Stunt Granny Audio #259

Sideshow Freaks: Human Oddities by Travis Haight Photography by way of DeviantArt.com

Sideshow Freaks: Human Oddities by Travis Haight Photography by way of DeviantArt.com

Kevin is back to talk wrestling, this time with our Main Event & NXT expert Chris Calamita. Kevin attended the Main Event tapings that were prior to Smackdown. What epic tag team match started off the tapings? Was it even on the tapings? They move along to someone who is definitely on the show, Seth Rolllins. He got to announce a Money In The Bank contract match. Is this a good idea since they have another ladder match on the card for the WWE Title? How much time did Chris & Kevin spend on Rusev? In the Funkadactyls break up angle, why does Chris think Naomi is unlikeable? Why does Kevin think Cameron is unlikable? How is Paige connecting with the live crowd? If there’s a good match for the main event of Main Event, will anyone care? Will they make a bigger deal out of Goldust & Stardust showing up for a dark match against Rybaxel? Chris & Kevin move on to the spoilers from the Smackdown taping. What traditional angle for the WWE Title was followed by a brawl to start off the show? Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose both get mic time. Who is getting the better of the exchange? Who has a better new look now that Rollins changed his in ring gear for Smackdown? Did Dolph Ziggler get some Bad News in his match with Wade Barrett? Ambrose wrestled Kane at the top of the hour. How many times did interference happen in all of these taped matches? As I said on Twitter “We all know ADR took the pin but who got the pin & biggest reaction of the night. spoilers?” Chris requested he get some time to address his least favorite person on the roster right now. Does Kevin agree with him? Click on the link below to find out the answers to these questions and more!

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

From behindthesteelcurtain.com

From behindthesteelcurtain.com

Chuck Noll, the coach who has more Super Bowl wins than any other coach in the history of the National Football League, passed away on Friday. I didn’t really get to enjoy those four Lombardi Trophies that he helped bring to Pittsburgh. I was 3 when they won #3 and 4 when they lifted #4 but I was too young to remember. By the time I had started to really watch football, the Steelers were pretty terrible. I didn’t know him as a winner but rest assured that my Grandpa Sheehan and my father have filled me in on some of that past glory. If you want to read more about what he means to Pittsburgh, I suggest reading Dejan Kovacevic’s Noll Made Us All Steelers article in the Pittsburgh Tribune -Review, which had very little to do with football.

As for wrestling, I will be attending Smackdown tomorrow so you won’t hear my lovely voice until at least Wednesday if not later. I’ll be wondering if everyone that loses is going to get fired considering Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre and Aksana all got to take losses before being “future endeadvored” on Wednesday. It’s time for Raw though. Let’s roll.

We get the locker room on the entrance stage. HHH & Stephanie McMahon greet us from the middle of the ring.They run down Daniel Bryan more. Giving rise to even more speculation in my mind that he’ll be back for the PPV. I don’t feel like they played Dr. Maroon’s part last week that said he would be re-evaluated to get him back in the ring as soon as possible. Steph announces a battle royal. Only the idiots in Cleveland would cheer for that pile of trash style of match. (Next Day Note: Since I didn’t comment on them for the rest of the night, that was a second consecutive good crowd in Cleveland.) HHH boots Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & John Cena from the match. Can I say they’re doing a solid smarm job but still not like having to endure this garbage? Evil Authority. HHH acts like Kane hasn’t lost to Cena more times than I care to remember.

Dolph Ziggler heads to the ring. He gets to lose to Seth Rollins in another good match that he won’t be rewarded for. We get a video package about Rollins betrayal. The match doesn’t go much of anywhere when the break hits. Rollins in control after it. Jaw jacker by Ziggler. Rollins tosses him outside. Ziggler cracks Rollins when he goes for a suicide dive. Rollins kicks out the back of Ziggler’s leg to take over. The big DDT gets Dolph a two count. Ziggler slaps on the sleeper hold. Fame Asser for a two count. Ziggler goes for the DDT a second time but Rollins turns it into a buckle bomb. That looked like a good recovery. Second buckle bomb leads to the Curb Stomp. Dean Ambrose attacks for the DQ win. He then gets some mic time as Rollins backs away. He challenges him to a match. HHH gives him Bad News Barrett. I wish he’d drop the fascination with the cape spot for his entrance.

Ambrose is dressed in a black tank top & jeans. Is this a new look? If so, why is he the first to change his in ring gear? Ambrose gets tossed off the top rope to the floor for the first significant move. Ambrose re-injures his shoulder. Barrett works it over. A back elbow and Tornado DDT gets Ambrose an opening. I keep trying to block out the announcers but it’s not working. They bicker so poorly that it drives me bananas. Ambrose hits the catapult clothes line. Rollins distracts Ambrose. Ambrose side steps a charging Barrett. Ambrose nails them with a suicide dive. Ambrose gets counted out fighting Rollins in the crowd. Ambrose attacks Barrett and nails Dirty Deeds. JBL makes one valid point “That sneak attack is okay?” No answer from Mitchell Cool or Jerry Lawler. Ugh. Roman Reigns tries to sweet talk Vickie. It’s just a ploy to spike HHH & Steph’s drinks with what I’m assuming is pepper since Vickie sneezed. Do cartoons still do that gimmick? Seems like a dated reference to me.

From occultspace.com

From occultspace.com

Bray Wyatt comes out and talks in low light around a ladder. Power is his game. He points to the belt and says that’s all the power he’d ever need. Wyatt then starts to hype Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. I would be perfectly happy to see them as tag champions. I just hope the Usos don’t hang it up since that tends to happen when losses happen. Sing along time. Sheamus reminds us that it’s bad luck to walk under ladders. Wyatt welcomes the fight that Sheamus promises to bring. Sheamus works over Wyatt at first. In what looks like a botched spot, Wyatt falls down. He gets up and tackles Sheamus. It looks like Sheamus is going to be attacked by Harper & Rowan when the Usos decide to show up.

It remains a singles match after the break. I was expecting a six man to start. Sheamus fights back. A high running knee was missed by Sheamus. Wyatt ends up hitting the cross body block. Sheamus power slams Wyatt. Sheamus backs into the corner when Harper & Rowan grab him. The Usos join the fight. The Usos end the fracus by running up a ladder and diving onto Harper & Rowan. HHH whacks Vickie as she tries to give him his coffee. So just Steph is going to be sick.

Steph is still drinking away as she is interviewed by Renee Young. She ends up running off. Paul Heyman thankfully is the replacement. He runs through the possible champions but then tells us that Cesaro being the next champion is not a prediction but a spoiler. Heyman even makes the most of short ones.

Rusev is out to face the One Man Band. Did Mitchell cool just call him simply Slater? If so, they have gone too far with the single name status. Lana gets to talk from the middle of the ring this week. She gives us a Mount Russiamore. He speaks. He is the super athlete. Slater gives us the go back speech. American rock star, baby! Kick to the face. Crush. The Accolade. I hope I don’t see him tomorrow. (Next Day Note: I still don’t want to see him tonight.) Vickie has to check on Stephanie and gets puked on. Sigh. Vickie is now in charge but is told to take a shower. Scream by Vickie. (Next Day Note: I’m was so confused. Vickie sneezes in the segments to imply pepper was the spiking agent but Steph is puking so much that she has to leave the arena. Reigns didn’t go with laxative, which has more potential for pervs who want to see Steph on the toilet, so what did he use exactly? Pepper won’t make you violently puke.)

Roman Reigns lobbies Vickie Guerrero again. Smart plan by Reigns. He gets what he wants. Why would she do that? (Next Day Note: Just send the clip of Reigns spiking their drinks. Or how about HHH & Steph watch their own product so they don’t fire Vickie wrongfully. Now you really are screwed.) They advertise “Think Like a Man Too” which I won’t see no matter how great Kevin Hart is in this segment. He gets to meet Adam Rose. Hart won’t be a Rose Bud. He’s going to do commentary? That’s probably going to be better than a dumb segment with him.

Kevin Hart is on the head set next. I don’t FF as Hart starts cracking on Fandango & Layla. Did they have him out just to ask that question for Mitchell Cool to throw to replay? It appears as if it’s a ladies match with Summer Rae. Oh, Adam Rose is joining her. The guys start the match. Summer Rae goes hell cat on Layla. Layla tags out ASAP. Party Foul by Rose for the win. What the fuck? Kevin Hart joins Rose for a victory dance. They both crowd surf. I’m just shaking my head. It should be noted that one of my lady’s co-workers will be taking his eleven year old girl to Smackdown tomorrow. I’m wondering if she isn’t as disgusted by that segment as me. I doubt it. Boo-tista Unleashed where he gets to cry. Hey man, don’t say the internet didn’t like you. As soon as you played what you should be playing (ahem a heel who won’t be cheered) your run was fantastic. Said it then, will continue to say it now.

Dark Royalty by Shiroin.com

Dark Royalty by Shiroin.com

The Battle Royal is on. Santino & Damien “Lebron James” Sandow were eliminated early. A Matadore then another got tossed by Rusev. They talk about Bo Dallas a lot. Titus O’Neil gets tossed by Reigns. Sin Cara gets tossed. Ziggler gets staying in the match. Jack Swagger should toss Kofi but it’s ass backwards. The US beat Ghana 2-1. I don’t care that it was bowling shoe ugly. 3 points is 3 points. I can keep track of this garbage on the app. No thanks. No eliminations so it really didn’t matter. Ryback eliminates Ziggler. Reigns goes bananas in the ring. Ryback slows him down. Reigns spears Rybaxel. Fandango gets eliminated. Ryback gets low bridged. Axel leaves. RVD gets occupied with Barrett and Dallas. RVD fights them both off. RVD goes for a monkey flip when Dallas tosses him. Dallas hugs Barrett who clothes lines him. Bo gets tossed but holds on. Dallas gets speared and tossed by Reigns. It’s down to Reigns and Rusev. They aren’t giving this to Rusev. The heel kick by Rusev finally looks significant. Reigns fires back on Rusev. They fight with Rusev on the apron. Superman Punch to eliminate Rusev. John Cena just saw the impossible become possible. He’s happy about the stretcher match. Whatever dude. (Next Day Note: What I should have typed was “Even Cena realizes he’s beat Kane more time than he can count.)

Naomi & Cameron both still have jobs. Paige gets to wrestle Cameron. Oh goody. Cameron’s main offensive weapon is a slap. Not good news. Naomi acts disappointed in Cameron. We’re getting a break up angle. Good for Naomi, bad for Cameron. Paige locks in the PTO.  The announcers go back over the Rhodes saga. Byron Saxton gets to interview Goldust. He is excited about his new partner who is super galactic. Definitely Cody in some kind of gear.

Goldust is the first out. Stardust is out second. Cody with a star on his face. Dear lord. Stardust makes short work off Curtis Axel. (Next Day Note: I just feel bad that the king of the one trick pony gimmicks has another gimmick. It has kept him on TV so maybe it isn’t so bad.)

John Cena & Kane allow me to nearly catch up. The announcers have to sell Kane’s mean streak. Kane tries for the stretcher before the first break. Several times. Stupid. Cena tosses Kane into a chair wedged into the ropes. Kane choke slams Cena. Kane goes to attack Cena with the stairs when Cena drop kicks his legs. Kane cracks his face off the stairs on the way down. Kane reverses an AA into a DDT onto the stairs. Cena rolls off the stretcher. He tosses Kane into the post. Cena bounces off the barricade. Kane cleans off the announce table. Cena pops up and gives him the AA thru the table. Cena is a moron so he carries Kane to the stretcher. Take the stretcher to him.How about lowering the stretcher? Seth Rollins and Randy Orton attack Cena. Ambrose makes the save. He gets choke slammed by Kane. Cena dumps Kane to the outside. Cena tosses the stairs at Kane. Rollins & Orton had the numbers to finish the job. Kane sits up near the finish line. A reverse gets an AA onto the stretcher which poor Kane has to sell. Cena pushes him across the line for the win. – Kevin

 

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw

From themusicwithinus.com

From themusicwithinus.com

If you have ever been to this site, you know I put everything on hold when the Pittsburgh Penguins are in the Stanley Cup Playoffs so you are not surprised I’m starting this column late. Hockey is my favorite sport. This year, things are made interesting by the fact that they’re playing the Columbus Bluejackets, to which I have half season tickets. I thought I would be going to all home games but it turns out I’m only going to half so that at least allows me to finish this column in somewhat timely fashion. It also means I’m attending Game 4 on Wednesday so this game tonight was extra important. I feel much better about going to that game with a 2-1 game lead than being down one. I love Columbus, but that’s on hold until this series is over. Let’s Go Pens!

Brie Bella gets her in ring time with her husband Daniel Bryan, except Stephanie McMahon interrupts the fun. We get condescending Steph so it’s a good one. We’re supposed to be worried about the evil Kane being back though which needs more convincing from me. Kane from “out of nowhere” aka just where Bryan & Brie walked to. Bryan gets tombstoned by Kane as Steph shouts “No!” Kane sets up Bryan on the lower half of the stairs. Another tombstone. Is Bryan injured? (Next Day Note: No he isn’t. Unfortunately his father died. Man, that’s tough. You accomplish your dream, get married way above your looks only to have that happen. Yuck. Condolences to the Danielson family.) A third tombstone on the announce table still doesn’t sell me on Kane being able to beat Bryan. They’re trying at least.

If Bad News Barrett wins this match against Sheamus, then Cesaro loses against RVD later. These two have had some fun brawls in the past so I expect a good match. The cross body block is getting popular for the big guys to show off the agility. It never quite looks right and Sheamus is no different. Sheamus gets kicked off the apron to go to break. Sheamus takes over in this stretch. He does look much smoother doing the top rope shoulder block. Barrett turns it around with the Winds of Change side slam. Barrett misses the Bull Hammer Elbow. Sheamus turns it into White Noise. The cross body block to the floor looks rough. So much can go wrong when you do that. Bull Hammer Elbow as Sheamus goes for the suicide dive. Nice win for Barrett. I like Barrett more as an IC opponent than Cesaro, who seems destined for larger prizes. (Next Day Note: Of course I’m assuming that they won’t go baby face vs Big E who is also babyface. I don’t see RVD holding the IC Title though at this time in his career. They could use him as a stepping stone if they go that route though.)

Bray Wyatt and the Family are on the stage. We’re a nation full of sheep, lead by wolves and owned by pigs. It’s a wonderful night for change. Everyone is abandoning John Cena and coming to his side. We get a sing along. He ends by warning us to fear him. I dig his work.

I was amused by the set up for the El Torito vs Hornswoggle on Smackdown. They wrestled a real match as far as the sequence of moves went. The crowd could have cared less. El Torito is an impressive athlete considering his limitations. Jinder Mahal breaks up a pin. Drew McIntyre comes in to take on El Torito. Los Matadores hold up McIntyre for El Torito to sit on him from the top rope. El Torito then pinned him. “Evolution has always been the measuring stick” from Jerry “The King” Lawler. Is he going heel? He was just running down El Torito. I’m so confused. (Next Day Note: Lawler went back into baby face mode for the rest of the show which makes me even more confused.)

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Stunt Granny Audio #251

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

Jeremy & Kevin are back for another fun filled edition of the Stunt Granny Audio. They start off by talking about children because Baby Momma Drama still has children’s stuff in Kevin’s condo. Jeremy makes quick mention of the fine establishments that he got his engagement pictures snapped at. They move on to the breaking news that the “stars” of “Big World, Little People” are on a hiatus from their marriage. How many short jokes can they make in a couple of minutes? Jeremy & Kevin finally get around to talking wrestling and they start with the big news of the week, Daniel Bryan. Why did Kevin have a problem with how the Authority reacted to the #OccupyRaw movement. Jeremy wonders if the segment would have been helped out by not having Bryan have to focus his wrath on both Stephanie McMahon and HHH. How would you like to get on Stephanie’s bad side in real life with that scream? Everyone is assuming that HHH will lose to Daniel Bryan. What do the guys speculate would happen if HHH put himself over? How would he celebrate the victory? Who would be taking pictures of the stunned crowd? How would the crowd react for the rest of Wrestlemania, Raw & Smackdown? Kevin changes his tune about the planning for matches at Wrestlemania. What match on Wikipedia is a stretch to be considered a main event match? It won’t be a stretch for you to click on the link below to find out the answers to these questions and more.

News You Can Use: Kurt Angle, Mick Foley and the WWE

What should I take?

A young Kurt Angle has his first encounter with his biggest life long nemesis.

Kurt Angle is in the news because in the UK Sun, he expressed the idea of coming back to the WWE. Per the article

And he revealed how his future could well rest with the WWE due to “unfinished business” from his previous run with Vince McMahon’s company.

If Kurt Angle truly has unfinished business, I hope he quit his side business that WWE helped him with by tossing him into rehab last year. For his sake, I hope all is well but that isn’t very funny. What could also be serious is a short WWE run to finish things up. He’s the same age as Batista so the WWE may not care whether it’s asthma or a pill that is causing your shortness of breath five minutes into a match.

Mick Foley is in the news (Prowrestling.net that is) because he now has a comedy special on AXS TV which will air on February 6th. I had no idea what the station was until it was revealed to be the re-branded HD Net. So I don’t get the station so I will not be watching it. I’ve seen his show. Jeremy has seen his show. We both enjoyed it so I’m sure it’ll be a good show. Too bad his comedy instincts didn’t help make his pay off video for being so mad at the WWE  for not giving the him a slot in the Royal Rumble and a chance at the title at Wrestlemania. We all know you’re a famous tight wad, but to make it more dramatic can you break more than a 32″ TV that goes for $200?

– I’m mildly annoyed that the WWE has decided to skip Columbus for a taping these past two weeks. They did come on a Sunday for a house show but those don’t count. It’s the first time in the last several years that we haven’t gotten a show on the road to Wrestlemania. The WWE instead went to Dayton’s Nutter Center last Monday (January 20th) for Raw which seats 11,500 people. Last night (January 28th), they recorded Smackdown in Toledo at the Huntington Center which seats 9,341. I have no idea why they’d want to record at either of those locations considering that Nationwide Arena here in Columbus seats 19,500. The WWE has a conspiracy against Daniel Bryan, CM Punk and now Columbus. This time it’s a conspiracy of why the WWE didn’t want more money and a better crowd for a TV show. – Kevin

The Art of Wrestling – @WWE Christmas Sales

christmas-tree-and-presentsEveryone loves to shop this year so allow me to show you some gifts that the WWEShop.com. They have their usual special page for Christmas but it took me to the children’s page first. Normally, I wouldn’t bite on this category but it’s hard to pass up this toy train, especially since my father has a massive train set.

– The WWE Smackdown Express Holiday Train is the perfect gift for your child. Starting from the caboose, the WWE has pictures of CM Punk (I think), Undertaker, Sheamus and Randy Orton. That is quite a bit of Superstar power to be taking the train. Since this is the WWE and we’re stuck in the 70’s, the train still has what I would call in cartoon terms the “Hobo Car” next. You know the train car that is always empty because trains just go from point to point without transporting anything. The hobos in this instance are are HHH down a on knee posing with a sledge hammer and Big Show who looks like he’s trying to spook you or act as a crane to grab something coming past the train. What a bizarre look this car has. They could be wrestling each other or sitting next to each other, legs dangling out of the hobo car and it would look 100% less strange. We move along to the coal car which on has  the logo for the “Night Before Christmas World Tour” on it. I think an appropriate use of the coal car would be to put everyone’s picture on it who has been “Future Endeavored” this year since they’ll be getting coal for Christmas. The fourth and final car is the engine car. Vince’s ego is so big that he’s the one driving, right? Nope, you are wrong. The engineer of this train is John Cena. So if we’re booking by how this train lays out their cars, Cena is definitely winning at TLC.

– My older niece started collecting snow globes the other year. I didn’t get her one this year but if I had looked at WWEShop.com first, I would have. Look at this fantastic WWE Championship Snow Globe. It features the WWE Championship inside of the globe itself. The mounting for this globe is of course a wrestling ring with ropes included. The ring skirt has the WWE logo on one side and the Raw logo on another. I’d love to say they’re knocking Smackdown but that’s the theme of the train. I’m sure some young lad is thinking of setting up his train set around this wrestling ring snow globe that is sure to get everyone talking during the holidays. (About how much of a rube this child is for shucking out $29.99 for this hunk of garbage.

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All pro wrestlers are idiots. Magnus is a pro wrestler. Ipso facto, idiot.

Dumb.

Dumb.

Word going around every single where on the internets is that Magnus has re-signed with TNA. (Grammar check: He didn’t resign with TNA. That would mean he was under contract to TNA and decided he no longer wanted to be there. Rather, he re-signed with TNA. To wit, he signed with TNA once more. You’re welcome.) Apparently it is a two year deal. I have not seen a dollar figure reported for the contract, mainly because for some reason TNA considers that privileged information to be locked up tighter than the non-existent gold at Fort Knox. But I digress.

And I’m about to do it again in this paragraph, too. What a fucking idiot. This was the perfect chance for Magnus to escape. Leave TNA far far behind and sign with WWE. I was talking about this with Jeremy earlier today. He thinks the pay would have been the same for him there. I argued that it would be a combination of things – WWE would slightly lowball him, plus he would have to pay out of pocket more expenses, due to the more extensive travel schedule and such.

But you know what? It’s fucking worth it. Because TNA is a sinking ship, going nowhere, and WWE is where it’s at, as far as American professional wrestling goes. So take less money, do a short stint in the developmental leagues, even though you know you’re above it. They’re just testing you to see how you take to it. They want to gauge your attitude as much as your talent. Take it with a smile, and it will be brief.

Because the upside is tremendous. WWE could take a guy like Magnus, who looks like a star, has charisma, has enough talent to get by, and they could really turn him into a standout main event player for years to come. And with much more exposure from their USA Network shows than TNA could possibly hope to get, being out-rated by some thruway divas show. Point is, the money would take care of itself.

So you have to wonder. Does Dixie Carter hold something over these poor guys? Samoa Joe compromised his entire future to stay in TNA. He means absolutely nothing in TNA, has been used and discarded basically, and it now not even young enough to say, well at least the future might hold something. He missed his window completely, continually re-signing with TNA despite complaining loudly at various intervals about how they were using him and the overall direction of the company. He is an idiot.

And so it goes with Magnus as well. This was his chance to take a step to the next level. He is 26 years old. When this contract expires he will be 28. Tick tick tick tick… – Dusty

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