Joey Ryan on his release from TNA

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So just recently Joey Ryan was on a show called ITR Live on something called Spreaker, which I am just hearing about now, this very second. What follows below is a recap of that appearance, procured from PWInsider.

It’s largely Ryan politicizing himself in effort to possibly someday get his job back, so if you’re looking for something really truly interesting coming out of his mouth, look elsewhere. I post this to say that Ryan has the size and charisma that WWE usually is looking for in a wrestler. He could be somewhere around Rick “The Model” Martel level in WWE if used properly, to further date myself. And WWE used to make their bones on taking guys that the competition didn’t know how to use properly and turning them into stars. So, there you go Vince. – Dusty

How he got in to TNA:

Through David Lagana. I worked with David Lagana in a few places actually Ring of Honor, NWA Hollywood and then he booked me for Ring Ka King in India. Then he got hired to be a writer in TNA and they were looking for guys. He suggested me to Al Snow and Al Snow saw footage of me and decided to make me a GutCheck contestant.

It kind of happened quickly. They called me up and Al Snow asked if I would be interested and I said yes. He said, “Alright, I’ll see you next week”. There wasn’t anything I had to sit on really.

On TNA GutCheck:

They literally don’t tell you anything. I was the second ever guy to do GutCheck. The first GutCheck was Alex Silva. There was that whole thing where Ric Flair changed his decision on Alex Silva. You see, I don’t know how much of that is really a shoot or not. I think they brought me in particularly to be a “No” because they just needed somebody from the indys to make this seem more legitimate and told “no”. I think that was a work on their part.

I think when I wrestled and I had a good match against Austin Aries, thank God I had to wrestle Austin Aries, then I came in and did my promos and stuff like that, even before I was in front of the judges, they weren’t telling me I was going to get a “No”, but I had a few people telling me things. Like Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan came up to me and said, “Hey, we like your look, we think you are good. No matter what happens out there, we want to do something with you hopefully down the line”. They were hinting that I was going to get a “No” vote.

I was already going in there portraying a heel character so I knew going into this that I wasn’t just going to go out there, be told “No” and walk away with my tail between my legs. I’m going to be adamant about it. I was going to be myself, a guy who has been told “No” for the last 12 years by major companies.

After I did that promo, there was talk of me going around. They were saying to themselves, “How can we use this guy?” Before that, there was nothing planned for me.

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Headlines: Beth Phoenix written off TV, Colt and Pearce besmirch NWA, DDP moves in with Jake Roberts

In news that has been brewing for months, according to Prowrestling.net (and according to watching WWE Monday Night Raw last night), Beth Phoenix has been written off TV, via an angle where she was fired by Whatever Type of General Manager Vickie Guerrero. Phoenix asked for and was granted her release a while back, so there really isn’t much to say other than good luck keeping Jeremy Maes away from you while you read your zombie comic books.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Colt Cabana threw down his NWA “World” Title belt after beating Adam Pearce in the seventh of their best-of-seven series in a match in Australia. Since the NWA belt has been thrown down more times than Lilian Garcia, the real news here is that Colt Cabana and Adam Pearce were paid to travel to and wrestle in Australia. Not that they aren’t worth it, because they are (two of my top 10 draft pics, easily), but it shows how upside down these Aussies are, dropping that kind of coin on transportation and payoffs. Oy, was Rick Tick Tillah and Moykey McGongileydoo bof already booooked that noight? Nine hundred dollaridoos?? Ah, screw it, I’ll just have a cup of coffee…

Finally, according to Prowrestling.net, Diamond Dallas Page and Jake “The Snake” Roberts are working on a documentary where DDP helps Jake get in shape for one last run, employing DDP Yoga over an 8-week period. To ensure success, DDP has moved in with Jake, and Jake has agreed to regular drug testing throughout the filming. The filming will end when Jake’s landlord gets tired of seeing his coked-out ex-wrestler tenant being accompanied by a scummy 50-year-old man in a leather vest and tight Guess jeans and boots them both out. (Other punchlines include: “This video will resemble less a documentary on health and more a low-budget docudrama about the Village People,” and “These two guys could leave a ring around the Atlantic Ocean, so I hope Jake’s landlord has a Rug Hospital, not just the Doctor.” Eh, none of these were any good. I need to keep my day job. Oh, and click on this link for TWNP.com, which I assume stands for Talking to Women is Not a Problem for us, to see how well Jake’s workout regimen is going.) -Eric

WWE Tough Enough winner Andy Leavine released, “Silent Rage” T-shirt production ceases

Jesus, he can't even do "gay cowboy" well.

According to PWInsider.com by way of Prowrestling.net, WWE has released relaunched “Tough Enough” winner Andy Leavine. Raise your hand if you knew Andy Leavine was still under a WWE contract (or if you have good penmanship). I didn’t think so. Leavine had been working for Florida Championship Wrestling under the name Kevin Hackman, which makes sense given two things: 1) WWE’s disposition for giving people the last names of famous actors or their movie characters (see: Ryback), and 2) because Andy Leavine is a hack, and I dare say Steve Austin & Co. made a horrible error naming this future flop the winner of their highly regarded reality series. Good riddance, “Silent Rage,” you make the Equalizer look like Big Van Vader. -Eric

WWE releases Maryse, still smokes like a Jeff Hardy house fire

maryse

No... NO! Come back!!

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE has released Maryse. For context’s sake, let’s note three things:

1) Maryse has been sidelined with injuries and surgeries, including one to sew up a nasty hernia (did you know you can get those from trying to take a shit too hard?).

2) While she was active, Maryse was one of the most featured diva acts of the bunch, including wrestling (and not being too bad at it), acting as a ringside valet (and completely showing up her man, “The Ten-Cent Man” Ted DiBiase), and sitting in on color commentary (a job I think she knocked out of the park, nearly to CM Punk levels), showing that WWE loves putting her on screen.

3) Maryse is dating Miz, who has been working an anti-establishment conspiracy angle for months.

So take those three things for what they’re worth and call me in the morning. -Eric

Matt Hardy: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

So now you need to read this:

Recently-released TNA wrestler Matt Hardy was rushed to an emergency room in North Carolina on Wednesday after “falling down in his home,” reports TMZ.Hardy was not feeling well, according to sources cited by TMZ, but it’s unclear what caused his fall. The extent of his injuries are “unknown,” but Hardy is expected to be kept overnight and released on Thursday.

On Saturday, Hardy crashed his Convertible into a pipe and tree driving between 55 and 70 MPH, according to a N.C. patrol officer. Hardy was subsequently arrested and charged with Driving While Intoxicated. Hardy was not drinking, according to the officer, but appeared to have taken an “impairing substance.”

Hardy, who was suspended by TNA at the time of his crash, was released from the company shortly after news broke of his arrest.

Hardy’s mug shot following his arrest was released online this week showing Hardy in poor condition with what appeared to be cuts on his forehead.

 
Matt Hardy is going to die very soon. I will not care at all. – Dusty

Matt Hardy mugshot released: nothing to see here, move along

Matt Hardy TMZ

Courtesy TMZ.com

Thanks to TMZ.com for keeping up on all the hot wrestling nooz: Matt Hardy’s mugshot has been released and has already made 12 laps around the Internet, but come on, we need to get our licks in, too.

Eric: “It’s not fair to watch a guy faint after hearing ‘I’m sorry, sir, we’re all out of Baconators’ and take a picture of him when he’s only half conscious.”

Jeremy: “Outside of the lump on his head, it looks like a normal pic. I do find it funny that alcohol made his lazy eye weirder, though; I wouldn’t have thought it would go up in the corner like that.”

Kevin: “I wish I could say that he looks drunk but he always has that same dumb look on his face.”

Dusty: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

Jordan: “I want a Mattitude fact in the corner.”

Dusty, a follow-up: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Also: Meth.”

MVP Is Gone

It looks like all that fancy gold and jewelry is going back to the pawn shop, because according to Dave Scherer:

WWE released MVP today. It seemed like it was going to happen sooner or later, given the stop/start nature of his push.

I thought WWE really had something when they introduced him, with the whole largest contract ever thing and the Teddy Long interaction and all that. He had a genuine charisma that made it easy to get behind him and hope for success. And then they turned him babyface and everything went to shit. MVP is Carlito Part 2: The Person. – Dusty

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