#ROH Is The Worst Part XIII

From Green Street Hooligans

From Green Street Hooligans

Nothing in this week’s episode made me irate. But they did have several examples of why they are an awful company.

The Error: The production for the World Championship was terrible.  My Take: So third rate. I continue to compare this league to Prime Wrestling for a reason. They now both have Fox behind them, since Fox Sports bought out Sportstime Ohio, but ROH has the bigger budget yet all of their work comes off as smaller budget compared to Prime. It’s incredible. I tried to find the video on Youtube but ROH is ashamed of it so it isn’t posted.

The Error: Matt Taven is yelling at Kevin Kelly when the match finish happens. My Take: The match was a four way match to determine who would take on Taven next for the ROH TV Title. I would assume that Kevin Kelly has an idea of when the match will conclude unless an injury occurs. That’s right, injuries don’t change things in ROH. My error. Point being, Kelly should know when to get Taven to flip out on him. It makes his opponent seem meaningless. Probably because he is but that’s another problem for another column.

The Error: Kevin Kelly makes fun of #PartyBoys then continues to use it through out the match. My Take: I think it’s perfectly fine for an announcer to mock a heel’s persona. When Mitchell Cool makes fun of Zeb Colter, he continues to mock him even if the zingers are terrible. Kevin Kelly made fun of the use of the hash tag during Mike Sydal and Zizou Middoux’s entrance. Fair enough, now rip on them for it. Kelly instead starts complimenting their in-ring work saying things like “#PartyBoys are looking strong in this match.” Christ on a pony Kevin, did you not take a single broadcasting class?

The Error: The tag team titles are playing hot potato. My Take: A couple of weeks ago, Forever Hooligans (Alex Koslov & Rocky Romero) beat reDRagon (Kyle O’Reilly & Bobby Fish). During their Inside ROH segment, they said that Forever Hooligans lost to the American Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) at an un-televised event. Kevin Kelly then tells us that the American Wolves have since lost the titles but he doesn’t tell us to whom. How fucking dumb! What’s the point of the update then?

The Error: For bring out the guy who is helping to fund you. My Take: He must be ashamed to be on TV. I have no idea why he agreed to it. I don’t remember what his name is and I don’t care enough to rewind. All the TV executive needs to do is check out the competition, which he should do every now and again. None of them have champions leaving the company. Kenny King and Jay Briscoe to ring a bell, right? ROH invigorated their Championship by crowning Jay Briscoe as champ after they killed the Championship with the Kevin Steen vs Jim Cornette feud that morphed in SCUM vs. Jim Cornette feud which morphed into a Steve Corino led SCUM which waging war on ROH. Since SCUM’s defeat (only a three weeks ago in TV terms), it seems they’re writing a palate cleansing angle to “Restore honor” to ROH. The main part of this palate cleansing should be the champion that did it. Unfortunately, they’ve got to look like the third rate company they are, not re-sign Jay Briscoe and have a ROH World Championship Tournament.

The Error: Kevin Kelly tells us to go ROHWrestling.com and fill out brackets for the World Championship tournament and play along. My Take: You have got to be kidding me. I would download the WWE App, uninstall it and re-install it for a week straight before going to ROHWrestling.com and filling out a bracket. ROH is the worst. -Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst – Part XII

800-numbers-are-so-easyROH makes it so easy to write a column. I’m 18 minutes into the show and I’m furious. They have sent Maria Kanellis out to be the mouth piece for Mike Bennett’s new character. The match was inconsequential to my anger. Brutal Bob was going against Mike Bennett. It was a squash match with Bob getting in some opportunistic offense. She was terrible on the head set. Maria still sounds like a moron. She could be perfectly smart. I don’t remember any of her interviews when she did the Playboy thing. Which is another factor, she seems so much less hot to me now. I remember looking forward to that Playboy issue. Now, I wouldn’t bother. Back to her dumb streak though. The logic of Bennett’s turn, which isn’t a turn at all. Bennett was a heel. Now, he’s a heel. With no clown car at least. Being down to one manager is a good thing. Having her try and tell us that he’s not going to follow the establishment anymore is down right dumb. He never shook hands before a match that I can remember from the past year and 8 months. So how did that make him “establishment”? He wasn’t in SCUM but that doesn’t mean he liked management. He had complained how he wasn’t getting a shot at the big time. Now, he’s complaining that he’s not big time. How is his position any different? Well, Maria has another gem for us. She tells us to look at Bennett’s new tattoo. That proves he’s a rebel. Nevermind that the WWE Champion has two full sleeves and back tattoos. Randy Orton is even being backed by the establishment in the WWE. But for some reason, the “Man” in ROH is going to keep down that rebel Mike Bennett with one tattoo on the under side of his forearm. Christ on a pony. Maria’s insights were so important that ROH brought her back to be guest commentator during the next match because she’s a women’s wrestling expert. Maria hasn’t wrestled in ROH. I remember her not wrestling too well in the WWE. I remember her being a hold out for a while too. Maria rehashes her points about the new, more rebel like Mike Bennett which are just as dumb a second time around. Then she adds that Ms. Chif is a tough broad. Thanks Maria. I had no idea that the only woman who has won on ROH TV this year is good. What a dumb bell. ROH is the worst. Kevin

Maria Kanellis

I mean, I still would, but that something extra special she had going on is gone.

You know what. I forgot about something when wrapping up the upper part. I forgot that I don’t like the new look for Mike Bennett with the shaved head and beard combination. It makes you look older than you are. Grow back the hair.

Another thing about using Maria as the mouthpiece that hurts his “WWE Stock” as I call it. Mike Bennett needed to show that he was in control to take that next step. Keep Maria around. She can still talk for you sometimes but this occassion of a fresh and more vicious Mike Bennett needed to be delivered by the man himself. You look like a puppet having Maria do the talking. You can’t look vicious as a “hired gun” type when it’s your woman. Maybe if say, Sinister Minister (since how ridiculous that I was going to say Paul Heyman? That guy is never leaving the WWE. He’s killing it right now. They want him around.) were the one in control, you could sell me as “hired gun” material but it’d still be a weird angle. Bennett needed to deliver this speech he didn’t. Two fails in one segment. Congratulations. -Kevin

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