Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Jeff Hardy's shirt reminds me of Impressionist paintings. This one is Sunrise by Monet, who is a favorite of mine.

James Storm is distraught over not winning the TNA Title. I’m not the biggest fan of this happening. They do make things work. I thought Bobby Roode would have been dropping the title too soon, which I don’t think I’d said in my previous reviews. I still think Storm should have won but they gave him a nice out by having him practically won. Roode comes out to gloat. I’m digging the new hair cut. It fits a suit better. Roode says he has no opponents left which brings out Mr. Anderson. Roode tells him to get to the back of the pack. Jeff Hardy hobbles out. He thinks he deserves a title shot. Him & Anderson argue. Hulk Hogan wants all the champs out in the ring later. Hardy will fight Anderson.

Crimson & Bully Ray team against Matt Morgan & Austin Aries. Morgan starts against Crimson. They continue to do the heavy work but Crimson was on offense most of the time. Aries gets the tag and brings the fun to the match. Bully Ray pulls the trunks to win. Garrett Bischoff is sauntering in the back.

Hardy thinks it’s his turn to get the title. Jeff thinks it was a good call by Hogan for the match. Garrett comes out. The crowd is excited for the guys around him but go silent when he starts talking. He thanks AJ Styles, RVD & Anderson along with Aries in the back. Ric Flair interrupts the blow jobs. Flair tells Garrett the truth when he rips his mic work. This story continues. Please kill me. They bleep the Bischoff for Eric. Woof. If you’re going to rip someone else’s mic work, bring something other than your worst. Christopher Daniels was holding evidence about AJ Styles. Double Ugh.

Magnus & Samoa Joe talk to Devon about the champs meeting. Short & pointless. Kurt Angle is taking on AJ Styles. My cable cut out of the match but went to commercial. I didn’t miss much. Styles is in control after the break. Daniels gives AJ whatever is in the mystery envelope. AJ screams “How’d you get this?” Angle rolls up AJ for the win. If it was AJ this whole time, why did you wait to reveal it? Stop continuing story lines that suck. Joseph Park tries to talk to Gunner. Park wants answers. Gunner tells him to ask Bully Ray because they wrestled together last.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of #iMPACTWrestling

I’m doing this blog because I’m pissed about the Penguins booting a second consecutive game. I’m hoping they can return the favor in Philly. Sunday is huge. No excuses here. Philly played better after giving up the initial goals early in both games. You should win any game you score five goals in. Oh well, it’s sports. Once you’ve gone thru real bull shit, this doesn’t look as important. I’m still pretty pissed though. Why else would I be carping?

Fry The Delivery Guy is going to be doing us a solid. He’s going to Lockdown and he’s going to help us bring some extra content. Probably in the verbal variety but we’ve got to work out the details. Let’s roll.

This crowd is awesome. A “We Don’t Care” chant. We don’t care about this guys. Eric Bischoff introduces his team. I don’t care. Garrett Bischoff only announces Mr. Anderson who is going to take on Gunner. We got a commercial. I forgot that the best of three series gets the first in privileges. They tease Garrett’s other team members. Boy, I don’t know, maybe it’ll be the people who are feuding with Eric’s team members? Wow, what a stupid baby face. Anderson gets himself DQed. The crowd evens out chants by chanting “Anderson”. Dummies.

Eric Young is talking to himself. Joseph Park introduces himself. The camera guy gets cute and shows a shot in the mirror. For some reason Park is grilling EY about Abyss. He seemed to give up the second he asked a question to everyone else. Chris Sabin learned about the size of his heart. Alex Shelley gets to run down some facts. I like them going for the titles but it seems a little forced for this PPV. TNA’s problem is the same as WWE’s. No tag team depth. Brutus comes out and challenges them. Joe gets to act tough. Joe can’t be watching WWE these days. Mexican America comes out. That isn’t depth. I’d take the Usos any day of the week. Each of the real tag teams gets to bitch an MA member.

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Kevin’s Blog: #iMPACTWrestling – For The Hell of It

I’m tired but I’m going to start doing this review. I might not finish it before I sleep. I don’t care. It’ll get finished once the dogs take a nap later today. It’s 12:42 AM EST. Let’s roll.

We get a review of the Victory Road main event, Sting vs Bobby Roode. They showed film of Roode getting ready to attack Dixie Carter. Roode is hard to take seriously with dry hair. So I’m glad I didn’t pay for this pay per view. Roode duct taped Sting to the ropes. Oh, we’re going to still shoots now. Dixie attacked as Sting’s shield. Back to still shoots. Weird combo of review. Back to film. Don’t you have to fire a guy who is that insubordinate? I can’t attack my boss and keep my job. Dixie Carter comes out first. More disrespect is being tossed out by Bobby Roode. The crowd is right “Fire Bobby”. Sting comes out. He gives the old “not the right kind of revenge” speech. The crowd go sheep. For some reason, they go to commercial thinking this is a cliff hanger.

Sting is relinquishing his GM duties. He wants to be a wrestler. Not a GM. He’s got to rest because of his concussion. Sting’s got a man for the job. It’s Hulk Hogan. Sting tells her to trust him because he’s “real” now. I’m not dicking around with previews or ring entrances. Bully Ray is super freaking pissed. He’s going to take hostages out.

Zema Ion, Anthony Neese and Kid Kash take on Austin Aries for the X Division Title after a commercial break. Two weird breaks to start the show. They’re still protraying Aries as a heel. You wait for a baby face pop to bring you back. He will get some cheers. The match was fine until Bully Ray takes out everyone. He saves Aries for last. Good way to get his heat back. The Mexicans show back up and their car is being towed. They are questioned to win their car back. Anarquia can’t spell Guadalajara. I needed spell check. They are going to wait until after their match so that they can earn the money back. Stupid.

Rosita & Sarita are taking on ODB & Eric Young. Tazz admits that the wedding will have a hitch since all wrestling weddings do.Rosita tries to act tough to ODB. Sarita comes in to do the heavy lifting for the heels. Rosita comes back in for some reason. EY does cart wheels after the hot tag.  EY has pink trunks on. ODB goes jealous rage. She gets mad at EY but still kisses him. ODB shoves him onto Rosita for the pin. Weird.

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TNA Audio #7 – Defecate In My Mouth

Pictured above: Kurt Angle

Dusty and Matt are back once again to discuss the February 23 edition of Impact Wrestling. Overall, they are very impressed with TNA’s long-term planning of storylines and matches, but are frustrated with the over-pushing of Hulk Hogan and the Bischoff Family. More importantly, though, they go off on several side tangents this week, including:

-Dusty debuting his new superhero alter-ego, Wrong Opinion Man

-Matt’s love for early ’90s WCW

-Just how exactly was the Shockmaster supposed to get over in the first place, even if he hadn’t tripped and fallen flat on his face during his big debut?

And a whole lot more nonsense, and it’s only worth about an hour of your time, so get in the festive holiday mood and give it a download why don’t you.

Stunt granny TNA Audio Show #7

TNA Audio #6 – The Ghost Of Big Dick Dudley

Silly babyface, champagne is for heels.

This week, Dusty and Matt focus on the February 16 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. This is a very special Impact, because it just so happened to fall on Dusty’s birthday. Did TNA celebrate Dusty’s birthday properly? Well, you can find out by listening to this audio as our intrepid heroes delve into such topics as:

-Why do fat ECW alums have such great calves?

-So Cal Val must have used her stroke backstage with the powers to be because she appeared on this episode no fewer than two times!

-Who exactly was that MMA announcer jabroni and why was he being interviewed by Christy Hemme?

-Why is it that Brandon Jacobs is tougher than any wrestler in the locker room?

And a whole lot more stuff about a show that they both enjoyed, in an audio replete with Under Siege and Daria references for your entertainment, and it’s only going to cost you about an hour of your time, so if you have a heart at all, you’ll wish Dusty a happy happy birthday by downloading this bad boy immediately.

Stunt Granny TNA Audio Show #6

Stunt Granny Audio Show #156

Jeremy and Kevin finally follow through on a threat and talk about TNA. They realize that 9/11 is a touchy subject but they do wonder why Rosita was presented the way she was though. Even though her story is inspirational, doesn’t it kill her current gimmick? Would it have helped if TNA left her off the card except for the 9/11 tribute? The guys try to be delicate but as usual drop ideas that are so offensive even TNA wouldn’t use them. Speaking of offensive, find out how Kevin found the picture he found for his Raw blog which heads the guys into Raw talk. How seriously should we take every word CM Punk or HHH? Is their verbal sparing enough to sell Night of Champions on Sunday? What else happened on this show? What wrestlers are labeled “Shit or Get Off The Pot”? Could the guys interview Michael McGillicutty or David Otunga? Could they fill in for Jeremy and Kevin for a Stunt Granny podcast and make it entertaining? Hell no, that’s why you need to click on the link below.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #156

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