Stunt Granny Audio #251

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

Jeremy & Kevin are back for another fun filled edition of the Stunt Granny Audio. They start off by talking about children because Baby Momma Drama still has children’s stuff in Kevin’s condo. Jeremy makes quick mention of the fine establishments that he got his engagement pictures snapped at. They move on to the breaking news that the “stars” of “Big World, Little People” are on a hiatus from their marriage. How many short jokes can they make in a couple of minutes? Jeremy & Kevin finally get around to talking wrestling and they start with the big news of the week, Daniel Bryan. Why did Kevin have a problem with how the Authority reacted to the #OccupyRaw movement. Jeremy wonders if the segment would have been helped out by not having Bryan have to focus his wrath on both Stephanie McMahon and HHH. How would you like to get on Stephanie’s bad side in real life with that scream? Everyone is assuming that HHH will lose to Daniel Bryan. What do the guys speculate would happen if HHH put himself over? How would he celebrate the victory? Who would be taking pictures of the stunned crowd? How would the crowd react for the rest of Wrestlemania, Raw & Smackdown? Kevin changes his tune about the planning for matches at Wrestlemania. What match on Wikipedia is a stretch to be considered a main event match? It won’t be a stretch for you to click on the link below to find out the answers to these questions and more.

Stunt Granny Audio #220

The Shield

Thanks to the Stunt Granny photography department aka “The Woman”

Stunt Granny is back with another edition of the Stunt Granny Audio! The guys actually talk wrestling for a change because Kevin attended Monday Night Raw. Dusty joins him and asks an important question. After noting that the crowd was much larger than the one in November, Dusty asked “What do you think caused the jump in attendance? What is different?” Which piece of the puzzle had more new shirts at this Raw than anyone expect for the standard bearers like John Cena, CM Punk, Randy Orton and Sheamus? Part of the change in attendance is Kevin’s fellow Kent State Alumni Dolph Ziggler. Did he get a crowd boost because he was near his old stomping grounds in Kent? Does Dusty again with Kevin about Dolph’s ability to sell? The third pillar in this attendance equation is Fandango but what happened to his fancy entrance? How good of a dancer is Fandango? The last part of the change equation is The Shield. How easily can Kevin point out the obvious about Roman Reigns when he walked past his row to the ring? Does Dusty make an inappropriate joke? Kevin wraps up Raw Live by talking about his usual habit of people watching. Would turning John Cena heel work from a merchandising stand point? What kind of a cross section did Kevin sit in? Dusty had one last question for Kevin, what the hell is up with Ring of Honor? Find out that and more when you click the link below!

Site Update- Wedding Bells

The site here is going to be a bit slow over the next few days as we are all in Iowa to celebrate Eric’s wedding. Yes, someone was dumb enough to say yes to his proposal. Of course none of us have actually seen his fiancee in anything but pictures. Eric is rather handy with the Photoshop so is it really that far fetched that he stalked some woman’s Facebook page and cut himself in to her pictures? They have pictures of cats with sniper rifles that appear real after all.

Look all I am trying to say is that we could possibly have been duped and this is some sort of ritualistic suicide ceremony disguised as a wedding. Shit, all that money wasted when I  could have just killed myself at home. Ya know, so the parents would find me. -Jeremy

The 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas: Day 1 – Ric Flair still can’t keep his finances straight

Minutes later, Flair was asking the lottery photographer for an advance on a paycheck he'd be getting in a half hour.

(For the 12 days leading up to Christmas, Stunt Granny will relive with you the 12 most head-slapping, dipshitty stories of 2011, the things that made us wonder why we still watch professional wrestling and support some of these dingbats. Let’s begin with the 1,700-time world champion, beloved unconditionally and irrevocably by all – named Mark Madden – and a guy willing to give you the shirt off his back, for about $6,000 and a ride to the courthouse… Ric Flair!)

(Originally posted January 26, 2011) According to Prowrestling.net, Ric Flair has his mind on his money and his money on his mind. During TNA’s UK tour, Flair asked TNA’s tour manager for a “draw,” or an advance on his paycheck, and when the request was denied, Flair stormed off and went home. You may recall stories from Flair’s WWE Hall of Fame acceptance speech that started the same way, with him asking Arnold Skaaland for a draw. But those stories continued with him getting the draw and spending it all, and the stories ended with Flair in financial ruin with a trail of failed marriages behind him. So stomp your feet and pout if you will, Nature Boy, but TNA may have just kept an alimony payment in your pocket. Now go feverishly scratch some lottery tickets, you hillbilly at heart. -Eric

Linda Hogan says Hulk banged Brutus Beefcake. Um, what?

Linda Hogan is a horrible bitch. Let’s just get this out of the way now. She literally did nothing with her life but sit around and be Hulk Hogan’s wife. Then she alleges abuse, depression, fear, bullying, blah, blah, blah. So she writes a book, “Wrestling the Hulk” and it tanks. So clearly she is desperate for attention and the appearances on Opie & Anthony and The Today Show have dried up. So what does she do, she goes on as a guest for the “Matty P’s Radio Happy Hour”.

On the show she says her source of “a little bird” told her that Hulk Hogan fucked Brutus Beefcake.  She was asked about The Ultimate Warrior’s comments on her being passed around to different wrestlers and she said she doesn’t know the Ultimate Warrior nor does she know his real name. She then went on to say she thought he was gay.

Clearly this hag has issues with gay people. She is trying to demonize people for their sexual preference. She is seemingly a true old school wrestler. If you are gay that makes you bad.

Here’s the real issue with all of this speculation; Brutus Beefcake isn’t good looking. If you are Hulk Hogan and you want to have sex with a male friend of yours why Brutus? Is he that much of a yes man you know he is an easy lay? Even then, couldn’t you find someone way more appealing that wanted the story to say they had some sort of contact with Hogan’s donger? -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Big 11 (Or So) Week Ending 4/9/11

1. Bill DeMott- Who would have ever thought Bill DeMott would make the top of any list? But with his star-making showing on “Tough Enough,” DeMott has found himself one of the most retweeted wrestlers on Twitter. Nicknames for “TE” kids like “Skidmarks” and phrases like “green as goose shit” have endeared the former Gen. Hugh G. Rection to a whole new audience. -Eric

2. Michelle Deighton- How this bottom-rung “Tough Enough” contestant ever made it onto “America’s Next Top Model” is beyond me; she’s uglier than sin on Sunday. But to be true, she’s also married to a guy who’s famous for being on “Survivor”… except by now when you tell people that (“He was Jonny Fairplay on ‘Survivor'”) the most frequent response is, “I don’t remember.” -Eric

3. Sheamus- What a shitty WrestleMania weekend this guy had: got fed to Sin Cara upon his debut, saw his match against Daniel Bryan bumped from the main WrestleMania card, and had to meet Stunt Granny’s Jeremy Maes at a train station. (Something tells me this isn’t the first time “Jeremy Maes” and “train” have been in the same sentence.) -Eric

4. TNA- This company is the pits. I tried once again to watch Impact and it is impossible to get through without forwarding the dvr, or vcr if you are a caveman. Suppose I should be specific here; Anderson swerve; Winters mind control of Angelina Love; Audio Sweetenr on a crowd of maybe 1,000 people; Daniels jobbing his first night back……enough, whatever. –Jeremy

5. WWE All-Stars- This game sucks. I rented it instead of throwing down $59.99 on it. Boy oh boy what a good decision. There is no strategy. All you do is punch and kick then try to lock up. The voice over work is crap as it sound like it was recorded on an Emachine laptop then balanced with dental floss. It is pure garbage.  –Jeremy

6.  WWE Undercard- It’s that time of year. So everyone should be on high alert. If it is Friday afternoon and your caller id comes up as Triple H, Paul L, Johnny Ace, WWE Corporate, or whatever you have programmed in your cell phone; don’t answer the phone and show up Monday or Tuesday for work. Treat it like business as usual. -Jeremy

7. Sin Cara – Coolest entrance ever. I don’t care if he clipped his toes upon entry into the ring. I’d never seen his work in Mexico so this one was a surprise to me. He’s got some crazy hops. I can’t wait to see that athleticism in the ring. -Kevin

8. Rock vs. John Cena at Wrestlemania 28 – These two did do a pretty good job of ribbing each other up to Wrestlemania 27. They bent to accept want has to be acknowledged like Cena’s work ethic and Rock’s dislike of Cena. This match up should be a titanic one, so long as neither of them goes down with an injury within the next 12 months. Have fun sailing the choppy seas of the WWE grind, John Cena. Or the placid seas of movie stardom, Rock. -Kevin

Merry Stunt Granny Christmas!

What you’re looking at here is, from National Geographic, a mama elephant was getting a drink at a watering hole when she was attacked by an alligator. The alligator latched itself onto mama’s trunk and hung on as mama basically dragged it out of the water and down the path. This picture captures the baby elephant making the save for mama, dropping what appears to be a textbook elbow drop on the unsuspecting alligator.

I post this because elephants make me happy, elbow drops make me happy, and people should be happy on Christmas.

Stunt Granny Mascot

Stunt Granny is definitely going to Atlanta.

My good friend Sir Kenneth got me a Christmas present. It is “Stunt Granny” which is a “radio controlled Stunt Granny with turbo function; includes ramp and supermarket stunt props.” I’m just going to give you a taste of what this bad mama jama looks like. More shenanigans with the new official mascot of our site will be added to the Stunt Granny Forum, which is free so just click on the link grand kids. – Kevin

Our new mascot still in the box.

TNA Likes Spending Money

We've got quite a Situation on our hands.

From Meltzer:

Jenni Farley, “JWoww” from Jersey Shore, is scheduled to appear at the Impact tapings tomorrow for Thursday’s show to do an angle to get Robbie E and Cookie over with “The Shore” gimmick, according to TMZ.

They reported she will receive $15,000 for the appearance.  It’s also reported they are looking for return appearances by her.

I have long since given up on TNA and life in general, but let’s sort this one out real quick. TNA is spending $15,000, no small coin, in order to bring in a “celebrity” who isn’t a celebrity, to get over an angle that has no chance of getting over, even if booked 100 percently properly. This is an unmitigated disaster on so many levels, I don’t even feel like covering all of it.
In other news, I wish TNA was a real live female. I would leave Becky for TNA so fast, it would make your head spin. Goddamn right, man, give me the rich chick who spends money like it carries STDs. I want TNA to flush some of that money down the toilet for me! I’m in massive debt! Help a brother out!
Idea: TNA should debut a grandma character who does stunts to try to impress human crash test dummy (emphasis on dummy) Mick Foley. The Stunt Granny. In order to get her over, they bring me in, world renowned for my work here on StuntGranny.com, to do the stunt angle with her. Count the money. And then give it to me. – Dusty

Introducing the Stunt Granny Hall of Fame!

It's a celebration, bitches!

This day marks the second anniversary of the start up of ye olde Stunt Granny. To celebrate such a momentous occasion, I am pleased to announce the official Stunt Granny Hall of Fame opens today! There will be four official wings therein:

Serious wrestlers: This wing celebrates the lineage that dates back to Frank Gotch and George Hackenschmidt. We’re talking about good workers, high flyers, brawlers, whatever. Serious money drawing, money making talent.

Fun wrestlers: We here at Stunt Granny are big fans of comedy in wrestling, as long as it is done right. For example, a fat white man dancing poorly while claiming to be from deepest, darkest Africa will beat a midget transvestite any day of the week.

Angles: We’re talking about memorable, money drawing angles that inspired you to buy the next PPV, go to the next show in your area, watch the next television show on your favorite cable network, etc. Abortions and miscarriages need not apply.

Matches: We at Stunt Granny don’t give two scoops of Kellogg’s Raisin Fuck if a match was four stars or only three and a quarter stars or whatever. We just know what we like to watch. These are the matches we wear out our Beta, VHS and DVD players to.

Each one of the five of us – me, Jeremy Maes, Eric Nelson, Kevin DiFrango, Jordan Smith – nominated five people or things per category. And then we voted on them. A nominee needed three or more “yes” votes in order to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. What follows will be four separate posts, one for each wing, listing the first annual inductees into each wing of the Hall. Before I get to that, I’d like to remind you that the Stunt Granny Hall of Fame is brought to you by Red Baron frozen pizza, which just so happens to be the best frozen pizza that could possibly happen. Perhaps you should enjoy a slice today, while reading about the inductees. – Dusty

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