The Art of Wrestling: Warhol Affliction

TNA thinks it's being creative. They're not.

jeremymaes: they are all the same damn shirt
jeremymaes: that makes it easier
difrango11: Why wasn’t Roode wearing these in the build up for BFG?
jeremymaes: shh, you make sense
difrango11: Yes, they’re all the same Affliction rip off shirt
jeremymaes: I mean just about everyone, save Jeff Hardy and Sting
difrango11: Jeff’s is even pretty tired with it being a Warhol rip off, which they acknowledge. When the WWE rips off designs, they alter them some and give it a different spin like Cena’s John Deere inspired shirt. TNA put Hardy in a stock Warhol painting
jeremymaes: dude, you know what is coming next.  post it. hell just that little thing here.
difrango11: I suppose they made it different since Marilyn Monroe’s face is on it and Hardy has his whole body in it. I was going to ask if you were bating me into a column
jeremymaes: yes I was but I noticed the same things

This exchange happened and finally got my ass in gear even though I started a column earlier this month about CM Punk’s Halloween package over at Jeremy said that I could just leave our chat alone, but I couldn’t. I feel the need to explain myself more. The anger of the issues presented here make me want to do this article more than the CM Punk Halloween package. I can break this column down to three parts.

Jeremy’s comment: They are all the same damn shirt. Click on the links, they pretty much are. They have some type ovular middle with wings of some sort sprouting off of them. Many people, like Steve Austin or Randy Orton, have the same theme over and over again. That is fine but they wait months in between bringing out the new design. Robert Roode has two of them come out at the same time. Let him wear the first shirt in the build up to Bound For Glory, which is so much of a no brainer TNA didn’t do it. After Roode wins the title, you have him wear the new shirt for a while then he busts out the new four months down the road. Of course TNA did the dumb thing, had Roode lose and then not even have him wear his shirt on the next Impact Wrestling. It’s mind numbingly dumb. Velvet Sky was wearing hers after her big title win (You got the meaningless title change right. Congrats!) as she should have been. It’s called advertising.

My comment: Yes, they’re all the same Affliction rip off shirt. For six of their top nine shirts as Jeremy helped clear up by pointing out the different style of Sting and Jeff Hardy’s shirts. It’s fine to have a template design like the Cena shirt mentioned above. Twist the design somehow by making Bobby Roode’s more about him. The first one doesn’t even have his name on it or a slogan of his. It is in no way identifiable as a shirt for him. Affliction can get away with doing that because they’re a brand of shirt. Roode is not a brand. He is a wrestler in the TNA brand. Roode got his name on the “Off The Chain” shirt but I don’t get the theme much like I was scratching my head when Randy Orton started using a gas mask for a symbol. Velvet Sky’s does have her name on it but doesn’t really make it hers. She has a fantastic assets that are curvy. One would think that you could use those to base your ovular design on but they didn’t.

My comment: Jeff’s is even pretty tired with it being an Andy Warhol rip off, which they acknowledge. I started to back track and I should have. I’m probably not going to ever argue that Warhol was the greatest artist ever. His paintings still have more depth to them than Hardy’s shirt does. Seeing as though Jeff fancies himself as an artist, I’m not sure how he’d say “That looks great!” unless he’s doing naughty things again. If you’re wondering about how I could say Warhol has depth with a lithographed painting, take a look at the painting of Marilyn Monroe then Hardy’s shirt. The images of Monroe are all different. On the left hand pair, her teeth are colored, her famous mole is the same as the background color and her skin color is consistent. On the right hand pair, her teeth are white, the mole is a different colored than the background and her skin color has different tones of the same color. There are other variations but I think you get the point. On Hardy’s shirt, the background color in the upper left hand corner is the highlight color in the lower right hand corner. The same is true of the upper right and lower left hand corners. TNA could have highlighted his necklace, earrings, hair or even his trade mark forearm socks to make it closer to authentic but they didn’t.

TNA ripped off Affliction and Andy Warhol with these shirts. Neither of these examples set the bar really high to be able to reproduce. TNA managed to still do a poor job of replicating them without putting a twist on them. Most people learn from their mistakes, TNA seems incapable of doing that simple task. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #158

Eric & Jeremy bring on another Asshole Edition of the Stunt Granny Audio. You won’t believe who they make fun of the whole show to prove that they are indeed assholes. Speaking of that orifice, they start the show off talking about Mr. Anderson and the rest of TNA. What did Kevin say TNA did right this past week? Did Eric & Jeremy agree with him? What did they think happened right this week? Is Bobby Roode getting the proper build up for his title shot? Is James Storm still outshining Roode? And just how funny was Kurt Angle talking to Jeff Hardy? Eric & Jeremy eventually move on to Raw talk. Was it a good idea to have Alberto Del Rio on the head sets along with CM Punk? Are the Super Shows helping or hurting people? Is it a two way street between the shows? Is Jeremy caving on his long term faith in the WWE’s writing skills with the recent posting of the video footage on of the Miz & R Truth? Find out that and Eric’s Twitter address by clicking on the link below!Stunt Granny Audio Show #158

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Impact Wrestling

Immortal should have been dressed more like these two. This bar is in the Stanley Hotel, where "The Shining" took place. Cool place.

After review from Slammiversary, Immortal shows up in tuxedos. I’m laughing already. Waiting for a train wreck. How white trash, a camo tuxedo. The poker theme is better than the Raw Roulette Wheel, right? Trying to find something positive about this skit. Crazy Sting is comedy awfulness. He needs to channel his inner R Truth. Did they let Orlando Jordan go because Sting is going to be acting as the gay Joker? Oh no, Pennywises are in the rafters. I’m confused but it’s still shit.

They are doing a good job of hyping the Bound For Glory Series. It is ridiculous that they’re trying to sell us on “Bobby” Roode. His character change isn’t working. He’s not a common man.Roode shouldn’t have let Dinero off the hook for the Muscle Buster. you’d be 1 on 1 against Joe, who you have a step on. The losing gimmick doesn’t work in TNA. Samoa Joe has to be kicking himself. What an after thought. Punk is the talk of the town.Did I miss when the Jarretts stopped being gone forever?

Now they’re ready to kick Abyss out of the crew? You need stability with your factions. What was that belt? Shouldn’t you explain that more? I’m not sure where they’re headed with this Devon and Pope thing. If the kids turn on Devon, like Pope suggested, doesn’t excite me.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of iMPACT Wrestling

Wrestling news has been slow for two weeks now.

For the last two weeks, there hasn’t been much news. God bless Eric who has squeezed blood out of two different stones this week alone. I mean, is Foley bragging about himself again really news? Eric skewers him well as he always does but seriously, that’s the big news of the last two weeks? OK, I almost feel like I’m doing a write up for an audio now. Since the news is slow and my moron buddy forgot to call me before coming over to watch the Bruins against Lightning, I’m headed to the hurt locker voluntarily and doing a review of iMPACT Wrestling, Will it be a new era? Not from what I read. Now I get to witness it.

I almost started without a Yuengling. Silly Kevin. My DVR was still set to record this show even with the name change. RVD has taken a serious tumble. Losing to Sting at this juncture is pathetic. I’m sure this is a new entrance montage but I don’t remember what the last one was like. Immortal saunters to the ring. The blue ring ropes makes me think Smackdown. The whole black, white and blue theme reminds me of Smackdown. You just needed to stay away from blue and red. Is it that hard? Go green. Go black. Go yellow for Hogan colors. Kendrick’s music is worse than Daniel Bryan’s. Kendrick isn’t odd enough to be delivering this message. Plus, the X Division being resurrected is like the US or IC Title meaning something again.Easy E’s arms look bigger than they used to. Mildly, Moderate Red is all you have Bischoff? TNA couldn’t have picked a more bland group to represent the X Division. Plus, it’s another large faction after Immortal & Fortune. Taz acting like Bischoff getting into the ring is a big deal is embarrassing. We end up with one big brawl. The Bucks and Red just about kill themselves to show that the X Division does suck.

Tenay acting like Sting was in his trademark gear was embarrassing too. You could tell by skin color it wasn’t Sting. Six woman tag match starts after the break. Anarquia is the hype man. Better choice than Hernandez. Miss Tessmacher making making up for a lack of wrestling by doing robot dancing. She still has the most fantastic heiney in wrestling. Madison Rayne over acting. Rosita takes the beating since Rayne is a coward.

Kazarian versus Abyss for the X Division title.  Taz bringing an astounding dumb line of logic to why there shouldn’t be an X Division. Taz continues to make no sense (Cole employs logic for Pete’s sake) during a mediocre match. Abyss fakes an injury to win a match that the announcers called him a favorite in. Taz said the internet is burning up because of the title change. Wow, he is terrible.

Samoa Joe squashes Amazing Red. Crimson makes the save. Crimson can’t figure out how to get his shirt off. Great example of how inept TNA is.

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The Art of Wrestling – Extra! Extra!

It's good training for the cases of beer you'll be lugging around in college.

It's good training for the cases of beer you'll be lugging around in college.

Beer Money was one of the hottest acts in TNA until they got pushed under the bus and made unimportant by Team 3D and World Elite. So it’s a minor miracle that TNA decided to give them a new shirt.

I think Robert Roode might be the first wrestler to not make an ass out of himself when he’s modeling their shirt. They used a tabloid front page as their template. Considering that newspapers are on their way out, it seems like an odd model to use but I think it makes for a good look. TNA either never defined where Roode got his money or it came and went so quickly on their action packed show that I forgot. I would have suggested they use whatever business he owned for the template.

On the front of the shirt, in the upper left (as you’re viewing it) side of the shirt is the Beer Money logo with “The Daily Buzz” as the newspaper name. Appropriately enough they have put the ads in the “Money Section”. I am entertained that below it in between the red lines it says “The Hair of The Dog Edition”. The price tag is below the right hand side so it costs 50 cents. If TNA were smart, they’d distribute a small 4 page flyer updating Beer Money’s exploits in the ring and the financial district at the television tapings. The left hand picture shows Storm driving his beer cart while Roode appears to be pushing him down a walkway. The main headline is “Back On The Wagon” in white with another cheap but expected “Rollin’ In The Dough” subheadline that is white text with a square red nameplate. On the right hand side of the shirt, they have one of their main tag lines “Drinking while Investing”. Below that is an appropriate headline for the times with “Beer Money Goes Green” with the subheadline “Saves Water, Drinks Beer” which isn’t true since you need water to make beer. There’s another picture in the lower right side with Stomr and Roode being back to back and a tab to go to “Page Six” unfortunately neither of them are hot women with their boobs hanging out. There’s another line of text in the bottom but it’s too hard to make out.

I do read the headlines while in line at the grocery store.

I do read the headlines while in line at the grocery store. Thanks to the National Equirer for the picture by way of Google Images.

On the back, is another tag line “Makin’ Cash…Gettin’ Trashed” with the quote being from “Beer Money, Inc. 1 on 1” with the on being the Beer Money Inc. symbol. The back is simple, but it’s just over kill with all of the text on the front. If just the TNA logo were on there it’d be a better shirt.

Overall though it’s a good shirt that Jon Gosselin should be wearing. -Kevin

James Storm Lengthens Stay In Purgatory.

Appealing to the ladies.

Appealing to the ladies.

This news should be taken with mixed emotions; according to via Jeremy Borash’s Twitter, James Storm has reupped with TNA for an unspecified amount of time. Now, the good news is that James is going to make some more money and that is a good thing. Hell, every wrestler right now needs to make sure they have some sort of sustainable steady income so there is no begrudging the man.

This is a big win for TNA as well since they get to keep one of the only successful acts they have going right now intact for as long as they see fit. Knowing TNA though, Beer Money will break up after the next PPV, feud and then instantly regret signing with TNA.

On the other hand this sucks because WWE is in the midst of pushing new wrestlers. Look at ECW and Smackdown for evidence of this. Storm has the look of a star and he is one of the only wrestlers on the TNA roster that carries themselves like an actual star. He would have been a welcome addition to ECW in the short run but he would not have been out of place on Smackdown. Oh and no, I am not cursing anyone to a run on RAW. Hopefully he signed a short extension and after seeing if WWE makes good on their new star initiative he can get big money from them. No one should count on it but it’s worth a thought. -Jeremy

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