Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

From behindthesteelcurtain.com

From behindthesteelcurtain.com

Chuck Noll, the coach who has more Super Bowl wins than any other coach in the history of the National Football League, passed away on Friday. I didn’t really get to enjoy those four Lombardi Trophies that he helped bring to Pittsburgh. I was 3 when they won #3 and 4 when they lifted #4 but I was too young to remember. By the time I had started to really watch football, the Steelers were pretty terrible. I didn’t know him as a winner but rest assured that my Grandpa Sheehan and my father have filled me in on some of that past glory. If you want to read more about what he means to Pittsburgh, I suggest reading Dejan Kovacevic’s Noll Made Us All Steelers article in the Pittsburgh Tribune -Review, which had very little to do with football.

As for wrestling, I will be attending Smackdown tomorrow so you won’t hear my lovely voice until at least Wednesday if not later. I’ll be wondering if everyone that loses is going to get fired considering Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre and Aksana all got to take losses before being “future endeadvored” on Wednesday. It’s time for Raw though. Let’s roll.

We get the locker room on the entrance stage. HHH & Stephanie McMahon greet us from the middle of the ring.They run down Daniel Bryan more. Giving rise to even more speculation in my mind that he’ll be back for the PPV. I don’t feel like they played Dr. Maroon’s part last week that said he would be re-evaluated to get him back in the ring as soon as possible. Steph announces a battle royal. Only the idiots in Cleveland would cheer for that pile of trash style of match. (Next Day Note: Since I didn’t comment on them for the rest of the night, that was a second consecutive good crowd in Cleveland.) HHH boots Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & John Cena from the match. Can I say they’re doing a solid smarm job but still not like having to endure this garbage? Evil Authority. HHH acts like Kane hasn’t lost to Cena more times than I care to remember.

Dolph Ziggler heads to the ring. He gets to lose to Seth Rollins in another good match that he won’t be rewarded for. We get a video package about Rollins betrayal. The match doesn’t go much of anywhere when the break hits. Rollins in control after it. Jaw jacker by Ziggler. Rollins tosses him outside. Ziggler cracks Rollins when he goes for a suicide dive. Rollins kicks out the back of Ziggler’s leg to take over. The big DDT gets Dolph a two count. Ziggler slaps on the sleeper hold. Fame Asser for a two count. Ziggler goes for the DDT a second time but Rollins turns it into a buckle bomb. That looked like a good recovery. Second buckle bomb leads to the Curb Stomp. Dean Ambrose attacks for the DQ win. He then gets some mic time as Rollins backs away. He challenges him to a match. HHH gives him Bad News Barrett. I wish he’d drop the fascination with the cape spot for his entrance.

Ambrose is dressed in a black tank top & jeans. Is this a new look? If so, why is he the first to change his in ring gear? Ambrose gets tossed off the top rope to the floor for the first significant move. Ambrose re-injures his shoulder. Barrett works it over. A back elbow and Tornado DDT gets Ambrose an opening. I keep trying to block out the announcers but it’s not working. They bicker so poorly that it drives me bananas. Ambrose hits the catapult clothes line. Rollins distracts Ambrose. Ambrose side steps a charging Barrett. Ambrose nails them with a suicide dive. Ambrose gets counted out fighting Rollins in the crowd. Ambrose attacks Barrett and nails Dirty Deeds. JBL makes one valid point “That sneak attack is okay?” No answer from Mitchell Cool or Jerry Lawler. Ugh. Roman Reigns tries to sweet talk Vickie. It’s just a ploy to spike HHH & Steph’s drinks with what I’m assuming is pepper since Vickie sneezed. Do cartoons still do that gimmick? Seems like a dated reference to me.

From occultspace.com

From occultspace.com

Bray Wyatt comes out and talks in low light around a ladder. Power is his game. He points to the belt and says that’s all the power he’d ever need. Wyatt then starts to hype Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. I would be perfectly happy to see them as tag champions. I just hope the Usos don’t hang it up since that tends to happen when losses happen. Sing along time. Sheamus reminds us that it’s bad luck to walk under ladders. Wyatt welcomes the fight that Sheamus promises to bring. Sheamus works over Wyatt at first. In what looks like a botched spot, Wyatt falls down. He gets up and tackles Sheamus. It looks like Sheamus is going to be attacked by Harper & Rowan when the Usos decide to show up.

It remains a singles match after the break. I was expecting a six man to start. Sheamus fights back. A high running knee was missed by Sheamus. Wyatt ends up hitting the cross body block. Sheamus power slams Wyatt. Sheamus backs into the corner when Harper & Rowan grab him. The Usos join the fight. The Usos end the fracus by running up a ladder and diving onto Harper & Rowan. HHH whacks Vickie as she tries to give him his coffee. So just Steph is going to be sick.

Steph is still drinking away as she is interviewed by Renee Young. She ends up running off. Paul Heyman thankfully is the replacement. He runs through the possible champions but then tells us that Cesaro being the next champion is not a prediction but a spoiler. Heyman even makes the most of short ones.

Rusev is out to face the One Man Band. Did Mitchell cool just call him simply Slater? If so, they have gone too far with the single name status. Lana gets to talk from the middle of the ring this week. She gives us a Mount Russiamore. He speaks. He is the super athlete. Slater gives us the go back speech. American rock star, baby! Kick to the face. Crush. The Accolade. I hope I don’t see him tomorrow. (Next Day Note: I still don’t want to see him tonight.) Vickie has to check on Stephanie and gets puked on. Sigh. Vickie is now in charge but is told to take a shower. Scream by Vickie. (Next Day Note: I’m was so confused. Vickie sneezes in the segments to imply pepper was the spiking agent but Steph is puking so much that she has to leave the arena. Reigns didn’t go with laxative, which has more potential for pervs who want to see Steph on the toilet, so what did he use exactly? Pepper won’t make you violently puke.)

Roman Reigns lobbies Vickie Guerrero again. Smart plan by Reigns. He gets what he wants. Why would she do that? (Next Day Note: Just send the clip of Reigns spiking their drinks. Or how about HHH & Steph watch their own product so they don’t fire Vickie wrongfully. Now you really are screwed.) They advertise “Think Like a Man Too” which I won’t see no matter how great Kevin Hart is in this segment. He gets to meet Adam Rose. Hart won’t be a Rose Bud. He’s going to do commentary? That’s probably going to be better than a dumb segment with him.

Kevin Hart is on the head set next. I don’t FF as Hart starts cracking on Fandango & Layla. Did they have him out just to ask that question for Mitchell Cool to throw to replay? It appears as if it’s a ladies match with Summer Rae. Oh, Adam Rose is joining her. The guys start the match. Summer Rae goes hell cat on Layla. Layla tags out ASAP. Party Foul by Rose for the win. What the fuck? Kevin Hart joins Rose for a victory dance. They both crowd surf. I’m just shaking my head. It should be noted that one of my lady’s co-workers will be taking his eleven year old girl to Smackdown tomorrow. I’m wondering if she isn’t as disgusted by that segment as me. I doubt it. Boo-tista Unleashed where he gets to cry. Hey man, don’t say the internet didn’t like you. As soon as you played what you should be playing (ahem a heel who won’t be cheered) your run was fantastic. Said it then, will continue to say it now.

Dark Royalty by Shiroin.com

Dark Royalty by Shiroin.com

The Battle Royal is on. Santino & Damien “Lebron James” Sandow were eliminated early. A Matadore then another got tossed by Rusev. They talk about Bo Dallas a lot. Titus O’Neil gets tossed by Reigns. Sin Cara gets tossed. Ziggler gets staying in the match. Jack Swagger should toss Kofi but it’s ass backwards. The US beat Ghana 2-1. I don’t care that it was bowling shoe ugly. 3 points is 3 points. I can keep track of this garbage on the app. No thanks. No eliminations so it really didn’t matter. Ryback eliminates Ziggler. Reigns goes bananas in the ring. Ryback slows him down. Reigns spears Rybaxel. Fandango gets eliminated. Ryback gets low bridged. Axel leaves. RVD gets occupied with Barrett and Dallas. RVD fights them both off. RVD goes for a monkey flip when Dallas tosses him. Dallas hugs Barrett who clothes lines him. Bo gets tossed but holds on. Dallas gets speared and tossed by Reigns. It’s down to Reigns and Rusev. They aren’t giving this to Rusev. The heel kick by Rusev finally looks significant. Reigns fires back on Rusev. They fight with Rusev on the apron. Superman Punch to eliminate Rusev. John Cena just saw the impossible become possible. He’s happy about the stretcher match. Whatever dude. (Next Day Note: What I should have typed was “Even Cena realizes he’s beat Kane more time than he can count.)

Naomi & Cameron both still have jobs. Paige gets to wrestle Cameron. Oh goody. Cameron’s main offensive weapon is a slap. Not good news. Naomi acts disappointed in Cameron. We’re getting a break up angle. Good for Naomi, bad for Cameron. Paige locks in the PTO.  The announcers go back over the Rhodes saga. Byron Saxton gets to interview Goldust. He is excited about his new partner who is super galactic. Definitely Cody in some kind of gear.

Goldust is the first out. Stardust is out second. Cody with a star on his face. Dear lord. Stardust makes short work off Curtis Axel. (Next Day Note: I just feel bad that the king of the one trick pony gimmicks has another gimmick. It has kept him on TV so maybe it isn’t so bad.)

John Cena & Kane allow me to nearly catch up. The announcers have to sell Kane’s mean streak. Kane tries for the stretcher before the first break. Several times. Stupid. Cena tosses Kane into a chair wedged into the ropes. Kane choke slams Cena. Kane goes to attack Cena with the stairs when Cena drop kicks his legs. Kane cracks his face off the stairs on the way down. Kane reverses an AA into a DDT onto the stairs. Cena rolls off the stretcher. He tosses Kane into the post. Cena bounces off the barricade. Kane cleans off the announce table. Cena pops up and gives him the AA thru the table. Cena is a moron so he carries Kane to the stretcher. Take the stretcher to him.How about lowering the stretcher? Seth Rollins and Randy Orton attack Cena. Ambrose makes the save. He gets choke slammed by Kane. Cena dumps Kane to the outside. Cena tosses the stairs at Kane. Rollins & Orton had the numbers to finish the job. Kane sits up near the finish line. A reverse gets an AA onto the stretcher which poor Kane has to sell. Cena pushes him across the line for the win. – Kevin

 

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Stunt Granny Lunch Convo – Seth Rollins/Batista/Daniel Bryan/CM Punk

Benedict Arnold

Kevin:  I’m currently shaking my head at the news that the Pens actually interviewed Pierre McGuire.

Jeremy:  Please please please please
Kevin:  My descent into madness didn’t quite happen with 3 ours of Raw. It definitely would happen then.
Jeremy:  Was a long show but I actually liked the ending.
Kevin:  I was surprised. Second time in a couple of months. Not a bad record for the WWE.
Jeremy:  I love the bitching about it too. “IT MAKES NO SENSE!” Well nothing was explained yet and really it can be explained pretty easy.
I think it is the right guy too. Everyone expects Ambrose to be a heel but Seth was the baby of the baby face group.
Kevin:  My revision note today said it makes sense if Rollins believes HHH will keep coming at them. I’m sure they’re tired of facing the entire roster on an every other week basis.
Jeremy:  That and also the easy way is money. There is a trust factor there with Batista’s treatment but that can be explained easy as well.
Kevin:  Do you think Batista comes back sooner rather than later then?
Jeremy:  He is filming a movie so it is later. he came back at the total wrong time. It was botched form the beginning and notice his best work was at the end of his run. His dropping the mic and waving by was classic.
Kevin:  You can only blame so much on Punk leaving. Batista was great after he turned.
Jeremy:  Punk had nothing to do with how Batista was introduced and then used though. Inserting him and having him win the Rumble was a mistake. Having him come out and hug the heel Authority was a mistake. He also returned in the middle of the fans push for Daniel Bryan. If he came back now as a heel it would have worked better.
Kevin:  It’s still just a weird time for the WWE to cave to the DB audience too. After Batista wins the Rumble. I’ve seen them power thru other crowd movements.
Jeremy:  They have never had a crowd that I can remember at least, crap on a PPV, especially a main PPV like the Rumble before though. Then it carried over. Punk quitting had a good deal to do with it as well. One popular guy just disappears and then the one remaining is not being set up the way your vocal fans want to see.
Kevin:  I’d so take that drama over the Total Divas stuff. I don’t think we’ll be seeing that any time soon. I’d have loved the filming of the writing room.

Jeremy:  Writing room would never happen but an all access docu-series would be pretty incredible. Could also be WWE career suicide as well.
Kevin:  Career appears to mean one person in particular. Do you mean for the company? Considering we eventually got the full word on The Montreal Screw Job, I think we’ll get this story, eventually.
Jeremy:  As it pertains to a real docu-series without the Total Divas manipulation could be career suicide. Even if the footage doesn’t make air if anything derogatory is said or implied you think the bosses wouldn’t have an issue with the person?
Kevin:  You’re saying someone is going to make a docu-series. Who is this person? I’m not clear on that. I already said that career implies a single person. My suggestion is that 10-20 years down the road, everyone that’s still alive sits down and talks about what happened during this time period under a WWE productions setting.
Jeremy:  OK we went two different directions. I thought you wanted to see a series without the glamor of a reality show. You were talking about the Punk story specifically. Yeah that will happen for sure. No way around it but it will probably contain 60% of the truth.
Kevin:  Better than what we’re getting now. Getting back to Batista, why exactly did he come back when he did? Did he not have this film on the docket already? If it was, it seems like a bad plan for him to challenge for the WWE Title even with as big as his name is. He’s not Rock big enough that you can give him the strap and let him film movies with it.
Jeremy:  If you look at it he was in for a few months, fulfills some of his dates and then gets away form TV for a while to do a movie. It is the same as Brock but without the movie. it added another big name to Wrestlemania and should have given someone a bump from defeating him. I never imagined him being champion though. He would have dropped it off before going to make Wrong Side of Town 2.
Kevin:  So is that the movie that Batista is going to tape? Because I don’t follow his film career.

Jeremy:  No idea. What I gave you was a fake sequel to one of his earlier flicks,
Kevin:  It sounded terrible enough to be on his plate. Completely missed your point about him being similar to Brock. That’s another reason I find it weird they put him into that spot of winning the Rumble.
Jeremy:  yeah I am not sure if they expected people to cheer vigorously for him t beat Randy? he left as a very strong and disliked heel all those years ago. So I am not sure why that would be expected
Kevin:  We’ve seen the fan demo change before after a long absence. I always think back to Edge coming back. Of course, he got turned back heel in short order too.
Jeremy:  Edge did make come backs as a heel though but the majority were short lived baby face ” glad to see ya” pops
Kevin:  Maybe that’s why the WWE thinks we won’t remember story lines, they don’t remember what happens to their own talents.
Jeremy:  It really is their M.O. though. No one will remember so do it anyway
Kevin:  Anything else to cover over the Rollins turn? We’ve barely talked about him after starting with him.
Jeremy:  This has to be seen as the best opportunity he will get. Reigns was the obvious breakout star supposedly. Ambrose has showed that he will be a good antagonist and can bump.
Seth Rollins was the odd man out. he never got the hype the other two had. Teaming with Triple H and Randy Orton is huge.
Kevin:  I agree that he has somewhere to go now. I can see how people would think the Shield still has some legs in it but I’m not sure how. They’ve picked on all the big guys, did a feud with the Wyatts and finished with Evolution. What else can the group really do? Reigns isn’t going back into a tag team.
Jeremy:  The only thing they had left was to finally defeat The Wyatts. But now Harper and Rowan are in a program with the Usos so that wasn’t going to happen. Breaking The Shield up now provided that shocking moment WWE needed. Until Daniel Bryan can get going they had to do something to gain a stronger interest.
Kevin:  Fair enough point on the Wyatts being defeated but they also can’t do it if Wyatt keeps up the MIA status, which I agree with.
Jeremy:  Yes so split em up and you have three singles, over and established performers.
Kevin:  I’m ready to wrap up this convo and wait to see what the WWE does with the trio from the Shield.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

beaus-2-weeks-notice

From momandhops.ca which is an outstanding site name.

We’ve got two weeks until Wrestlemania so it’s time to start recording individual match previews and since we’re going to Wrestlemania, we’ve got to start the process this week. I wish they had more matches in concrete for us to go on because all of the matches scheduled will have some development in the mean time which will make us sound like a bunch of asses. Hold on, that happens all the time, doesn’t it? Let’s roll.

After the video package about Daniuel Bryan, HHH and Stephanie McMahon, she comes out. The music makes me laugh because it doesn’t fit her current persona. She’s nailing this promo. No reason for the CM Punk chant. She ends kind of weak propping up her man. Randy Orton shows up. I’m digging what he has going until Steph cuts him off. Orton wants HHH to walk away from the title match. Batista shows before she can answer. He got rid of the skinny jeans. Good choice. It was the one last thing that was irritating me about your character. His mic keeps going out. Oh my, Steph has to tell him to re-set the promo. Live television is a bitch sometimes. Batista calls out Orton for drooling on Steph. He gets Steph riled up enough to slap him. Batista starts laughing. She storms out. Batista ends up spearing Orton. He held up both the belts. Batista is so awesome right now.

Alberto Del Rio and Christian are in the ring. They will be battling for a chance at the IC Title. Interesting choice of them not to get an entrance since they should win to take on Big E, who is at ring side. Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus are the good guys. They paired off early but Ziggler and Sheamus get the first big in ring stretch. Sheamus tosses Christian against the barricade. Del Rio gets drop kicked out of the ring by Ziggler. Sheamus clothes lines Christian over the barricade to bring us to a break. Ziggler gets tossed in the air and crashes down. Sheamus gives Del Rio Rolling Hills on the outside. Christian cross body on Ziggler almost back fires. The crowds have been giving my boy some love recently. Never as sustained as others. Sheamus cleans up on Christian then Del Rio. Sheamus goes to the top rope but Ziggler catches him with a face buster. Del Rio kicks out after a Ziggler DDT. Power bomb by Christian on Ziggler. Del Rio kicks Christian to break the pin. Sheamus gets the Cloverleaf on Del Rio. Christian breaks it up. Del Rio intercepts Sheamus and locks in the cross arm breaker. Ziggler Zig Zags Sheamus & Del Rio at the same time. Christian comes in and gives the Killswitch to Ziggler for the win. Christian turns down the hand shake from Big E Langston. Bray Wyatt shows up on the Titantron. He wonders if John Cena has ever considered him and what makes him tick. Cena can’t harm someone who can’t feel. Harper warns Cena that they’re coming for him. I thought that was a weird spot to put him in. Nice long match with a clean finish that was sneaky. It seemed important enough not to have a main event promo.

Sin Cara leads in a Scooby Doo mascot. My lady wanted Scooby Doo to replicate Sin Cara’s entrance. Damien Sandow is his opponent. Sin Cara makes short work of him with a Senton. Yikes. We had a Kane video package. Pretty short segment.

Los Matadores are taking on Curtis Axel & Ryback. The Shield distracts Curtis Axel. One of them roll up Axel for the win. The Shield surrounds the ring. Reigns takes Axel out of the ring and beats him down. Ambrose & Rollins teamed against Ryback. Reigns spears Ryback. We then get a triple power bomb. Arnold Schwarzenegger is on this dog and pony show too. Nah, it’s not two weeks out to Wrestlemania. (Next Day Note: I could really combine these two segments to look like they mattered in between the match and HHH. Just 2 throw away segments.)

Mitchell Cool brings out HHH. We get the video package again. HHH thinks people are unclear at the current moment. The cat interrupts the column. They try to hash out their disagreements on the situation. HHH talks about all of the horrible things he’s done and he wonders why he doesn’t see that now. Well, maybe if you didn’t have a PG product, people could be more violent. Maybe he needs to change the direction of the product. Well, that is your job title so congrats on maybe doing your job. HHH knows that no one is going to stop him because he has the power to make it happen. I liked the finish. Another video package this time about Bray Wyatt and John Cena.

Fandango is in the ring with Summer Rae. Cody Rhodes comes out with Goldust. Fandango suplexs Rhodes when I stop having a cat in front of me. Rhodes turns it around with a clothes line. Rhodes nails a missile drop kick. Goldust dances with Summer Rae which distracts Fandango. Rhodes gives Fandango the Disaster Kick for the win.

 

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Stunt Granny Audio #251

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

Jeremy & Kevin are back for another fun filled edition of the Stunt Granny Audio. They start off by talking about children because Baby Momma Drama still has children’s stuff in Kevin’s condo. Jeremy makes quick mention of the fine establishments that he got his engagement pictures snapped at. They move on to the breaking news that the “stars” of “Big World, Little People” are on a hiatus from their marriage. How many short jokes can they make in a couple of minutes? Jeremy & Kevin finally get around to talking wrestling and they start with the big news of the week, Daniel Bryan. Why did Kevin have a problem with how the Authority reacted to the #OccupyRaw movement. Jeremy wonders if the segment would have been helped out by not having Bryan have to focus his wrath on both Stephanie McMahon and HHH. How would you like to get on Stephanie’s bad side in real life with that scream? Everyone is assuming that HHH will lose to Daniel Bryan. What do the guys speculate would happen if HHH put himself over? How would he celebrate the victory? Who would be taking pictures of the stunned crowd? How would the crowd react for the rest of Wrestlemania, Raw & Smackdown? Kevin changes his tune about the planning for matches at Wrestlemania. What match on Wikipedia is a stretch to be considered a main event match? It won’t be a stretch for you to click on the link below to find out the answers to these questions and more.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

hanging-tents-for-rock-climbers-1I’m hoping to get some extra sleep tonight. I’m not feeling the best. Hopefully I’ll get the illness bug out of my system so I don’t have to worry about it at Wrestlemania. When checking for images related to sleeping, it caught my eye when I saw “Sleeping while rock climbing.” That’s where the image above comes from. That’d be fun to do once. I slept in a tree house for my honeymoon so this isn’t that far from the pail.

Hulk Hogan comes down and shills for the WWE Network. We get the first annual 30 Man Andre the Giant Battle for a trophy. Memphonites? John Cena saves us. He shills for Hogan and the match. Cena then joins it. The Wyatts are here. Maybe they’ll save the segment. I dig his promo. Calling himself a god is pretty ironic considering the pride talk. Cena comes back with the jokes about the same subject. Better than normal for his jokes. Cena challenges him to a match at Wrestlemania. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan step onto the apron. Commercial.

Cena is in a match with Rowan. Hogan is a Cena cheerleader. Rowan is using his size to his advantage. Cena wins with a roll up out of the blue. What a weak win. Harper & Rowan pretend like they’re going to go after Cena & Hogan but the Wyatts back away.

Stephanie & HHH come out to the stage. She is really doing well with the smug quality. They are being kind and not firing Daniel Bryan. They want an apology from him though. Short and sweet. The New Age Outlaws come out to do commentary. Very choppy start to the show.

Curtis Axel & Curtis Axel are in the ring. The Usos hit the ring. Then replays of last week. Road Dogg claims that the NAO were under the weather during their loss. U-SO! It’s kind of cool that they’re finisher is the flying tag and Samoan splash combo. Kane talks to the Shield. He wants to know if they’re disposable. Reigns & Rollins are going to take on Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Rollins gives Kane some guff about his losses. The chop continues.

Jack Swagger is taking on Big E Langston again. Zeb Colter & Cesaro are at ring side. Big E wants in on the Battle Royal at Wrestlemania. I’m glad that is over shadowing the match. Belly to Belly suplex gets my attention. Swagger takes out Big E’s knee. Swagger distracts the ref and asks for Cesaro‘s help which doesn’t help. Swagger had said at the start the match that “I’ve got this.” Big E rolls up Swagger for the win. Zeb Colter watches them bicker like school girls. Zeb blows his stack. Swagger & Cesaro shake but Cesaro puts in an extra squeeze.

The Undertaker allows me to catch up a little bit. Paul Heyman shows up before he can say anything. Heyman gives us a break down of winning streaks at Wrestlemania. He asks Taker not to wrestle Brock at Wrestlemania so that everyone can worship the streak and Taker longer. “The fear of the unknown is the greatest of all.” Sure Taker, sounds great in that voice. Rest In Peace. At some point tonight, I’ll have a long paragraph. (Next Day Note: It’s kind of funny how I can complain about the usual 15 minute segment then complain when they change it up. It would have helped if I would have cared about any of these segments. I like a lot of people in these segments but everything was too short.)

Seth Rollins starts against Cody Rhodes. Cody face plants Rollins. Goldust takes over. Downward Spiral by Rollins into the middle turn buckle. Roman Reigns gets his start in the match. Goldust showing off the twisting cross body block. Cody does him one better by doing a spring board cross body. Commercial. Lawler tried to put over a power Samoan Drop by Reigns. I’m not buying it. Samoan Leap drop kick. Reigns starts playing with Goldust. Power slam by Goldust doesn’t quite get the hot tag. Rollins is in to fight a hot tagged Cody. Moonsault gets a two count. Cody with a Muscle Buster.  He stole that from Samoa Joe! (Next Day Note: I can’t believe this isn’t a Twitter beef yet.) Goldust gets speared. Rollins reverses out of the Cross Rhodes. Rollins finishes him off with the buckle bomb & Curb Stomp combo. A good match breaks up the chop even with a commercial.

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Stunt Granny Audio #250

thread_hijack_in_progress_signJeremy & Kevin are here again to talk about Raw and how badly the hijacking went in Chicago. But first they start on one of many tangents that included kale shakes, Roberto Luongo being traded back to the Florida Panthers and cable providers. They focus back in on Raw. After talking about how Paul Heyman defused the situation, how was the crowd. How well did Kevin know the hijacking manifesto? Does Jeremy ever laugh out loud while reading the objectives? Aren’t some of the objectives being fulfilled by the WWE already? Do your hosts wonder if they’d want to be this young and idealist like the manifesto writer? They wonder back around to singing the praises for Paul Heyman’s speech which transitioned well into the crowd eating up Brock Lesnar. How dumb is Mark Henry? Should he have put up more of a fight? Daniel Bryan against HHH gets some attention but could Bryan still be inserted into the title picture with Randy Orton’s involvement in the main event? How unsettled is the WrestleMania card? Are the guys worried about it since they will be in attendance? Brock Lesnar gets more talk because he is in one of the confirmed matches with the Undertaker. CM Punk had a confirmed part on the WrestleMania card, so why should the fans be on his side anyway? Doesn’t that make the build up between Bryan and HHH seem stretched? But does the average fan notice? The Shield gets talked about too. Are they going to have a triple threat match at WrestleMania? How does Bray Wyatt’s spot against John Cena compare to Chris Jericho versus Fandango last year? Have you been able to follow this write up? If you did click on the tangent filled link below!

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

mistakeI’m fully ready for a mistake ridden post since I’m starting to watch Raw at 10:05 PM EST. I made several mistakes just typing the title. Oh boy. I went to the Columbus Blue Jackets games against the Tampa Bay Lightning. More on those shenanigans when I do clean up duty tomorrow. Let’s roll. (Next Day Note: I did some pictures of my WWE Rumblers to give updates on the game and notice that I wasn’t going to start the review even “on time” for me. Go to @StuntGranny on the Twitter for viewing. More work to come from those little bundles of joy.)

Bray Wyatt gets an opening vignette. The Usos are waiting for Daniel Bryan and Wyatt to come to ringside. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan are with them. Bryan & Wyatt are on the offensive early against Jey. JBL mystifies Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler by asking them to define why Bryan is worse off now. Just too easy of a question for both to not answer. Jimmy gets a hot tag. Flying Usos connects. I was expecting a break. Harper & Rowan attack. The Usos do the smart thing and leave after getting in a couple of shots. I was expecting an eight man match to come from the interference. Bryan still giving submission to Wyatt. I like it. Establish the new character. Not exactly a barn burner of an opener though.

Damien Sandow is waiting in the ring for John Cena. Really? Cena doesn’t need this. Randy Orton is in action later. If he gets an equivalent match up, he’ll be taking on Kofi Kingston. Jerry Lawler makes it sound like Cena is in fear of losing as they come back from break. None of us are buying King. Sandow locks in the Royal Arch, a modified Sharpshooter. Cena is trying to sell Sandow too. You’re not even going to sell me on it. Cena pulls out a tornado DDT but only gets two. Sandow gives Cena a face plant move but only gets two. Cena locks in the STF. Sandow gets the break. Crossface by Sandow. Cena turns it into an AA. Ugh. Sandow slips out of the move twice earlier in the match. He should have seen this one coming and slipped out of it too. (Next Day Edit: I always want this spot to go to a pure jobber but that makes even less sense than having a down on his luck Sandow lose. At least they can try and build a threat instead of say, Heath Slater.)

Kane & Brad Maddox get to talk. They trade barbs on who’s doing a worse job. Maddox makes a cage match for the Usos vs Bryan & Wyatt. Kane is going to hold the key to get in. Big Show comes down to ringside.

Jack Swagger is accompanied by Zeb Colter & Antonio Cesaro. Choke slam. Squash match. Any other information needed? I didn’t think so. Big Show stalks Zeb. Cesaro gets tossed out of the ring trying to make the save. Big Show threatens him then knocks out Zeb. What a bully. Cesaro’s reaction is priceless. (Next Day Note: I like Antonio Cesaro a lot but it makes more sense for him to be the person who gets knocked out far more than Colter. I suppose this can build up a handicapped match for Show next week for the Real Americans to get “revenge” which we all know they won’t.)

“Road Dogg” Jesse James & Billy Gunn come out first. The kids know this chant. CM Punk gets the intro again. The Shield come out through the crowd. Dean Ambrose starts against Billy Gunn. Seth Rollins going with long sleeves this week for some reason. Gunn goes for the twilt a whirl slam. The kids don’t know the Road Dogg shimmy knee drop as much. Punk makes his first appearance. Ambrose goes after him. Roman Reigns gets the tag. I like Punk getting in the first shot. Punk is pretty young for getting the willy veteran name hung on him by Mitchell.

Punk gets a small opening on Rollins but continues to take the offense of the Shield. I did miss the drop kick on the outside by Reigns earlier. Thanks for a useful replay. Rollins has been called both an architect and a mechanic by Cool within this break. Which one is he? Ambrose gets tossed into the steps. Punk leg lariats Rollins. Reigns plays to NOA. Punk high kicks Reigns. The NOA walk away from the tag. Punk deals with Ambrose & Rollins but gets speared by Reigns for the loss. I’d say this is confirmation that Punk takes on HHH at Wrestlemania? Triple power bomb after the match. I like it. Bray Wyatt gets to do some preaching. I’m really liking this development in his promos. He could have used more of this in the build up vignettes. The speeches weren’t coming through as clearly in my opinion. They’re going to get redemption in the cage tonight. Cool.

From squidoo.com

From squidoo.com

The Funkadactyls are taking on Tamina Snuka & AJ Lee. Cameron starts off against Tamina. Naomi is a bad friend. Cameron is not a good wrestler. She botched running the ropes. AJ knocks Naomi off the apron. Shining Wizard by AJ for the win. Basically a squash match. Naomi comes in and makes the save. Rear View to bounce AJ out of the ring. You should have started the match dummy. Randy Orton is looking for HHH & Stephanie McMahon.

Orton instead gets Kane. The only thing Kane can control is his match tonight. Orton gets Kofi Kingston. Ha. I was right. The Ultimate Warrior is the first inductee for the Hall of Fame. Oh boy, that might be an added expense to the trip to New Orleans. Renee Young gets more camera time with Paul Heyman. He gets a video review of the Lesnar happenings. Heyman runs her down for just being pretty. Outstanding. (Next Day Edit: I like that he didn’t go blunt with her on the air head comment.) Heyman points out the obvious Zeb Colter does not equal Brock Lesnar. Heyman is not intimidated or impressed. I see Lesnar winning. Cena wins the title. We got ourselves a very serious main event at Wrestlemania even if it’s happened before.

Randy Orton is taking on Kofi Kingston. Mitchell Cool (informs us that Kofi) gets to be a spot monkey in the Royal Rumble again. Orton liked the idea of this match because he kicked Kingston down the spiral of his career. Evidently I missed Orton almost walking out of the match. Kofi kicks out of a superplex. Kofi gets to fight back. Kofi tries to get a count out win. What a pansy move. Orton is back in control. Chin lock of doom. Kofi gets tossed into the steps. Mitchell Cool tries to sell this as “Not a walk in the park”  as far as Orton’s control of this match. No wonder judges in the UFC can’t see obvious stuff. Neither can Mitchell. It’s been domination by Orton. Mitchell just said “Every rally is thwarted by Orton.” That makes his match a walk in the park! JBL calls it like it is and points out the domination. Thank you. Kingston nails the SOS for the win. I didn’t see that one coming. They were playing out how Orton was playing with Kofi. So I guess I need to say Mitchell was doing his job, huh? Orton flips out at ringside. Okay, so he’s gone from face of the company to weird flipping out guy? He attacks John Cena’s dad.

They end up loading Mr. Cena into an ambulance. JBL evens gives it the low voice treatment. Cody Rhodes & Goldust are taking on Curtis Axel & Ryback. If the WWE didn’t like Ryback’s weekend Twitter outburst, they’re not winning this match. They could lose it just because they haven’t won much as a team. No reason for them to be at the top of heap. They acknowledge the tweets. Good cover. Axel gets to beat on Goldust. Powerslam on Goldust. That looked like it could hurt. Goldust gets in a bulldog on Ryback to be able to make the tag. Cody kicks Axel in the “stomach”. Disaster Kick on Ryback. Axel rolls up Cody for two. Cross Rhodes. (Next Day Edit: The WWE is in Wrestlemania mode, aka our writers give a shit from January until the beginning of April, but the tag champs don’t have anyone in their sites except other baby face teams. The Real Americans and Rybaxel lose all the time.)

Rey Mysterio is taking on Alberto Del Rio. They use this time to talk even more about the returning Batista. Mysterio nails the 619 but Del Rio catches him trying to Drop the Dime. Del Rio locks on the cross arm breaker for the win. I may not agree with Del Rio chance #475, but if you’re going to go with it, have him beat someone who is respected like Rey Mysterio. Del Rio calls out Batista. I still think he doesn’t deserve to lose to Batista. (Next Day Note: You already said you don’t like him getting chances. No need to pound the point home a sentence later.)

CM Punk tells Kane that HHH doesn’t need to hide from (him). Punk has the chance to headline Wrestlemania by winning the Royal Rumble match. Oh my lord, what a terrible lead in. I was expecting an interview. Not a pre-recorded video that looked kind of silly in a wrestling context. (Next Day Note: Yep, things were going down hill as the night wore on. The Usos promo was a nice try at something different but didn’t come off well.)

Daniel Bryan & Bray Wyatt came down before the break. The Usos come out second. Kane comes out and locks the door. How about these cookies? I didn’t see this main event coming. (Next Day Note: The WWE is putting it’s new talent out there for main events. Congrats to the Usos for making it.) Jimmy Uso took a rough looking spill into the cage on a back drop. Jimmy tries to get out but his brother is down. Terrible strategy. Russian Leg sweep off the ropes. They should be tired early with the action at the top of the show. An Uso did a Whisper in the Wind. Tree of Woe drop kick by Bryan. This is not yet awesome (Crowd chant). Double belly to back suplex on Daniel Bryan from the ropes. Super kick by Jey on Wyatt saves Jimmy from Sister Abigail. The Usos take too long trying to get out. Bryan falls into Wyatt who goes crotch first on the ropes. The Usos drop to the outside to win. Jimmy & Jey get out of ring side after being attacked. Wyatt is saying something to Bryan. He whispers to him again. Bryan looks like he’s going to take Sister Abigail again but pushes off. Wyatt asks him to attack. He doesn’t. Bryan dodges a charge and attacks Wyatt. The crowd goes ape. Daniel Bryan is back? Was he really gone? Running knee to finish of Wyatt. Interesting turn of events. Did the WWE actually cave or was this always a planned short stint? I’m guessing we may never know. – Kevin

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