Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

A_Lot_Going_OnSo I have plenty going on these days. I got engaged for the second time. I traveled to one of the more pathetic 20th Reunions in the history of reunions. Good thing we had quality time with the family and a pair of friends I talk to every time I head back to Altoona. Then there’s the big announcement. It keeps getting teased but it’s almost ready. I promise. No more teasing, on to Raw. Let’s roll.

We get a replay of the opening and closing segments from Raw last week. Roman Reigns comes out. I did notice on Smackdown that they’ve tweaked Reigns outfit. Not sure I like it any better. Reigns didn’t exactly tear the house down with his first big mic time. He tried to have extra swag but he didn’t sell it to me. Reigns pulling out “Bitch” to Kane is the exact word you use for a reaction but you can’t sell it. Reigns had the early upper hand but Kane took over just before the refs and agents came to the ring. Reigns goes bananas on the agents and Superman Punches Kane. Good thing Dean Malenko got out unhurt.

The Wyatt Family in the form of Erick Rowan & Luke Harper appear in the ring with little fan fare. The Usos get to do their Haka dance still. Jimmy started against Rowan. Harper got things moving in the right direction for the Wyatts. Rowan scres up so that Jey can come in. Rowan makes up for it quickly. Mitchell Cool noted using the tattoos to tell the Usos apart. Shouldn’t you describe them? Because that is a good tip. The right arm is inked differently. The word “Fatu” down Jimmy’s arm. Pretty sure Jey has it also except he added tattoos around it to look like a partial sleeve. My favorite move is applied by Rowan when we come back from break. Stupid knuckles. Cool then pretends he forgot which Uso was in the ring. There hadn’t been a tag during the break. Jimmy does get the hot tag. Flying Jey takes out Rowan. Harper attempts a suicide dive but gets punched. Super kick by Jimmy only gets a two count. Harper crotches Jimmy on the top rope. Jey breaks up a sit down power bomb. One of the great rivalries is mentioned by the announcers. Harper hits the Clothesline From The Bayou for the win. Oh, they’re playing up the mix up. No wonder Michael Cole cut himself off. I’ll guess they didn’t tell him this angle was coming. (Next Day Note: It was interesting to see “Twin Magic” back fire since I’ve only ever seen it work.) Randy Orton is commiserating with Kane about having backs at Battleground. Seth Rollins picks up on the “solidarity.” Rollins stirs the pot by mentioning cashing in the briefcase. Everyone hates each other.

Nikki Bella is fighting Alicia Fox while both have one arm tied behind their backs. Fox ends up assaulting Nikki. JBL should be creaming Cool about the conspiracy theory. Instead, he only brings up Roswell. Alicia Fox has been snapping on TV for weeks now. Just say she’s been crazy for at least a month now. How hard is that? (Next Day Note: Would the producers tell the JBL not to go the simple route?)

Lana is cut off by RVD. Thank you. Rusev is around too. RVD hits a tornado DDT early. Rusev tosses him off the top rope. Rusev gives RVD the knees and fall away throw. Zeb Colter challenges Rusev to a match at Battleground. Rusev stomps on RVD. This match is confusing me. RVD winning does nothing for the Swagger feud. Isn’t part of the appeal that an American will beat the “Russian”? Rusev beating RVD means that he’s going to beat Swagger, right? RVD hits the side kick off the top rope. Rusev heel kicks RVD. Rusev locks in the Accolade for the win. Swagger has to be losing. (Next Day Note: RVD isn’t below Swagger in the depth chart, right? Still need to check the next day.)

sign

Randy Orton gets to take on Dean Ambrose again. Randy Orton got the early upper hand but gave way to some offense by Ambrose. Orton stops it with a big clothes line. Orton plays to the crowd too long. Ambrose tosses Orton out of the ring to take us to a break. Orton got to work over Ambrose’s shoulder during the break though. He continues to do so. Ambrose buys time with a DDT when Orton goes early for a back drop. Ambrose knocks Orton down. Ambrose locks in a Figure Four. Orton gets to the ropes. Ambrose comes up short on the jump. Orton tries to cover but even the announcers are trying to cover for it. The crowd is weird. I swear I’ve heard it loud but they weakly chanted “You fucked up.” Ambrose tosses Orton into the barricade. Ambrose starts playing with furniture. Orton tosses Ambrose bad shoulder first into the post. then over the barricade. Hanging DDT off the barricade. Ambrose barely beats the count. He looked like a fish flopping back into the ring. Ambrose goes for the sling shot clothesline but gets hit by the RKO. Fun match. That’s why I don’t understand the crowd apathy. Renee Young gets to look cute while talking to John Cena yet again. He is the biggest target in the WWE. He lives to be the target. Roman Reigns strolls in. He wishes him good luck. They have a nice little exchange. That’s more Reigns speed of segment. Just keep him in a more controlled environment.

Fandango is on the head set. Alberto Del Rio is taking on Dolph Ziggler. Fandango has to put on his voice too much with a head set. Enziguri after Ziggler gets caught in the ring apron. The winner faces Sheamus tomorrow for the US Title. Layla is primping it according to Fandango. Del Rio pushes ziggler head first into the post. Del Rio then reverse suplexes him from the top. JBL implies there could be more than two women. DDT by Ziggler for a two count. Drop kick by Ziggler turns things around. Fame-Asser for a two count. Fandango starts dancing on the announcer’s table. Del Rio kicks a distracted Ziggler in the head for the win. Of course a heel would face the baby face champ. I hope Chris Calamita covers that. Stardust and Goldust are putting together some good weird stuff.

Fandango runs into Layla back stage. He only has eyes for her. You see him looking at Summer Rae who is awfully well lit in that random rear hallway. Jerry Lawler then gets to introduce Bret Hart. Canadians are so predictable. The crowd is eating it up. He is interrupted by Damien “Bret Hart” Sandow. Third World Country didn’t get the heat expected. Bret punches Sandow out of the ring. Sandow looks like Grumpy Cat. Sheamus comes out. He hugs Bret in the ring. (Next Day Note: I wasn’t the only one expecting Hart to be out there longer, right?)

Sheamus and Sandow start their match after the break. Sandow is in control. Sandow drops down a fore arm. Sheamus grabs Sandow’s beard. 10 Clubbing Blows. Canadians like to count too. Brogue Kick for the win. Yep, about what it deserved. Renee Young interviews the Miz who reads a letter from a fan. He lauds himself and runs down Chris Jericho. He gets thousands of letters like this one. What would the fans lose without his face? Wow, close up of his fist. Woof even for the gimmick.

My woman every time "Jeri" hits the stage.

My woman every time “Jeri” hits the stage.

Chris Jericho comes out for his match for the Miz. Jerry Lawler talks about Cleveland. Miz is protecting his face. Jericho drop kicks him off the apron. Jericho bull dogs him when they get back in the ring. Miz tosses Jericho out of the ring. Miz drives Jericho into the apron. Miz tries to wear him down. Double axe handle by Jericho from the top. Miz kicks Jericho in the face. Jericho dodges then hits an enziguri. Miz kicks out Jericho’s leg then DDTs him. Miz locks in the Figure Four. Popular tonight. Jericho gets to the ropes. Jericho whacks Miz in the face. Walls of Jericho for the win. Bray Wyatt wants Jericho to save us. He tells Jericho that the Jericholics aren’t behind him any more. Jericho wants a piece of Wyatt. Harper & Rowan show up. Stalemate.

We get replay of AJ Lee winning the Divas Title. Paige comes out. She introduces AJ Lee. It could be interesting of Paige became AJ’s new Tamina. Cameron won’t tag in to Naomi. Paige takes over because of the non-tag. Cameron starts putting on lip gloss. Paige comes in. They double clothesline each other. Cameron gets in. Paige Turner because she’s distracted. The Funkadactyls fight. Funk is on a roll. That pun needed to happen. (Next Day Note: I know Paige isn’t the intimidating presence Tamina was but I think she works better as a lackey.)

Paul Heyman introduces himself and Cesaro. The later acts like French Canadian is a crappy language. They’re trying to get him some boos. Kofi Kingston is his opponent. He drop kicks him out of the ring. Kingston slams Cesaro into the apron. Cesaro trips up Kofi on a spring board. Cesaro jumps on Kofi from the apron. Kingston gets caught by Cesaro. Press slam gut buster. Kingston rolls up Cesaro again for the win. Cesaro assaults Kingston. Big E comes out for the save. I’m so confused. Why? (Next Day Note: So you have Cesaro win the Andre the Giant Battle Royal in grand fashion then pretty much only dump on him after? Even Paul Heyman can’t help losing to Kofi in back to back weeks.) Seth Rollins comes in and tells John Cena he’s going to pin the best champion ever. Cena tells him not to get a big head with the brief case. He wonders if Rollins can still scrap.

Bo Dallas comes to the ring for a match against El Torito. Bo never ducks out of a challenge. Bo gets down on his knees. Torito slaps him. He head butts him in the stomach. Running Bo-Dog. The Streak is alive.

The entrances for John Cena & Seth Rollins allow me to nearly catch up. Rollins gets Cena in a pinning predicament early. Break. A flipping reverse DDT by Rollins only gets a two count. Cena with a side slam. Sit down power bomb by Cena only gets a two count. Rollins catches Cena going to the top with an enziguri. Rollins misses a splash.  Five Knuckle Shuffle. Rollins flips out of an AA. Cena turns it into an STF.  He pulls Rollins away from the ropes. Kane comes out. Randy Orton attacks from behind. Roman Reigns music hits. Superman Punch to Kane. And another for Orton. Rollins nails Reigns and Cena with the brief case. Rollins calls for an official. Dean Ambrose attacks Rollins. I don’t feel like the WWE has had this kind of set up before with the MITB holder. AA to Orton. Spear to Kane. The baby faces stand tall. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Presents: We Watch Stuff Podcast #5

There are no firm rules for this podcast so talking about wrestling is just something that will happen from time to time. But first Shahid and Jeremy talk about the opening weekend for Transformers: Age of Extinction. Did Shahid like it and if so how when nearly no one else did? Yeah a lot of people watched t but have you seen those review scores? Sheesh. Anyway, why did one studio call out Paramount as being huge liars? Is that reaction even warranted? What was the deal with Roddy Piper and Bad News Brown anyway? Who the hell though that was a good idea? How was the Money In The Bank match for our hosts? Who had the bump of the match? Was there anything shocking at all? Who was the MVP of the show? All of these questions are answered all you have to do is listen.

 

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #WWE Money In The Bank

From howstuffworks.com

From howstuffworks.com

My first wrong prediction hits early with the Usos coming out to defend their Tag Team Championship against Erick Rowan & Luke Harper from the Wyatt Family. I’m digging the new shorts for the Usos. Harper & Rowan are starting an early beat down on Jimmy. Jey gets tagged in to turn things around. Jey gets tossed into the barricade from the top rope. Harper gets to start the new beat down. They tag in & out to continue it. Harper cleans Jey off the apron to maintain the beating. Rowan misses a splash. Then rams his shoulder into the post. Jimmy gets the hot tag. He gets to do a corner splash. Samoan Drop for a two. A pair of super kicks gets two. Jimmy saves Jey from getting fall away slammed. It almost back fires. Sit down power bomb gets a two count. Both Usos are down outside. Jimmy gets double slammed. Jey makes the save. Rowan goes to the top rope. Jimmy crotches him. Cool double superplex by the Usos. Two splashes by the Usos for the win. Great plan to get the crowd fired up. Good work by both teams.

Dean Ambrose thanks Seth Rollins for putting him in the match. He tells Rollins that he will take home the briefcase and that Rollins will need to face his daddy with disappointment. I am wrong again as Naomi comes out for her match for the Divas Title against Paige. They won’t break up a lock up. Paige gets flipped to the floor. Naomi cross body blocked Paige on the outside. Naomi hits another cross body in the ring. They counter pins into a Naomi submission. Paige knocks Naomi off the top rope. Naomi falls off to the outside. Ouch. That looked bad. Paige kicks Naomi on a roll through. Stump puller submission by Paige. Flying clothes line by Naomi. Rear view for a two. Kick to the head by Naomi. Paige gets her knees up on a splash. Paige with a super DDT for the win.

I took a break to work on my bathroom. Still need to put the doors back on their hinges. Damien Sandow came out as Paul Revere and ran down Boston. Adam Rose comes out with the Exotic Express. Shoulder block into a charging Sandow. Rose pulls out all of his off kilter offense. The announcers give us a historic run down of Revere’s life. The Elbow Is Coming! Ha. Rose turns out of a chin lock. Rose punches him. Sandow clothes lines a charging Rose. He kicks out. Sandow misses a moonsault. Rose nails the Party Foul for the win.

The announcers tell us that Wade Barrett is out of the match. No replacement is named. Everyone gets a little promo time except Ambrose who got his own. Will that be telling of who the winner is? Seth Rollins strolls out first. RVD, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston and finally Dean Ambrose. Boom drop on Swagger early. Kofi goes for it early. Ambrose pushes the ladder over but Kofi hits four people. Underhook suplex by Ambrose on Rollins onto a ladder. Ambrose tries to go up but the crowd recovered. Kofi & Ziggler fight at the top of the ladder. Rollins whacks them with a ladder. RVD monkey flips Rollins onto a ladder. RVD tosses Rollins into a ladder. Rolling thunder on Rollins on a ladder. Step thru heel kick on Swagger by RVD. He then nails the Five Star on Swagger. Kofi stops RVD. But not for long. They fight on the top rope. Swagger nails them with a ladder. Swagger drags RVD to the top of a ladder. Swagger gets tossed off. Rollins attacks RVD on the ladder. Swagger Bomb on RVD, who should be taking a break. Ambrose with a superplex from the top of the ladder. Both men stay down. Wile E. Coyote cam is awesome every MITB PPV. Swagger catapults Ziggler into a ladder. He slams one into Kofi. Swagger Swagger Bombs Kofi. RVD makes the save. Ambrose & Rollins start fighting. Ambrose gets attacked by Swagger. Ambrose pushes the ladder before Rollins can get the brief case. The doctors take Ambrose away. RVD stops Rollins from getting the case. Kofi builds a bridge. RVD kicks Rollins but falls off the ladder. Kofi back drops Rollins onto the bridge ladder. Ziggler stops Kofi from winning. Ziggler starts cleaning house. Zig Zag to Kofi onto a ladder. Ziggler climbs the ladder. Swagger puts him in the Patriot Lock. Ziggler kicks Swagger. Too slow to win it. Rollins whacks him with a chair. Ambrose comes back out and attacks with a chair. Ambrose is about to grab the case when Kane shows up. Choke Slam on Ambrose. Tombstone. Rollins climbs the ladder and grabs the brief case. I got one right! (Next Day Note: I started wondering last night how many times I typed ladder. That number is 16.)

Stardust & Goldust are taking on Rybaxel to cool off the crowd. Ryback takes on Stardust. Stardust wins with speed. Goldust comes in. Curtis Axel is now wearing a singlet. You’re still not your father. Ryback wears down Goldust. Axel comes in to continue the process. Ryback plants Goldust with a spine buster. Back elbow by Goldust gets the opening he needs. Stardust cleans house. DDT by Stardust. Axel accidentally hits Ryback. Stardust rolls him up for the win.

I miss the skit with Layla, Fandango & Summer Rae to get a beer. Coronado Brewing Company Idiot IPA. Lana is extolling Rusev when I come back. This new Big E delivery isn’t doing it for me. Big E gets the better of the early slugfest. Rusev knees Big E who was going for a shoulder block. Rusev with forearms. Rusev gives him a reverse chin lock. Rusev misses a splash. Belly to belly suplex by Big E. Rusev knees Big E into the corner. Judo take down or urinogi for Big E. A clothesline by Big E. He counters a Rusev move. Big spear thru the ropes. Rusev head kicks Big E. Leg lariat by Rusev. The Accolade. Rusev doubles down and wins. Good showing for both men.

I don’t write much about the Stephanie encounter with the Bellas because it’s filler. Fandango comes out first. Summer Rae is next. Layla comes out with a mask on. I’m surprised they didn’t scrap this match. Introductions for the other match will take a while. Layla puts Summer in an Indian Death Lock. Did the announcers dance around it’s name? Layla kicks Summer in the face for the win.

I would figure the back up plan for HHH tonight is have Seth Rollins cash in if Kane or Randy Orton don’t win. I haven’t noticed the ppvs going long now that they’re on the Network. I feel like this match is going to be shorter than I expected. Sheamus is a dummy and uses the short ladder in his first attempt. Kane sandwich with Sheamus & Roman Reigns. Alberto Del Rio beats on Reigns. Kane tosses everyone off the ladders. Chokeslam on Del Rio & John Cena. Kane picks up Orton by the throat but tosses him on the ladder to climb it. Reigns stops Orton. Super upper cut by Cesaro. Bray Wyatt leaves Cesaro & Sheamus hanging. They both tumble down. Orton brings out another ladder. Sheamus attacks him. Sheamus slams Orton’s head into a bridged ladder. Hanging DDT by Orton on the same ladder. Orton climbs for the belts. Everyone stops him. Kane knocks down Cesaro & Reigns. Sheamus fights Kane. Sheamus beats on Kane. Sheamus shoulder blocks Reigns. White Noise to Orton. Brogue Kick to Cena. Sheamus tosses Orton out of the ring. Kane snags Sheamus. Kane gets thrown into the steps. Cesaro bridges a ladder. Cesaro & Sheamus fight at the top of the ladder. Reigns lifts the ladder up. Sheamus & Cesaro fight at an angle. Cena sets them right. Cool spot. Wyatt tosses Cena down. Sheamus gets pulled down by Kane & Orton. Reigns spears Kane. Orton whacks Reigns with a ladder. Superman Punch on Orton. Sheamus gets sent out. Reigns cleans up at ringside. Reigns faces off with Cena. They punch away. Reigns spears Cena. He sets up a ladder. Orton attacks. He ends with a back breaker. Wyatt stops Orton & hits Sister Abigail. Del Rio stops him. Del Rio side kicks Wyatt. Sheamus tosses Del Rio off the ladder. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick. Upper cut & Neutralizer. RKO on Cesaro. Reigns stops Orton. They fight on the ladder. Kane choke slams Reigns. Orton is bloody & going for the belt. Cena AAs both Kane & Randy Orton. Cena climbs the ladder to win the the WWE Title. I got the big two matches right. – Kevin (Next Day Note: 14 times in this match for a grand total of 30 ladder mentions. Once as a plural.)

 

#WWE Money In The Bank Preview

The Federal Reserves vault of coins. From npr.org.

The Federal Reserves vault of coins. From npr.org.

Money In The Bank Contract MatchKofi Kingston vs RVD vs Dolph Ziggler vs Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose vs Wade Barrett vs Jack Swagger – If I were the WWE, this match would be the opener. What better way to keep the Championship match winner on his toes than to open up the PPV with this one? Let’s start a process of elimination for winners. Wade Barrett seems to have been injured at this week’s Smackdown taping but as of now the final diagnosis hasn’t been given. It has been rumored as fairly significant by Bleacher Report. I agree with them that he could have been a potential winner in this match. Even if it’s only a minor injury, it seems bad enough to keep him out of the PPV so he’s out. Kofi Kingston is there for his spot and that’s all. RVD was the butt end of 2005 jokes by Seth Rollins this week. That’s exactly why he isn’t winning this match. RVD isn’t on the level to get one last run. Jack Swagger is there because the announcers can say he was a former World Champion. It’s pretty easy to whack those four. I made an argument this week on Stunt Granny Audio 260 that I don’t think Seth Rollins is going to win it. I believe that Dean Ambrose will cost him. Jeremy picked Ambrose to win it. But there could be a scenario that Dolph Ziggler takes advantage of the two warring Shield members and grabs the case. I doubt that happens though. I’m going against my own instincts and picking Seth Rollins. He seems like he’ll hold it over people’s heads for a while and then cash it in down the line.

Summer Rae vs Layla with special guest referee Fandango – I would imagine the WWE will book a breather match after a ladder match. A women’s match that was made on Main Event and confirmed on Smackdown is the perfect answer. I still have no idea who I’m supposed to cheer for. Summer Rae is a heel on Total Divas, NXT (Thanks for the write ups Chris), Raw and Smackdown. Layla is a heel with a heel partner in Fandango. Summer Rae & LAyla have gone back and forth with catty trashings so I can’t even guess with even steven booking rules. I’ll go with Total Divas rules, Summer Rae wins.

Rusev vs Big E – I’m supposed to care that Big E is from the US. I’m supposed hate Rusev because he is “Russian” even though he has a Bulgarian flag on his shoulder. I’m supposed to find Lana hot. That part has been accomplished by the WWE. The other two parts are are unfulfilled. This match should be that of two power houses colliding but is just a match with no real stakes. Big E has had a downward trajectory since winning the Intercontinental Title. Rusev has gone nowhere quick. The WWE hasn’t fed him anyone of consequence. If they felt he was catching on, he could have beaten Dolph Ziggler, the Great Khali or Mark Henry. I think Rusev still has enough new toy shine on him to get the win. Congratulations, every male will still just care about Lana.

Luke Harper & Erick Rowan vs The Usos for the Tag Team Titles – I think the WWE will only book title matches back to back on this PPV at the very end since the Divas Title doesn’t really count. After a couple of snooze worthy match ups, we get what should be the third best match of the night. The Usos have gotten themselves over well. Harper is starting to separate himself from being in Bray Wyatt’s shadow. Erick Rowan is still in Wyatt and Harper’s shadow. I think that’s precisely why the Wyatt Family will win this match. The Usos can recover from a loss. They might even be able to move on as singles competitors since that is the WWE way. For the time being, Rowan is dependent on Harper and to help push the Wyatt agenda of taking over the WWE, they win the tag team straps.

Stardust & Goldust vs Rybaxel – This match was added on Smackdown also. I’m getting a kick out of Cody Rhodes re-inventing himself yet again. We had The Legacy version of him, “Dashing” Cody, “Old School” Cody with the white strap on the IC Title, Rhodes Scholar with a brief appearance of mustache Cody, straight man to Goldust and now Stardust. The guy knows how to keep himself on TV. Ryback & Curtis Axel are just window dressing in this match. They could take a page out of Cody’s book and re-invent themselves with some gimmick. Or they could pull a Goldust and find a persona that Vince loves so much that he uses him over three decades. Whatever Rybaxel does in the future is immaterial for the time being. Stardust & Goldust win this one easily.

Naomi vs Paige for the Divas Title – Naomi looked like she was on her way to a championship reign when Aksana decided to bring that to a halt with an errant knee to the orbital bone. She hasn’t gotten much traction since her return to the ring. Paige is starting to get a following. Having her duel with Cameron on the head sets this past week was a middle of the road effort. Cameron had no leg to stand on with her arguments since Paige had already beaten her twice. It’s hard to come up with trash talk other than “I beat you twice” when you’ve made a person tap on both occasions. I think Naomi’s drought for the title would play out much better if Cameron costs her the match tonight so that Paige retains. Naomi and Cameron can have a feud then Naomi and Paige can meet up later down the line.

Money In The Bank WWE Title MatchKane vs Sheamus vs Alberto Del Rio vs Cesaro vs Roman Reigns vs John Cena vs Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt – This match has about the same possibilities of the other ladder match. Though I’d be less surprised by some of the winners in this situation. Alberto Del Rio is not one of those options though. Neither is Kane. I wouldn’t be completely shocked if Sheamus won it but I don’t think it’s his time right now. Randy Orton is a possibility but he hasn’t really gotten TV time recently so I don’t think he’s going to win it either. I’d give Cesaro more of a chance to capture the WWE Title than Dolph Ziggler of winning the contract but I still think it’s a little early in his push for the top for that to happen. It’d also create and awkward spot for Heyman who continues to appropriately mention his other client, Brock Lesnar. Bray Wyatt has a real chance to win but much like Cesaro, it seems early in his run. He has the possibility of the rest of the Wyatt Family to help him win the title since these types of matches are no DQ. The WWE doesn’t tend to have that determine a title victor of this magnitude though. Harper & Rowan may interfere but I think the other contestants bounce them in prompt fashion. Roman Reigns has been getting some big moments from Summerslam, Survivor Series and the Royal Rumble. Could this be his big crowning acheivement? It’s possible but like many of the competitors in this match his relative inexperience, especially on the mic, I don’t think he’s getting the strap. That leaves me with John Cena. I don’t like that pick but he seems the most logical to me. I would think a strong heel would be best in this situation so that whenever Daniel Bryan returns, he can feud with them but the WWE is fresh out of those guys unless you count Orton. The WWE though loves dueling chants so we’ll have John Cena vs Daniel Bryan sooner rather than later.

Stunt Granny Audio #258

Malkin-meets-Putin-thumb

Vladimir Putin is not impressed by Evgeni Malkin. From penguins.nhl.com.

We’re back with an audio show about wrestling. How about that? Who is we though? Well, it’s Kevin and Shahid after a few technical difficulties. The list of topics was so simple that they kept on running into each other. They started off with the easiest topic, Daniel Bryan being stripped of the WWE Title. Who does the WWE give the title to? John Cena? Randy Orton? After those two, the WWE roster gets pretty thin at the top since CM Punk left and Daniel Bryan out due to injury. Would the WWE bring in Brock Lesnar to be champion? Why is Paul Heyman still touting him at every turn if he doesn’t come back for a shot he said he wanted before Wrestlemania? How awkward would it be if they decided to give the strap to Heyman’s other client, Cesaro? Would any of the young guys like Cesaro be considered? The WWE is giving us plenty of Rusev, so does he have a chance? Will Lana ever order him to “Crush” someone other than black gentlemen and Zack Ryder on the roster? Would the WWE give the title to Seth Rollins?  Speaking of Rollins, how good was his promo? How about Dean Ambrose? Last but not least, Roman Reigns? Or is he least? Would Ronda Rousey fit in with the Shield? Does the WWE give Ambrose & Reigns a third person or will they split up after this feud concludes? Because this is the first wrestling show in a while, Kevin & Shahid don’t conclude until they’ve answered all of these questions and more. Click on the link below to figure out those answers!

Stunt Granny Lunch Convo – Seth Rollins/Batista/Daniel Bryan/CM Punk

Benedict Arnold

Kevin:  I’m currently shaking my head at the news that the Pens actually interviewed Pierre McGuire.

Jeremy:  Please please please please
Kevin:  My descent into madness didn’t quite happen with 3 ours of Raw. It definitely would happen then.
Jeremy:  Was a long show but I actually liked the ending.
Kevin:  I was surprised. Second time in a couple of months. Not a bad record for the WWE.
Jeremy:  I love the bitching about it too. “IT MAKES NO SENSE!” Well nothing was explained yet and really it can be explained pretty easy.
I think it is the right guy too. Everyone expects Ambrose to be a heel but Seth was the baby of the baby face group.
Kevin:  My revision note today said it makes sense if Rollins believes HHH will keep coming at them. I’m sure they’re tired of facing the entire roster on an every other week basis.
Jeremy:  That and also the easy way is money. There is a trust factor there with Batista’s treatment but that can be explained easy as well.
Kevin:  Do you think Batista comes back sooner rather than later then?
Jeremy:  He is filming a movie so it is later. he came back at the total wrong time. It was botched form the beginning and notice his best work was at the end of his run. His dropping the mic and waving by was classic.
Kevin:  You can only blame so much on Punk leaving. Batista was great after he turned.
Jeremy:  Punk had nothing to do with how Batista was introduced and then used though. Inserting him and having him win the Rumble was a mistake. Having him come out and hug the heel Authority was a mistake. He also returned in the middle of the fans push for Daniel Bryan. If he came back now as a heel it would have worked better.
Kevin:  It’s still just a weird time for the WWE to cave to the DB audience too. After Batista wins the Rumble. I’ve seen them power thru other crowd movements.
Jeremy:  They have never had a crowd that I can remember at least, crap on a PPV, especially a main PPV like the Rumble before though. Then it carried over. Punk quitting had a good deal to do with it as well. One popular guy just disappears and then the one remaining is not being set up the way your vocal fans want to see.
Kevin:  I’d so take that drama over the Total Divas stuff. I don’t think we’ll be seeing that any time soon. I’d have loved the filming of the writing room.

Jeremy:  Writing room would never happen but an all access docu-series would be pretty incredible. Could also be WWE career suicide as well.
Kevin:  Career appears to mean one person in particular. Do you mean for the company? Considering we eventually got the full word on The Montreal Screw Job, I think we’ll get this story, eventually.
Jeremy:  As it pertains to a real docu-series without the Total Divas manipulation could be career suicide. Even if the footage doesn’t make air if anything derogatory is said or implied you think the bosses wouldn’t have an issue with the person?
Kevin:  You’re saying someone is going to make a docu-series. Who is this person? I’m not clear on that. I already said that career implies a single person. My suggestion is that 10-20 years down the road, everyone that’s still alive sits down and talks about what happened during this time period under a WWE productions setting.
Jeremy:  OK we went two different directions. I thought you wanted to see a series without the glamor of a reality show. You were talking about the Punk story specifically. Yeah that will happen for sure. No way around it but it will probably contain 60% of the truth.
Kevin:  Better than what we’re getting now. Getting back to Batista, why exactly did he come back when he did? Did he not have this film on the docket already? If it was, it seems like a bad plan for him to challenge for the WWE Title even with as big as his name is. He’s not Rock big enough that you can give him the strap and let him film movies with it.
Jeremy:  If you look at it he was in for a few months, fulfills some of his dates and then gets away form TV for a while to do a movie. It is the same as Brock but without the movie. it added another big name to Wrestlemania and should have given someone a bump from defeating him. I never imagined him being champion though. He would have dropped it off before going to make Wrong Side of Town 2.
Kevin:  So is that the movie that Batista is going to tape? Because I don’t follow his film career.

Jeremy:  No idea. What I gave you was a fake sequel to one of his earlier flicks,
Kevin:  It sounded terrible enough to be on his plate. Completely missed your point about him being similar to Brock. That’s another reason I find it weird they put him into that spot of winning the Rumble.
Jeremy:  yeah I am not sure if they expected people to cheer vigorously for him t beat Randy? he left as a very strong and disliked heel all those years ago. So I am not sure why that would be expected
Kevin:  We’ve seen the fan demo change before after a long absence. I always think back to Edge coming back. Of course, he got turned back heel in short order too.
Jeremy:  Edge did make come backs as a heel though but the majority were short lived baby face ” glad to see ya” pops
Kevin:  Maybe that’s why the WWE thinks we won’t remember story lines, they don’t remember what happens to their own talents.
Jeremy:  It really is their M.O. though. No one will remember so do it anyway
Kevin:  Anything else to cover over the Rollins turn? We’ve barely talked about him after starting with him.
Jeremy:  This has to be seen as the best opportunity he will get. Reigns was the obvious breakout star supposedly. Ambrose has showed that he will be a good antagonist and can bump.
Seth Rollins was the odd man out. he never got the hype the other two had. Teaming with Triple H and Randy Orton is huge.
Kevin:  I agree that he has somewhere to go now. I can see how people would think the Shield still has some legs in it but I’m not sure how. They’ve picked on all the big guys, did a feud with the Wyatts and finished with Evolution. What else can the group really do? Reigns isn’t going back into a tag team.
Jeremy:  The only thing they had left was to finally defeat The Wyatts. But now Harper and Rowan are in a program with the Usos so that wasn’t going to happen. Breaking The Shield up now provided that shocking moment WWE needed. Until Daniel Bryan can get going they had to do something to gain a stronger interest.
Kevin:  Fair enough point on the Wyatts being defeated but they also can’t do it if Wyatt keeps up the MIA status, which I agree with.
Jeremy:  Yes so split em up and you have three singles, over and established performers.
Kevin:  I’m ready to wrap up this convo and wait to see what the WWE does with the trio from the Shield.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

art

coursebuffet.com

I think the only reason I mention I don’t have an introduction is because I enjoy writing them. I’m not sure anyone cares. So let’s just get to this review.

Evolution comes out first. HHH says this won’t end until the Shield no longer exists. Batista has the brains to ask for his title shot. HHH calls Batista a choker. Ha. HHH tries to sell his plan of beating the Shield. Batista understands the plan and quits. HHH tells Batista that he’s finished for reals. Yeah, like anyone can sell that in wrestling. Not much of an introduction segment either. Short and sweet.

Batista is done with the empty promises. I don’t blame him. Sheamus & RVD are set to take on Cesaro and Bad News Barrett. The latest gets an in set promo and assures us no Five Star Frog Splash tonight and a Bull Hammer Elbow for RVD. Paul Heyman joins us on commentary. Heyman reminds us of the cheapness of last night’s small package win. Cesaro and Sheamus square off while this goes on. RVD ends up pairing off with Barrett. Bad News takes over before the break. Heyman continues to harp on the style of win. Heyman turning heel tactics on it’s ear. Barrett & Cesaro take turns beating RVD down. Cesaro takes a cheap shot at Sheamus on the apron. It gives RVD an opening. Barrett gets to be the beaten. Cesaro dodges a Brogue Kick and ducks out of the ring. They leave ring side. Winds of Change by Barrett. Brogue Kick followed by a Five Star for the win. I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news, Barrett will not be the next Paul Heyman guy.

Damien Sandow comes out as “Lance Stephenson.” Sandow goes for the easy trolling jokes. He gives us a display of his “skills.” Big Show appears “from nowhere.” He’s looking slim. The fact that Sandow could deliver the “mad skills” line without cracking a smile is awesome. Lana can’t do that. Sandow gets WMDed.

Kane beating up Kofi Kingston was forgotten by yours truly as soon as it happened. Kingston is in the ring to take on Bo Dallas again. The Heat Bo-Lieved. The WWE never beats a joke into the ground. Surprising to hear that in back to back segments. Kofi kicks Bo out of the ring. Swinging neck breaker by Bo. Dallas hits a trifecta of knees. If the small part of the crowd is chanting “Bo-ring”, that’s kind of funny. A cross body by Kingston gets a two count. Dallas drops Kingston neck first over the top rope. Running Bo-dog for the win. This cracks me up. I’m not sure it’s translating though. Renee Young asks Stephanie McMahon about Batista. She tells us what’s in tune for the 9 PM segment.

From RxMuscle.com originally by way of TMZ.com

From RxMuscle.com originally by way of TMZ.com

Stephanie tries to sell the angle more. She tries to sell her great leadership skills. She does know how to get the crowd to chant “Yes!” She makes a match at Money In The Bank, Daniel Bryan against Kane in a stretcher match. If Bryan can’t fight, it will be determined in the MITB match. I’m jealous of Chicago for the awesome John Cena matches they have gotten. CM Punk from a few years ago and last night. Stephanie jumps on Cena’s point about a fighting champion. Cena fires back and talks up Bryan. Stephanie making valid points to counter Cena. He stays on point and pushes home her embarrassing track record with Daniel Bryan. Steph makes a match with Kane and Cena. She confirms that she is a bitch. Man, really good stuff from both sides.

Kane is beating up Cena when we come back from commercial. I would imagine that Bryan will be recovered by then. I would imagine the fights to get into the match will be good. Cena rallies like normal. Cena actually sells being tired from last night. Kane fights out of an AA. Kane knees Cena into the corner. Cena wins by DQ. Kane tosses Cena into the steps, which he is the champ of selling. He even got the lower part this time. Even better than his normal standard. Kane sets up for a Tombstone but Cena slips out. Cena pushes him into the post. Cena then tosses the top of the stairs at Kane. Renee Young talks to Randy Orton. Batista took his ball and went home. He has a match against Roman Reigns tonight.

Los Matadores have El Torito with them. 3MB comes out. Heath Slater brings out Hornswoggle with an afro. The little people will finally not be involved in this feud. Drew McIntyre is with Slater. Heath hit a leg lariat and celebrates. El Torito removes the wig. Why didn’t he finish shaving his head? Slater is distracted. One of the Matadores rolls up Slater for the win. El Torito dances with the afro.

Nikki Bella is put in a handicapped match against Aksana & Alicia Fox. JBL has to explain in a very wordy way that Mitchell Cool is right about Stephanie being vindictive but Cool doesn’t brag about it. I’m confused. Alicia Fox picks up the win. Fox picks up Nikki & tosses her out of the ring. Aksana puts the boots to Nikki more. Fox gives her a back breaker. Shouldn’t a Total Diva make a save? Maybe the Divas Champ Paige who was just feuding with Fox? Luke Harper tells us the Usos will pay for their actions. The flock will suffer for the Usos misdeeds. Follow the Buzzards.

Zeb Colter gets to complain about Adam Rose more. It looks the crowd may be getting a hold of this guy. Jack Swagger keeps getting his ass slapped. Reverse running elbow by Rose. Swagger gives Rose a boot to the face. Swgger wears down Rose. Rose fires back with punches. Swinging neck breaker to Swagger. Cannonball in the corner. Cravat DDT for the win. Byron Saxton gets to talk to the Usos. They’re going to handle their business tonight. I love their enthusiasm.

From deviantart.com which is becoming quite a destination for pictures.

From deviantart.com which is becoming quite a destination for pictures.

Luke Harper & Erick Rowan are in the ring with no Bray Wyatt at ring side. Rowan starts against Jimmy. Rowan gets the better of the injured Uso. Harper makes his first appearance. Jimmy gets in a leg lariat and tags in Jey. Rowan ends up taking over on Jey. He tries to slam Rowan but falls over. They tag in and out beating on Jey. Rowan lets him tag in Jimmy. He drop kicks Rowan thru the ropes. Harper gets punched outside. Break. Harper is in control after the break. Rowan is the screw up again when he runs into the ring post with his shoulder. Whisper in the Wind by Jimmy. Jey & Harper come in. Harper takes his eye off the prize by looking at the chair. Jey unloads on him but Harper doesn’t stay down. Jey takes Rowan on the outside. Harper hits a suicide dive. Jimmy connects with the over the top rope dive. Harper raises the knees on a Superfly Splash attempt. Harper goes for the clothesline but gets super kicked. Rowan secret tags but it doesn’t pay off. Rowan gives Jey a modified urinogi for the win. He gets the win after playing fool in the match. (Next Day Note: I’d laugh at my own writing if I didn’t know Rowan got assaulted when he came in but then quickly got the pin.)

Dolph Ziggler takes on Alberto Del Rio in a match that will determine someone’s chance of still having a career in the WWE. Ziggler drops the consecutive elbows. Del Rio goes to work on the arm. Del Rio goes for a cover after a belly to back suplex. Really. Ziggler tilt a whirls out of Del Rio’s grasp and drop kicks him. Ziggler gets shots in the kidneys. Famous Asser by Ziggler for two. Tilt a whirl back breaker only gets Del Rio two. Super face buster by Ziggler after ADR takes his time going up. After countering some moves, ADR slaps on the cross arm breaker for the win. Don’t answer the phone Dolph. (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t think either of these guys have a chance at the briefcase anyway.)

Rybaxel is in the ring waiting for Goldust and his new partner chosen by Cody Rhodes. It’s Sin Cara. I wouldn’t mind Goldust teaming with younger guys to help them out. Curtis Axel starts the match with Goldust. Sin Cara & Ryback are in quickly. JBL’s hunch back joke dies with silence. Ryback knocks Goldust out of the ring. Axel powers Goldust into the barricade. They tag in and out to wear down Goldie. JBL is doing a good job of selling on Cody recovering his form though. Sin Cara gets to be the hot tag. Ryback saves the match. Sin Cara kicks Axel in the face. Sin Cara misses the Swanton. Was that a neck breaker into a face first DDT? Whatever it was, it won the match for Axel. (Next Day Note: I don’t know where this story line with the Rhodes brothers is going, which is normally a good thing. I just don’t really care about either of these two so the mystery is just there.)

Lana comes out and is getting the “USA” chants. Alexander Rusev is being recognized by the Russian Federation. “USA!” They give him a medal. Rusev speaks in Bulgarian. Long live the Super Athlete. Where’s Nikolai Volkoff when you need him?

Dean Ambrose starts yapping at 11:00. Why do I get the feeling this could go over the 10 minute mark? Seth Rollins points out that Evolution didn’t adapt. Why is it just dawning on me that this could be an angle? Roman Reigns talks about being brothers. He wants Randy Orton. HHH comes out with him bearing a sledge hammer. Rollins nails Reigns with the chair. (Next Day Note: I wasn’t surprised that this turn was still trending in the AM. Every time I saw anything about a turn, it was Reigns. The turn doesn’t make much sense though unless Rollins believes HHH won’t stop until The Shield is done.) He then takes out Ambrose. I didn’t see this coming. Curb Stomp onto a chair on Ambrose. Orton goes to work on Reigns. The new trio celebrates over the fallen and broken Shield. The WWE has surprised me more this year than any year in a long time. – Kevin

%d bloggers like this: