Stunt Granny Audio #226

Hulk Hogan and Iron Sheik going at it.

Hulk Hogan and Iron Sheik going at it.

It must be that time of the week again. The time when Kevin and Dusty grace all you lovely people with their magical mystical presence. This week our heroes start things off by discussing TNA’s continued roster purge. This week the victims are Luke Gallows and Tara. Gallows’ exit mystifies them but they agree both Tara and Jeremy Maes have seen better days since their Heat stint came and went. They move on to talking about WWE’s latest Monday Night Raw. It was an attack heavy show as the Wyatt Family and The Shield both joined in on all the reindeer games. Just what are the names of the Wyatt family members? Does Mitchell Cool even know? How long is it going to take Mark Henry to actually retire? Dusty sidetracks things twice, first by having a terrible cellular phone and second by asking Kevin if there was anyone who could have replaced Hogan in the big push spot in 1984. They also talk about how there is Sum Tin Wong with journalistic fact checking these days, and a whole lot more, so you need to listen before you spontaneously combust.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #226

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #TNA #ImpactWrestling

repeater_300dpiI’m repeating my weekend travel plans from last week except I’m going for my girl’s grandmother’s 92nd birthday. So in order to clean off the DVR, let’s roll.

I forgot that they were going to be at IUP. James Storm is in the ring. AJ Styles is in the stands. Bad Influence joins them. I do like their sales pitch. Aces & Eights are beating up Storm again. The rest of the people who have been beat up suck. Joseph Park sucks the least. 3D thru the table so he can feel his Abyss roots.

Aces & Eights are still in the ring so that they can suck the energy out of the room. They beat up all of our heroes. Why didn’t they deliver that promo before the break? It was a short promo then you reset after the commercial break. Tazz tried to sound tough before another commercial break. Yep, thanks for making two segments suck instead of one.

Taryn Terrell is fighting Tara. The only thing catching my attention are Tazz & Tenay fighting like sixth graders. Then Tazz notes that ODB is sober. Yep, they let Taryn hang around to get the cheap pin when Tara got cocky. Always a decent way to build up a babyface without hurting the heel. People don’t care.

Rob Terry is taking on Jesse. I feel bad for this crowd. What did they do to deserve this? Robbie E saves Jesse from a pin. Weird spine buster type move for the win by Terry. Woof.

Bad Influence tries to recruit Bobby Roode. We get reruns of Jeff Hardy losing. Good for Chris Sabin coming back. He’s a tough cookie.

Austin Aries confronts Bobby Roode about getting Fortune back together. He makes several good points himself. I guess they’re gunning for the World Tag Team Titles. Chavo & Hernandez have the belts but seem like after thoughts in this match. The baby faces get to take advantage of an arguing team. Wow, Hernandez looked like he may have hurt himself. I’m not surprised. The match has been pretty good as a over all though. Kaz runs interference. Daniels interference back fires. Frog Splash win.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of @ImpactWrestling

Destination

I figured since Final Destination is on Sunday, I may as well do a de facto preview. I’ve got a couple of hours before I go out drinking with my buddy who is in town from Pittsburgh.

Kazarian starts off by call us choads. You deserve the shit you’re given. Bobby Roode cuts a fair enough program but I’m not sure why he’d put this double albatross around his neck. Christopher Daniels is OK at being insincere but I’m just so tired of this feud. AJ Styles is cutting an OK promo too. Still bored. Jeff Hardy & James Storm save Styles who picked a bad fight. They replay Austin Aries, Bully Ray & Hulk Hogan. Aries gets to cut the promo. He’s pushed buttons and wants to push more. I guess he likes video games.

I only looked at the headlines on Dot Net this morning so I know someone debuted or came back tonight. I also know that there’s a new TV Champion. Considering it’s a one on one match, the outcome between Samoa Joe and Devon is pretty easy. The match was cheap. Earl is distracted by a hot blonde. I guess that’s what happens since Madison Rayne left. DOC nails Samoa Joe with a hammer. Devon covers for the win. Brooke Hogan is happy about a contract delivery. Hmm, I’m guessing this is the mystery person.

I’m not shocked that they’re continuing this dumb angle with D’Lo Brown and Al Snow. They’re cool but a match is happening between them, right? Mickie James comes out in a dress. She made a pact to win the Knockouts Champion. Well, duh. Tara interrupts to brag about Jesse. Velvet Sky comes out. Three terrible promos in a row. Robbie E is freaking out about paying his insurance. Robbie T is a smart sophisticated European so he knows how to work an iPad. Why did I choose to review this show again?

That was their big promo before wrestling Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez. I don’t care about this match. Shocking, isn’t it? The Mexicans who were both born in the US take on Joey Ryan & Matt Morgan on Sunday. I’m sure Morgan is thinking it was a great idea to re-sign with TNA. Hernandez didn’t injure Robbie T. Chavo wins with the Frog Splash. Joey Ryan interrupts. Morgan attacks from behind. Big Morgan & Big Organ. I’m just angry now. Nothing gets better when Devon acts like he enjoys the strippers “going lesbian”.

Garrett Bischoff & Wes Brisco have Kurt Angle‘s back. I could like the group if Garrett & Brisco could act at all. Chavo barks all day little doggy while Hernandez tries to look tough. They cut the promo short. Jimminy Cricket.

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Kevin’s Blog: A Day Late & A Dollar Short Review of @ImpactWrestling

It’s been a Kevin heavy week with me attending Raw, actually getting to Prime Wrestling and now having a Friday devoid of my girl I get to do more reviews. TNA has gotten the short end of the stick recently around these parts. So even though I watched a little of it last night, I’m starting fresh for this review.

I didn’t hear much of this James Storm promo last night because Baby Momma Drama wouldn’t stop talking. I didn’t miss much. Not bad but no meat to it. Bobby Roode interrupts. He has much more meat on his end. I like it. I like it even more after their scuffle and him talking Storm into a dumb match. Hulk Hogan talks about AJ Styles’s frustration. Hogan points out that he’s his own worst enemy. So it was his idea to put him into a never ending feud that ended abruptly and was terrible 75% of the time for the last year? I don’t think so.

DOC gets to defend himself. He points out all of the beatings he’s been dishing out. Devon picks someone by dart. I’d whoop his ass in Cricket. Kid Kash gets a shot at the TV Title because he’s on the roster. Not sure the last time I saw him win. RVD is doing the selling early. This match has been terrible. Both of them look at fault for it. RVD with the frog splash. Yawn. Eric Young is talking up his show, except for not using the name. ODB is still horny.  The whole act has lost some momentum.

Kurt Angle talks to Garrett and whoever the other guy is. I watch every week. Wes evidently. No wonder I don’t remember it. Jesse is taking on Young. The ladies are at ring side. EY pays too much attention to ODB whooping on Tara. Jesse catches him with a super stunner for the win.

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TNA’s Tara (aka Victoria) to open pizza restaurant in Chicago; weeks later, CM Punk will sleep with her

Tara, taking orders for a piping hot DDP (Deep Dish Pizza).

According to Prowrestling.net, Lisa Marie Varon, better known as Tara from TNA (and sometimes remembered as WWE’s Victoria) plans to open a pizza restaurant in Chicago and make it her full-time job, while still wrestling for TNA, even at age… 41? Seriously? Read this:

Varon was also asked how much longer she intends to wrestle. “I get the ‘how much longer’ question in every interview nowadays,” she said. “I get it. I’m 41 in an industry where girls breaking in are half my age.

“My perspective is, I feel great, I think I look great, I put on outstanding matches for the fans, I bring out the best in my opponents, and most importantly, I am having a blast.” Read the full story at Chicagotribune.com/entertainment/celebrity/aboutlastnight/chi-lisa-marie-varon-pizza-lincoln-park-20121018,0,7414760.column.

“I think I look great.” Well, I *know* you look great, so rather than worry about that, why don’t you sling me a warm slice. And then let me buy a pizza. (And thanks to Kevin for the reminder: Here’s hoping this business of hers doesn’t mysteriously burn down like the body shop. I’m looking at you, Jeff Hardy.) -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #195

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Late & Half Assed Review of @ImpactWrestling

I need to get stuff off my DVR since I’m traveling to Altoona PA for my nephew’s baptism. Gues who the godfather is? It’s a trifecta, second from the family. It’s late already. Let’s roll.

Sting comes out with serious face on. Sting, temporary GM, calls them out but Austin Aries calls them out. He wants some. You know who else wants some, Kurt Angle? Their trifecta is Bobby Roode. Smart move, he blames James Storm. Storm attacks from behind. The other guys let them fight. Roode claims the attack as proof. Even better.

Tara tells us how awesome Chavo Guerrero. Then Kid Kash. Then Kurt Angle. All blowing some serious smoke. Roode rants and raves about not being believed. Good continuation. Gail Kim & Madison Rayne are taking on Tara & Mickie James. The wrestling is good between Tara, James & Kim. No big surprise. Madison doing a good job in her role. Earl ends up giving Madison the duke because Mickie had her shoulders down but lifted one out of his view. Sting tells Austin Aries to address the X Division and “make some cuts.” Yeah, fire half of them!

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@ImpactWrestling Twitter Compilation & Aftermath

Tweet: We’re now following @REALBully5150 because of another fun exchange between Joseph Park & him. The sentence was long. Park > Abyss. Aftermath: You can follow us @Stuntgranny just in case you’re new to the site. Ray started off slow but his mic work was better with Park in the ring. I’m so happy to not see the Abyss gimmick. It’s such a hacky rip off that just about anything he’d do other than it would be better. Park happens to be a fun, unimposing baby face which doesn’t get used enough.Good segment.

Tweet: Why did the Aries & Hogan feel like they taped in separate studios? Aftermath: They talked past each other because neither of their egos could share the camera. Bad segment.

Tweet: I’m finally getting sucked into this dumb AJ Styles story line. Still not worth the garbage that came before. Aftermath: They interviewed Dixie Carter about the father of Claire’s kid. This material has turned me because it’s very Jerry Springer or Maury with the whole baby daddy material. It’d crack me up with Kaz, Daniels & Styles had to take paternity tests. Good segment.

Tweet: Crimson dropping like a rock. First Morgan, now Devon who in no way needs that win. AJ Lee >>>>>>>>>> Madison Rayne. Aftermath: Devon is a good steady hand. Crimson still needs help. Did I use enough greater than symbols? Bad segment.

Tweet: Sabin didn’t feel real to me. Roode played his part well. Aftermath: I can’t add more.

Tweet: Flip Cassanova is fighting @JohnnyGargano ‘s clone who is related the Demolition Man. Good to see #PRIMEWrestling represent. Aftermath: Flip is still a bit sloppy & caused Dakota Darsow’s likely broken nose. Flip does look like’s he’s improved even with the problems.

Tweet: Glad that Tenay & Taz explained Gail Kim’s clause like it was a hostage situation. They call the match fine right after. Tweet #2: Why did the champ just get the sucker finisher then pin? Tara doesn’t need to look that strong. Aftermath: It felt like Al Qaeda dropped in thirty seconds then left. Bad match for the ladies which was made worse by Tara hitting the Widow’s Peak then letting Tessmacher hit her finisher too. Gail shouldn’t be getting her comeuppance the week before a title match. Bad segment.

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Tara is getting naked in Penthouse? Please be true.

It has been a long time since a wrestling Diva/Knockout has gotten naked but according to her Twitter account the wait may be over. Yes, after years of anticipation it sure seems like Tara or better known from her WWE days as Victoria, may be stripping down. This is speculation of course but she is being coy on her account .

Be sure to pick the newest edition of Penthouse to see your favorite knockout, Tara. Hubba Hubba

Considering she has stated in the past that she would gladly pose for Playboy it is possible she will disrobe. Let’s save the balloons and streamers for when the magazine actually comes out though. This reeks of being none other than a trick to get us to buy the magazine only to find it is just some stupid interview about her body shop or her abbreviated stint training for an MMA career.

Regardless, we should all be on the lookout as this could be a dream come true. Yes this comes about five years too late but once you have a dream why should you ever let it go right? Besides it is Penthouse so there is a good chance she is pissing on an ice sculpture of Poseidon and really, lets hope so.

Oh yeah, notice I didn’t say look out for the magazine because who buys fucking glossy pages of pictures when you have Google image search? -Jeremy

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Jeff Hardy's shirt reminds me of Impressionist paintings. This one is Sunrise by Monet, who is a favorite of mine.

James Storm is distraught over not winning the TNA Title. I’m not the biggest fan of this happening. They do make things work. I thought Bobby Roode would have been dropping the title too soon, which I don’t think I’d said in my previous reviews. I still think Storm should have won but they gave him a nice out by having him practically won. Roode comes out to gloat. I’m digging the new hair cut. It fits a suit better. Roode says he has no opponents left which brings out Mr. Anderson. Roode tells him to get to the back of the pack. Jeff Hardy hobbles out. He thinks he deserves a title shot. Him & Anderson argue. Hulk Hogan wants all the champs out in the ring later. Hardy will fight Anderson.

Crimson & Bully Ray team against Matt Morgan & Austin Aries. Morgan starts against Crimson. They continue to do the heavy work but Crimson was on offense most of the time. Aries gets the tag and brings the fun to the match. Bully Ray pulls the trunks to win. Garrett Bischoff is sauntering in the back.

Hardy thinks it’s his turn to get the title. Jeff thinks it was a good call by Hogan for the match. Garrett comes out. The crowd is excited for the guys around him but go silent when he starts talking. He thanks AJ Styles, RVD & Anderson along with Aries in the back. Ric Flair interrupts the blow jobs. Flair tells Garrett the truth when he rips his mic work. This story continues. Please kill me. They bleep the Bischoff for Eric. Woof. If you’re going to rip someone else’s mic work, bring something other than your worst. Christopher Daniels was holding evidence about AJ Styles. Double Ugh.

Magnus & Samoa Joe talk to Devon about the champs meeting. Short & pointless. Kurt Angle is taking on AJ Styles. My cable cut out of the match but went to commercial. I didn’t miss much. Styles is in control after the break. Daniels gives AJ whatever is in the mystery envelope. AJ screams “How’d you get this?” Angle rolls up AJ for the win. If it was AJ this whole time, why did you wait to reveal it? Stop continuing story lines that suck. Joseph Park tries to talk to Gunner. Park wants answers. Gunner tells him to ask Bully Ray because they wrestled together last.

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