Shahid’s Blog: Cracked Glasses of Nostalgia – An Adult’s Walk Down ECW’s Memory Lane

ecw I remembered being depressed after moving from Philadelphia to Atlantic City during my high school years.  Separated from my family, friend and comfortable surroundings for a dump of a coastal city was a jarring experience.  WWF wasn’t helping either – Friar Ferguson and Beverly Bros/Money Inc main event matches would turn any smile upside down.  On a random Thursday evening, I stumbled upon a new wrestling promotion.  Gritty, small, loud and realistic, it instantly drew me in.  Regardless of the fact that I was watching a plodding match featuring Tully Blanchard, I was enchanted by the promos, violence and music of what was known as Eastern Championship Wrestling.  I can vividly recall talking to like minded individuals about how ECW was actually real, instead of that scripted crap of the WWF.  Seeing Sandman, a fat drunkard with a cigarette with Woman or Missy Hyatt on his arm just seemed authentic on some visceral level.  Hearing adult promos from Cactus Jack, Steve Austin and Shane Douglas made WCW and WWF seem quaint and childish.  State of the art matches from Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho,  Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit…..violent brawls from the Public Enemy, the Pitbulls, Terry Funk….Sabu vs Taz…Raven terrorizing Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman…..sexy females with scant clothing and even less decorum.  ECW was a teenager’s dream.  Hearing the Gangstas come out to Natural Born Killers to engage in a blood bath made a Bret Hart match seem boring as can be.  I can remember waking up at 1 am to watch an ECW episode consisting of a pissed off Steve Austin just spitting venom at Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes and WCW.  In a pre screw job, pipe bomb, real name era, it was as if someone had a peephole behind the magic rasslin curtain.  By the time they invaded Monday Night Raw to promote their first PPV, I was a full-fledged ECW acolyte.

Now, I’m sure there are many individuals in my age group that share similar joyous memories of ECW.  Even with One Night Stand and a brief resurgence led by Paul Heyman, it still felt hollow and empty, missing that rebellious fire of the 90s.  So when the WWE Network arrived, ECW was the first area delved into, due to an adolescent fondness. Even though it lacked the music and didn’t have the weekly shows, I was excited to see how well it held up.  So I watched a few ppvs and weekly shows and then watched a few more.  I tried jumping around during various time periods, hoping to shake this nagging sensation.  After a week of watching, I had to admit to myself that ECW, like many teenage passions, didn’t age well.

I won’t use revisionist history and proclaim ECW an overrated vanity project and minor league system.  It was enjoyable and revolutionary, and I will always cherish those teenage memories.  But watching it now is borderline painful.  Seeing the Sandman no longer brings feelings of awe and admiration. Now, I witness a slovenly bum who was a perfect example of smoke and mirrors.  Instead of rooting for the underdog story of Mikey Whipreck, I scoffed at the notion that he could ever beat Steve Austin in a match (side note – him pinning Austin killed any notion that ECW wasn’t predetermined).  I can understand the reasoning and logic behind pushing individuals like Tommy Dreamer and Justin Credible, instead of superior talent such as Chris Benoit and Rob Van Dam.  But as a fan today, I have little tolerance of watching Eddie Guerrero in the midcard, for fear of being snatched away by WCW and WWF.  For all of the wonderful long term angles pulled off by ECW, there were too many instances of inconsistent referees, match stipulations, and haphazard PPV’s.  If WWE tried to pull the ol “Let’s announce two matches, and we’ll work out the rest of the details later” style of booking, they would get crucified. I almost forget, they did try that…it was called December to Dismember, and it was universally panned.

The biggest issue with ECW is the same factor which added to its popularity – the extreme violence.  Seeing someone kick out from a power bomb through a flaming table with thumbtacks, only to get rolled up due to seeing the 34DD’s of Francine seems asinine today.  The constant one-upping of finishing moves led to many negative habits, not only by ECW, but by WCW and WWF. WCW was rightfully mocked for taking the piss out of ECW concepts, featuring hardcore matches with cotton candy used as a weapon.  But as an adult, I prefer that approach more so than WWF, which raised the bar to an extremely dangerous level i.e. Hell in a Cell with Undertaker-Mankind, and the myriad TLC matches.  Classic events, but considering the mark left on many of the individuals, something that is watched with trepidation.  But nothing makes me cringe more than the chair shots to the head.  When I first saw Tommy Dreamer plaster Raven square in his hipster face, I remember screaming like a girl at a Bobby Brown concert.  But after current knowledge of concussions and long term damage, I can’t help but cringe. I won’t even touch upon the menace known as New Jack (that’s a column for another day.)

As far as the adult content, what seemed risqué as a teenager comes off as misogynistic and trashy today.  Shane Douglas cussing every 3rd word makes him come off as an uncouth doofus. For every great promo from Raven or Cactus jack, there was some nonsense from the Pitbulls, or some foul mouthed diatribe from Rhino. And it wasn’t restricted to the wrestlers – hearing an arena full of angry men chanting crack whore or she has herpes doesn’t seem cool anymore.  I’m definitely not a prude, and I specifically remember the eye candy of ECW very fondly.  Between Beulah, Missy Hyatt, Woman, Francine and Dawn Marie, ECW definitely upped the sex appeal factor from the almost quaint days of Missy Hyatt and Sunny.  Today – well, seeing a skinny broad with some silicone enhancements taking a pile driver just seems unclean.  Any doubts to ECW being a mainstream entertainment vehicle vanished with my wife’s utter look of disgust after hearing a Dudley Boys promo.  My “it was a different era, baby”  didn’t hold much weight.

Regardless of my experience, I’m very grateful for the opportunity to traverse down memory lane with a more mature point of view.  ECW will always have a fond place in my heart, and I am grateful and cognizant of its effect on professional wrestling.  However, next time someone complains about Vince’s asinine booking and longs for the halcyon days of Paul Heyman, gently remind them that Steve Corino and Justin Credible were ECW World Champions, but Rob Van Dam and Stunning Steve Austin weren’t. And then tape their expressions for YouTube. -Shahid

Get under the covers with Greg “The Hammer” Valentine

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See, because when her weight is up, she looks like Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, and not at all like what she would want you to believe she looks like, which is 1996 Sunny. Such is life. – Dusty

Headlines: Ric Flair’s wife files for separation, Tammy Sytch not reunited and it feels so bad

Since Nineteen Seventy-TWOOOOOO!

According to Prowrestling.net, the wife of WWE Hall of Famer and maybe TNA contracted something-or-other Ric Flair has filed for legal separation. Jacqueline Fliehr is citing “acts of illicit sexual behavior,” claiming the Nature Boy has had sexual relations with many other women while the two were married. More to the story at TMZ.com, but essentially, Ric owes her money as well. Christ, I think he owes me money! This is yet another post where I get to count down the ways why this is all ridiculous and could have been curbed in the first place. 1) Don’t marry a man who’s nickname is the Nature Boy. 2) If you’re about to marry a celebrity, do a fucking Google search on him, because these sorts of skeletons – in this case, a god damn burial ground – will surface. 3) How is Ric Flair, a pudgy 63-year-old thousandaire, still banging multiple women? I mean, he’s in the Carolinas, they probably all look like if Barbara Bush were on “Hoarders,” but still, shocking.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Tammy Sytch, aka Sunny, aka the reason I kept all of my AOL discs, requested that a judge modify a protection order placed on her by her boyfriend, whom she has assaulted numerous times. Sytch stated that she wanted more time to work out their problems. (That’s educated-white-trash-ese for “let me keep slapping the shit out of this guy, Jim Cornette-style.”) Naturally, the judge denied Sytch’s request (read more at TMZ.com), leaving me to wonder, how can I get her phone number to hook her up with Ric Flair while he’s in Waterloo for the National Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions? It’s a match MAAADEINNHEEELLLLLLL! -Eric

Tammy Sytch arrested for the fifth time

Check this out, from TMZ:

Stop us if you’ve heard this one before … former WWE diva Tammy Sytch was just  arrested in Connecticut … her 5th arrest in 4 weeks.

Law enforcement  tells us … Tammy — who wrestled under the name Sunny — was popped in  Branford this afternoon … hours after she was released from jail on Arrest #4.

This time, Tammy was busted for 3rd degree burglary and 3 counts of  violating a protective order.

We broke the story, Sytch was also  arrested yesterday for violating a protective order when she was found passed  out in the home of her ex-BF.

Tammy had also been arrested 3 times in 3  days back in September under similar circumstances.

Tammy is currently  being held without bond and is expected to see a judge in the morning … who  will probably release her so she can get arrested again.

Might as well  go for the double hat trick at this point.

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2012/10/09/ex-wwe-diva-tammy-sytch-5th-arrest/#ixzz28qqJzOWG

So yeah, there’s that. – Dusty

Tammy Sytch, aka Sunny, batting 1.000, arrested three times in three days

“I know you want meeeee” (Courtesy Gerweck.net)

According to Prowrestling.net, former WWF/WWE diva Tammy Sytch, better known to AOL subscribers in 1996 as Sunny, was arrested three times in three days. What is she, from Waterloo or something? (See? Go to hell, Midland, Michigan.) TMZ, who continues to break the most amazing pro wrestling news, says all three arrests are linked to domestic violence. Here’s the Dot Net blurb:

Sytch was originally arrested on Tuesday following an altercation with a man she lives with. She was released the next day and arrested a few hours later on disorderly conduct and strangulation charges involving the same man. She was arrested on Thursday for violating a restraining order for a second time in two days for another incident involving the same man.

Tammy Sytch’s entire life is like the last two minutes of that show “Intervention.” They spend nearly an hour exploring the fucked-up life of some white-trash drug or booze addict, send them off to a tropical rehab resort, show them 60 days later with whiter teeth and smaller bags under their eyes, and send them packing… only to tell us that “12 minutes after arriving home, Candy was arrested for public intoxication and punching a police officer.” Now imagine an “Intervention” marathon. That’s the life of Tammy Sytch. And to think, she was at her post-Candido hottest just two years ago. How the mighty have fallen, probably thanks to a stiff right hand. -Eric

New Jack: Killer For Hire

So yeah, read this:

Have these bitches lost there fucking minds or what? Tammy Sytch from wwe called me this past weekend asked me would I kill her ex boyfriend who is a cop in jersey,because he has abused her and beat the shit outta her for the past 5yrs.I’m sure y’all are finding this hard to believe,just like the other,but please believe it!I have a signing and a show in jersey this weekend and i will be staying at a hotel in jersey for two days,but believe this when I say it…I’M NOT COMING TO JERSEY TO TRY AND KILL A GUY(COP)FOR TAMMY OR NOBODY ELSE…WTF!!!TAMMY,HERE IS A LITTLE WORD OF ADVICE…DO UR OWN GOTDAMN DIRTY WORK YOU CRAZY BITCH!!!PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO HER AND BY THE WAY,THE COPS NAME IS JOHN…CRAZY FUCKING BITCH!!!
 
Okay, deep breath here.  Let’s try to process this information, shall we:
 
1.) New Jack seems decidedly more anti-crazy bitch than anti-cop here, which seems to suggest he is softening.
 
2.) He seems to be saying he doesn’t give a fuck all if the cop actually dies, as long as it is made clear that he is not the one who did the killing. That is admirable.
 
3.) All he can get these days are crazy, past their prime white women. That is because all the black women are like, “Jack, you done lost your whole entire mind, fool!”
 
4.) Drugs are awesome.
 
I got nothing else here, so I’ll leave you with Jack telling Sunny stories. – Dusty
 
SMW 1994,I think it was Rex King…Candido gets in the shower,leaving Tammy and Rex in the living room.Chris exits the show to find Rex,with his dick down Tammy’s throat!oh the is going to get much better..
 
ECW…PPV…NEW ORLEANS…TAMMY SHOW UP HIGH AND WANTING PERCS.STUMBLES UP(LITERALLY)ON 1 OF THE BOYS AND THEY EXIT THE BUILDING,TO ONLY CAUGHT WITH C COCK IN HAND AND MOUTH AND PERCS IN THE OTHER!!!…THIS IS SO FUN…NOW SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT ME…COME ON!!!

WrestleMania 27 Review: The WWE Hall Of Fame

So the Stunt Granny crew went to The Hall of Fame inductions in Atlanta. Turns out the event is actually a pretty good time and it flew by. Who got zero heat at the event? Who got the loudest pop of the evening? Is it possible to silence an entire audience without saying a word? Listen in to find out just why Abdullah The Butcher never uttered a word in his career. Find out why Brad Armstrong should have never uttered a word in his career. Find out how Triple H still manages to be a total d-bag yet humorous enough to endear himself to the Shawn Michaels-sympathetic crowd. Also, who sat next to who, who had hot wives, and so much more, just one click away!

WrestleMania 27- Hall of Fame

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