Random NXT: The Arrival Thoughts

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The opening match of NXT Arrival made absolute sense. There was no way this match was going to disappoint and really it was bound to upstage anything else on the card. Placing it first with plenty of buffer matches in between allowed the Women’s Title match as well as the NXT Title match to still make an impact.

Wow, that was just great stuff. Cesaro winning never seemed like a forgone conclusion even though he has been heavily featured on WWE programming. Sami Zayn is going to do big things when he gets the call up and after that match it seems like a forgone conclusion he will be up sometime after WrestleMania.

Thus starts the “Not ready for the big show” part of the event.

Mojo Rawley has the look of Nikoli Volkoff. That works for the 80’s but now it makes him bland. His gimmick of the over excited, hyped, frat brother isn’t going to work in the big show but it does make him standout in the smaller NXT.

CJ Parker’s promos crack me up but the overall gimmick will get lost like Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks. Yeah I used Reks because they both have dreads.

William Regal is awesome.

The Ascension; yuck name. What does The Ascension even mean as a tag team name? Their gimmick is right out of that awkward transition period between the early 90’s and late 90’s. Pairing them with Too Cool though made both men look huge and absolutely intimidating. Despite the criticism this was a solid, formula tag team that did its job in showcasing The Ascension. With the right tweaking they could be up on the main stage soon enough.

There was something totally different about Stephanie McMahon. Her character was totally different and dare I say she looked like she was totally enjoying herself? Oh and maybe basking in a tad bit of pride over her husband’s baby.

William Regal is awesome.
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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #RoyalRumble

game_thrones_khaleesiI caught the beginning of the New Age Outlaws eventual win over Cody Rhodes & Goldust but not the actual victory so I’ll post those thoughts after I actually watch the match. (Next Day Note: I got the chance to watch this one this morning. It was a solid match. It’s still mildly confusing that the WWE puts people, in this instance the New Age Outlawas, in a heel spot while the crowd cheers them. I also don’t like that the bevy of young teams get to sit back and watch this go on. I enjoy the NAO when they come out from time to time but I don’t want to see them on the regular. I will until Wrestlemania at least though.)

The Royal Rumble itself starts with Daniel Bryan taking on Bray Wyatt. I also haven’t done the best of watching this one either. Although as Daniel Bryan gets momentum, it’s a little odd that they’re using this PPV in particular for Wyatt’s coming out party. Bryan goes for a Yes Lock but Wyatt bites his way out of it. Jerry Lawler & JBL do a good job of covering for Bryan doing a splash instead of the Flying Goat Head butt. Wyatt turns a suicide dive into Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail in the ring for the win. Um, okay. What does Bryan get as a return win? Why did the Wyatt Family just leave Bryan alone after the match? It makes no sense. Weren’t they promise to bring hell fire and brim stone down on Bryan?

Paul Heyman cuts a brilliant promo. He talks up Big Show then puts over his own talent in Brock Lesnar. Ben Roethlisberger is in attendance. Josh Matthews gets to play in studio host with Ric Flair, Jim Duggan and HBK. I feel like I’ve read about these segments but haven’t sat thru their uncomfortableness. It’s the exact reason I don’t watch studio shows for baseball, basketball, football, hockey or soccer.

Brock Lesnar gets a jump on Big Show. Heyman then gives him a chair. Lesnar beats down Show with the chair. JBL trying to defend Lesnar’s tactics is ill advised. I’m not sure why Mike Chioda is letting this happen. Big Show punches Lesnar after Chioda finally calls for the bell. I figured the chair would get punched into Lesnar’s face. Big Show is doing a good job of selling the chair beat down. Gigantic F5. Lesnar almost lost his balance but he kept it. Lesnar still looking worse for wear. Lesnar grabs another chair. Lesnar going out of his way to hit the back even as Big Show is laying on it. Should Stephanie come out and give Lesnar similar advice that she gave to Randy Orton earlier this week since he’s number one contender? Big show has got to be hurting. I’m not quite sure the point of this segment. I can understand reinforcing the anger angle but it drug out a bit longer than I’d like.

Solid promo out of the Shield. Seth Rollins playing peace keeper. Roman Reigns talking about his swagger was an indication he isn’t going to win. Dean Ambrose cracks me up a little bit. Randy Orton talks down all of his possible opponent. Renee Young in the leather jacket is cracking me up. Is she part of the Greasers? Randy Orton took so long getting down to the ring that I had time to drop off the scorpion peppers I ate last night. I can’t sit down. John Cena makes short order of his entrance. The beginning of this match is slow, which isn’t entirely bad. Cena cracks me up when he takes the stairs because he ducks down into them and pushes them up and away from him. (Next Day Note: Cena’s trying to make it look like it hurts more because of how far the stairs go but it just makes it look more fake to me.) Orton goes for a pin after a DDT but only gets two. I love Orton trolling the crowd. He gets an electric chair for the trolling. Cena and Orton fight back and forth. Cena’s top rope leg drop is awful. I’d have him take that out of his arsenal before any other move. A 2nd countered AA means that the third one will be the charm. Orton does the hanging DDT from the ring apron onto the floor mats. Orton rolls him back in but doesn’t get the pin. Cena locks in the STF but Orton gets to the rope. Orton hangs Cena out to dry. The referee gets knocked out. Of course this would happen in a tradition match. I feel like the WWE has gotten away from the ref bumps. I could be very wrong. Orton nails Cena with the belt. By the time Charles Robinson is awake, Cena kicks out. AA but Orton kicks out. The lady & I aren’t completely sure if the crowd is chanting “This is awful.” RKO but Cena kicks out. The lay out of this match has been odd. I thought they were getting into second gear but it jumped to third. Orton locks in the STF sleeper style. Cena transitions into a cross face. AA to Cena only gets a two count. Cena with the RKO but another kick out. Nice of Orton to jump up on Cena’s shoulders. Tornado DDT by Cena after an Orton reversal. Cena locks in the STF again. Cena drags him into the middle of the ring. The Wyatts music hits. Cena goes after the Wyatts. Randy Orton nails the RKO for the win. Orton walks out thru the crowd. The Wyatts attack John Cena. Sister Abigail. Interesting turn of events. The only reason I have to think Wyatt is a threat is his win earlier tonight, which also came out of nowhere.

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Stunt Granny Audio #240

mullet 001Jeremy & Kevin are your hosts this week. Though they are using better recording technology than a telephone, it is not working all that well to start. Bad connections get them to talk about bad referees. Jeremy veers the conversation into high school photographs. Are the pictures really air brushed now? What hairdo did Jeremy sport?  Kevin would have looked perfect in an Iroc -Z with his hair style. They finally get around to talking about wrestling and start with the imminent departure of AJ Styles from TNA. Why did TNA let him carry the title around the world if they weren’t going to re-sign him? Does the company owe him anything? Does he owe the company anything? Which one of the guys thinks that the WWE machine could turn Styles into something better? Jeremy & Kevin move along to talking about the build to TLC. The final segment sold the Randy Orton vs John Cena match, but did it throw off the story lines for CM Punk and Daniel Bryan? How much speculation came from Punk attacking HHH and Bryan kneeing Shawn Michaels? As for Punk’s opponents, who does Seth Rollins get compared to since he is the least hyped member of the trio? Who can Jeremy see imitating Nick Bockwinkel and Ric Flair in the character department? Can Jeremy remember anyone’s correct name from the Wyatt Family? Him and Kevin end the show giving their prediction for the main event of TLC. Find out who they picked when you click the link below.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

enthusiasmI remember seeing a question posed something like “Would you be okay with Daniel Bryan getting screwed if that means he has a match at Wrestlemania with Shawn Michaels?” Well, we’ve come to that moment when good old HBK gave Bryan Sweet Chin Music at Hell In A Cell last night. I knew it was coming with Bryan going over Orton on both Raw & Smackdown as I said in our preview for HIAC. So I wasn’t surprised when I read the result but I was still disappointed. I wanted to see Bryan get that big win that seems to be lacking for everyone recently except CM Punk. I think it’d be awesome if HBK & Bryan had a match at Wrestlemania. But the reason I suspect my gut was disappointed at Bryan’s loss is the fact that every time I say “I’ll put my faith in the WWE” because I can see a great build up, it never materializes. Time to tune into Raw and find out how things shake out. Let’s roll.

I am glad the CM Punk vs Paul Heyman feud is over. It seemed to have run it’s course for the time being. Of course we get a rematch of Punk & Ryback. Glad I didn’t order last night. John Cena is the first one out the chute though. Of course. The question now is whether he becomes more of a main stay on Smackdown. He calls out JBL for some reason. Cena is doing a terrible impression. (Next Day Edit: Of JBL if you didn’t watch.) Well, he said he’s back in Raw. Now Smackdown too. Question answered. He’s still pretty dumb for coming back this soon. Cena drags Randy Orton into the conversation. Damien Sandow comes down with the briefcase. Sandow goes all doctor on Cena. Sandow ends up attacking Cena’s arm with the briefcase. The old ring post gimmick does the trick every time. So does tossing him into the stairs. Sandow calls for the referee. We get a commercial first.

That ensures that Cena wins, right? Sandow works over the arm. Belly to Belly Suplex gets Cena a break. But not much of one. Cena buys himself time again with a back drop. Holy cow, another commercial. Cena is going to win. Sandow is taking over again. Does this make him look better though? He’s beating up a guy who is inured so much so that a doctor is at ring side. Cena is just an idiot for breaking the count. No Mitchell Cool, it isn’t brave. Cena kicks out of the Termanoose. I haven’t spelled that before. Sandow kicks out after a neck breaker. Sandow with a cross face. Cena counters. Ugh. You’re Welcome? That’s the name of the move? I know it’s his catch phrase but it sounds nonlethal as a move. Attitude Adjustment. Mitchell Cool has an orgasm. I’m disgusted. Dean Ambrose is being made to defend his belt against Big E Langston. Seth Rollins wants to rectify their mistake. Believe in the Shield.

The Shield is in the ring. Big E Langston. Wow, that is a serious gash he got himself. Roman Reigns pulls down the ropes. The Shield attacks. Will Punk return the favor? Nope, the Usos do. I can handle more Usos vs Reigns & Rollins. Brad Maddox is back in action. (Next Day Edit: I suppose it should be noted that Maddox turned the match into a six man tag match.) Big Show is know to have a restraining order against him. Jimmy Uso is getting the beat down. Reigns missed clothesline looked awful even if it was on purpose. Jey gets the hot tag. The splash was his undoing again. I enjoyed the ending with the double spear by Reigns finishing it. The athleticism between the teams is good stuff. They seem to have good chemistry too.

Twice the spear for the same price!

Twice the spear for the same price!

Shawn Michaels doesn’t owe anyone an explanation but we’re going to get one anyway. He requests Daniel Bryan‘s presence. After a nice explanation, Michaels asks Bryan to accept his apology. HBK taught him not to trust anyone last night. Bryan still won’t shake after Shawn’s 2nd line of reasoning. HBK recites his accolades and offers the hand shake a third time. He goes for it and puts on the Yes! Lock. Why are refs coming out now but they let Cena got his ass handed to him? I love JBL’s outrage but his line of reasoning makes no sense.

Renee Young talks to Daniel Bryan. The Wyatt Family attacks. Interesting turn of events. Sister Abigail’s Kiss into chain link fence. We’re supposed to believe that hurts. The case into the head sells better. I’ve lost interest in this whole entrance rather quickly. El Torito has gone black tonight. By the way, all Mitchell Cool or Jerry Lawler needs to say back to JBL is that HBK told Bryan not to trust anyone. So why should HBK trust Bryan? 3MB brought a net to the ring even though they have a 3 on 2 advantage. Ha, JBL notes the color change. My woman thinks she could commentate “this shit” since she called the bull color change. Now she’s trying to tell me she knew what I was thinking. Nope, I stole her idea. I’m an unobservant mook. Slater goes to catch EL Torito. He slides under the ring. Fire extinguisher in the eyes leads to another gore. Double Back Drop for the Los Matadores win. They catch Slater. El Torito nails Slater with some sort of cross body block type move.

AJ Lee is in the ring celebrating. Tamina is in tow. Oh, we get another tag team match. (Next Day Note: I was laughing last night as I tried to retroactively do the set up for the match because I had either FFed thru the entrances or just not been paying attention. Not my best work.) The Bellas are taking on the heels. She’s been forced into the match? Please shoot this down JBL. He doesn’t. Cool does shoot down JBL’s argument about Michaels & Bryan. Wrong segment chief. Jerry Lawler finally gets in my line about not trusting anyone. Tamina can’t seem to slam Nikki properly. She finally gives her a Samoan Drop. AJ is tagged in to tap out Nikki to the Black Widow. The break up of the Bellas is in full motion with Brie getting kicked out of the ring.

We get more Hell In a Cell recap. Kane is back on Raw. The Miz comes out as his opponent. Kane makes short work of the Miz. Mitchell Cool even says so. He calls out Stephanie McMahon. Kane tells her she’s ruined lives. He believes it is best for business. Kane tells her the monster is her’s to unleash. Kane gives her his mask and fake hair. Glad he could get rid of that. Another interesting turn of events.

The Prime Time Players are our salesmen this week. I’d prefer to see these guys in the ring. They’re not as good as the Usos or the Shield but I like them. David Otunga read the complaint from the Big Show on WWE.com. He sells the lawsuit as being legitimate and that it could cause the McMahon’s problems. Interesting again. (Next Day Note: Not interesting at all actually. You never get an actual lawsuit in wrestling. This route is just their out this time around. Note as always, sometimes I’m an idiot.) CM Punk comes out before his match with Ryback. He gets to gloat that Paul Heyman is history. Sounds like he’s ready for a shot at Randy Orton from that speech. He just needs to clear Ryback off his platter once and for all.

Sam Waterston

Can we get Sam Waterston to read all legal action going on in the WWE?

Ryback comes out after we find out that it’s a street fight. Punk went for a cross body for some reason. Ryback using power early. Headkick leads to the elbow through a table. Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice. Ryback taps. Wow, that was entirely too quick. Lawler points out it had all of the voted on gimmicks. Bray Wyatt shows up again. They do the slow roll up the run way. Harper & Rowan attack. How exactly would Punk leave? Through the crowd I suppose. They have the ramp blocked off. He blows out the lamp and they’re on their way already so that avenue is cut off. Punk head butts Wyatt. Sister Abigail again.

The Real Americans are taking on Goldust & Cody Rhodes. Goldust gets the revival of his career talk. Cody and Antonio Cesaro hook up. Goldust tags in with a bull dog. Cody & Swagger come in quickly. All for a commercial break. Swagger is in control of Cody. I want to gouge my eyes out reading the Tweets they put up on the screen. The Double Stomp continues to impress me. Cesaro with the super upper cut. Goldust saves the match. Cody knees Cesaro for an opening. Swagger & Goldust get tags. Vintage hot tag. Goldust with a spinning cross body. Swagger gets the Patriot Lock. After chaos with all four men, Swagger chop blocks Goldust. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock again. He gets the tap out. These guys finally get a win to go with all of Zeb Colter’s promo time.

Alberto Del Rio doesn’t care about Damien Sandow. John Cena stole his title. He’s going to make his arm a target. He seems to have lost some gusto.

Fandango actually escorted Summer Rae out to the ring. The Great Khali & Hornswoggle bring out Natalya. I had no idea Summer Rae got the pin on Natalya. Summer is doing more show material than actual wrestling. She’s definitely flexible. Natalya sparked the match for about five seconds. A bunch of rest holds. The more the announcers call for the upset, the less I expect it. Summer Rae bitches at Khali for beating up Fandango. Sharpshooter for the win. What a pathetic win.

HHH presents Randy Orton to us. I can’t wait until Herb Dean turns on someone in a big championship match. (Next Day Note: For those of you that don’t watch the UFC, he’s one of their referees. He’ll never attack someone during a fight.) JBL is very proud of an AWOL Marine who shits in women’s bags. Good for you. Steph gets to be condescending. More respect is needed. Randy Orton isn’t as good as Steph in condescension. Big Show gets Steph, Randy Orton & HHH to run. Randy Orton attacks from behind. He still gets knocked out. HHH pretends to man up. Big Show is sporting a new shirt which is hilarious. He doesn’t work for us but we’re making him new t shirt designs! – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

1982-Wolverine-Issue 1I was watching Comic Book Men before I started the column. The above comic might be the one that I own with any real value. I can’t really call myself a comic book guy at this point though. I haven’t bought anything in at least a decade. I don’t count buying “The Walking Dead” or Dragonball Z mangas for my good buddy Ken. I do enjoy getting a peak at some cool ass items on this show. I could care less if it’s staged or not. Enough babble. Let’s roll.

Shawn Michaels gets the opening segment. All of the announcers agree that he’ll call it straight down the line. Should I take that as a hint or are the announcers just stating the obvious. HBShizzle doesn’t get much mic time before Randy Orton shows his ugly mug. Orton goes for the “I’m better than you ever were” agitation. It fails. Orton goes on a tirade then. Shawn threatens Sweet Chin Music. Orton attacks him from behind. They both almost hit their finishers. The Miz attacks Orton. We get a commercial. The Miz should have left his mom at home according to JBL. Ha. When they do a close up on Orton’s arms, it really shows how bad those original tattoos were. They stick out even though he got well done ones on the rest of his arm to try and hide them. I do forget about the difference more when the shot is out further. After some offense by Orton, Miz gets back on a roll. The Miz starts to put on the figure four when the lights go out. The Wyatt Family is on the stage. Orton RKOs the Miz. I’m glad King agreed with JBL about the Miz taking his eye off the prize. Bray Wyatt says he hates fame. Wyatt threatens to put him down.

I just thought about this with Fandango‘s entrance, we didn’t even get Fandango at last week’s Smackdown. We got seriously hosed. Santino Marella is his opponent. Fandango got the early jump. Santino did a modified Stunner to start his come back. Summer Rae “distracts” Santino when he simply stops from nailing her with the Cobra. Fandango rolls him up for the win.

Paul Heyman has Brad Maddox‘s ear. Heyman claims Maddox was made the fool by CM Punk. Maddox doesn’t cave to him. Maddox has a beat the clock challenge for Punk & Ryback to determine their stipulation at HIAC. Xavier Woods from NXT started a petition for Big Show to be re-instated. JBL is angry about it. I just smell another call up. John Cena gets his Superman video package. El Torito comes out with Los Matadores. Ole! into commercial break.

Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre are their opponents. Jinder Mahal is at ringside for 3MB. Diego starts against McIntyre. They are on the El Torito band wagon. Double Samoan Drop for the win. Wow, Jeremy nailed it so far with the “boring show” label. Good gravy. It’s not terrible but it’s just there. (Next Day Edit: After looking for places for more comments, I can’t find one. The show was just there. Still. Predictable and executed well. This note should be at the end of the column but fits better here.)

HHH & Big Steph get to the top of the hour. Big Steph does the caring wife angle. HHH is going to be a villain since everyone is painting them that way. Daniel Bryan comes out. Before anything is said, Alberto Del Rio attacks. Del Rio kicks him in the head. Steph makes a match between the two tonight.

R Truth is a smart baby face and goes to the outside instead of letting Ryback attack him. The plan falls apart when Truth halts for Heyman. Ryback gets the offense going but tries for a pin after every move. Completely bizarre to see Ryback rolling up Truth. That shouldn’t be in his power move set. Truth gets in some offense at the 4:30 mark. Shell Shock at 5:44. It wasn’t much offense.

Big Steph is angry at Brie Bella. Nikki has to stay in the back during the match. It is spiteful for Steph to assign a match between Brie & Tamina “I Never Win Despite My Size and Name” Snuka. I’m siding with JBL but not for his reason. Tons of Funk get a full entrance. Commercial. The Real Americans and Zeb Colter are mad at Los Matadores. It was only a matter of time until they jobbed to the new guys. Swagger Bomb is followed by Cesaro vaulting Swagger for the double stomp. That is an impressive move by the big man. Xavier Woods gets more air time. Brodus gets the hot tag. Clay with a PerfectPlex. I’m so lost on big man moves tonight. Cesaro turns it with an European Upper Cut. Cesaro with the Neutralizer for the win. Cesaro with the Big Swing on Tensai after the match.

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Happy 60th birthday, @HulkHogan!

(Those were happier days, dude; look below for some hatred, brother!)

Hulk Hogan turned 60 today, and some of his friends have wonderful birthday wishes for the No. 1 Hulkamaniac. Here’s the late “Macho Man” Randy Savage with some birthday advice:

Booker T would normally leave a present for the Hulkster, but in this case, he wants to take something:

Shawn Michaels offers up his own interpretive dance:

And Hulk’s old nemesis Ultimate Warrior conjures up some fun memories:

Hulkster, allow your fans at Stunt Granny to pile on… er, continue the birthday wishes, and here’s to hoping you can keep milking that idiot Dixie Carter for her oil money until Papa Vince finally calls in his “Real Americans” blow-off angle. -Eric

Wrestlemania 29 (NY/NJ) Preview Part III

Hell-no-Wonder Woman

Since Jeremy agreed that he wouldn’t be doing previews as I had predicted on Monday, I’m going written for the previews. I’m hoping to do two matches a day including on Sunday. We’ll see if it happens or if I end up stacking them up because I can’t get to them. I’ll be separating them into pairs with one good match and one bad match.

Bad Match

Tag Team Champions Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan & Kane) defending against Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston: Daniel Bryan & Kane were brilliant. I still love some of Kane’s reactions but I feel like their schtick has run it’s course. My boy Dolph Ziggler continues to hang onto that briefcase. I could only hope this match is early on in the card for him to cash it in. Big E Langston is a wild card for me. I haven’t watched NXT online so I’ve got no idea how his in ring work is. The other three are very good so the match quality depends on Langston. Since Kaitlyn isn’t on the card with the Diva’s Title on the line, she almost surely will join Team Hell No at ring side to offset AJ Lee. The reason I put this one in the bad match area is because the finish seems inevitable. Prediction: Team Hell No wins because Dolph isn’t going to tag full time with Big E.

Good Match

HHH vs Brock Lesnar: The build up for this match has been fairly anticlimactic. I didn’t record HHH beating the hell out of Paul Heyman because I didn’t care what the stipulation was. It did raise an eyebrow when I found out that it was a retirement clause. I like the prospect of not seeing HHH in the ring again. He does look like he’s trained really hard to cut out the usual marriage fat he’s been carrying. Does that mean he wants to go out looking good? I sure hope so. It does mean we should expect a good brawl. But then there’s the chance that he decides to beat Brock Lesnar. Brock may not need the win but it’d finally make up for the mistake of having him lose right off the bat to John Cena. I know Brock won’t be around much and he is easily sold because of his credentials so he doesn’t need the win. Predicition: HHH makes it official that Wrestlemania is the place to retire.

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