WWE suspends R-Truth for 30 days, I bet @ValVenisEnt is going to have a conniption fit

R-Truth and Vince McMahon, watching "Robot Chicken" on Adult Swim

According to Prowrestling.net, Ron Killings, aka R-Truth, has been suspended for 30 days for violating the WWE wellness policy, right on the heels of main-eventing WWE Survivor Series and just a few hours after what now appears to be an injury angle, taking Miz’s Skull-Crushing Finale on the top of the stage at Monday Night Raw last night.

Now, I’m not one to cast aspersions on people’s good name, but Killings strikes me as a possible pot head. Kinda like Evan Bourne (who’s in the middle of his own suspension) and Mike Chioda (he was recently suspended, and I just want to think he’s a pot head because he’s a nice guy). Not a guy who destroys his body by using massive amounts of steroids or HGH or other mind-altering performance enhancers or lethal doses of alcohol and muscle relaxers or a shit-ton of coke. Nope, a little bit of weed here and there. Enough to dull the pain of a hard night’s work. And that’s what WWE has been busting guys for lately, pulling some of the most entertaining acts off of TV while forcing upon us ass-heads like Kofi Kingston.

That’s why we get Tweets like this, from Val Venis:

Its 100% hypocritical of @wwe to allow the use of prescribed pain meds which do kill, while suspending talent for marijuana. #legalizeweed

Yes, legalize weed, its good for your grammar. Here’s hoping Kevin never gets his dream job in WWE, and Dusty keeps his spaghetti jacket in the closet. -Eric

Matt Hardy: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

So now you need to read this:

Recently-released TNA wrestler Matt Hardy was rushed to an emergency room in North Carolina on Wednesday after “falling down in his home,” reports TMZ.Hardy was not feeling well, according to sources cited by TMZ, but it’s unclear what caused his fall. The extent of his injuries are “unknown,” but Hardy is expected to be kept overnight and released on Thursday.

On Saturday, Hardy crashed his Convertible into a pipe and tree driving between 55 and 70 MPH, according to a N.C. patrol officer. Hardy was subsequently arrested and charged with Driving While Intoxicated. Hardy was not drinking, according to the officer, but appeared to have taken an “impairing substance.”

Hardy, who was suspended by TNA at the time of his crash, was released from the company shortly after news broke of his arrest.

Hardy’s mug shot following his arrest was released online this week showing Hardy in poor condition with what appeared to be cuts on his forehead.

 
Matt Hardy is going to die very soon. I will not care at all. – Dusty

WWE referee Mike Chioda suspended for wellness policy violation

Mike Chioda

Didn’t see this one coming: According to Prowrestling.net, WWE referee Mike Chioda, who has been with the company since approximately the beginning of time, has been suspended for a violation of the company’s wellness policy. That’s what he gets for not accepting a ride from me and my friend Merz from Veterans Memorial Auditorium in Des Moines over to his hotel. Jack Doan let us give him a ride over there, and on the way he saw some scantily dressed women and yelled out the window, “What’s up, HOES?!?!” No wonder Doan gets to ref the divas matches so often: Respect.

That said, Chioda is easily the best referee in pro wrestling these days and has been for about 5-6 years now. You never know he’s there, but you also see him just enough to know that when he only counts to two, he holds up the devil horns/Texas longhorn sign. Hey, at least Mark Yeaton knows not to touch that goddamn bell; look at all the space between that index finger and that pinky finger! See you in 30 days, broseph. -Eric

Ken Shamrock tests positive for steroids, our banner cries

Nope, not gassing at all.

Nope, not gassing at all.

According to Prowrestling.net, Ken Shamrock tested positive for steroids, earning him a one-year suspension by the California State Athletic Commission. (Quick side note: Jeremy just told me he assumed by the cryptic Dot Net headline that Bobby Lashley was the one who failed the test.)

Honestly, Shamrock, you just turned 45 fucking years old last month. You’ve lost your last 1,700 fights and are being called a “tomato can.” You should have saved your money, dingbat, but nope, you’re still trying to cash in on whatever name you have left (half of which is your brother’s name, at this point, and he’s not going to fight you), and now you can’t even earn a living for the next year. Congratulations, former WWF Intercontinental Champion, have fun cycling under the radar just to get creamed in March 2009. (Quick side note: Ryan Shamrock was HOT.) -Eric

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