WWE To Sign Two Fresh Faces To Developmental Deals?

From Logopond.com by cspainey

From Logopond.com by cspainey

On Monday according to Prowrestling.net, the WWE was expected to sign Kevin Steen and Willie Mack to developmental contracts. It’s Thursday and nothing has been made official yet. So that gives me the time to remind everyone that the last time two ROH stars were jumping to the WWE because of a nondescript video from England, they went to TNA so that Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards could wear bad cow skin & wolf hair coats. That leaves TNA time to swoop in and sign Steen & Mack.

If that does happen, the story line will be Dixie Carter signed Steen under MVP’s nose so that she can rid herself of her Bully Ray problem. Steen will then get to fight Abyss for the TV Title completely ignoring Dixie Carter’s plan to become a baby face by supporting Eric Young for a reason that will never be mentioned on TV. Since TNA or the talents they hire can’t come up with new gimmicks Fight Steen Fight will be shortened to Fight Steen.

MVP will then hire Willie Mack because we all know that “those people” stick together. Along with Bobby Lashley and Kenny King, they’ll become the Republic of Reign. Or the Country of Supremacy. Or the Dominion of Domination. Or Association of Power. They will reign supreme over TNA until Rockstar Spud turns on Dixie Carter and becomes part of the group. He will break Jesse Sorensen’s neck again (who was re-hired by Dixie Carter too) and eventually leave the group. Willie Mack will end up turning on MVP after the crowd starts to support his new catch phrase “If Inhale The Odors from Mack’s Kitchen!” – Kevin

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Stunt Granny Audio #257

Did you ever wonder which comedy shows Jeremy and Kevin watch? You’ll know now because they kicked off the show talking about FX and FXX. If you’re going to anchor a new comedy channel, shouldn’t your two biggest comedies, Archer & Louie, be on FXX? What specific problem does Kevin have with viewing shows on this station?  Why was Legit with Jim Jefferies canceled after this last season? It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia gets to stick around for another three years but is it because of their length of airing on FX? Why is Wilfred still on FX? Or is it? The guys finally talk Raw as Jeremy watches Luke Harper in the main event. How many times can he sing Harper’s praises? When will it stop being a surprise that Harper is having good matches? Why is it that the youth movement isn’t young? How young is Harper? How about Bray Wyatt? Why do the women seem to be younger as a group than the men? Jeremy & Kevin move on to some slightly old news by talking about the stock drop analysis from Aaron Taube of Yahoo! Why does it sound like nothing they’ve read before? What parts of the article are untrue? Could he have done more research for his article?  Are the commentators helping prove the writer’s point? Would blood make the WWE more profitable? Who spends more money on merchandise? What gem of a comment did Jeremy end with? Why would any wrestling fan want the WWE to go down in flames? Do you really want ROH to be the best company in the US? To finish up the show, the guys talk about the 25th Anniversary of Roadhouse. Find out how great Patrick Swayze is when you click on the link below. Don’t worry, the pain in your ears won’t hurt.

 

#RingOfHonor Is The Second Worst

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usmilitary.about.com

Since TNA/Impact Wrestling has wrestled the crown of worst promotion from the very incapable hands of Ring of Honor, I wasn’t sure if I could continue doing this column. I will try to talk about the positives  but I already know it’s not going to last long. Simple solution. When they do more than 50% positive in a show, I’ll call it “ROH is Second Worst”, if not it will resume it’s former name of “ROH is the Worst.”

Tomasso Ciampa had a quality match with Roderick Strong, who continues to look better than he had for the last year and a half. 2014 has been sharp for him from what I’ve seen aside from not knowing how to take the Styles Clash. ROH has highlighted the ongoing feud between Cedric Alexander and The Decade, which consists of Strong, Jimmy Jacobs, BJ Whitmer and lackey Adam Page. Alexander interfered in Strong’s match and cost him the victory. They ended up fighting after the match which I’m not a big fan of since they are fighting at the next pay per view. On a positive note, they have fought recently (last week if memory serves) so they weren’t giving away anything we haven’t seen before. Having people cost their adversary a victory is in the Booking 101 hand book. Good on ROH.

Silas Young versus The Romantic Touch was good for what it is. The Romantic Touch is mildly amusing character so he lost to the more serious Young. Silas isn’t going to be moving up the ladder any time soon but he had a quality feud with Mark Briscoe early this year. He should and did get the win over the comedy act. ROH is 2 for 2.

Kevin Steen‘s claim for the World Title is a very valid one since he never got a rematch for his title. Playing a video package to recap this feud is what you should be doing. I never said wrestling was rocket science.

Bobby Fish & Kyle O’Reilly cut a quality promo against the Young Bucks. I could have used without Kyle O’Reilly drinking casually out of a coffee mug but he was fine when he spoke. Bobby Fish really delivered and made me like this short promo.

Jimmy Jacobs taking on Corey Hollis was another example of The Decade going after younger wrestlers and disrespecting them. Jacobs did his part by not shaking hands with Hollis. The Decade also debuted a new lackey, Tadarius Thomas. I’m not sure that ROH needed to add anyone else to the ranks of the Decade because four seems to be a good limit. I’m also not sure what they have in mind so I’ll give the angle some time. Jacobs ended up winning the match without interference, which is another good choice by ROH. If The Decade wants to maintain their disdain of younger wrestlers, they need to beat them first so that the crowd rallies behind Cedric Alexander and whoever else they have help to dismantle The Decade.

Michael Elgin versus Rocky Romero was a good quality main event. It wasn’t anything special but much like the Touch vs Young match, the correct person won in Michael Elgin, which isn’t a given in ROH. They gave Romero enough offense to not look bad but had Elgin win fairly handily. Quality show for ROH all around. Maybe I’ll start calling them Second Best if this keeps up. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

Copy Cats– TNA is trying to copy the WWE again and failing miserably. Eric Young won a ten man gauntlet battle royal. I feel like they’re trying to make Eric Young the big underdog that the WWE made out of Daniel Bryan. It’s also just a tad bit convenient that they both have beards and crazy hair. They’re both undersized wrestlers. They’ve both been around for a while. Unfortunately for TNA, those surfaces similarities is where things stop. Let’s go point by point.

Underdog Status: Eric Young has been “under appreciated” his whole career in TNA is what he claims. Which is similar to, Daniel Bryan’s underdog, B+ status except that Bryan has proved it in the ring for the last four years in the WWE. Before that, he was one of the most respected in ring competitors for years in Ring of Honor before it was terrible. Eric Young has proven that he’s a capable wrestler over his ten year stint in TNA. Capable is nowhere near most respected worker in the business. Win: Daniel Bryan.

Crazy Beard & Crazy Hair: Both of them do indeed have large beards. One could make the argument that Young’s hair type makes his beard thicker than the Bryan beard that lays flat and straight. The crazy hair is where Young loses me. He’s going bald both in the back and receding in the front. Bryan just let’s that stuff grow hippie style which looks scrongey to me but it is a style that works for him. Win: Daniel Bryan.

Undersized & Been Around: I lumped these together because they have both partially been covered in the above topics. Young is not the wrestler that Bryan is. So his underdog gimmick is not believable. Another reason it isn’t believable is because Young hasn’t faced top flight competition. Daniel Bryan had Randy Orton “beaten” before HHH Pedigreed him. He had also beaten other top competition. Young has beaten no one. He didn’t even get to beat Abyss in their feud! Young hasn’t advanced his career in ten years. I don’t care if he ever hosted a barely watched TV show on Animal Planet. Bryan has worked his ass off for fifteen years and progressing at a solid pace. He is undersized so he has more to prove than your average wrestler. Considering he just captured the WWE Title at Wrestlemania XXX, I’d say he’s advanced as high as you can in professional wrestling. Win: Daniel Bryan.

Holy Shit: I never read spoilers so if this was posted I didn’t know about it. TNA actually had Eric Young win the TNA Title like Bryan just did. Just an incredibly dumb decision. I thought for sure since he got the shot on a “regular” Thursday night broadcast that he’d lose to Magnus. So I was more surprised at this victory than Bryan’s but that’s not a good thing. He shouldn’t win your most important title for the reasons listed above. For all of the dumb decisions TNA has made, this is the biggest. Ever. I apologize to Ring of Honor now for publishing the article directly below this one. You are absolved of all sins. Epic Fail: TNA.

Stunt Granny Audio #243

A-diamond-in-the-roughOh holy crap, Dusty and Kevin are back once again to lay down some serious opinionz for your listening pleasure. They start out by trying to recreate the magic of their off-air conversation about ROH and pro wrestling in general. Are Adam Cole and Jay Briscoe the only diamonds in the ROH rough? How would their skills translate in the major leagues? Was WWE justified in getting rid of Chris Hero? Does Dusty believe that having good talent on your roster is a good thing?

Then they turn their attention to the big “real sports” story of the day: Dan Lebatard giving his Baseball Hall of Fame to Deadspin.com. Kevin stays out of the way as Dusty rails against the holier than thou baseball writers that have been torching his hero the last couple days. Is the voting process flawed? How can real change be effected? How do we know who did and didn’t use steroids when Alex bleeping Sanchez tested positive for it? Dusty has a proposal for the Carolina Panthers to counter the 49ers’ use of Ric Flair before their victory over the Green Bay Packers last week. They also talk briefly about the NFL coaching carousel and it will only take about an hour of your life, so listen to it or else you might lose your vote!

Stunt Granny Audio #235

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Freed from the shackles of audio ban, Dusty is back once again to join Kevin for another rousing edition of Stunt Granny Audio. The fearless duo talk about whether TNA is really up for sale or not, and if so, who might be among the potential buyers. And does it even really matter since TNA doesn’t exactly have a sterling reputation for knowing what to do with their product anyway. And might this be just another business acquisition for Vince McMahon to add to his tape library?

They then switch gears to talk about the goings on in the last episode of Monday Night Raw. Dusty talks about how he thinks Jay Briscoe is the best thing about professional wrestling right now. Kevin expresses his sadness for the state of his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers right now. Dusty grills Kevin about the Richie Incognito-Jonathan Martin bullying scandal. And a whole lot more fun and nonsense, including Dusty challenging the listeners to come up with an example of a good song about dinosaurs, and it will only cost you an hour of your life and your cold black soul, so why not listen!

Matt Hardy is getting married

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You know how I know that? That thing I wrote, above, in the headline? It’s because there exists a website called http://skyhardwedding.com/, that’s why.

And so I’ll let you peruse that site at your leisure, and you can form your own opinions on the contents therein, but please allow me one split second on my soap box, just for one second.

Ahem.

All athletes who get married are idiots. You’re roaming around the countryside, going from town to town, state to state, you’ve got rats in every town (I’ve seen Bull Durham, it’s not just wrestling that that happens), there is almost a zero percent chance of a marriage working when you’re a “famous” professional athlete. Ask John Cena, he’ll tell you that there’s no way he would consider getting married again. Oh. Oops.

So, not that I would expect any sparking brain cells from that drug addled small penised belt collecting, job refusing fuckhead, but at least he’ll be able to afford a nice ceremony on that ROH money he’s bringing in.

And PS, fuck Bull Durham. Bad movie, and I love the DH. Makes baseball more exciting. Suck it. – Dusty

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