyman walks in. HHH comes in to defend the decision Maddox made. HHH doesn’t think Heyman can weasel out of this predicament but he wants to see him try. HHH wins with a weasel or a Heyman beating. Okay, so why is HHH now a fan favorite by making that decision and cutting that promo? Much better than earlier in the show. Bray Wyatt talks about Icarus. He talk like Kane is going to join his crew. I like the extended audition. I can’t stop thinking about Kid Icarus though.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Brad-Pitt-fight-club-body

I was a lazy ass for the site for this past week. I’ll home that trend doesn’t continue. I’m bummed that I didn’t get to my Guinness post for St. Patrick’s Day. That still may be coming. I still have to review the 6 beers I had in Nashville that are all brewed in the fine state of Tennessee. I only have one game to attend this week so I’ll hope to get typing more. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out in black & gold in Pittsburgh to try and get a better crowd reaction. It doesn’t help. His promo doesn’t have Wrestlemania Main Event written anywhere near it. Glad John passed by the Pirates. They have a great history, just not a recent one. This skit is leading to a squash match. Woof. I like the Prime Time Players most of the time. This one was a terrible effort at an inopportune time. This squash match even gets a commercial break. Just wow. Forget what I said two weeks ago about the WWE writers waking up. Five Knuckle Shuffle & AA finishes the match after the break. Recap of Smackdown with Mark Henry, Ryback & the Shield. That was the next break.

David Otunga is fodder for Ryback. The crowd finally gets to the chanting for the clothesline. Shell shock. I’m glad he’s addressing Mark Henry. Vickie makes their match for Wrestlemania. I guess SD has a story line for this week. Granted, everyone knows that the Big Show is going to be the other partner. I was scratching my head watching SD.

Holy cow, another Smackdown recap. They are loving the Fandango. The Great Khali is coming down to the ring for some reason. Fandango wants Natalya to take a crack at his name. He’s going into a Brian Fantana/Ron Burgundy territory hitting on her. I wonder if he’s going to have the parquet by the time they hit Cbus in late April.

I’m kind of digging the R Truth wife beater. The whole outfit is a bit much. Damien Sandow is a good foil for him. I liked both of their promos more than Cena’s. Sandow saves himself by rolling out of the ring and getting counted out. Am I smelling a Rhodes Scholars vs R Truth & Kofi Kingston at Wrestlemania? Kaitlyn interrupts the Bellas who are fawning over Cody‘s mustache. I think I smell a Diva’s Title match too. Rhodes should drop the Bellas. Not even a contest.

Undertaker allows me time to catch up. Undertaker is short and to the point. CM Punk playing with the urn is awesome. I’ve loved his switch in focus away from the title reign length. Good stuff but not much to it.

Daniel Bryan & Kane are taking on Rosa Mendes with Epico & Primo. Mitchell Cool said that the mask hides Kane’s expressions. I guess he’s missed every single skit with these two since they’ve been together. Kane looks like he’s going to finish off Primo when AJ Lee skips around the ring. Epico takes the loss instead. Big E Langston & Ziggler vs these two for the titles at WM? Chris Jericho is proud of his Intercontinental Championship total. He’s interrupted by Fandango. Silly Jericho has been in full effect since his babyface turn. He’s not all that funny in this mode.

My mutt Kia can’t decide where to sleep tonight. She just took my spot on the couch. I skip over Alberto Del Rio‘s introduction. At least he has stopped using the car entrance. Cody Rhodes gets to lose to him.  The old shoulder into the post trick gets Rhodes his save face offense. Scratch on that. We do get a commercial break. The live crowd got to see most of Cody’s offense. Mitchell Cool explaining the Cross Arm Breaker like it was a complicated concept was really weird. A part of the crowd starts chanting “USA!” Cody Rhodes taps out. Jack Swagger ambushes Del Rio again. What a fall by Rodriguez. Looked like he rolled thru fairly well though. Zeb Colter gets to back up so that Swagger can save him. Good sell job by Ricardo too.

Booker T is going into the Hall of Fame. Good for him. I would have expected him to get the nod when they go to Texas again.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live & Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

funny-baby-faces-piercing

The babyfaces prominently figure into the review of Smackdown and Raw from last week. We’re off and running too with Kane & Daniel Bryan coming out to start the show. The Shield are in a luxury box. Kane gives the normal manhood challenge. The Shield does the normal heel tactic of standing around. The Prime Time Players are caught in the middle of another angle. They won’t get traction this way no matter how long you keep them together. Dean Ambrose is left alone a short time into the match. Mitchell Cool is slowly going back to heel mode which is better than his previous incarnation. At least the WWE is smart enough to have security with The Shield.

The Shield keeps moving closer to the ring after the break. The big story is on the outside which brings me to the point above. Lawler was trying to sell them the whole match. Daniel Bryan with the cheap roll up win after near interference. The Shield is snuffing out some injustice. I’m trying to sell my girl on The Shield snuffing out the injustice of being an undeserving, character driven wrestler or tandem. John Cena & Sheamus have witty banter. I’m glad Sheamus has retired the Irish stories for the most part. He finishes strong.

“This man again?” pipes up the girl when they introduce Tamina. She is giving AJ Lee a lesson way too early for this feud. Of course AJ gets the cheap roll up win because the women aren’t worth a full on, to a pay per view feud. They officially get squashed when CM Punk almost immediately shows up.

Paul Heyman does all of the talking. He stole the Mount Rushmore gimmick from us. CM Punk is telling some tall tales. He denies alliance with Brad Maddox and The Shield. He asks people to leave the arena. Oh no, Jeremy warned me about this. The Miz is in a no win situation. He needs to get rid of the “Really?” crutch. Punk throwing down the proverbial punk card. The Miz wants him on his show for a lie detector test. Really? Pipe Bonn? You really screwed the pooch, Mike. The Miz must have been on Law & Order as an assistant DA.

John Cena & Sheamus come out to start the 9 PM hour. Should I compliment Cena on finally using black and gold? I’m liking Sheamus’s new shirt. Not the best thing but I’ve seen worse. The Big Show & Dolph Ziggler come down in time to have a slow start to a match before a commercial break at about 9:03. The opposites attract for the in ring work. Baby Momma Drama & The Girl try to team up on me about Dolph Ziggler and Kent State. John Cena gets the hot tag against Ziggler. Wow, another clean win for Cena over Ziggler. What the fuck are they doing with my boy? Shit or get off the pot with him. Why does he even have that brief case? Dear lord, they give The Miz more time but with his old show introduction.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

After not thinking about Stunt Granny since last Monday night, I feel recharged. Let’s roll.

Ryback comes out as Baby Momma Drama comes up top side. He’s babbling. Ryback comes down to fight Titus O’Neil. Good continuation from Smackdown. They should have acknowledged it in the video package. O’Neil is getting in good offense. What a weird way for Ryback to get the offense back. A weak toss into Darren Young? Should I start comparing him to the Steiners because of the clothes line thing? I might have to do that. Ryback’s promos are so simple.

The local wrestlers come out to get rid of Ryback. My girl starts complaining about Vickie Guerrero not wearing a bra again. Vickie gives Ryback the match at TLC. They are giving him a lot more rope to hang himself. He’s coming across as a maniac. I’m fine with it. Why are we getting replay of Hornswoggle and Rosa Mendes? It was just a joke according to Hornie. Rosa acts like a moron. Alberto Del Rio comes to her defense. The Great Khali makes the save. Oh, it’s back story for the match. Better than normal for a nothing match.

Alberto starts working over the arm early.  I have to see what items are 90% off. This match is ridiculous. Ricardo distracts Khali. Hornie bites his ass. Del Rio takes advantage. Why did they have the back story? This match was dumb. CM Punk comes in to complain to Vickie. My girl complains about the bra again. Paul Heyman tries to smooth talk her. Vickie tries to connect the dots with the masked men. Punk has to take on Daniel Bryan or Kane. Heyman answers Punk’s question about what’s wrong with her with “Everything.” Pretty funny.

Michael Cole talks to Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman something or another. He askes if they’re working for CM Punk. They wonder about why Vickie and Booker T need to listen to the WWE Universe. They say they are just doing what is right. They are the shield is the common theme. Roman ends the interview. They deliver a good promo but if they’re going to guard from injustice, they need to attack someone other than Ryback. If they want the Punk rumors to continue though, they only attack Ryback.

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