WWE To Sign Two Fresh Faces To Developmental Deals?

From Logopond.com by cspainey

From Logopond.com by cspainey

On Monday according to Prowrestling.net, the WWE was expected to sign Kevin Steen and Willie Mack to developmental contracts. It’s Thursday and nothing has been made official yet. So that gives me the time to remind everyone that the last time two ROH stars were jumping to the WWE because of a nondescript video from England, they went to TNA so that Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards could wear bad cow skin & wolf hair coats. That leaves TNA time to swoop in and sign Steen & Mack.

If that does happen, the story line will be Dixie Carter signed Steen under MVP’s nose so that she can rid herself of her Bully Ray problem. Steen will then get to fight Abyss for the TV Title completely ignoring Dixie Carter’s plan to become a baby face by supporting Eric Young for a reason that will never be mentioned on TV. Since TNA or the talents they hire can’t come up with new gimmicks Fight Steen Fight will be shortened to Fight Steen.

MVP will then hire Willie Mack because we all know that “those people” stick together. Along with Bobby Lashley and Kenny King, they’ll become the Republic of Reign. Or the Country of Supremacy. Or the Dominion of Domination. Or Association of Power. They will reign supreme over TNA until Rockstar Spud turns on Dixie Carter and becomes part of the group. He will break Jesse Sorensen’s neck again (who was re-hired by Dixie Carter too) and eventually leave the group. Willie Mack will end up turning on MVP after the crowd starts to support his new catch phrase “If Inhale The Odors from Mack’s Kitchen!” – Kevin

#ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

From widowsvoice.blogspot.com

From widowsvoice.blogspot.com

Things are back to normal in the DiFrango household after I got stranded in Chicago because of a smoking restroom fan in the control tower and weather related problems. My welcome back is getting to take Impact Wrestling off my DVR after I finally watch Raw. I’m glad I watched an hour this morning so it’s only a PPVs worth of wrestling for me tonight. Time to have fun at TNA’s expense.

MVP turning already is tragic. You can really tell TNA had no idea why they installed Eric Young as champion. I have no idea how this was part of MVP’s “plan.” He admitted he didn’t think EY would win the title but it sped up his plan. So the only conclusion I can make is that MVP planned on a weak champion at some point during his reign so that he could win the title. How is that a good plan? It’s the world championship. That doesn’t happen much. I know it’s TNA and all of the possible champions could be called weak but TNA can’t address it that way on TV.

– I hope this Bram character can make Magnus a more aggressive attitude. His weakness was as champ was being too much of a waffle. I hope the idea is to make Magnus consistently wanted to hurt people is installed. It sure seems that’s where it’s headed. Willow/Jeff Hardy is a good target especially if TNA plans on keeping Magnus in the main event scene. A win over him in a singles match at even a TV PPV would serve a good purpose. A distraction win for Hardy on this night is in fitting with the angle too. The only problem was it was in no way should Magnus have been pinned with a small package, barely damaged.

Eric Young trashing MVP’s office isn’t cool like TNA intended. It’s EY acting like a child. You didn’t get a beat down like HHH gave to Daniel Bryan. It was a cheap attack but he didn’t handcuff you and beat the snot out of you. EY has no reason to be this pissed off. MVP is no different than any other opponent he could have named for you. Did EY think he’d fight some cream puff?

– Do I really need to go into why the Bully Ray vs Dixie Carter stuff is terrible? Same thing, week after week. Just because you “shoot on location” doesn’t mean it’s different.

Gail Kim and The Beautiful People is bombing because Kim isn’t over as a heel and the Beautiful People aren’t hated as heels. Taz & Mike Tenay pointing out how over Kim was only made it more obvious amongst the tepid response. Just like other acts in TNA, the Beautiful People are only together again because they were once great but now are stale. They haven’t freshened up the act at all. It doesn’t really matter that Kim beat Velvet Sky. Everyone knows Velvet is the “road block” to the champ Angelina Love. Perfect example of not freshening up the act. Sky stuck around, shouldn’t she be the champ supported by Angelina.

Rebel has a fantastic heiney. Other than that, I wasn’t impressed last week by The Menagerie. TNA in no way let on that Knux was part of a carnival family. How did a flood kill the business then? You’re mobile! Get the fuck away from where ever it was going to flood. Fuck you if you decided to still it out. Crazy Steve is taking on the nearly departed Kazarian. It ended up in a DQ win for Kazarian. It made no sense. Knux looks like he decided to pack on some weight too.

– Immediately after this lengthy waste of time, Austin Aries confronts MVP about not being honest. Hey, a positive! TNA remembers that Aries called MVP a phony not that long ago when he joined Bobby Roode. Aries clocks one of the body guards which gets him booted by the others. Eric Young then attacks MVP and they cut to commercial. They follow up their lone positive with a terrible mistake. They are still fighting after the break. MVP and Young even fight into the ring. Thanks for giving away your match. Young also made his comeback after MVP stomped his arm in a chair. Taz had the misfortune of trying to still sell the arm injury. MVP then declares their match tonight. Nothing like solving a problem (MVP turning already) by creating a larger one, burning through Young’s few options as credible opponents as quickly as possible. First Abyss, then Bobby Roode and now MVP. Congrats on lording the title of worst organization over ROH.

– Do you remember a time when James Storm against Ken Anderson would have been anticipated? I don’t either. I wasn’t planning on typing anything other than the winner of the match but Storm did something so dumb, it had to be noted. After distracting the ref and giving Anderson the old trick knee, he puts his feet on the ropes for the pin with the referee having a clear view. Having Storm win with beer to the eyes is a way to extend a meaningless feud.

– I like that TNA is using video packages for Sanada‘s promo time. WWE could learn something about wrestlers who don’t speak English. Unfortunately, they are using his approval from the Great Muta entirely too much. Let him focus on being great now that you’ve developed his ties to Muta over his first several months in TNA. Tigre Uno being in the match makes no sense since he already lost in a best of three series with Sanada. I love DJ Z in this spot because he’s a good wrestler but it’s odd for the lackey of a group to be going after the singles title. Sanada pins DJ Z with a double underhook bridging suplex. Have DJ Z pin Sanada in a non-title match so that they can have another title fight.

EC3 moving on to Bully Ray after finishing off Kurt Angle makes sense. It’s the only part of the segments that made any sense. Even if EC3 doesn’t deserve it.

– I have no idea why Kenny King is joining forces with MVP. They just hated each other! Even the announcers were forced to mention the recent feud. Then Bobby Lashley joined the crew. It’s not just the WWE that teams together all of the black gentlemen. What a horrific group with no commonalities. They didn’t even foreshadow this group coming together. How do you book something this poorly? So it’s EY & Austin Aries vs MVP, Kenny King & Bobby Lashley? My head hurts. Impact Wrestling is the worst. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio Show#248

That's nice. Now when is he leaving?

That’s nice. Now when is he leaving?

Can you believe it’s time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio?! Well, you better believe it, you dummy, because it totally is! This time around, Kevin and Dusty guide you through the latest and greatest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. Jay Lethal had some stuff to say, but really it was just an excuse for everyone to call him an ass goblin and talk about CM Punk. Was Punk really being treated unfairly in the booking? Was it an insult to book him against Triple H at Mania? Would he fit in to the current ROH scene? Or worse, TNA? How does WWE see Punk in the grand scheme of things?

They then move on to talk about Daniel Bryan and how his YES chant is catching fire across the globe. Many sports teams are picking up on it. Bryan could be a breakout superstar in the business because of this whole thing. Also, what is stopping the Miz from going any higher up the card? Dusty makes a bold prediction about the Miz as well. Also, there is discussion about Ethan Carter III in TNA. He was given the opportunity a lot of wrestlers would kill for with this gimmick, but can he carry the weight? All this and a whole lot more nonsense that you’ll have to hear to believe, so hear it already.

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

002 Tarek (Moritz Bleibtreu)Eric Young‘s experiment on Abyss/Joseph Park took a turn that I had not predicted last week. Young was determined to unmask Abyss and he finally did near the end of the match. It seemed it had dawned on Abyss that he was indeed Joseph Park. TNA cheesed it up by having him see himself in a broken piece of a mirror. I could get behind an unmasked Park because he looks better without the ten cent Mankind rip off mask.

Bobby Roode‘s baby face turn was planted even more with his frustration with Dixie Carter since she couldn’t make him the number one contender against Magnus. TNA has lost more baby faces than heels in the mass exodus of talent so they could use someone else on that side.

MVP is claiming to not want in ring action. Rockstar Spud is terrible as a lackey. His size fits the bill but that’s it. MVP makes a match between Magnus and Kurt Angle. I think it’s terrible to not build up this match now that Magnus is champ even if it’s to a TV PPV.

Bully Ray is making the best of some bad writing. It’s not enough to overcome the limitations. Curry Man comes out then Bully Ray comes out. Now is Curry Man’s opponent not going to come out? Or did he come out at an unscheduled time because Curry Man has free reign in TNA? Neither of those explanations are good to me. Unfortunately for him, he gets his ass handed to him by Bully Ray. Bully finishes Curry Man off by getting him into a pile driver then yelling “Anderson” then executing the move. Jeremy Borash follows up with what has to be the dumbest line that will be said all year “That was a direct message to Mr. Anderson.” with dramatic pauses in there. Just wow.

Zema Ion did the smart thing and assaulted Austin Aries with his X Division briefcase then calling for the referee. It’s a heel tactic by a heel. TNA uses logic for a change. Congratulations. No surprise that Ion was in a glorified jobber match. He got offense only because of the briefcase. Aries wins with the brainbuster.

Continue reading

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

bizarro_world

From panelsonpages.com

– I really wish England would have made Magnus‘s promo a Bizarro World style one where the crowd cheered for him. Unfortunately, the crowd really wasn’t that into him. Kurt Angle is going to continue using Sting’s description of Magnus as a “Paper Champion” which is catching on for some reason but it shouldn’t be. That term is older than most of JBL’s references. Dixie Carter tried to talk Magnus out of a match that could make Angle or Samoa Joe number one contender but it wasn’t successful. I like Magnus’s defiance to Dixie is reasonable and not over the top anger which makes his character interesting. Too bad he isn’t selling it to me in any other way.

Lai’d Tapa is still so undependable that she wasn’t tagged into her own match with Gail Kim against Madison Rayne & Velvet Sky. The match was window dressing for her angle with Chris Sabin though. I’m glad Velvet ended their relationship because that angle had tons of potential and TNA pissed it away.

– I don’t like Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe only threatening Bobby Roode ahead of the main event. You know the heels have been getting help from their friends. Take the friends out so they can’t get help. Baby faces shouldn’t always be dumb.

– The James Storm makes up with Gunner promo was supposed to be touching with buddies realizing that they went over board with each other. It does happen in real life but two tough guys like this don’t make up with words. They make up by beating the hell out of a common enemy. They did that against Christopher Daniels & Kazarian, who are perfect foils for this situation. Too bad they didn’t interrupt this lovefest earlier.

– The only thing good to come out of Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards first appearance in the ring was the stipulation that no one could interfere in the match or else you are fired, which makes threatening Bobby Roode pointless by Angle & Joe. Why are you wasting your own TV time being redundant? You only have two hours. You can’t waste it like that.

– I like the story they are telling with Abyss and Eric Young trying to control him. They’ve treated this whole angle as an experiment, using the term often, and he’s been testing out hypotheses. I believe his thinking in having a Monster’s Ball match is to snap Abyss out of his rampage by making him sympathize when he beats the tar out of Young next week and turn back into Joseph Park.

Probably my favorite Christy Hemme picture ever. Saved from Fanpop.com.

Probably my favorite Christy Hemme picture ever. Saved from Fanpop.com.

– The Samuel Shaw angle was completely not sold by Mike Tenay or Jeremy Borash, which is criminal. Shaw had a basement wallpapered in Christy Hemme along with having a mannequin of her that he kissed to close the segment. I know Bully Ray, who came out next, is more important but don’t you think you talk about the angle you just saw as Bully makes his way to the ring? Shaw needs some help to sell his angle. He’s new. Bully Ray can sell his own angle. And that’s exactly what he did. Ken Anderson continues to have not developed on iota since leaving the WWE. They’ve beaten this feud to death so I’m glad a casket match will put it out of it’s misery.

– The “Investor” got out of the car before their last commercial break. I haven’t been this unexcited for a TNA announcement ever, which is quite a statement. I haven’t read the spoilers because that’s a waste of my reading time. Samoa Joe ended up choking out Magnus to become number one contender. Samoa Joe really hasn’t developed at all since he came from ROH. Mostly yelling again in this promo. Pull another tone out of the bag of tricks. Just as Kurt Angle starts to talk my DVR cuts out so I don’t know who the investor is. It’s 12:08 EST. I’ll find out who it is after a nice sleep. (Next Day Note: It really was MVP. So TNA decided to cut Hulk Hogan & AJ Styles but they brought in Edwards, Richards and MVP. TNA is probably still saving on pay roll but doesn’t it bringing in these guys undermine the concept? They’re not going to improve their product. MVP has been gone for so long, I barely remember that I loved his character a decade plus ago.) – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis of #Genesis

I may be desecrating one of the finest pieces of art the world has ever seen by using it for this column header.

I may be desecrating one of the finest pieces of art the world has ever seen by using it for this column header.

– I was pre-warned on a certain Facebook Wrestling Fan Page that I was about to watch a twenty plus minute opening talking segment for this pay per view level free TV show. I have never, ever (Think Chris Jericho) watched a PPV with an opening talking segment. Especially one that ended up lasting the twenty eight minute mark when the first match was made. To be fair, there was a brawl involved but that was one of the problems. Sting got his hands on Ethan Carter III. Why would you show that when you have kept EC3 a step ahead of Sting so far? Save their first action for the match. How hard is that?  Then just to make sure they screw this up, they cut the segment right after Sting does attack him. What the fuck people? If you’re going to show the attack, commit to it and show more of it. Don’t cut the segment five seconds in.

– The Austin Aries vs Chris Sabin argument suffered from the same problem that I noted last week, Velvet Sky hasn’t shown affection to Chris Sabin for fans to feel bad for her because of her scummy boyfriend. I liked Aries delivery but the material was terrible. Chris Sabin is still not good with a microphone. Velvet Sky isn’t a good talker either. It’s about time they use her for something useful. She’s an underutilized talent who doesn’t need to be in the ring to shine.

– I like the reaction from Samuel Shaw when Simon Dimon confronted him but it makes no sense why Dixie Carter would want to keep someone employed who this large of a problem. He assaulted a non-wrestling employee. That is unacceptable.

Bully Ray came down for his street fight match against his Ken Anderson but didn’t think to expect the Pearl Harbor attack on the ramp. When did Bully Ray turn into a dumb baby face? He’s been trying to light people on fire in recent weeks. That’s a heel move if I’ve ever seen one. This match is just reinforcing that he’s turned into a baby face. He took a Swanton Bomb on a guard rail, kick out then Mic Check, kick out then Rolling Hills through a table and Bully Ray kicks out a third time. But then Bully Ray breaks out the light fluid again. Wait, he’s a heel again? Then what happens next is even more bizarre, Anderson goes heel for a moment and puts the lighter fluid on the table. It distracts him long enough for Bully Ray to pile drive him for the win. Another baby face moment for Bully Ray. The heel is always the one who tries to go too far and gets hit with the finisher out of the blue by the baby face for the clean win. Bully Ray also didn’t really ever show the super evil side by slipping out of this match with a win. My head is ready to explode again. Another highlight of this match was Mike Tenay telling us several times that Genesis is so large it’s going to be next week too. That’s not how PPVs work!

– Oh my lord, Dixie Carter is saying “Best of” insert something here. How much material can you poach from the WWE? It’s entirely too close to best of business which was thankfully never said. Postponing a match sucks. Another non-PPV move.

– I liked the Gail Kim versus Madison Rayne match. Mike Tenay and Taz did a good job setting up the history of these two Knockouts. The ladies had a solid match. The only problem I had with it was Gail seemed to target the ribs in an earlier back stage attack but didn’t attack them during the match. She did take advantage of Rayne’s weakened staate during the match so I’ll let it slide. Kim has an excuse for the losing the title because Lai’d Tapa, who still sucks, got herself booted from ringside. Madison Rayne became the new champ with not a lot of fan fare. They have re-introduced her well so people just must not be that into her.

Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards signed their contracts this morning with a new investor. Oh joy, more power struggle. Dixie Carter just took hold of the company, why are they ready to break her grip on the roster now? If you’re going to make her the evil owner, commit to it for more than two months.

– The ending of the EC3 vs Sting match made sense in that the heel needed to cheat to win. But going back to the PPV quality show that is now stretching two weeks has a match of this poor of a quality during a main event? Really? That’s the best you’ve got? Brutal. Sting is actually doing a decent job of selling Magnus’s heel turn. Magnus is not holding up his end of the bargain. What weird gay thing did Sting have going on while calling Magnus “A little boy”? Magnus negotiating Sting’s possible firing gives him some teeth as a heel too. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

derailed

AJ Styles, Dixie Carter and Magnus opened the show with the now normal fifteen minute talking segment. This segment was a perfect example of why the WWE will not be hiring AJ Styles. We all know that the WWE likes bigger men but if they are exceptional in the ring, they’ll bring a smaller man on board. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are perfect examples of this exception. I think that Styles is good to very good in the ring. A step or two below exceptional. That aspect isn’t what showed up in this segment though. AJ Styles bombed during this segment. The WWE knew that CM Punk could talk already but they took a chance on Daniel Bryan and it has paid off. AJ Styles has been in the spotlight for years in TNA and his verbal skills haven’t followed the path that Bryan’s have during his tenure in the WWE, which has been much shorter. AJ Styles wouldn’t make it in the microphone dependent WWE.

“This is ridiculous!” were words directly out of Mike Tenay‘s mouth during the main event of AJ Styles versus Magnus on Impact Wrestling. I have never agreed with Mike Tenay more. Let’s count the ways this was ridiculous. Rockstar Spud, EC3, Jesse, Robbie E, Zema Ion, Christopher Daniels, Kazarian and Bobby Roode came out to help Magnus. Sting came out to help AJ Styles. We’ve got a nine on two which naturally means it’s an easy beat down for the heel, right? Well, that was the complete opposite of what happened. Magnus eeked out a victory. I actually felt bad for Taz during this segment because he had to sell the heel angle of this segment. The tenor of his voice was a give away that even he didn’t believe what he was saying.

The other more ridiculous aspect of this match was that they did away a time honored tradition in wrestling, having a leaving wrestler do a job to make the wrestler who is sticking around, usually a champion, look better. They did the complete opposite in this case too. The clown car in no way helped this aspect of the match. Magnus has struggled to look like he has a spine. Having him score a clean victory over AJ Styles does the trick and covers a time honored tradition. They looked a gift horse in the mouth.

The only thing that all of that interference does is make Dixie Carter look like she’s the evil owner. I will admit that I thought she finally sounded the appropriate amount of bitchy and was abusing her power in a good way. But just like the Authority and Randy Orton, they’re placing the heat on the wrong person. Magnus needs the heat, especially since he is newly turned heel after spending the last year or so in the main event mafia. Putting heat on the wrong people is, well, wrong.

The last aspect that makes the main event such a train wreck is the fact that they have spent the whole show building up feuds for next week’s Genesis “pay per view” on free television. TNA had already extended AJ Styles once to complete this story line. Why not give him enough money that he can’t refuse to show up for Genesis? Wouldn’t you think it’d be appropriate to at least have this travesty on your big show that you’ve built up for the rest of the 1:45 minutes of show you just aired? This angle is a huge fail. This segment led to Jeremy deleting Impact Wrestling from recording on his DVR and I can’t blame him. This product is on the longest skid that I can remember. I remember having hope once every six months or so but I’m pretty sure we’re past the six month threshold and having to dig out of this disaster isn’t going to make the good times come around any time soon. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

patrick-bateman-new-york– I hate “retirement” style matches since you know it’s a 99.9% chance that the possible retiree, in this case Kurt Angle, will win the match. He’s not exactly a good enough talker to open the show with either. He sounds like a loser by continually saying he’ll prove his worth but losing. Bobby Roode didn’t help pull up the quality in the segment either. Roode’s a mixed bag in that department for me. I’m also not sure why Angle is doing the Christian “One Last Match” gimmick either. TNA either needs to commit to him winning again or going full on with the fall of Kurt Angle. I suppose if he loses this match, that’d be true but I highly doubt it’ll turn out that way.

– I understand Madison Rayne beating Gail Kim but I don’t understand why it was relatively clean. They can now set up a title match between the returning Rayne & Gail Kim since she hasn’t put the belt on the line in a while. The problem I have is that it should be more of a fluky win like Lai’d Tapa costing Kim a match so the heel can deny the loss while building the title match.

– I don’t understand why Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky continue to fight. She was better as a heel with the Beautiful People. She should be allowed to go back to her roots with her heel boyfriend in a slightly tweaked character. Chris Sabin winning back the belt with Velvet’s interference could have helped seal the change in personality but she regretted it while he heeled it up. Yuck. The least TNA could do is make you feel bad for Velvet Sky but they haven’t given us any reason to do so.

Samuel Shaw wasn’t exactly a hit for me with his transfer to the ring character. I like the concept behind him, a Patrick Bateman rip off, but him staring at Christy Hemme didn’t exactly creep me out.

James Storm comes off as a petty bitch in his feud with Gunner. He should be pissed because Gunner isn’t nearly as good as him and is being pushed for no reason.

– You know, I had wondered if Ethan Carter III was indeed Derrick Bateman from NXT aka Michael Hutter from Pro Wrestling Ohio. He didn’t talk in PWO. He didn’t quite make it to the main roster in the WWE. I’m not exactly a fan of this gimmick, but he’s not helping himself out and showing why the WWE would cut him. If you can’t talk well in the WWE, you better be a maestro in the ring. EC3 may be that but you can’t prove it against two months of jobbers.

Bully Ray needs to up the gas quotient if they want me to be concerned about Joseph Park or Ken Anderson being burned alive.

– I like Brad Maddox partially because I think he dresses well. Rockstar Spud is trying a similar style but is failing because his vest always is too close in color to his shirt and pants. Someone should be helping this color blind idiot. EC3 doesn’t exactly dress well either for someone with money. At least he coordinates better with his colors.

– I didn’t read the spoilers so I had no idea Gunner came out during Magnus‘s coronation. Gunner needs to get the threat of using it out there. It was a nice delay tactic for AJ Styles eventual arrival. I do know that AJ Styles drops the belt. I’m not exactly excited to see him on ROH TV. I know this is a different scenario but it is kind of funny that they’re having a belt unification match not that long after the WWE did. Magnus getting a spine and taking the challenge is a good idea to keep his character’s distance from being to Dixiefied. It’s a better separation than Randy Orton has had with the Authority. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling Total Nonsense Analysis

monkey-see– TNA is doing the same exact thing with Magnus that the WWE did with Randy Orton. Rockstar Spud & Dixie Carter should not be getting the heat for the new champion Magnus. At least in the WWE, people disliked HHH & Stephanie but they aren’t getting that kind of heat. I love the canned boos as the camera shows people talking to each other and sitting on their hands. Jeff Hardy screeching like a woman did not help himself look like a main event player. Neither did saying the title doesn’t mean anything to him is stupid. EC3 isn’t worthy of fighting a washed up Sting. That’s a pretty sad statement.

– Oh my goodness, Dixie Carter cut herself off with a commercial. Why did someone think this segment was a good idea? Gunner getting the title shot is a head scratcher to me. You just crowned a new young champion in Magnus. Give the shot to an established star who can help raise the new champion’s stock even if he cheats to win said match. Plus, Gunner is terrible on the mic and not so good in the ring. James Storm is a hard head for not accepting Gunner’s help. Having Storm winning the case would be a perfect tonic. Dixie Carter, no one cares that you’re stringing along this “major announcement.”

– The double DQ for James Storm and Gunner is a feud extender but I don’t care because they’re both stuck in this all too familar to TNA weird grey zone. James Storm bitched like a girl about Gunner selling him out at the bar and tossing him out of the way for a title shot. Gunner is defending himself but he’s not good enough verbally to dig himself out of the accusations.

Brooke Tessmacher calls out Bully Ray so that he can get some creepy horror movie music. “It’s going to get a lot worse for everyone.” So it’s going to be worse than you “Almost taking down TNA” within the past year if I’m to believe what they told me on TV? What’s your plan, get TNA going like a cockroach after a nuclear winter? Thanks for adding to my material to mock.

– The second video for Magnus was much better. He’s putting a little heat on himself with the Main Event Mafia conspiracy. He could feud with Samoa Joe. I wouldn’t argue in the ring.

– I like the Joseph Park character more than the Abyss character. But how long can you keep running a gimmick that has a timid man who can’t wrestle? He has been good enough on the mic to fill a manager role but is that what the person playing him wants? I have my doubts. They could re-imagine the Abyss character too and make him a hybrid of his current characters or a have him flip between the personalities. I’ll give this angle a chance.

– I liked the third video package from Magnus too. He showed spine which he hadn’t done for months. The looming specter of Rockstar Spud and Dixie Carter makes this an angle that could turn into a train wreck if his personality can’t stand out from those two bafoons.

– I know I’m not breaking any new ground with this statement but Lai’d Tapa is super green. Having her in there with ODB, who isn’t exactly a technician herself, makes for a tough match to watch. Even Lai’d Tapa’s facial expressions are bad.

Magnus video number four credited Dixie Carter for seeing his brilliance. Hit the brakes Mr. Engineer!

– Holy Shit Snacks as Pam Hoovey would say. That was Dixie‘s announcement? The Bromans are joining Rockstar Spud & EC3? That isn’t a big announcement. I wasn’t paying attention to Dixie’s “announcements” already. If you’re going to make terrible announcements like that, I’ll be sure not to pay attention. Nothing about the Bromans should concern Sting or Jeff Hardy especially since it’s a tag match. 4 Chumps vs 2 Main Eventers.

– While watching the match, Mike Tenay reminds me the announcement was the coronation of Magnus as champion was the big announcement. Whoops. It’s still not going to make me pay attention to her big announcements because that’s just standard wrestling procedure 101. I’m pretty sure I just heard the wreck. The engineer didn’t brake in time. Speaking of that tactic book, EC3 rolling up Sting with a handful of tights is classic heel move 101 and is the best thing they’ve done for him so far. Too bad he still sucks. Jeff Hardy is gone until light shines on this kingdom. Very Jeff Hardy like announcement. He may not be as good as he was in the WWE, but I still think he’s kept his act fresh with the talk over videos and little tweaks to his character. Hardy toned down his in ring act enough to stick around. Whether it’s an angle or real, (I don’t remember reading anything on the topic) this isn’t a good time for Hardy to be skipping town. – Kevin

The Art of Wrestling – #TNA @ImpactWrestling’s 12 Days of Christmas

memegeneokerlund.com

memegeneokerlund.com

So I decided to move over to TNA this week to look for Christmas deals after covering the WWE last week. Before even getting to any of the deals, I was immediately confused. I don’t have a bookmark for WWEShop.com or ShopTNA.com. I go to their site proper and link to their shopping sites. As I scroll over the ShopTNA tab, the first thing I notice is the fact that both Hulk Hogan, who has been off TV since October, and AJ Styles, who may not be signed to a new contract, both have their own subsections. I understand that TNA needs to sell the merchandise that they have in stock. Since both gentlemen aren’t under contract and have had spats with Dixie Carter on air, the least they could do is remove their names from the pull down men.

When I clicked on ShopTNA.com, I then clicked on Happy Holidays deal banner. The first day I went to the site, Rockstar Spud greeted me. When I refreshed the site today, James Storm greeted me. Rockstar Spud should not greet me because he’s been on TV for all of three or four episodes and he’s a heel. Just bad marketing on their part. If he was a likeable heel like Christopher Daniels or Kazarian. Take the WWE as an example, they have recently started hawking their wares on TV. If memory serves, R Truth, the Prime Time Players, Dolph Ziggler, the Funkadactyls and The Bellas have done the segment. What do they have in common? They’re all baby faces. The fact that Dixie Carter was in the marketing field prior to running TNA, one would think she’d recognize this problem. I’m glad they’re using Storm now since he fits the mold.

There is another problem with this page. TNA went with the Happy Holidays wording. But then their slogan is ” Celebrate 12 Days of Christmas with ShopTNA.com.” I celebrate Christmas but am perfectly fine with using Happy Holidays. What I don’t think you should do is mix the two up which is precisely what they did. This deal is a stinker too. TNA is giving away one free item per day from the 9th until the 20th. They have provided enough of a sample size at this point to know they’re not going to give away anything even as “expensive” as a shirt. Day 1 was an IMPACT Twisted Necklace. Day 2 got you a Dixie Carter Shop TNA exclusive Action Figure. They got daring on day 3 by offering not just a Jeff Hardy Souvenir Cup (which is being modeled by the no longer employed So Cal Val) and Coloring Book. Today’s gift is a random pair of sunglasses. Seriously. They aren’t even telling you which piece of garbage they’re going to send you. The only catch with this “deal” is that you need to order a physical gift so no MP3s or digital goods will get you this fabulous extra(s).

I’d love to nit pick actual presents but that is the only deal they have going for Christmas. Looks like I’ll have to go back to the bargain bin at WWEShop.com next week for your entertainment. – Kevin

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