#ROH Is The Worst Part VIII

Signs and symptoms

Jay Lethal vs Jimmy Jacobs was a fair enough match. So was Cedric Alexander & Caprice Coleman vs Cliff Compton & Rhett Titus. Both matches were ROH vs SCUM. Both had injured babyfaces (Lethal & Coleman) that made valiant efforts but were still defeated. The idea of a heel getting a victory because of an injury is classic. There comes a problem when ROH executes it though. To borrow an example from Raw and of all unlikely people, HHH, let me point out some differences. Curtis Axel makes his debut on the 20th of May. He ends up challenging HHH because of Paul Heyman’s association with Brock Lesnar. The announcers do a good job of selling HHH’s brutal cage match. This part, ROH got right. Kevin Kelly sells the injury while Steve Corino mocks them for being idiots for wrestling while injured. Curtis Axel ends up knocking HHH silly after he puts up a semblance of fight, but not much one. I was surprised that Bigfoot Levesque put someone over fairly easily. That’s where ROH comes in, they decided to borrow from Bigfoot or John Cena. Jay Lethal came back several times and dominated the match. He only failed to win when his knee buckled after he was going for his second finisher. Lethal was well enough to execute his first finisher! Jacobs should have beaten him much easier. He got made to look weak during the match instead of looking like a heel who took advantage of a baby face’s injury.

Coleman pulled the same routine. He left the match for a long stretch leaving Cedric Alexander to fend for himself. Alexander did a good job of selling after the normal flurry of offense. Coleman was being escorted to the back by referees and EMTs when he came back to ringside to tag the hot tag. Coleman got in entirely too much offense. He ended up losing the match but again, SCUM was made to look so weak by barely beating an injured opponent. ROH is the worst.

On a side note, I was so happy that Steve Corino called out Kevin Kelly for slobbing Kevin Steen’s nob. Corino told him that he didn’t like Steen a month ago. Kelly countered with “He was a great world champion.” Corino ripped that idea since many people were former world champions. Kelly had no logical reason to back Steen so he started to call the match. Corino didn’t hound him but that’s okay. The damage was done. After hearing that though, it make me wonder if our old WWE mole is now working for ROH since I called Kelly out on it a month ago. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #192

This an excruciatingly special edition of Stunt Granny Audio because it features the reuniting of Jeremy, Eric and Dusty for the first time in a long, long time. And not only that, but it also features the debut of several different new features of Stunt Granny Audio, including the Top Five At Five, Match Game and the Mount Rushmore game. Can you barely contain your excitement!? They talk about the nine hour long AJ-Daniel Bryan-CM Punk segment that opened Raw, they talk about the heart warming ascent of Austin Aries, they talk about Iowa’s own Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame and who will all be there, and they talk about a whole lot more things that you can only know about if you listen to the audio. So why don’t you do that? NOW.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #192

@ImpactWrestling Twitter Compilation & Aftermath

Tweet: We’re now following @REALBully5150 because of another fun exchange between Joseph Park & him. The sentence was long. Park > Abyss. Aftermath: You can follow us @Stuntgranny just in case you’re new to the site. Ray started off slow but his mic work was better with Park in the ring. I’m so happy to not see the Abyss gimmick. It’s such a hacky rip off that just about anything he’d do other than it would be better. Park happens to be a fun, unimposing baby face which doesn’t get used enough.Good segment.

Tweet: Why did the Aries & Hogan feel like they taped in separate studios? Aftermath: They talked past each other because neither of their egos could share the camera. Bad segment.

Tweet: I’m finally getting sucked into this dumb AJ Styles story line. Still not worth the garbage that came before. Aftermath: They interviewed Dixie Carter about the father of Claire’s kid. This material has turned me because it’s very Jerry Springer or Maury with the whole baby daddy material. It’d crack me up with Kaz, Daniels & Styles had to take paternity tests. Good segment.

Tweet: Crimson dropping like a rock. First Morgan, now Devon who in no way needs that win. AJ Lee >>>>>>>>>> Madison Rayne. Aftermath: Devon is a good steady hand. Crimson still needs help. Did I use enough greater than symbols? Bad segment.

Tweet: Sabin didn’t feel real to me. Roode played his part well. Aftermath: I can’t add more.

Tweet: Flip Cassanova is fighting @JohnnyGargano ‘s clone who is related the Demolition Man. Good to see #PRIMEWrestling represent. Aftermath: Flip is still a bit sloppy & caused Dakota Darsow’s likely broken nose. Flip does look like’s he’s improved even with the problems.

Tweet: Glad that Tenay & Taz explained Gail Kim’s clause like it was a hostage situation. They call the match fine right after. Tweet #2: Why did the champ just get the sucker finisher then pin? Tara doesn’t need to look that strong. Aftermath: It felt like Al Qaeda dropped in thirty seconds then left. Bad match for the ladies which was made worse by Tara hitting the Widow’s Peak then letting Tessmacher hit her finisher too. Gail shouldn’t be getting her comeuppance the week before a title match. Bad segment.

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#WatchROH – Aired 11 March 2012

We get review of the main event from the previous week of Eddie Edwards vs Roderick Strong and the post match announcement that they will both take on Davey Richards at Showdown in the Sun. Jim Cornette explains how they’ll have a title match on both days at Showdown. Six men are fighting to determine who randomly gets a title match on the second day after the winner of the three way match on Friday. They went to commercial. Wow, what a terrible way to start a show.

Kenny King is excited about being part of Blind Destiny. He only has to beat Jay Lethal. Lethal ends up saying he failed. King pops back on. Lethal says it’s his destiny to get the title match. Not a fan of flipping back and forth between the promos. Kenny King came down with Rhett Titus. Jay Lethal hit the ring second. This shows how much I care about ROH, but is Baltimore like their Orlando? I’m too lazy to check on my own. The match had barely started. Just some early offense when Roderick Strong & Truth Martini came to ring side. Lethal took over after a strong beginning for King. Lethal tried for a top rope power bomb but King fought out. Lethal calls for the Lethal Injection but had to switch to the Lethal Combination. He only got two. Kng went for a roll up, Lethal turned it into a bridge pin for the win. That doesn’t make sense. There was no offense by Lethal before King got pinned.

Adam Cole is dressed in a suit. He is pumped about teaming with Eddie Edwards. He’s not going to back down to anyone. Kevin Steen is going to make Adam Cole a casualty. Still amusing in a bad way with the announcers talking down about Steen yet the vast majority of the crowd is cheering for him. Cole tried to use power at first but moved to speed and capitalized. Steen breaks the refs count when he tosses Cole against a post. Cole turned around things using his speed. He executed a nice tornado DDT.  Steen gave Cole an Orton middle rope DDT. Steen got two after a senton in the corner. Cole got in some kicks and a back cracker but only got two. Cole nailed a pair of super kicks. Cole charged at Steen and he turned it into a power bomb. Steen F5ed Cole for the win. Steen went for the package pile driver but Edwards made the save.

Roderick Strong didn’t like the triple threat stipulations. Eddie Edwards doesn’t like it either. He just wants one winner. Strong thinks it sucks that he has two opponent. It was the second time he said sucks. Oh, it wouldn’t suck if Edwards & Richards beat the hell out of each other. Not a good theme. Mike Bennett is going to beat Lance Storm so fast, he can still get the early bird special. Ha. Solid one. We get replay of the Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin feud with the Briscoes. Someone is getting carried out of Fort Lauderdale according to the Briscoes. That was so short it was pointless. The Young Bucks will see the dorks in Fort Lauderdale. You can tell this company thinks promos are useless.

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#WatchROH – Aired 25 February 2012

I watched An Idiot Abroad earlier.

For some reason, honor makes me think of Japan. Since Karl Pilkington just went to Mount Fuji on An Idiot Abroad, I figured it’d be a good picture to use. ROH has an internet pay per view going on right now but I’m not going to pay for it. We get recap of Charlie Haas taking on Mark Briscoe from the week. The Young Bucks are going to teach someone else to show the Briscoes what they’ll do to them later. Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander are the example. They worked their way up the food chain. The one guy ended by singing. I don’t know the difference between them. Caprice was the singer. Both teams are pulling out some fun aerial moves. Their characters stink. Pretty easy win for the Young Bucks. Their finisher is a bit much for me. It’s a Rolling Hill, 450 then a moonsault. Tomasso Ciampa is going to take whatever gold Jay Lethal has come March 4th.

DemBoys comes out to talk about the Lady Boys. They going to make the Young Bucks their bitches. Big man is going to beat $5000 out of Truth Martini if they come back to Baltimore. They’re going to put Charlie Haas or Shelton Benjamin in a body bag. I always think that’s stupid. No one is going to die.

We get more Kevin Steen review. Jimmy Jacobs learned one life lesson, evil wins. Jacobs is going to become more evil than Steen. Kevin Steen thinks Jacobs hope is amusing. He said Jacobs corporate man is going to kill him. He wants Jacobs to be evil. Rhett Titus is recovered from knee surgery. They want to prove they’re better than ever by beating Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas. I forget who Titus’s partner is. Truth Martini talks. Roderick Strong wants Jay Lethal to win because he can beat him easier. Strong has a match against Eddie Edwards to determine the number one contender. They are doing a great job of pimping tonight’s event, internet Pay per view that is.

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Kevin’s Blog: #ROH Aired 6 February 2012

Both Stunt Granny and ROH are trying to find the sweet spot.

They start the episode  by reviewing the situation with Jay Lethal and Mike Bennett. Kevin Kelly & Nigel McGuinness introduced the show. Mike Bennett is going to walk away with the TV Title while Maria acts like a dumb ass again. That’s not a good thing. There is no time limit to this match. They’re big on using the time limit which isn’t a bad thing. You can imply a lot with how the match is going. Bennett begs off to start the match. You know how I say that manager’s should be used more often? I’m thinking ROH could use a couple less managers. Brutal Bob the trainer, Truth Martini, Prince Nana & his lawyer. I’m probably forgetting someone. Anyway, over used for their roster size. Match was on pace for the time of the match when the commercial hits.

Glad Nigel tells us it’s a twenty count. What a weird count. Bennett is on the offense after a Jay Lethal miss. They have a dumb slugfest with them punching each other and not moving. ROH consistently does little stuff like that to make their matches lose some polish. Bennett gets a neck breaker for a two count. Maria tries to help Bennett but it backfires and Lethal wins with a crucifix roll up.

Veda Scott is with Eddie Edwards. He pretty much gives the same promo he had last week. Kyle O’Reilly interrupts. O’Reilly wants him to put up or shut up. Edwards says he has to prepare for a match next week. Just terrible.

They go over the Kevin Steen situation for what seems like the 300th time even though I’ve only been watching ROH for the year 2012. Kevin Kelly gets to interview him. Steen has been off for a year but he evidently was allergic to the gym. At least do some cardio fatty. He doesn’t understand why he was kept away for a year. I’m loving the fact that a guy who used to be mentally unstable is now the corporate boy in Davey Richards. He tries to yell at the crowd but half of them are cheering for him. It kind of kills the mood. Jim Cornette interrupts. Jim calls him out for being fat. Steen has terrible come backs. Jim bans the pile driver in any format. Steen repeats his promo before Cornette came out. He’s a main eventer? Really?

Truth Martini and the House of Truth blame the Briscoes for losing the eight man tag match and $10,000. They’re going to shut up the Briscoes according to Roderick Strong. Michael Elgin tells them they’ve written a check they can’t cash. Or something similarly hacky. The Briscoes say they eliminated Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas so the House of Truth had an easy path. Davey Richards says that he’s going to kick Jay Lethal’s head off. Glad he admits that he only has one move. The All Night Express is bummed because of Rhett Titus’ injury. Good to see an injured guy hanging around. They’re setting their eyes on the Young Bucks before going for the tag team titles.

Veda Scott interviews the Young Bucks. Matt & Nick Jackson hit on Veda. They sort of run down their opponents. They hit on her more. I want to put my hand thru this monitor. Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas hit the ring. Kelly admits they are running short on time. Haas tells us they’re not wrestling because Steen talked too much and their mic time got cut. So they’re taking their mic time. Benjamin calls for a rematch. They’re going to take the show hostage. Kevin Steen is threatening that too. Why are you running the same angle on the same show? You’re only an hour long.

Dem Boys the Briscoes hit the ring after the commercial break. Todd Sinclair calls for the bell as they brawl.  The action moves into the ring as Cornette rants about the night from hell. I know this is going to cut off but this match is going to be too short without interference. Nigel tells Cornette he’s setting a bad example by caving to those holding ROH for hostage. Amen Nigel. And it cuts off. Whatever. -Kevin

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