Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #HellInACell

I bought this pay per view at the last minute. I’m pretty interested in whether Ryback wins or not. I’m still leaning towards CM Punk keeping the belt.

Randy Orton (with a new hairdo so I guess he’s done filming) against Alberto Del Rio. I miss the first couple of minutes trying to do the introduction. I had to take the dogs on a short spin. This weather blows. It ranks up there for worst weather ever for a Columbus Crew game. It was top five ever. Del Rio is even terrible at mocking. This portion of the match has been solid so far. I need to pee really bad. I’m hoping for a break in the action.What the fuck did Del Rio just attempt off the top rope? Why does this guy keep getting chances? Why? Of course he locks in a cross arm breaker right after royally fucking up. Orton turns it into a school boy pin. RKO for the win. Enjoy your time in Kofi Kingston limbo, Alberto!

Paul Heyman tries to work Vickie Guerrero but it doesn’t seem to work. Daniel Bryan & Kane comes out first. Damien Sandow gets the mic when he comes out with Cody Rhodes. We are the tag team champions. They’re getting decent enough heat. Solid match so far with Daniel Bryan taking the beating after some sustained offense. My girl tells me that I missed Sandow flipping off Kane. Trying to make dinner in this process of watching HIAC. Bryan tags back in after Kane cleaned house. They start arguing. Kane disposes of Sandow. Bryan tosses Rhodes onto Kane. Bryan accidentally hits Kane in stead of Rhodes. Cross Rhodes but Kane makes the save. Kane starts going crazy. DQ cheap-o loss. I can dig this sort of. Rhodes & Sandow deserve more time in the spot light. So do Bryan & Kane. They have another month before the act is completely stale.

The Miz gets a promo before his match against Kofi Kingston. I’m uninterested in this match. It’s going on but I’m not caring. Miz kicks out of an SOS which is the first big move of the match. I do like the calf breaker Miz executed.  Nice of JR to allude to the Marcus Lattimore injury from this past Saturday. One of the ugliest injuries I’ve ever seen. The Miz takes off kofi’ protective padding. Oh No! Single leg Boston Crab which I still don’t understand. You have more control over their body if you have both legs. Small package for Kofi. Cocky pin after the DDT on Kofi only gets a two count. Kingston chucks Miz outside the ring. He catches Miz with Trouble in Paradise for the win.

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Stunt Granny Audio #194

Despite their advanced ages, DX still knows how to have a good time.

We’re back to a two-man booth this week, but what a two man booth! Kevin and Dusty join forces to delve into the top news stories in pro wres, giving you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They talk about WWE’s use of the legends and how Heath Slater’s fits into the scheme of things. They talk about AJ and how WWE uses the General Manager position has a crutch in their litany of bad booking. And just how much fun was DX’s appearance? Too much fun! Dusty just barely made the show because he had to go to the emergency room to get his sides put together after they split. And so much more, and you’re going to have to listen to find out what it is!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #194

Stunt Granny Audio Show: WrestleMania 28 Hall of fame

WWE and pro wrestling history is left in the hands of Dusty Giebink, Dan Kuester and Eric Nelson as they discuss the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame inductees. The guys give brief bios of Edge, the Four Horsemen, Mike Tyson, Ron Simmons, Mil Mascaras and Yokozuna; debate any pros and cons to each entrant’s inclusion; and bring up Lex Luger far more often than anyone should. The title speaks for itself, but you’ll get a lovely trip down memory lane, so click to listen!

WrestleMania 28 Hall of Fame Show

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #Raw

The Road to Wrestlemania starts today.

So I’m starting Raw late because I’m rewatching the Elimination Chamber. I’ve fastforwarded through most of John Cena versus Kane. There was more filler in this match than I thought. Booker is also playing up Cena being uber-happy. I don’t how positive a person you are (pointing a finger at myself) there comes a time when things just aren’t going well. An easy example for me would be my divorce. Was it a good thing? Hell yes. Did it still drag me down? Hell yes. Cena should have gotten down a bit more in parts of this angle, especially the ones involving Zack Ryder. Time for Raw. Let’s roll.

We get replay of said angle. Every single sad shot is show to prove that I’m an ass. Actually, they’re still wrong. Eve is talking to the Bellas. Eve used Zack Ryder to get popularity. Eve is going to use John Cena too. Um, how about not doing this on TV? Or when John Cena is right behind you. Why did you turn Eve? What the fuck? I mean, she’s inconsequential so why spend the beginning of your biggest show to her? I’m confused. Cena comes to the ring after the intro. Eve comes down and tries to apologize. I’m even more confused now. Cena tells her to wait for the Rock because they’re scandilous bitches. She’s the Rock’s proxy? What the hell is the point of your main babyface running down a ho? Who’s Wheaties did she pee in?

The newest vignette for Taker says that HHH‘s fate will be sealed tonight. Hooray. Sheamus takes on Mark Henry after the break. Mitchell Cool rehashing Henry being suspended. Jerry Lawler correctly pointing out that Henry being bribed for his vote. I just said something positive about Lawler. Nice Funkasaurus Extinct? sign. Why is Cool cheering on the flying shoulder block? Why? So it just dawned on me during their Twitter blow job, did they have that angle just so Ryder & Cena can be friends? Still a colossal mistake for an opening segment. Sheamus gets out of the World’s Strongest Slam and nails Henry with the Brogue Kick. Johnny Wooden GM & David Otunga are talking about themselves. Teddy Long stops by for some business. They’re not brands. Johnny may be taller, but Teddy rocks suits so much better. David Otunga gets a match against anyone on Smackdown.

The Rock returns next week. But he’s never going to leave the WWE again. That joke won’t get old for me. Sorry if you’re groaning. R Truth & Kofi Kingston are back on the tag circuit against Rosa Mendes with Epico & Primo. Kofi is on a roll when Rosa distracts him. Kofi counters out of the Back Stabber and nails Trouble in Paradise. Undercard filler.

Not quite caught up. But DAMN! what a great inductee. Ron Simmons was one of my favorites starting back with Butch Reed & Teddy Long. Oh, my buddy Ken & I dressed as the KPA at one of my bro’s parties. Keg Protection Agency. We get more replay of Elimination Chamber. Chris Jericho is with Josh Matthews. He was knocked out. He was legally eliminated. Jericho trying to get heat but people cheer. Jericho vows to win the battle royal. Of course you will.

David Otunga gets to take on Ezekiel Jackson. We get to find out how far in the dog house Jackson is. Otunga gives Zeke a Simmons like spinebuster. Cool gets to have camera time to cheer on Johnny. This replay involves last week’s Raw. Nice break from the EC. It’s about HHH & Shawn Michaels. Taker is next.

I grab a beer while Taker comes to the ring. I also started my potato and cauliflower mash. Taker wants to end the uncertainty. He was surprised by the no. I hear apocalypse and HHH not having a choice. Sure. Par for the course. If HHH is reformed, shouldn’t he have new music? HHH tells Taker to carry the torch for the next generation. He doesn’t want to kill Taker. HHH tells Taker he knows he’s at the end of his rope. Taker pulls out the coward card. Not quite a punk card. HHH gets angry then restrains himself. HHH still says no and leaves the ring. Cool camera shot with Taker and HHH being shown on the video screen. Taker plunks down the punk card by saying HHH can’t do it as good as Shawn Michaels. HHH knows he can finish it. The crowd chants “Prove It”. I so wanted HHH to turn him down. The crowd pops huge for the announcement. HHH will face him but only in the Hell In A Cell. I can’t believe that won’t be the main event. Taker doesn’t take the hood off. Save the surprise for later.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Party in Miami!

So they start with the Patriot Opening. I’m a little surprised but not by much. Nice to see  Lilian Garcia. Good singer. Bad career choice still. No one can chant “USA” like a wrestling crowd. Poor Josh Matthews has to go from that tribute to the Rock’s Birthday party. Cole gets the easy sell with the Championship match. I’m having to explain too much to my friend Sean. He’s suffering by not watching the Bruins. He’s too lazy to leave and watch them elsewhere. Rock goes from tribute to regular promo. The GM loves to interrupt the Rock. Rock gets to play games with Michael Cole just like old times. Cole going for the cheap boos. How pathetic and obviously pre-planned. The GM is going to shut down the Party if the Rock doesn’t apologize. Cole wants an apology too. Rock goes for the hand shake. Does Cole fall for this? Why are there two big Sin Cara masks in the background? Cole gets Rock Bottomed and Elbowed. Pitbull comes out. He’s a rapper, right? I guess not. Dance music, huh? Interesting choice. What a long segment. They’re going to need to take 15 minutes of commercials.

I’m definitely going to half ass this show by flipping to the Bruins/Flyers. R Truth attacked Morrison before the match. Morrison is a good guy to pick on to get heat. R Truth gets a big cheap shot in on the ramp. Back to commercial.

It’s hard to flip away from the game. I love close games in the playoffs with overtime looming. So did Kharma chose Smackdown since she attacked McCool? Nope. Why is KK still in there? So Kharma is a face? I kind of like the intrigue. Miz explains why Riley can be on both shows.Miz is going to be champ again. Good for him.

Samuel is making himself look older just by wearing that outfit.I love the fake party. Nice way to pimp his movies. Ron Simmons rules! More commercials.

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SG Poll: Which rumored WWE Hall of Famer would you have liked to see inducted?

As always, leave comments, but more importantly, don’t let this poll get in the way of some good audio; check below for the first three parts of Jeremy and Kevin’s WWE WrestleMania 27 previews, and stay tuned for the rest!

Ron Simmons, Sgt. Slaughter released, there’s nothing funny about this

Here you go, Morneau!

Here you go, Morneau!

According to PWInsider.com, Sgt. Slaughter and Ron Simmons were given the big ugly ax. Sgt. Slaughter I can see, since he hasn’t done anything on television in years except look way skinny and show up when dumb people (like Eugene and Mae Young) do dumb things (like dance during WrestleMania). But Ron Simmons? You just put the guy through rehab (twice, if memory serves), you have him do the funny “DAMN!” thing every so often (although he doesn’t need to be under contract to come back for that), so that one was a little more surprising. Oh well, these guys remind me of 1991, and 1991 was not a good year for me. Big puffy mullet and green windbreaker, anyone? -Eric

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