Hulk Hogan wins the first battle. Weilds a large pimp hand.

Yet another national crisis has nearly come to end dear readers. No I am not talking about Frankenstorm Sandy , I am referring to the litigation involved in the Hulk Hogan Sex tape. Hulk Hogan has reportedly come to a settlement with Bubba The Love Sponge according to TMZ. Terms were not disclosed but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Hogan is still suing Gawker and Heather Clem. As a reminder the lawsuit is for $100 million. If Hogan wins this suit this could be the most expensive and haunting penis this woman has ever received.

But really how awesome is Hulk Hogan? Not only does his old wrinkled ass get to bang out a young hot broad but now he is suing her directly for a cash settlement?  Hulk Hogan’s pimp hand has to be as large as his schlong. This old bastard has no right soiling this young woman’s vag but he does and he does himself proud. Now he is turning around expecting her to pay up because they taped the deed and it somehow leaked out for the entire world to see. We should all be so lucky.

I do not understand the big deal. When I am Hogan’s age and some sweet young cooz wants to suckle on the dong of fame then by all means go ahead. Just give me a copy so I can show the rest of the gang here at Stunt Granny. Hell, I would rent out an Imax theater and stretch that shit out to make it fit. (See what I did there?) -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio #204

With a Presidential debate and a Major League Baseball playoff game going on around them, our intrepid heroes Kevin and Dusty are focused on one thing, and one thing only: the major happenings of the last week in the world of professional wrestling! The two contemplate who would have been a better choice to lead the Aces and Eights group in TNA. Would anyone in the known universe have been a better choice than poor, mediocre Devon? They talk about the ponderous Hulk Hogan sex tape, and how HH is no longer b-fri’s with notorious wife swapper Bubba the Love Sponge. Is Jeff Hardy the right choice to lead TNA as its World Heavyweight Champion, or is he a ticking time bomb that you should never put in such a prominent position? Dusty makes his sales pitch for Ryback winning the WWE title, and Kevin is *almost* buying. And the fearless duo finishes things off with a Mount Rushmore of Wrestling Tough Guys, as the backdrop to the alleged altercation between Harley Race and Vader this past week. And a whole lot more nuggets of golden awesomeness, so listen!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #204

Stunt Granny Audio #203

Kevin and Dusty are at the helm for this edition of Stunt Granny Audio, and what an edition it is! The two heroes are momentarily distracted by Dusty’s A’s destroying Jeremy’s Tigers, but are eventually able to turn their attentions towards the latest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. Both Brian Gewirtz and Jim Cornette lost their jobs as head writers for WWE and ROH, respectively. What is the fall out going to be for those two promotions? Can we expect tangible changes, or are these just superficial changes that won’t really incur actual changes unless other moves are made? CM Punk had showdowns with both Vince McMahon and a fan on this past Monday’s Raw. Can a slap really reverberate to the knee, or is the fan just looking to get his sue on? Is it ridiculous for Vince McMahon to be standing toe-to-toe with a top wrestler? TNA’s salary information got leaked on the internet mysteriously. We agree that it’s fun to just gossip about things you’re not really supposed to know. Who is overpaid? Who is underpaid? Will Kurt Angle be heading back to WWE anytime soon? Dave Batista made his MMA debut recently. Is he in it for the long haul or is he just trying to keep his name out there until Vince takes him back? Will he actually be successful at this endeavor? Would he stand any kind of chance whatsoever against Brock Lesnar in a shoot? And finally, much like walking in on your parents as they are, you know, getting busy, the Hulk Hogan sex tape is something you see that you can never ever unsee. But it’s news, so we have to talk about. And you can listen to it by downloading the link, so you better do that immediately.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #203

All Hail Hulk Hogans Sex Tape

Get on the bed and blow me already.

Today is the realization of two items finally being crossed off of my list of “shit you never know you wanted to see?” Recently I was able to scratch off seeing an albino African American child who just so happened to have Down syndrome. I witnessed a real life “clown car” empty with nothing but dwarves, eight of them. But this, just this, beats them both for now.   Yes, getting that elusive check mark is a real life clown having sex with a good looking woman and, wait this may be the same thing; Hulk Hogan pulling out his doinker and laying some pipe. Thanks to the people at Gawker we have a clip.

Finally pieces of the hulk Hogan sex tape have been released and it doesn’t disappoint. Well, it kind of does but hen, well, yuck. It isn’t even sexy.  It contains the sexiness of a battered bag lady drenched in sour milk fellating a 4 day old corpse.  If you want, feel free and check it out but seeing Hogan’s leathery bags of milk he calls an ass pucker as he gets blown is not for everyone.

Maybe expectations were too high but then isn’t everything when it comes to wrestling now? Would anything short of a full on thirty-minute ass dildoing have been satisfying? Where is the god damn money shot brother? Instead we get some standard issue boinking and afterwards the unsexiest  conversation ever after sex. Hogan talks about his kid Nick and how he ate so much he was surprised he could go at all. This mixed with after coitus conversation of how his son’s girlfriend’s twin sister wanted to be the first to “date” Hogan.

In review, Hogan got blown, laid some pipe, complained about being full from a meal, bitched about the time and then bragged about how some other chick wanted to fuck him immediately after getting divorced. How pimp is that?

Side note:  The woman in the video is reported to be the ex-wife of Bubba The Love Sponge, Heather Clem. She is actually pretty good looking. The issue here is that Bubba doesn’t have the courtesy to watch his girl get banged out. If this is what Bubba is in to then by all means have fun but dude, at least watch and jerk it or something? Have some fun with it. Maybe you could learn from the Hulkster or something. In other words; be a man about it.  -Jeremy

Scott Steiner Pulls Back The Twitter Curtain

The following is a collection of Scott Steiner Tweets. Enjoy. – Dusty

* When these assholes got control they tried to takeover everybodys twitter page
* u didnt have twitter they made one up for U…so u people who think yur tweeting sting its not him
* He told me he doesnt watch the show.so hes not tweeting about a show he doesnt watch
* Evrybody refused to sign over twitter so every wk u get an email begging u to twitter what they want
* Got one today,Please tweet this;Hogan take over as GM wonder what he will do…WTF really
* Even if u r not on show Please tweet..so the booking team of pritchard bischoff n hogan wont book U want u to tweet about hogan
* Tweet about yurself hogan nobody else wants to tweet about u u fucking mark
* Im tweeting what they wish they could
* Wondeting what hogans going to do…hmmmm…hes a fn mark so hes going to make a couple of matches that ppl want to see
* Nothing more unprofessional than a heel wanting to be cheered
* So ppl cheer him which pissd everybody off especially sting bcuz he had to wrestle him
* Have the future of wrestling garrett do something bcuz eric told him to in booking meeting….what a fucking joke
* Now hes good but hes going to everything like he did when he was bad bcuz he was first good
* And that produced the worst ratings ever so he went bad which was just as bad as when he was good
* Then his bad wasnt any good bcuz his ratings still sucked so he turnd back to good from bad
* Wtf y’all get his bullshit ….dont forget to say BROTHER ..bcuz its fresh
* Stupid mofo
* Remember deny u had anything to do with the release of the sex tape to try n get more sales
* How kardashian of u….Homomania running wild..his shit writes itself
* His w
* His ex-wife said he was gay right!!!..hhmmm who brought in Orlando Jordan

Hulk Hogan sex tape being shopped around to porn labels, he always does this around WrestleMania

We see your underwear! But not for long, brother!

(Author’s note: I am currently on furlough, which means, for those of you who are unfamiliar with this very corporate term, I can’t work for a week, and I also don’t get paid. Jeremy woke me up from my slumber to share this news with me, so I’d like to wish him a happy jump off a bridge.)

According to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan made a sex tape that is currently being shopped around inside the seedy world of grainy pro wrestling sex tapes. Oh wait, according to TMZ.com, Vivid is a major porn label. I think that’s like making the best hamburger in all of fast food; 10 million people do it, but you’ve managed to draw in enough desperate, confused young men into paying for it.

Anyway, we can think of hundreds of reasons not to watch this video, but here are five great reasons to seek it out as soon as it leaks on YouSendIt:

1) To see if the carpet matches the drapes. That is to say, to see if Hulk shaved his pubes into a fu manchu or even a skullet.
2) To see “unidentified brunette” Koko B. Ware jizz all over Hogan’s “IMMORTAL” back tattoo. Might as well be a bulls-eye.
3) It’s sure to be titled “No Holes Barred.”
4) To hear Hogan call a woman “brother.”
5) To make sure Ultimate Warrior’s sweaty, breathless, expletive-laden review is accurate. -Eric

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