Stunt Granny Audio #246

Jerry Threatening Tom

Jeremy & Kevin are back for a second straight day with their witticisms. They start by talking about their childhood and playing “Smear The Queer”. Does making the name rhyme make it better? Which bully thought up this game so that he could pick on the people they wanted to? What happened to Kevin’s younger brother while playing said game? The guys move along to an injury in the WWE, that of Naomi. How soon will Aksana get back on TV? Did the WWE take down Naomi’s picture of her injured eye? Wouldn’t that picture work as a perfect example of “Don’t do this at home” for the children that watch? Would Naomi be better off going with her real name of Trinity? Will we find out why the Bellas have been off TV in the next season of Total Divas? Jeremy & Kevin move onto Brodus Clay because of his connection to Naomi. Did Jeremy notice that he wasn’t in the Royal Rumble? Has he gotten the number of chances that Alberto Del Rio has had to shine? Speaking of Del Rio, who is going to miss him if he doesn’t renew his contract? Did he get a push because he is an older man? Does age factor into backstage politics? Who else on the roster has an age that surprised Jeremy & Kevin? Will there ever be a WWE Superstar who makes an impact at a young age like Bryce Harper has done in Major League Baseball? Does Brock Lesnar count? Maybe Randy Orton? Who will benefit most from Del Rio leaving if he does leave after this contract expires? Find out the answers to these questions and more when you click on the link below.

CM Punk Gone From @WWE Or Just Another Angle?

angry-girl

Welcome to corporate America CM Punk. According to a report at TMZ.com CM Punk left WWE because of the way The Royal Rumble turned out and the plans for Batista to headline WrestleMania 30. He also disagreed with Daniel Bryan’s treatment and how he not only didn’t win the Royal Rumble but didn’t even appear.

Punk was livid when he learned officials scripted Batista to win the Royal Rumble … because he feels Batista isn’t in great wrestling shape and shouldn’t be featured in the title match at the upcoming WrestleMania.

So essentially, CM Punk wasn’t being recognized for his hard work and seeing others pass him on the corporate ladder pissed him off. This exact same scenario happens every single day in every office on the planet. I texted Kevin and said if this is all true then this is an absolute baby move by CM Punk. He doesn’t get what he wants so he takes off? He would have had a high profile, and logical, match with Triple H on the show. All signs pointed to CM Punk taking on Triple H for the last few weeks if not a month at the least. How was this a surprise? Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe the situation of not getting his WrestleMania main event finally wore on Punk. His interviews recently point that he was on the borderline of a total burn out so it makes sense.

I take back though that this is a baby move on Punk’s part. It is actually a rather impressive move to walk away from guaranteed money. How many of your friends do you hear bitch about their jobs and do nothing about it? Punk essentially told his boss to fuck off and left. He took his ball and went home if you will. Instead of stewing and continuing to waste away, mentally and more importantly physically, in a job he doesn’t enjoy then why not just go? Yeah he has a contract and yes he is letting people down but if he feels that this is important enough to take these actions then he should be envied.

For more on this story as well as Matt Hardy getting arrested as well as Sting to WWE rumor mongering make sure and check out Stunt Granny Audio #245 tonight. – Jeremy

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

On Hold Music

From Amazon.com

I’ll do the intro tomorrow. It’ll explain the picture. (Next Day Note: So I got to start this column fairly late after being on hold with American Airlines who will do you the privilege of not charging you for a ticket for a whole 24 hours if you only use their airplane services. Unfortunately, my lady was also going to use Frontier on her itinerary so they’re going to charge her immediately. The call took long to answer so the woman needed to start over again ordering her ticket which only infuriated her more. Just to put whipped cream and a cherry on top of the situation, American Airlines didn’t send her a confirmation email but did send me her itinerary. Note to myself: Get her a new laptop. Another Note to myself: Don’t use American Airlines because they’re a pain in the ass.)

They give us a brief overview of John Cena’s last 24 hours. Stephanie & HHH get to kick off the show. I wish HHH had gone down the cry baby fans angle a little further. He crows about all the good stuff that happened at the Rumble. He works as a hype man. Stephanie announces Randy Orton in an Elimination Chamber match. Daniel Bryan interrupts. Stephanie with the condescending answer. He is stepping up big time. I mean, a Cleveland crowd is lively so Stephanie is clearly wrong. Power to the people is what Bryan is preaching. He wants into the Chamber. Bryan then steps up to HHH. I rewind to watch my boy Seth Rollins fall over the barricade. Bryan gets beat down from the Shield. Sheamus comes out to help but gets overwhelmed. John Cena makes the final save. Fun opening segment.

Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio are in the ring as a tag team. They are taking on the Real Americans. Jack Swagger not looking sharp against Sin Cara. Zeb Colter slaps Swagger. He ends up taking over against Sin Cara. A break? Really? Sin Cara DDTs Swagger for an opening. Cesaro gets dumped outside. He tosses Mysterio off the ring apron.  Mitchell Cool reacts to a roll up a little too forcefully (Next Day Edit: Cool acted like it was an innovative move which a victory roll is not.). Sin Cara can’t get the tag. He takes a rough looking drop even if it was flat. Mysterio finally gets the hot tag. He cleans house. Rey gets a couple of near falls on Cesaro but Swagger makes the save on the later. 619 on Cesaro. Sin Cara misses the Swanton and goes for a spring board. Cesaro catches him with the super upper cut. Neutralizer for the win. Here goes another Real Americans push.

Bad News Barrett has bad news for the TV viewers. We are warned of the Miz vs Dolph Ziggler in the battle of Cleveland. I can always love some Cleveland hate. Ah, the losers line. So our preview is the Monday Night Wars for the WWE Network? Wasn’t that already implied? If you’re not excited about a Summer Rae addition to Total Divas, you’re A) not male B) gay.

I am imagining a man pleasuring himself by sticking the heel into his anus like Summer is giving them a strap on after winning these dance shoes on a WWE.com auction.

I am imagining a man pleasuring himself by sticking the heel into his anus like Summer is giving them some deep dicking from strap on after winning these dance shoes on a WWE.com auction.

Fandango is taking on R Truth. Xavier Woods is back on the head set. Woods claims JBL stole his number. Emmalution gets to dance a little more this week. Summer Rae plays the part of siren and Truth gets blasted with a clothes line. They love talking about Woods PhD. The match is way more about the announcing. Truth gets a two count. Round house kick by Fandango gets a two count. Truth Detector for the win.

Continue reading

@WWE #RoyalRumble Rewind

Rumble Fish from Hollywood.com

Rumble Fish from Hollywood.com

Jeremy:  Nice. So…..that was a disappointing ppv. Entirely un interesting outside of Brock and Wyatt matches.

Kevin:  I want to re-watch the Bryan vs Wyatt match. I didn’t get a good feel for it trying to settle in. Interesting time though to have Wyatt finally get a big win when he has no momentum.

 Jeremy:  I loved it. Didn’t mind the finish as well. Wyatt is and has been really good. The Trimble bites me to tears. I dozed off for some of it
 Kevin:  Of that match or just the end of the Rumble?
 Jeremy:  Entire thing. There were no interesting surprise. Batista was so winded I felt. Out of breath. Cena vs Orton was so fucking terrible it killed any momentum going in to the Rumble.
Jeremy:  I was shocked how bad it was. Cena/Orton. There was no chemistry last night.
Kevin:  Wanted to check what I wrote. It felt disjointed. First gear for a long time then jumped to third gear and fourth quickly.
Jeremy:  They kept doing each others finishers with no drama. The Wyatt interaction gives me hope.
Kevin:  With Cena? I’d settle for some consistent story for the Wyatts. My guess though is the Bella Twins get in trouble and Cena & Bryan need to make up and play nice to fight off the Wyatts.
Jeremy:  Hmm. Maybe but that is a huge step down for Cena.
Kevin:  So taking on the Wyatts by himself is a step up? The group that has already been infiltrated and haven’t won anything significant yet except for the match last night?
Jeremy:  No it isn’t really. That was the strongest Wyatt looked though. Cena on his own in a mid card match is weird enough. A mid card tag match is even lower.
Kevin:  I guess singles matches are marginally a step up. Story trumps the singles vs tag team situation to me in this instance. Bryan can still be mad at Cena for not saving him. They can drag that out. Will they be able to function as a team? All the usual shenanigans that go on with those types of stories.

Jeremy:  They can tie it in to Total Divas. I am just happy Wyatt seems to have a focus now. Giving him to Cena is huge for him.
Kevin:  What direction is that? Try to recruit someone, get rejected and lose to them with last night being the first victory?
Jeremy:  Yup. Baby steps. He got over on the guy who betrayed him. He had to look strong if he is facing Cena. Beating Bryan was a good step, especially clean. The guy that beat Cena and Orton clean must get beaten clean.
Kevin:  I just feel like it’s a “You got lucky” win even though it wasn’t presented that way. Wyatt hasn’t done squat in the ring but I’m supposed to believe he had a somewhat easy time beating the hottest guy in the company?
Jeremy:  I wouldn’t say it was easy. That was a damn hard hitting match. Very physical with both men looking strong. So Wyatt winning an even match was a good idea. You are correct with Wyatt not doing squat in ring. You apparently forgot the inferno match.
Kevin:  Okay smart ass. He beat Kane with help from Harper & Rowan. All of the Wyatt bashing I did too, doesn’t mean I think he’s done a poor job. Enjoyed the promos and the limited in ring work, I just think more of it is needed before they go for the jugular against the big boys.
Jeremy:  That was more me agreeing. Since that may be it. Him getting hurt didn’t help. They hot shot people at weird times. This may just be an Elimination Chamber match. What you think of Rusev? He gets the big thumbs up here. After only hearing his name and his praises it was nice seeing him deliver. He didn’t look lost out there.
Kevin:  He looked pretty damn good. Hard to judge too much with it not being a conventional match. His build reminded me of Taz if he were 6″ taller.
Jeremy:  Yeah he had the old school monster heel going. Hmm, not a bad comparison. I was disappointed to see him get tossed.

Kevin:  He was one of the few surprises. Nash was the other one. Neither lasted all that long.
Jeremy:  Nash was a big surprise. I expected more of a crowd reaction. If he had gone right after Punk then it would have worked for me in a larger storyline purpose.
Kevin:  Yeah, I felt like they passed on moving along story lines in this Rumble except for pumping up Reigns with his 12 eliminations.
Jeremy:  Right. I never once thought Reigns would win but he looked good. Is it too much to ask that he takes on Big E?

Kevin:  During the Rumble itself or are you thinking singles match at WM?
Jeremy:  Singles for WM. Big E is under rated doing his work. He is huge and doesn’t get blown up in ring unlike a certain asthmatic returning Royal Rumble winner. Can we copyright Royal Fumble? Auto-correct apparently saw the PPV.
Kevin:  Ha. Almost surprised I haven’t seen that before. I’m not sure it’s a fumble so much as not the way I’d do things. An Evolution show down isn’t near the main event Rock vs Cena is.
Jeremy:  Not at all. As a fan of Batista though I don’t mind. An if his reported actions after the show are any indication he is heeling it nicely. Picking up where he left off. Arrogant heel Batista is money. Maybe he can get Orton to show some life.
There is money in a Batista/ Bryan feud as well. Total contrast but they could pull it off.
Jeremy:  So are you in panic/ anger mode like so many?
Kevin:  So, where do I go now to find out people are panicking? Not that all of the people on FB are in agreement with every decision the WWE makes, but no one seemed to blow up there about Bryan not winning. So if I don’t see an over reaction there, I don’t know one is going on. To answer your question directly, it’s Wrestlemania season. The WWE writers have their thinking hats on, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt until April 6th.

Jeremy:  I am in same boat with you. Thought the Rumble was boring and it has made me apprehensive for WM. The Brock Lesnar match made it pretty clear he is taking on Undertaker which should be good. The freakout from Foley and a lot of fans is what I was referring to.
Kevin:  I was wondering what you meant about the Lesnar match. I did read Big Show may be injured so that makes sense why the match went the way it did. I would like to see the WWE pull the trigger on someone like Bryan but I’m not pissed about it either. I doubt the WWE will keep Bryan down if he continues getting this reaction over even more time.
Jeremy:  Needs to have a consistent push in order for the variables to kick in. I did not see Big Show was injured so yeah makes sense. Bryan also needs the opportunity to talk. He hasn’t had nearly enough. When he has he has been good.

Kevin:  Plus, he has the Total Divas arm candy. If that show continues to be successful, Bryan won’t have any problems.
Jeremy:  Is it sum be to think there is a master plan? Foley and Bryan going to twitter seems to be a WWE thing. They are all about social media.
Kevin:  There’s that aspect too. Are they actually working us? I don’t know. At some point though, continuing to tease without a pay off will get you eaten by the wolf.
Jeremy:  Yes exactly.

Stunt Granny Audio #244

Winning.

Winning.

If you don’t think it’s time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio, then you are a complete imbecile because it is absolutely time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio! This time around, your co-pilots are Kevin and Dusty, and oh my my, is there a lot to talk about! The two discuss the impending induction of Ultimate Warrior into the WWE Hall of Fame. Will his speech be as bat shit crazy as his old promos were? Who the hell is going to induct him? Is Vince McMahon crossing old vendettas off his list before he kicks the bucket? The two also get off on a side tangent here about Vince dictating in his will that his corpse still be involved in angles.

They also discuss how Monday Night Raw is usually really good during WrestleMania season, but express their frustrations on the whole Daniel Bryan/Bray Wyatt storyline. They also talk about ridiculous contracts being given out in professional sports (congratulations, Clayton Kershaw), make fun of the new Chicago Cubs mascot, and a whole lot more wackiness than you can shake a stick at, and it’s only going to take about an hour of your life, so listen to it or else they’ll send Crowley after you!

Stunt Granny White Paper – How to Throw a Successful Pro Wrestling Pay-Per-View Party

Click above for moves like this!

Click the pic for moves like this!

Preparing for your next Royal Rumble, WrestleMania, or even Against All Odds party? Not sure of the foods, drinks and deodorizers you should stock up on? Make your pro wrestling pay-per-view party 1,000 times more fun and 10,000 calories more enjoyable with this white paper, brought to you by the ultimate party people at Stunt Granny!

Stunt Granny Audio #228

The type of young athlete TNA needs to be pushing.

The type of young athlete TNA needs to be pushing.

There’s a whole heap of things to talk about this week, and Kevin and Dusty are the only people adequately prepared to do so! And boy do they ever, starting off with some Monday Night Raw discussion. Dusty is sick of having McMahon family reunions on his television screen. Kevin is confused by the whole thing and wonders if they really think they’re knocking it out of the park with these segments. Dusty is also sick of Michael Cole on commentary, and Jerry Lawler as well, but has no idea how to fix that problem. Is there anyone from another wrestling company worth bringing in? Should WWE look outside the wrestling business?

Then they turn their attention to the mess that is TNA. How long can a company be going out of business before actually going out of business? Do they realize how bad they look by getting rid of so many people and then teasing a surprise appearance for the next show? Did a throwaway reality show really beat their show in the ratings? Did Dixie Carter really call Taeler Hendrix fat? Does she prefer that Angelina Love 35 pounds look? Does she realize Mickie James isn’t exactly a size zero right now herself? Also, the Main Event Mafia is a stale idea that means nothing to anyone, it’s really hard to feel bad for Samoa Joe, James Storm should be in WWE, and a whole lot more! We don’t think you’re too heavy to listen to it, so go for it!

Dusty’s Blog: Dusty answers five random questions

mailbag-

You know, every week we get so many cards and letters here at the Stunt Granny Headquarters, it’s just ridiculous. Normally we just completely ignore them, because we are so much better than all you readers out there. Sometimes Kevin will use them as rolling papers for those funny cigarettes he likes so much.

But now I have decided in the interest of creating content, to change all that. Every week I will be answering five random questions from you, our lovely loyal readers. There was such an overwhelmingly positive response to the first one of these (http://stuntgranny.com/2013/07/21/dustys-blog-dusty-answers-five-random-questions/) that I couldn’t possibly stop now. So here we go:

1.) I just watched Survivor Series ’89. I love the show, it’s one of my favorites of all time. But man, that Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team match is just chock full of Hogan’s ego, huh? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Oh man, preach on. Hogan was single handedly responsible, in one way or another, for the elimination of every member of the Million Dollar Team. Zeus gets carried away on beating up Hogan, the worst referee who ever lived gets physically involved, Zeus defends himself, and the ref shoots him out of there faster than Carl Lewis. Then, the Powers of Pain basically get disqualified for using offensive wrestling maneuvers against Hogan. And then Hogan pinned DiBiase to become the sole survivor. What a mess.

If Hogan could have actually allowed himself to do a job on a pay-per-view when the belt wasn’t even on the line, this could have probably been a whole lot better match. Really, I blame the bad booking here on his ego, and not on Pat Patterson and whoever else was back there at that time. Let’s say Zeus still gets disqualified as he did. Then, since Hogan is so incapacitated, you could just have DiBiase pin him right there. Blam. Zeus sacrifices himself for the greater good of the team.

Then maybe the Powers of Pain and Demolition get double DQ’d for brawling with each other in the ring (shades of the LOD-Demolition confrontation from the next year’s Survivor Series), which would leave us with a DiBiase vs. Jake the Snake showdown, in which you can either have Roberts pin DiBiase, or else Roberts win when DiBiase gets counted out, if you want to save the clean finish for WrestleMania or whatever.

There’s a million different ways you could book it, and they’d all probably be better than what we ended up with. Still, though, that Series is one of my go-to shows when I’m looking for something to watch. So, whatevs.

2.) Watching all these old school wrestling events reminds me of what a burger Elizabeth was. She has to be in the top five of wrestling women all time, right? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Absolutely. And what a difficult task it would be to craft a top five all time list. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and of course everyone’s list is going to vary based on personal taste, but my list might look something like this:

1. Miss Elizabeth

2. Terri Runnels

3. Christy Hemme

4. Brooke Adams

5. Nitro Girl Fyre

3.) Eric always talks about how good Todd Pettengill is and how much better he was than Sean Mooney. He’s totally wrong, right? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Of course he is. Sean Mooney was fantastic. More than that, not only was Pettengill completely terrible, he was dead wrong for the product at the time and stuck out like a sore thumb. He was a lame guy with a lame sense of humor who actively held the product back when they were trying to get more serious. He was just plain bad at his job in every way. The best example I can give is from Royal Rumble 1995, where he had the following locker room exchange with Bret Hart (not word for word, so don’t correct me).

Pettengill: You are going to be going up against Diesel for the World Heavyweight Title. I mean, let’s talk about it.

Bret: ….. What is there to talk about?

I mean, right? What kind of question is that? It’s not even a question. It’s lowest common denominator “How do you feel?” Because at least that’s a question, albeit a completely horrible one. Really, the guy had no business doing what he was doing, and he did it for several painful agonizing years.

Meanwhile, Sean Mooney once said “The Fabulous Rougeaus don’t always play savoir fairly, but the Rockers are ready to escargot at it!” Case closed.

4.) Is there any wrestler worth following on Twitter right now? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

You know, I hate following wrestlers and other celebrity types on Twitter. They normally have nothing of any worth to say. Like Leonardo DiCaprio reminding us all to save the whales. He don’t know from save the whales, he’s too busy diving into his Uncle Scrooge Money Bin. But if there was one wrestler I would recommend, it would be Big E Langston. Why? This:

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5.) Who let the dogs out? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Not sure.

Dusty’s Blog: Dusty answers five random questions

mailbag-

You know, every week we get so many cards and letters here at the Stunt Granny Headquarters, it’s just ridiculous. Normally we just completely ignore them, because we are so much better than all you readers out there. Sometimes Jeremy will take a letter into the bathroom with him if we are running low on toilet paper.

But now I have decided in the interest of creating content, to change all that. Every week I will be answering five random questions from you, our lovely loyal readers. Without any further ado, throw your mittens around your kittens and away we go:

1.) What are your thoughts on the Repo Man? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Yeah, that’s an interesting question, Dusty, I was just thinking about the Repo Man. Like, have you ever wondered who drives the Repo Man to the place where he is repoing the car? Because he always just hot wires the car and drives away with it, right? So, like, is a friend dropping him at the house so he can repo the car? Is he taking public transportation, like a bus or a taxi cab to get to the place to repo the car? Perhaps there is a never ending stream of repo’d cars that serve the purpose of leading him to the next house to repo the next car. Maybe he lives close by and just walked.

The point of the matter is that Repo was completely awesome and I always felt like if a bunch of the guys had teamed up to eliminate Yokozuna at the 1993 Royal Rumble, that match was Repo’s for the taking. See what I did there with that sentence? Why am I asking you the questions?

2.) What are your thoughts on the whole Jimmy Hart/Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters/Money Inc thing? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Yeah, that’s an excellent question. I was just thinking about this recently. See, it all goes back to Mr Fuji in 1990. In early ’90 Fuji managed the Powers of Pain. And then in like February, he debuted the Orient Express. Everyone put up a stink about what an obvious conflict of interest this was, and so Fuji ended up selling the Warlord to Slick and the Barbarian to Bobby Heenan, so he could concentrate all of his energies on managing his new, completely inferior team. It was tremendous booking.

So now Jimmy Hart in 1991. His Nasty Boys win the tag belts from the Hart Foundation at WrestleMania so that they can drop the belts to the Legion of Doom at SummerSlam and break up the Foundation so that Bret can finally get a big singles push. The problems start right before SummerSlam when Jimmy unveils his new tag team, the Natural Disasters. At SummerSlam, LOD should have beaten the Nastys, and the Disasters should have beaten the Bushwhackers. And then you *have* to turn the Nastys face. You cant really split them up since they’d be crap on their own, and you can’t keep them with Jimmy since he now has a new team. So that Survivor Series match (Rockers & Bushwhackers vs Beverly Brothers & Nastys) would have to be changed around, but I’m not trying to be a completist here. I’m talking about one specific line of booking.

So then you have LOD beat the Disasters at Royal Rumble 1992, shortly thereafter Jimmy unveils another new team, Money Inc. At this point, the Disasters have to turn face, since they would be clearly butt hurt about Jimmy favoring his new team over them. Maybe you wait until after WrestleMania 8, though, where you could have LOD over the Disasters and Money Inc over the Nasty Boys, if you so wanted.

There could be many different ways to achieve that same goal, but the point is they didn’t do any of them. They keep the Nastys with Jimmy all the way through SummerSlam 1992, which was logically ridiculous and clearly defied the hallmark they themselves had put into place a couple years prior. It just honks me off like a goose!

3.) Some idiot recently said that Ultimate Warrior was the worst main eventer in history. Your thoughts, please? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Very good question. Yes, he is an idiot, first of all. Second of all, it’s not really close to true. This subject was recently batted around on Facebook and a lot of people got lost in the tall grass, arguing that Warrior was a horrible worker. It might or might not be true, but it’s completely besides the main point.

See, Diesel was the worst drawing WWF Champion in history. So since he came *after* Warrior, that automatically makes him worse, no? He was no great shakes in the ring, either. Bret got a good match out of him, but Bret could get a good match out of the couch. Diesel was atrocious, didn’t draw a dime, and he was just really terrible.

Another matter is that Warrior was completely sabotaged by Hulk Hogan every step of the way. Follow me here on a history lesson. They debuted Earthquake by making him friends with Dino Bravo and having the two attack the Warrior. Before his Mania win over Hogan for the WWF Title, Warrior was beating Bravo at house shows. Therefore, all of that would lead perfectly, one would assume, towards Warrior feuding with Earthquake post WrestleMania. It should stand to reason that the number one face should be feuding with the number one heel in the company. (Please note that I’m not slagging Rick Rude at all by saying this. It’s just that he was a step or two below Quake on the totem pole at his point.)

Instead, Hogan got the A-match at SummerSlam and all of the hype leading up to it, with the injury angle, the get well letters campaign and the guys in the corner stuff. Warrior got the second most hyped match. And then, even more ridiculously, Warrior had no feud whatsoever going into the Survivor Series. He was pasted into a survivors match that he nothing to do with (Perfect vs. Tornado, Demolition vs. LOD). And then by Royal Rumble ’91, he was already losing the belt.  Hogan, meanwhile, carried the Earthquake feud through the end of the year, won the Rumble, and then beat Slaughter for the belt at Mania. There was never really a point during Warrior’s title reign that you couldn’t plausibly argue that Hogan was still the top star in the company.

So what I’m saying is, other than the workrate, you could conceivably blame every one of Warrior’s failings as top dog in the company on Hogan. After that he started flaking out and no showing stuff and trying to hold up Vince for more money and all of that, and I would argue that you could trace all of that back to Hogan sabotaging him in 1990.  But I mean, it’s not like Hogan has a history of doing that, or anything.

Also of note is that guys like Jack Swagger and the Miz are much worse main eventers as well. It is actually embarrassing that guys like that were allowed to hold the title. It’s a byproduct of today’s environment, where the name WWE sells the tickets and it doesn’t really matter who the champion is, and everyone gets a turn with every belt anyway, and there’s 5 million belts anyway, and nothing means anything, but man, do those guys suck. Especially Swagger.

Also of note is that workrate doesn’t mean shit in professional wrestling.

4.) Who are your top five SportsCenter anchors of all time? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Such a great question. I would have to go like this…

1 – Keith Olbermann

2 – Dan Patrick

3 – Kenny Mayne

4 – Scott Van Pelt

5 – Charley Steiner

Speaking of SportsCenter and ESPN, isn’t it weird that Chris Berman is, as Bob Ley once called Steiner, a “professional putz” when he went to Brown University and graduated with a degree in history? You would think he would be more serious, like Ley, instead of being Mr Sound Effects and guy-who-gives-everyone-a-crummy-nickname guy. Then again, him graduating college in the late 70s does explain his shitty taste in music.

5.) Who could it be now? – Dusty G., Fond du Lac, Wisc.

Not sure.

The Rock kinda sorta rules

the-rock-dwayne-johnson-2013-588x400

You ever think that you just have too much going on in life and that a long vacation is what is truly in order? Well, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would probably disagree.  In fact, The Rock probably tries to come up with ways of changing the laws of science to increase the amount of seconds in a minute, minutes in an hour and hours in a day just to get more things done. Isn’t it time for The Rock to take the place f Chuck Norris as the official American badass?

Screw Chuck Norris and his lazy Total Gym physique and Just For Men beard. He has nothing on The Rock’s work ethic.  How many movies does Chuck Norris have releasing this year? Go ahead look it up? Done? Yeah he doesn’t have as many as Rock has in the next four months. Television shows? Yup, Rock beats him there as well.  In fact, Rock laps Chuck Norris on talk show appearances alone let alone having an actual scripted television program.

Sport entertainment championships? Chuck Norris never even sniffed one let alone held one after ten years of inaction. Hell Chuck Norris can’t even take a karate movie again without attaching himself to Sly Stallone’s jock. It is ridiculous. So, in order to help you all out here is a brief Rock viewing guide for the next few months just to help you keep it all straight.

SNITCH : February 22, 2013

Snitch is supposedly based on a true story so obviously it will be based off of true events. This is a Hollywood way of taking a boring story and making it way more interesting, cough, Argo.  Who knew Susan Sarandon still made movies? From the preview I can’t tell if that is Rock’s wife or friend but if it is his wife it confirms his fetish for older women both on screen and off.

G.I.JOE RETALIATION  :  March 28, 2013

All right look, the first G.I. Joe movie was offensive on every level. If they would have replaced all of the most beloved characters with retarded children and slingshots it would have made more sense and been far more compelling. This time around though it looks like they captured G.I. Joe as it was written for the comics. Ninja sword fights while repelling off a mountain? Yes please. The Rock hiding in a well while The Pit is attacked by a Cobra lead government? Sure it looks like they wiped out the entire G.I. Joe Force from the preview but then who cares? They didn’t introduce too many characters you should care about anyway. R.I.P. black Ripcord. Hopefully you find a peaceful afterlife with black Bongo the Bear.

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