Headlines: John Cena MRI shows that he’s a meathead, Chris Jericho to host fighting robot show

Knee injuries (to good-looking women) suck.

According to Prowrestling.net, John Cena had an MRI on the knee he tweaked on WWE Monday Night Raw, and he Tweeted:

MRI was typical good news bad news scenario. I’ve dealt with knee issues for the past few years, I’ll add one more to that list. I know the risks of what can happen to me and I’m willing to play the odds.

So rather than let his body heal, which is for the best in the long run, he’d rather white-knuckle-grasp his top spot as usual. Sure, Dolph Ziggler could benefit in the eyes of traditional fans by working with Cena, but WWE could also let an injury be an injury angle and put some heat on a guy who’s about to lose to Cena on a Z-level pay-per-view. Hell, even Hulk Hogan took a few months off after Earthquake sat on him, and they stretched that feud out from May 1990 to January 1991. </fantasybooking>

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Chris Jericho just landed a gig as the host of the Robot Combat League series on Syfy, debuting February 26. On Twitter, Jericho referred to it as a “major project.” On Stunt Granny, I referred to it as a big turd in the middle of the carpet. But whatever: I guess when my dog takes a shit in the living room, I don’t get paid for it. Go, Jericho, Go! -Eric

HHH In The NFL? Edge joins Twitter. Spike & TNA Make It Official.

Who’s doing quad exercises at the gym tonight?

I was telling my girl about gruesome wrestling injuries the other day. I told her about HHH blowing his quad and seeing it ravel up in his leg on live TV. It turns out I wasn’t the only one thinking about it recently. According to Prowrestling.net, Adam Carriker of the Washington Redskins was thinking about it when he was looking up at the lights of the Edward Jones Dome in St. Louis, his former employer. We wish him a speedy recovery, unlike the dance of joy we did when HHH was injured and couldn’t big foot the roster for a full year.

Adam “Edge” Copeland has joined the ranks of those on Twitter with the handle @EdgeRatedR. We started following him from our @Stuntgranny account. I’m sure he’ll start following us right after we miss his next appearance on Haven or Sanctuary on SyFy. Yes those are real shows on a real cable network. Trust us.

The officials of TNA & Spike TV continue to spin more than either presidential campaign when they talked about the extension of the live programming officially through the end of 2012 by stating

The move to broadcasting LIVE has been a ratings boon and has provided a significant rise in the show’s social media presence on Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Ratings boon huh? Let’s take a gander at the ratings over on Gerweck.net, shall we? They went live on May 31st so the week before that they had a 1.01 which is less than stellar. Then they pulled a 0.9 for the first live show. Hmmm, I’m good at math so I’m positive that rating is going in the negative direction. The following weeks they went from anywhere between 0.85 to 1.09. Maybe I’m concentrating on the first part too much. I bet they’re making tons of money off their Facebook page and Twitter account just like we are. -Kevin

WWE Smackdown to move to SyFy, so it’ll still be on TV, so stop whining

broken tv

Calm down, bucky, Smackdown will still be on the air.

According to the LATimesBlogs.com site (by way of Prowrestling.net), SyFy has bought the rights to air WWE Smackdown and will begin airing the program in October. SyFy (which is owned by NBC Universal, parent company of USA, which airs Monday Night Raw, and NBC, which occasionally airs WWE specials like the Tribute to the Troops and Saturday Night’s Main Event) is reportedly coughing up $30 million for the rights to Smackdown (which will remain on Friday nights). So for those of you armchair watchdogs who fear for WWE when they don’t have a network television presence, stop it, because a) WWE is a business and it just sealed a $30 million deal, and b) its network options were limited and they landed on a cable network that has about as much penetration as MyNetworkTV (yuck). And anyway, c) cable television is way better than network television. Smackdown could have gotten the Jay-Leno-death-knell 10 p.m. ET timeslot, been a terrible lead-in for the 11 o’clock news and then been canceled altogether. Instead, it’s on the same network as “Battlestar Galactica,” one of this past decade’s most revered and touted cable shows (and “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, the greatest megalodon flick since Godzilla vs. Mothra”). So consider us lucky.

(And according to this Dot Net link, the move spells the end for WWE NXT come the new fall season, which is too bad, since NXT was the most interesting program WWE had created in a while. But it at least forces WWE’s hand and gives them a deadline to figure out how to finish the NXT season. Shit, I’m still wondering who raised the briefcase on Steve Austin at King of the Ring 1999, so some finality here would be nice!) -Eric

ECW Gets Replaced With NXT!

Dry those eyes fair readers cause this will make you smile. According to Prowrestling.net, WWE has announced that ECW has been canceled (sad face) and is being replaced with an all new show called….wait for it…..WWE NXT. Yes, the promotion has no vowels and no concept to speak of but it is being marketed straight to douche bags who enjoy butchering the English language for the sake of being hip.

Imagine if you will the meeting with all of creative and this is the best name for the new product they could think of. Was there a deafening silence or overwhelming applause when this name was introduced? Regardless the pillar of cool and hip Vince “MacDaddio” McMahon signed off on this shit name so he is to blame.

Really not sure how this even fits the SYFY brand nam…..never mind. They renamed their perfectly acceptable Sci-Fi Network to the current vowelless trash that makes you even more embarrassed to be watching “Giant Shark versus Giant Squid.”

Now it gets even better, Prowrestling.net is reporting that there is a promotion already using the name NXT. Who knew it would prove so popular? Of course it is in Scotland so does that even matter? Screw the Scots;  they had one good period of history and that was when Braveheart came out on DVD. See, no one gave a shit about that movie when it was released; Academy Awards be damned. -Jeremy

Sci-Fi Name Change Is Gaytarded

nintendonerdlord

Do I look familiar fair maiden?

Over at ProWrestling.net and just about everywhere else, there is a report about The Sci-Fi network, the home of ECW, changing its perfectly good name to the much worse name of SyFy. You know, I called this gaytarded in the headline but that isn’t fair to gay retarded people. For those of you who question their existence I say they exist. How do I know? Well, I once met a retarded kid and he was flaming like a star going supernova.

Anyway, this is a gaytarded name change for any network. Spike TV was bad enough since it means nothing SyFy is just ridiculous. How is this going to reassure the people flipping channels that this is something they may want to stop on? Hell I watch the station and I know exactly what the hell I am getting when I see the name. Now, well, what is on this station? I also realize now that this is one of those rare cases of y being used as a vowel. -Jeremy

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