Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Dan Hamhuis was an incredibly smooth skater.

So this blog is starting about as late as I can tolerate. I had tickets to the Vancouver Canucks at Columbus Blue Jackets game tonight. My friend Sean & I got an upgrade by way of (virtually) his in-laws, who supplied part of the metal package for Nationwide Arena when it was built so they have tickets for life. In the third row on the Jackets attack side for two periods. I always dwelled on the bad side of sitting low, you can’t see the other side of the rink. That complaint is still valid but it was cool to see the grunt work and foot work of some of the skaters. The hard work in the corners goes a bit under appreciated higher up even if you see plays develop better. I was certainly bummed that Ryan Kesler (former Buckeye) not being available for the game. The Henrik & Daniel Sedin for the Canucks and Rick Nash & Jeff Carter were a pleasure to watch for doing all the small things right. Wow. I’m never sure how people don’t appreciate the level of skill in hockey more than is widely acknowledged. Is my love for hockey that obvious, huh? Well, time to get to the wrestling love. No over run was taped. Let’s roll.

I get to FF under HHH grabs a mic. Thanks for making this review go quicker WWE. Trips gets in his pops for his ego. HHH stealing Ric Flair’s broomstick wrestling plan. By the way, don’t accuse Jackets fans of stealing chants from the Columbus Crew on Twitter. Evidently that pisses them off. Needless to say, that made sure I wore my early 90’s Canucks jersey to the game tonight. Cena arrives so he can get his share of the spot light. Everyone wants Cena to join the protest. My feed breaks up as Cena rattles off GMs. Cena stays. Yeah from the fans. This feed really sucks tonight. Stupid Wide Open West kind of sucks for HD. I hate saying bad words about them since they have had such a good product for the past 8 years. The Great White solves the feed problem. Sheamus blows HHH. Irish Yarn is staying too. CM Punk explains himself. And gets his cheap pops too. The biggest names in the company stick with HHH. Punk and his blazers crack me up. Punk doesn’t segue well.

After the commercial break, we get Vince. Cena & Sheamus are sent off so 2 guys not on the road to kill more TV time. My feed was awful tonight. I would be outraged if I weren’t half asleep already. Vince gets to can HHH. WE get an interim GM, John Wooden Delivery. The board turned off Raw when most of theirs fans did evidently.

The Superstars are idiots for being happy about this. Glad Morrison stood up to him. Too bad he’s going to get buried. Christian gets to deliver the Killswitch. JR segues into Christian by talking about Canadian Thanksgiving and schooling Cole. Glad we got that out of the way. Wow, even further buried than I expected. Why can’t JR or King point out the hypocrisy of this faction? You skipped this point on Smackdown with Matthews & Booker.

Johnny Wooden Crotch gets to suck on camera more. A video package lets me do more FF. Easy show to review so far.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Impact Wrestling

Since I couldn't organzie our crew, I'm imposing self torture.

I started asking too late in the week who was busy what night. So my self torture involves reviewing Impact Wrestling. It’s this or watch the NBA Finals. I’ll check in on it but who cares. I’m an NHL guy. Ryan Kesler made a hell of a play to set up the game winner for the Canucks last night. I got to watch him at Ohio State and now he’s the best US born player in the NHL. Complete silliness that I need to wait until Saturday to watch another game.  In other positive news, Sidney Crosby was cleared for his summer work out. My Penguins will be back next season. On to the inevitable.

Bischoff starts off by telling a guy in a suit he doesn’t do autographs. I’m ready to poke my eyes out already. We blend right into a brawl between ODB, Velvet Sky & Lee South. Could they involve more useless behind the scenes people? ODB fails to break the table when she slams her on a table. I was fast forwarding but it was amusing to see Velvet Sky cover up while she wore a bikini. Dumb broad. Tessmacher is thrown into the skit for no reason. In the middle of previews, we get Mr. Anderson doing the Sting imitation. This company can not get enough of imitations. He’s taking on someone from Sting’s past. I can’t wait for the swerve. Kendrick asks for another match against Abyss. Bischoff tells him to fight Kazarian. For some reason Kendrick is involved. You don’t get a shot at the title whether you win or lose dummy.

More Bischoff from “during the break”  and in the ring. Roode doing the smart thing and not handing over the Tag Titles. Alex Shelley comes out to a luke warm welcome after a long abscence. Sabin torn his ACL & MCL so he’s out for a year. Shelley is teaming with Storm at the PPV. Yeah?

Crimson (not the PWO variety) takes on “Cold Blooded” Matt Hardy. I’m glad Hardy got rid of the braids but his look is exactly the same as in WWE. The pants are the same design he used for ages with different material. Why is Hardy calling for the Twist of Hate? That’s a face move. Sky High does it for Crimson. Hardy wrestled the same match he did in the WWE too. If they were holding you back, why aren’t you showing them what they missed out on? Joe gets speared when he tries to charge the ring.

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: