@WWE Children’s Book Ideas

50th-birthday-cakeIt was announced that the WWE has signed a deal with DK Publishing to produce eighteen books over the next three years. According to MarketWatch.com

two upcoming commemorative books WWE 50: Celebrating 50 Years of Sports Entertainment, which chronicles the company’s 50 year history and 30 Years of WrestleMania, the ultimate guide to WWE’s annual pop-culture extravaganza. DK will also publish new line of children’s books focusing on the careers of John Cena, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and other top WWE Superstars.

Both of the commemorative books sound pretty damn cool. I’m sure you will have seen some of that information before but they always seem to turn up a little something more every time. The eye catching part to me though is the line of children’s books. They mention that John Cena and “The Rock” will get books but we don’t know their titles. May I suggest:

Dwayne The Rock: Too Cool For School – How One Superstar actually got out of the Biz. Inspiration here.

John The Bachelor: John’s Big Bachelor Pad (My First Bella Twin Experience). Inspiration here.

That also means that there will be fourteen other books. Let’s see if I can guess the other fourteen titles:

Daniel Hears a YES! by Dr. Bryan. Inspiration here.

Diary of a KSU Grad: Kick To The Head – The Story of Dolph Ziggler. Inspiration here.

Roderick Rules: The Story of a Company the WWE Won’t Acknowledge. Inspiration Here.

Jake & Scott: No News Is Good News Because That Means We Haven’t Relapsed. Inspiration here.

Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky I Am For Getting This Many Chances? By Alberto Del Rio. Inspiration here.

AJ Lee Wardrobe Malfunction

She is an odd one. But also hot. From wrestlingnewssource.com.

There Was An Odd Diva Who Got a Tattoo by AJ Lee. Inspiration here.

Rob Van Dam and the Grower’s Stoned. Inspiration here.

Randy Orton and the Chamber Pot of Gym Bags. Inspiration here.

Brie & Nikki’s How To Dress Like a Slutty Princess. Inspiration here.

The Superstars Employment Agency: The Future Endeavored Edition. Inspiration here.

Evan’s Not So Secret Garden. Inspiration here.

The World of Vince McMahon: The Complete When We Were Very Young and Now We Are Sixty-Eight and Trying to Bury Every Hatchet. Inspiration here.

Who do you think some of the other Superstars and titles will be? Put them in the comments below and I’ll make a full post of those ideas.

@RealDDP and @JakeSnakeDDT invite Scott Hall to Page’s successful sober house

I know our usual modus operandi here at Stunt Granny is to poke fun at pro wrestlers’ misgivings. It’s cathartic when you find out that your heroes are fallible. Kinda like the first time you beat your dad in basketball or learn to cook meth more efficiently than he does. I can’t in good conscience poke any fun at this. In fact, Jake Roberts and, hopefully, Scott Hall are the feel-good stories of the year thanks to Diamond Dallas Page. Spend 10 minutes watching this video. I come from a shitty small town in North Central Iowa where daily exercise includes four 3-minute rounds with your wife. I’ve heard people talk the way Scott Hall talks here. I’ve felt bad for people I know. I almost feel worse for this guy I don’t know. But I’m pleased that he’s agreeing to get help from Page, who has shown that he could help the once-unhelpable Roberts. I’m sure we’ll get regular check-ins on YouTube; let’s hope for the best. -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #195

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

Scott Hall arrested for allegedly beating his girlfriend, officially added to dictionary as “white trash” illustration

According to Prowrestling.net, former TNA star (I’ve made this joke before, because he’s trashy like TNA, M I RITE) Scott Hall was arrested Friday in Florida for allegedly choking out his girlfriend, Lisa Howell. The full story at TMZ.com says police were dispatched to Hall’s residence on a domestic disturbance call. When they arrived, Howell claimed Hall had been drinking for days (which we at Stunt Granny doubt), and when Howell tried to drive away, Hall reached into the car, choked Howell and pulled her out of the car. (Anonymous witnesses do not claim he did that overhead toss move from his Razor Ramon days.) Hall is denying there was physical abuse, which means the only explanation for the red hand marks around Howell’s neck is that she confused a serial killer for a scarf, or something. And as for the “drinking for days” part, Hall was reportedly so drunk that he was secreted a strange white liquid from the corners of his mouth and was denied booking into the jail and instead sent to a medical facility to detox.

I mean, does the fun ever stop? It’s not enough that WWE has spent plenty of money sending Hall to rehab, and that ESPN aired his entire dirty wardrobe on “E:60.” I guess I’m going to have to make my personal plea to Scott himself: Scott, listen to me. One of the greatest things posted to YouTube in the past two years has been “Last Call With Scott Hall,” where you and an aging Larry Zbyszko watch old wrestling matches and provide insightful and funny alternate commentary. Please, please keep in mind that you cannot have Flip cameras in jail, and they’re too big to confiscate them where the sun doesn’t shine. Yes, drinking is fun, you make lots of new friends that way and no one ever gets hurt, but for the sake of your Internet series, cut the booze! -Eric

Jeremy’s Blog: Initial thoughts on Scott Hall: The Wrestler from E:60

In case you missed it last night, ESPN is offering up the Scott Hall’s “The Wrestler” segment from E:60 online. The segment was incredibly short and really shows how bad off Scott Hall is now. What it doesn’t do is explore anything in great detail. Sure, it gives probable cause for his addictions and shows what he goes through now, but there is no deep investigation. Some of this is the pratfall of committing only 15 minutes or so to the actual story.

The piece features a bunch of other wrestlers, friends, family or wrestling execs commenting on Scott Hall, but the way the short documentary was packaged it came across like they are distancing themselves from his ailments rather than explaining.  These are just my initial thoughts on the program. I reserve the right to reverse course after more viewings, so go screw.

Kevin Nash comes off as a jokester instead of a concerned friend. His line about driving a stake through Hall’s chest as the only means of killing him may be funny but it is sad all the same. It was never explored past that. It was a one-off comment that added little. Sure, it is meant to explain the copious amount abuse Hall has done to his body, but it came off as aloof instead of poignant.

One aspect that should have been explored to same detail was the fact that X-Pac/Sean Waltman was in a similar position and came out of it and thus his pain at seeing Scott continually failing would have been stronger. Waltman taking issue with promoter Steve Ricard is spot on, but then listening to Hall try and explain his situation afterwards lessened the blow. He says that a combo of medications messed his head up so bad that, “Brother, I didn’t even know what country I was in. I don’t even remember being there.” It is hard to feel sympathy for someone who appears to be reveling in it as he smiles and nearly laughs while explaining it all.

Continue reading

Stunt Granny Audio #161

Eric makes a triumphant return as he teams up with Jeremy in this edition of Stunt Granny Audio. The boys discuss the latest happenings behind the scenes of TNA or is it Impact Wrestling. How does the influx of new talent to the talent relations and booking staff matter?  How the hell do you possibly add more talent to the active roster? Did you know TNA has at least fifty active competitors already? Who could they possibly bring in that would matter in the least bit? Just why anyone thinks things will change as long as Hulk Hogan is in charge and he is in charge.  They also manage to talk some WWE with Mason Ryan and his creepy hair. Also, how has CM Punk gotten over the elbow drop? Yeah it’s a short segment but whatever. Check it out!

Stunt Granny Show #161

Headlines: Illiterate Bob Holly hires ghost writer, WWE floats legends reality TV show plan

"Mouth Breather" Bob Holly

According to Prowrestling.net, Bob Holly, aka Hardcore Holly, aka Big Bald Hick #1 (that team would have drawn money in Smoky Mountain Wrestling) will be the subject of a biography, released by ECW Press in about a year and a half. Yeah, because it’ll take a year and a half for Bob Holly to recount all of the riveting tales of his childhood, from catching carp with a screwdriver tied to a pole, to weightlifting with buckets of sand to make his 8-man high school football team, to the struggle for literacy to be able to read his own biography.

Not only that, but Holly promises stories you never thought you’d hear. This is Bob’s book report:

I will talk about things no one has dared to talk about. It will be written in a very unique style thanks to Ross Williams who I’ve chosen to write my story. I believe this book will be an interesting and entertaining read. You will definitely want to read this book not only for what I am going to share but the exceptional brilliant style of writing Ross uses when putting words on paper.

Yes, Bob, that’s what happens when people write, words go on paper, good job! I can’t wait to hear his stories about Vince McMahon: “Mr. McMahon has an office in a tall building in Conneti.. Conneti… … … up north. Mr. McMahon offered me a job. He has nice suits. Mr. McMahon isn’t mean like people say he is. He didn’t even fire me after I played with BB’s big boobs or beat up two rookies. I’d like to work for Mr. McMahon again.” F-plus.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, WWE is asking for votes on five potential titles for an upcoming reality series where WWE legends live together in a house. The titles are awful and deserve no space here in this sacred ground known as Stunt Granny, but think of the possibilities of the plots. Make them all keep a job like in “The Real World” or “Jersey Shore” and watch them work indies for 35 paying fans. What’s this? Sgt. Slaughter and Mae Young are in the hot tub?? Get a camera out there! Iron Sheik and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine are planning a road trip? Check their luggage! As long as Scott Hall comes to visit Kevin Nash, that means Hall will be under surveillance for a while. -Eric

Headlines: Great quote from Cornette on Hardys, great article on Flair as a huge sadsack

ric flair

Ric Flair at an autograph signing, taunted by cans of Coke he can't afford.

According to Prowrestling.net, Ring of Honor executive producer Jim Cornette was interviewed by Monday Night Mayhem and was asked if Matt and Jeff Hardy would be welcome there. The answer I got was no, with a little more flourish:

I haven’t talked to these guys, and I don’t know what their side of the story is, but there always seems to be controversy swirling around The Hardys right now. I believe Ring of Honor would once again take the standpoint that we are going to try and find the young undeveloped talent and expose them to the world, rather than to look to be the place where people come to have a warm place to curl up when they leave the big leagues.

Yep, nope.

Speaking of white trash, according to Prowrestling.net (and my friend Niemann, who forwarded this link onto me first), Ric Flair was profiled at Grantland.com in an unflattering but completely honest way: The article dives into court papers and records – “thousands of pages,” according to the article – to piece together the many financial, work-related and marital problems the “Nature Boy” has dealt with in the past two-plus decades. It’s an incredible read and absolutely worth your time, but let me pull out a couple of non-Flair snippets to show you the great detail into which this article goes.

At other points during the [2002] flight [from hell], [Scott] Hall licked [flight attendant Heidi] Doyle’s face, told her he wanted to “lick her pussy,” and asked [flight attendant Taralyn] Cappellano to “suck his dick.”

Poor flight attendants. Why can’t people just be up front and say what they want? “TWO peanuts, please! It’s a long flight!”

[Virgil] Runnels [III, aka Dustin Rhodes] advised Cappellano that, “You and me are gonna fuck.”

Seriously, just say what you want! These women have long days ahead of them! I promise I’m going to speak my mind next time I fly; it’ll really help these ladies out. -Eric

Former TNA star Scott Hall sentenced to jail

scott hall jake roberts

"At a total combined weight of 750 milliliters, the team of Borrowed Time!"

According to Prowrestling.net, former WWE star Scott Hall was sentenced to 10 days in jail stemming from a May 2010 arrest for drunken driving. The sentence was reduced to two days thanks to previous time served, none of which Hall actually remembers, so good for him.

For starters, you’ll notice our headline attributes Scott Hall’s stardom to TNA. That’s because TNA is white trash, much like Scott Hall. Also, you’ll notice we haven’t linked back to the original story from May 2010 of Scott Hall being arrested. That’s because we absolutely don’t remember that happening. Not because it’s not newsworthy, but because this guy gets himself in so much trouble, he makes blurs look clear. It’s like if someone punched you in the nuts 10,000 times and then asked, “Hey, remember that time I punched you in the nuts?” -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio Show #145

I luvs me the twittetube!

Because we’re not always interested in the wrestling week in and week out, we decided to cover the topic of social media and wrestlers’ use of it. This topic was too big for just two men so Eric, Jeremy and Kevin joined in the fray. We start off my talking about how odd it is that two icons, the Ultimate Warrior & Hulk Hogan, from our childhoods are having a cat fight by way of social media whether it is Twitter barbs or Youtube diatribes that have distracting back grounds. The guys further the conversation by wondering what the end game is for some of these wrestlers. Do they do it to placate their egos? Are they doing it just to get their characters over? Do they think there’s a pot of gold at the end of the social media rainbow? The boys close out the show by talking about the social media firestorm that they were directly (we think) involved with, the Jeff & Matt Hardy tasing video. Kick back with more social media in your ear holes!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #145

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