Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

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I want to pull out my hair from the majority of results this weekend on both Ring of Honor’s iPPV Final Resolution and WWE’s TLC PPV.  The Shield going over was not a decision that made me want to pull my hair out. I may add to this later.

Oh dear lord, both Mitchell Cool & Jerry Lawler pander to the lowest common denominator by telling us how to download an app for our smart phones. Rey Mysterio is taking on Damien Sandow in a singles match. I guess Rey wants his win. OR they’re keeping this feud going even longer. Neither of those excuses work for me. The first award gets more hype than the match. Booker T joins us. How nice of him. Our first award for most shocking moment of the year. Booker wants us to download their app. Fuck off. I’m not downloading it. I FF thru the award nominees. The Boogeyman comes out. I’m confused.

They did that just so Booker could say he did not just see that. Ugh. Brad Maddox comes prematurely. Get it? Wooka wooka. Kofi gets it for walking on his hands. Eve Torres is taking on Kaitlyn. I like the outfit change for Kaitlyn. Gut Buster for the Kaitlyn win. We get the New Age Outlaws to present an award. The crowd still eats him up. Comeback of the Year. How can Lawler not win that award. People would be heartless if they didn’t give it to him. Wooka wooka. He wins it.

Kofi Kingston takes on Tensai. The crowd is still chanting Albert. Trouble In Paradise. I wasn’t even slacking off on that match. It was that quick. Wade Barrett attacks him from behind. They explain again downloading apps. Fucking idiots.

Vickie Guerrero presents the Kiss of The Year award to AJ Lee and John Cena. Vickie wants her to explain her actions. She goes full on heel. This turn was predictable but it still wasn’t the right call. AJ kisses Dolph Ziggler. Vickie runs off screaming. Dolph acts like he wasn’t kissing back. Um, OK. Shouldn’t they be a couple if she’s a heel? Get Vickie away from him? The Great Khali is coming to the ring with Natalya Neidhart.

David Otunga gets to job to him. Wasn’t watching the match since the Slammy’s are so much more important. Ric Flair is presenting the Superstar of the Year Award. I would be surprised if my girl hadn’t texted me about it. John Cena wins the award. The grown man holding up the U C(an’t) See Me sign needs to be castrated. Or at least snipped. Cena wants to give the award to Flair? So he can sell it to cover debts. CM Punk comes out. Cena sure vamoosed quickly. Ric Flair takes Punk up on his one legged ass kicking scenario. Punk heads to the ring for the commercial break.

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Kevin’s Blog: Tough Enough Choice

The WWE had a choice Monday night and it showed the new direction of their company.

The WWE made what some people thought was a surprising choice in making Andy Leavine the first Tough Enough winner of the renewed series. I had a gut feeling along with some other people like our good buddy Travis Bryant (@travlord) over at the PW torch that the choice would be Andy over Luke Robinson.

After watching the show and through Raw, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why he was such an overwhelming choice. Bill DeMott, Trish Stratus and Booker T all picked Andy even though they all noted that it might be a little late for Andy to be really turning it up.

We note endlessly how the WWE likes big guys but Andy at 6′-5″ and 290. He isn’t so big that he’s a shoe in no matter how awful his in ring work is like the Great Khali. I will admit to being surprised that Luke was only 212 pounds when they showed the wrestling clips from FCW. I think CM Punk is small and they list him at 222. I don’t think it helped Luke (as Jeremy helped clarify) that for as in shape as he was, he doesn’t have a big chest or arms. Even though Andy was the bigger of the men, I didn’t think that was the main factor in the decision.

After Raw when I was preparing potato salad for a bachelor party, it hit me the main reason Andy got picked. All through the show, they laced Andy as the good guy and Luke as a party boy. Andy promised his wife he wouldn’t drink while he was away and aside from having a beer with Luke and Steve Austin after getting into the final. Meanwhile, Luke reveled in the party boy image at the beginning of the show. Joey Styles (@JoeyStyles) tweeted after the first episode –

In the Tough Enough house and drinking all night? The booze is a temptation test numbnuts! Train, eat, sleep, repeat and win, balloonheads!

After the roller skating challenge that Trish presented the contestants, regular patrons looked on in disgust as Luke and Jeremiah ground on servers, dancers and anyone else in their sight. Luke made fun of Andy for not drinking after this contest for the first time, if memory serves. When the Divas came visiting, Luke and Jeremiah were at the head of the class in drinking again. They slapped each other in public and made a general scene while Andy kicked back and said to one of the Divas that he had promised his wife that he wouldn’t drink.

The last show really hammered home this point. Andy was shown at home helping his wife clean, taking care of their child, had his wife act as his trainer and they even brought their child to the work out. Meanwhile, Luke’s first image was of him and his friends partying on a boat. Luke said that he wanted to party like a rock star and said that every time he came back home, it was going to be that way. The WWE did show him doing a Brock Lesnar inspired work out video to not make him look completely bad.

In recent years, the WWE has be careful to get rid of anyone who parties because of deteriorating image with so many early deaths. They got rid of Kurt Angle, then Jeff Hardy and his brother Matt for other reasons but one would have to assume that their life style didn’t help the WWE bridge the gap in negotiations or in their willingness to not grant them their release. After the WWE brass saw all of the incidents with Luke, they made up their mind that they didn’t want to hire another PR head ache. The WWE brass wanted Andy, the family man. He fits into their PG mold because he’s going out to make a better living for his family, not party.

After trying to put my finger on why the WWE picked Andy, I had to prepare for a party of my own for it to dawn on me. – Kevin

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