Kevin’s Blog: #ImpactLive Destination X

Special-EditionSince it’s Destination X, I decided to bust out the lap top. I had intended to start this earlier but life got in the way. A trip to the lady’s house then some Hawaiian BBQ delayed it. Here it comes now. Let’s roll.

They start with a nice retrospective on Chris Sabin‘s career. What X Division won’t take this chance? I doubt that Sabin comes out of this show with the belt though. Too much riding on Bully Ray in my eyes. Then again, I would have said the same thing about D.O.C. until the news earlier this week. Since Bully Ray has mic skills, he gets to come to the ring. He cares so little for his opponent, he calls out Brooke Hogan. She’s sick of his games. Well then divorce him dummy. You can hire a lawyer easier than he can. Ray, you’ve got no power to stay married to her other than her incompetence. Hulk Hogan makes the same argument Brooke did. The Main Event Mafia shows up for no reason. Not exactly starting the show well. Bobby Roode says “Fluke”. The future starts tonight. Decent enough.

Roode is taking on his old partner, Austin Aries with a fresh facial hair look. Watching even the beginning of this match, it makes me think that Austin Aries could break the size barrier like CM Punk & Daniel Bryan have. Commercial. Roode has turned himself into a good wrestler. I still think his mic skills lag behind though so I’m less sure of his WWE chances. Aries has the mic down. Brainbuster for an Aries win. Oh no, is Roode getting a losing streak gimmick? I think the right guy won but I usually don’t like where these stories go. For now, I’ll enjoy his little freak out. Homicide talks to Hernandez. Chavo Guerrero gives him respect. Hernandez does the least talking. Smart move again. I feel like grading every segment for some reason.

Ken Anderson gets to address D.O.C. leaving. He hand over his cut. He then gives a pep talk. Woof. Homicide is taking on Sonjay Dutt and Petey Williams. They’ve been behind Dutt more recently so I’ll expect him to win. The Gringo Killer and Canadian Destroyer are two cool finishers. Sonjay saves Petey after the Killer. Moonsault Double Foot Stomp for Dutt. Wow, what a move.

Kenny King takes on Suicide and Chavo Guerrero. King has been a favorite since his move over from ROH. A baby face won the first match, I’m going with him for the win. Oh that’s right, it’s Manic now. I’ve never been quite sure why guys who stop in the ropes stay there for so long. Manic air balls on a cross pin but Chavo rolls thru anyway. Barely anyone cheers for Chavo. King showing off the athleticism. Manic wins with an inverted Code Breaker. I think that’s the right description. The Main Event Mafia is fired up. Glad they’re taking a break from the X Division matches. Back to back was a bit much.

Chris Sabin gets a talk from Hulk Hogan. He tells him it’s his time for greatness. Sabin thanks Hulk. A reason Sabin wouldn’t survive in the WWE. Do I really have to listen to this dreck that Sting will start? Um, Aces & Eights is there. If you’re looking for them, why haven’t you found them yet? They’ve had a couple of segments. Kurt Angle gets his chance to suck. Magnus is ready. That’s all you’ve got after I pimped you last week? If you’re going to take the fight to them, you don’t call them out. Ken Anderson invites them backstage. Samoa Joe with a cameo from Rampage Jackson is the closing suck. Aces & Eights ambushed them. What a bunch of dumb baby faces.

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Stunt Granny Big 11, Week Ending 9/24/11

1. The Rock and John Cena – Between Rock’s Tweets and WWE.com’s news, word has leaked that the Rock and John Cena, in the midst of their blood feud, will be on the same team in a 5-on-5 elimination match at Survivor Series. Fantasy booking: Rock wants to “prove his leadership” (but really wants to make an ass out of Cena) and drafts team members Santino Marella, Zack Ryder and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, causing an all-star team of Alberto, Dolph, Swagger, McIntyre and a returning-as-a-heel-to-Raw Mason Ryan to line up as opposition. Rock is so out of touch, though, that he doesn’t know Santino and Ryder are capable of victory, slightly evening the odds. But when it comes down to Rock and Cena vs. Alberto, Dolph and Swagger, Rock leaves Cena lying. The biggest surprise: Cena loses. Print the money. – Eric

2. Dolph Ziggler – Dolph got a lot of press (Huffington Post, Yahoo News) for the alleged “hairline mandibular fracture” he suffered at the right hand of actor Hugh Jackman. Fake or real, WWE is in the news. Too bad the wrestler in the spotlight has a stupid name. – Eric

 
3. The Muppets – Jim Henson’s foamy creations will guest host WWE Monday Night Raw on October 31. OK, sorry, I didn’t think the phrase “Jim Henson’s foamy creations” would turn my childhood memories so awkwardly pornographic. – Eric

4. Mark Henry – The man is on a roll right now. He’s never going to be a 5 star technician but his mic work is second to maybe CM Punk currently and he’s playing the monster heel role to a tee. Let’s just hope he wins at Hell In A Cell to keep his beast mode going a bit longer. – Kevin

5. The Miz & R Truth – They’ve been talking conspiracy and HHH was all too kind to play right into their hands after they lost to CM Punk & John Cena by firing them. The WWE is doing a good job right now of getting their name out there in the press starting with CM Punk & HHH having a tiff at the San Diego Comic Con. Next up was Ziggler getting press as Eric noted. Now the “fired” duo of Miz & Truth get a show on SiriusXM. Smart move on their part to keep the names of those “quit” or “fired” on the minds of wrestling fans. – Kevin

6. What TNA Did Right This Week – For a change, Vince Russo didn’t write in a break up of Beer Money even though Bobby Roode has a shot at Kurt Angle for Bound For Glory. James Storm, the better of the duo in my opinion, is going to get stuck teaching a very green Gunner the ropes while Angle & Roode duke it out. TNA helped build up Roode as a contender and didn’t have Storm look like a chump when he wrestled Angle this week. – Kevin

7. Kurt Angle – Has this guy totally stopped lifting weights? After watching Impact he firmly falls into the “guy in your neighborhood you reluctantly wave hello to” category instead of their champion. It is impossible to take him seriously as an athlete with his jaundice look.  – Jeremy

8. ROH – They started their broadcasting days through Sinclair Saturday night. There were actually commercials for the show during ESPN on ABC’s college football game. This is more advertising in one night than through the entire history of the company. – Jeremy

9. WWE Network – Observe this:

WWE has sent out a survey today polling about ideas for the WWE Network. The direction they are talking about is it would be a monthly pay network, similar to HBO or Showtime, priced at between $7 and $12 per month. The fee would be part of a package that would include a number of stations including the NFL Network, NBA Network and Fuel TV (which will have a heavy dose of UFC live preliminary coverage next year).

It would offer 24 hours of programming, including new WWE produced shows that aren’t wrestling shows, repeats of both Raw and Smackdown, old footage, two nights of first-run live wrestling programming and a daily news show.

The biggest surprise is that WWE would apparently keep only the “B” shows on PPV, and would make WrestleMania, SummerSlam, Royal Rumble and Survivor Series exclusive to network subscribers and no longer offer them on PPV.

If they were to actually make that move, since they would be part of tiered programming and would only get a minimal part of that $7 to $12 fee, and certainly not nearly what the NFL or NBA would get, they would be giving up more than $25 million that the company earned in PPV revenue from Mania alone this year. That’s not throwing in revenue from the other three big events which may do another $20 million combined, perhaps more this year due to an expected upturn in Survivor Series.

The economics of the move on paper don’t make sense other than the company must feel it needs to have something so big to get enough carriages of the network coming out of the blocks.

Doing so would also likely kill the “B” PPV concept, because the people who are interested in PPVs would feel like they were getting the big ones for free, and be less apt to pay $44.95 for secondary shows.

In related news, WWE issued a second press release recently simply stating, “We have a bad idea.” – Dusty

10. Big Show – Another press release, ostensibly about a possible WWE Network show:

“How do you handle a hungry man? Just ask Bess Wight. Her husband is Paul “The Big Show” Wight, WWE Superstar and the world’s largest athlete! “Show” is seven feet tall and 425 pounds. Bess is bodacious, beautiful, and one big time cook! And if you think The Big Show is tough, you haven’t met his wife! Bess and Show are about to give viewers an all-access pass into the controlled chaos that is their kitchen. You’ll meet their friends, their families, and even some of Big Show’s fellow WWE Superstars – you never know who will stop by their house to whip up something delicious! Once you see this larger than life couple in the kitchen, we know you’ll be hungry for more!”

Isn’t it funny how much Big Show eats? He eats a lot!!! – Dusty

11. UFC 135 – I don’t give a flip if this isn’t wrestling related. I saw the show, and holy geez was it awesome. UFC is pro wrestling done right. From the personalities to the interviews to the video packages, everything is right about UFC right now. My boys Nate Diaz and Josh Koscheck were victorious, and Bones Jones surprised me by beating Rampage. He’s the real deal. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio #60

Godzilla and King Kong really knew how to rampage

Godzilla and King Kong really knew how to rampage

Dusty and Kevin take a spin on the turn tables this week. We talked on a couple of “old” topics that are keeping our interest, Jim Cornette & Bret Hart, a new star that could be created and his Vince McMahon-esque ex-employer,  Quinton “Rampage” Jackson & Dana White, then finally meander our way into talking about some of the problems on Raw with the lone highlight coming from a now replaced Diva and end on a positive note yapping about the quality of ECW.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #60

WWE Needs To Sign Rampage Jackson Like Now

Rampage don't play.

Rampage don't play.

So Rampage Jackson just issued a public statement announcing he was quitting the magical world of mixed martial arts fighting. I’m just going to quote the entire thing, because a.) it’s flippin’ awesome, and b.) it’s flippin’ awesome all the way until the end of it.

I’m done fighting.

The UFC has done a lot for me but I think I have done more for them. The UFC bought WFA to get my contract & they saved my life, so I felt loyal to them. They pushed me into a fight with Chuck Liddel even when I clearly stated I wasn’t ready to fight for the belt because the American fans didn’t know me but I took the fight and didn’t complain & after I won the American fans booed me for the first time which changed the way I saw them & it hurt me deeply.

Then before I can even get out of the cage they announced that I was fighting Dan Henderson without even asking me. After I beat Dan Henderson, I made history in becoming the first undisputed champion in MMA but was never even given the pride belt in the cage & I was never promoted as the undisputed champ. Later Anderson Silva was.

Then they had me coach TUF season 7 and fight Forrest and the fight was very controversial & normally when a fight is that close & controversial there is normally an instant replay. I can name a couple of instances. Instead they offered me the Vanderlei Silva fight which I gladly accepted even though I know it was a very risky fight for me to take because of all the drama that was happening to me at the time. I fought that fight with a jaw injury and then a couple weeks later Dana called me and asked me to fight Rashad. For the first time I said no, I didn’t want to fight because it was such short notice & I wouldn’t have had a long break between camp. Dana talked me into fighting Rashad anyway but Rashad refused the fight and so I had to fight Jardine as a favor to the UFC instead of getting my belt back (which wasn’t even worth it to me financially).

Then I reinjured my jaw in the fight with Vanderlei & Jardine. Frank Mir gets hurt so they wanted to switch my fight from UFC 100 to the fight Frank couldn’t make it to but I couldn’t fight cause I needed jaw surgury. So they give Machida the fight against Rashad & they told me they want me to coach TUF season 10 against Rashad. That’s why I wanted Rashad to win so bad but when Rashad got knocked out I told them I wanted to fight Machida for the belt but Dana told me if I coach TUF against Rashad that I could fight Machida afterwards cause this was a different type of ultimate fighter show they were doing. After I signed the contract Dana then changes his mind & says I have to fight Rashad & even told me what to say in the press & so my fans think I was scared to fight Machida. After all that I still never complained & I did it all.

Then this movie role came about that I have been trying to get for over a year & as soon as I found out I was close to getting it, I called Dana right away & asked to push the Memphis fight back just a month or so. I told him what this movie role meant to me. I told him that I used to bond with my father watching the tv show as a kid when my parents where still married & it represents the memories I had with my father when we lived together. My dad became an alcohalic & addicted to drugs & we grew apart. But after my dad got his life back together, I was so proud of my dad & I told him I would always take care of him in the future & make him proud of me. My dad & I are still very big fans of the show & I am basically doing this for the childhood memories I had spending time in front of the tv with my dad. Dana went on the internet & mocked me because of that & I still did nothing. Dana & I finally talked & we made up & then after that he went back on the internet & said some ******** & he was talking bad about the movie when information is not even supposed to be released & talking about payments which is not even true could really hurt my future acting career, which could very well last longer than my fighting career. I’m not like Randy Couture. My body has been getting so many different injuries that I wont be able to fight until my forties & neither do I want to fight that long. So I feel like my second career could be in jeopardy.. so I’m done fighting. I’ve been getting negative reviews from the dumb ass fans that don’t pay my bills or put my kids though college. So I’m hanging it up. I’m gonna miss all my loyal fans but hopefully they’ll follow me to my new career & I will gain more loyal fans along the way. & all you hater fans out there can kiss my big black hairy ass! & anybody that don’t like what I just said can come try to kick my ass!

I still feel the UFC is a great organization and I felt like I was very loyal to them but they didn’t respect my loyalty but I wish the UFC the best. I did a lot of things for them. I wish no bad blood between us but I have kids & a family back in Memphis to provide for & thats all that matters to me!

Now, not every MMA fighter should be a pro wrestler, and not every wrestler should be an MMA fighter. Obviously. But Rampage Jackson should be a pro wrestler. I have no doubt in my mind that he would succeed. He has good size, a good look, he can talk, and he might be legitimately insane. With some proper training, Jackson could do very well for himself in the world of professional wrestling, and make some good money doing it.

A lot of people on the internet think they have all the answers, and they think they know exactly how to fix every facet of the wrestling business. I have no such pretentions (although I do like to come up with ideas myself, sure) but I do think if it’s possible to do it, WWE should sign Jackson (and Angelina Love, if that is possible) TONIGHT. Right now. Get it done and start working towards making money with him. Because I think the potential is there for lots of money to be made. And that used to be what wrestling was all about. – Dusty

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