Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Jeremy & Eric, May 3, 2011

L to R: Randy Orton, Hornswoggle, a hanger-on and John Cena, enjoying lunch.

Eric: OK, just read the Smackdown spoilers and  I can’t say I’m surprised and here are my initial thoughts.

Eric: One, for those dolts out there who still use the term “transitional champion” incorrectly, that’s exactly what Christian was. They knew Edge was leaving, they wanted to get the belt on Randy Orton, and they used Christian to transition the belt from one to the other.

Eric: Two, even the most diehard, Brood-loving, five-second-posing Christian fan had to see this coming. With John Cena as champ on Raw, leaving the belt on Christian for Smackdown would have been like keeping an extra world title on Hacksaw Duggan or the Big Boss Man in 1990.

Jeremy: Kevin and I talked about this and I pointed out it didn’t seem like Christian earned it. Sure he has been around forever but he was given the title so they could avoid the headache of Alberto having it on raw with the WWE title.  McMahon has never held him in high regard. He returned, redebuted whatever on ECW with no fanfare. Someone held in high regard doesn’t do that.  He hasn’t been treated as a top player, um, ever.

Eric: Well here’s one of the tricks with Alberto: He’s not over at world-title level yet, but he could be. So giving him a belt now seems forced, too.

Jeremy: Having Alberto beat Christian would have tainted his first title victory.

Eric: But giving him a belt just to take it immediately away would tarnish him when he can’t afford to be tarnished and when he’s worth more than that in the future.

Eric: So does this confirm that Christian will never be more than the No. 2 babyface on a roster?
Jeremy: I am wondering if he is going heel. That will have to wait until Friday though to see how he reacts after the loss.  Would they pull another R-Truth?” I have no issue with the title swap but I don’t like the timing Even if they did a three way match with the others then have the winner go to the next PPV. See if Christian has an ability to sell tickets and PPV buys.

Eric: Doing that and testing that water would at least allow them to rationalize a turn, a promotion, or a demotion.

Eric: But
A) When do they rationalize anything, they’re so impulsive.
B) That would be “too Raw,” having a three-way with Orton, Henry and Khali to see who gets a shot at Christian.
C) They get the shock factor here.
D) Randy Orton is “tried and true.” (Although seriously, what buyrate or house has he ever drawn? None.)

Jeremy: Agree on the Orton but then we see the merchandise he sells. So guarantee the champ on house shows sell some t-shirts. But I am not going to be outraged Christian lost the title. I remember Mick Foley saying he had no issues with his one day title reign nor should Christian. He got a title and then lost it.

Jeremy: Christian just doesn’t have the look of a main-eventer for WWE as well.

Eric: Not really. He’s a 37-year-old who still looks 20, so he’ll never have that authoritative veteran look to his face. He’s not particularly well-built, he just kinda looks like a dude.

Jeremy: Yeah he looks like a bicyclist. And if his name isn’t Lance Armstrong no one gives a shit about Bicyclists

Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Dusty and Eric, April 20, 2011

One of these things is very fucking plainly not like the other...

Dusty: ‬I’m smoking three packs of cigarettes at a time right now and I have a question to ask you.

Eric: Hahaha! If I can understand it through all the hacking and coughing, then yes.

Dusty: What? Fuck you man, smoking is rad. Anyway, ‬I always run old wrestling angles by Becky to see what she thinks of them from a logical perspective or whatever‬. I was telling her about the whole NWO and I think we talked about this before, but she thought it was stupid for them to think they could take over the entire company, and that they should have just been like, we’re talking all of your guys belts, since we’re better wrestlers than you.

Eric: ‬Hmmm‬…

Dusty: ‬So the NWO should have been five guys, one for each title, and all WWF guys except for one big turn‬.

Eric: ‬Interesting.

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Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Jeremy and Eric, April 18, 2011

ric flair eating

"Hehehe, you guys are nuts."

Eric: So R-Truth getting a title shot in a three-way has to be a slight on John Morrison, right?

Eric: I mean, Cena vs. Miz vs. Morrison makes sense.

Eric: Miz ganged up on against his hated rival and his former partner.

Eric: Morrison is the up-and-coming star who won (and HAD) a match at WrestleMania.

Eric: And then he pulled the Trish Stratus stuff.

Eric: Yank Morrison out of the plans and take away a) the prestige of the title shot and b) the payday of a PPV main event.

Jeremy: Oh, you got that right.

Eric: But R-Truth?? That’s the slappiest of slaps in the face.

Jeremy: Could have been Santino or Kozlov for that matter.

Eric: Yeah, at least Santino is over, and Kozlov had a feud with Undertaker for a cup of perestroika.

Eric: Who is R-Truth?

Eric: (Saying that always makes me think of that Ric Flair clip on YouTube: “What is TNA?”)

Jeremy: Wow, what happened to Flair?

Jeremy: He looks like garbage compared to just a few years ago.

Eric: Yeah, and a few years ago he looked like garbage compared to a few years before that.

Eric: He doesn’t age… he’s more like a Chinese nesting doll.

Eric: Every three years he sheds his skin, and an older, creepier guy comes out.

Eric: Soon it’ll be George Burns.

Jeremy: 3 of the four guys on this panel are in TNA. All listening to Flair bag TNA.

Jeremy: Awesome.

Eric: Bunch of marks 🙂

Jeremy: Yeah, but they getting a paycheck.

Jeremy: Foley is collecting checks for no work.

Jeremy: How nice is that?

Eric: Very.

Jeremy: TAZ has the hardest job of the three. Sit there and call absolute garbage next to a guy that can’t call matches.

Eric: Be home more often, collect paychecks from suckers.

Jeremy: Flair at least gets to perform.

Jeremy: If you are a veteran wrestler that WWE just simply doesn’t want, then TNA is a great place to go.

Jeremy: Dixie gives you a bunch of money, you “perform” 5 nights a month, and you don’t have to go on the road.

Jeremy: Unless you wanna hawk $20 eight-by-tens.

Eric: What if you’re an entitled asshole like John Morrison? Do you leave the mothership and act like you’re gonna change the world with your Parkour stylings in the lesser wrestling company?

Jeremy: Of course you do cause you are aloof.

Jeremy: You think you will make a difference and make things better for TNA.

Jeremy: Then you can stick it to Vince, who has already forgotten your work.

Eric: Haha, yep.

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