@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

norweigan-curling-pants

From money.cnn.com

Dixie Carter and Magnus complained about MVP who came out with Samoa Joe.  I couldn’t concentrate on the promos because of the hideous outfit of Rockstar Spud. You can go crazy with design and still look good. Those pants above are a perfect example. Plus, I watch entirely too much curling during the Olympics and needed to find a way to put this picture on the site. Gunner was an idiot for telling Magnus in advance when he’d take advantage of his briefcase. The end result of all the wrangling was Gunner having to put his brief case up against EC3, who has to put his briefcase, that is for the tag team championships, up too. After five minutes of a match, Magnus comes down to interfere so James Storm evens the odds. Then MVP comes back out and makes it a tag team match for the briefcases. Now if you just had a give and take for match stipulations to start the show, why didn’t Dixie counter this change? Will she get a unilateral change later? Gunner ends up taking down the briefcases which makes the most sense. They seem to want to have a break out star in Gunner so he needs the win to retain thre World Title opportunity. It seemed entirely too short of a match because of the stakes.

– I’ve got to say I like MVP as a character so far in his very short time in TNA. He’s still got it on the mic. It won’t make a cent of difference in the long run if they keep him in flummoxing stories like above. The Bromans get a match against The Wolves, Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards, and a mystery opponent. I FF to find out simply because I’m behind. Samoa Joe is their partner. I get the significance of having Joe the partner of his friends from ROH but shouldn’t they be featured by themselves for their first in ring appearance in TNA? Doesn’t seem like a hard thing to accomplish. Make it a non-title match with Robbie E & Jesse. Zema Ion tapped to the Rear Naked Choke. Again, shouldn’t the Wolves get the victory here? I know Joe is going for the title but it’s all the more reason to not have him in the match!

Dixie Carter got her unilateral decision by upholding the Velvet Sky versus Chris Sabin match. Because that’s a fair match up. Ugh. MVP gets berated by Rockstar Spud so MVP schedules a match against him. Huh? Why didn’t you save Velvet then? I’m so confused. I liked MVP’s mic skills but again the story makes no sense so it won’t help. Abyss calls out Eric Young. I’m disappointed that Abyss is walking away after developing his character so much. Realize you’re a combination of the two characters and we’ve got a nice mix.

– My favorite part of the MVP versus Rockstar Spud match was when Mike Tenay tried to make it sound like he had called MVP’s matches before. Taz politely corrected him. I’m not sure how he pulled that off but it was perfect. Best thing Taz has done in a long time.

– We get it, Bobby Roode is turning face. In my best Wade Keller voice: Does he have to intimidate a woman though? I haven’t seen any spoilers so the Willow character is Jeff Hardy, right? Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky have their match. TNA decided to invest in another large woman who can’t wrestle. Yep, spending money more wisely after getting rid of Hulk Hogan, AJ Styles and those other schlubs. Bring in new schlubs. That’s the answer.

– Just as I start to type about not being interested in the main event involving Mr. Anderson and Bully Ray, the crowd started chanting “This is awesome.” Jeremy & I talked about it on the audio this week, the athleticism shown on WWE TV these days is through the roof. This match showed none of that. Even the “extreme” aspects seemed plodding to me. Then just to cap off this awful match, Ken Anderson Mic Checks Bully Ray into the casket out of the blue for the victory. Bully Ray had just been stomping the tar out of him. How does that type of finish resolve a blood feud? You need a defining win. They also decided to air another skit with MVP and Dixie Carter fighting for power. We didn’t need it, it served no purpose and a blood feud main event match really could have used another five minutes of beating the hell out of each other. Jiminy cricket. – Kevin

News You Can Use: @ImpactWrestling Makes My Head Explode

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From Troll.me

I’m not going to follow Jeremy’s lead and erase TNA’s Impact Wrestling off my DVR. I probably should but then again when they serve you these mind bending events, you’ve got to stay tuned in. Let’s start off with the seemingly innocuous news that Jay Bradley and Wes Brisco were let go. Neither were valuable talents so you just chalk it up to TNA’s recent purge off a large roster. Which is down to 36 wrestlers with an additional 6 announcers and “Rampage” Jackson and King Mo Lawal who combined are their version of Brock Lesnar? They’re not that kind of a draw but I’m sure that was TNA’s thinking. TNA had also shed AJ Styles, Hulk Hogan and numerous other lesser talents recently.

Dixie Carter HintTNA is finally doing what we’ve suggested for years until I read this post from Prowrestling.net, Dixie Carter left a hints for new talents coming to TNA. Incredibly, she got her initial tease to be retweeted 1000. They used to enough people on the roster to get to that number, but not on this slimmed down version. After that, she revealed a clue. What you see to the right is what she decided to go with, initials. I love my mother, but last year when she left a clue for our family vacation it literally spelled out what we were doing. Dixie Carter just did the same exact thing, except I don’t love her so she’s not getting a pass. Come to think of it neither did my mom. She could have easily left a picture of a pair of wolves which would have accomplished the same task, been just as obvious but it at least would have been a more visually appealing tease. If you really wanted to tease through social media, I would have taken to Instagram (Or Vine) for a short howl video.

The tease isn’t what made my head explode though. If you just got rid of AJ Styles, why are you bring in Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards? They’re three very similar wrestlers, short, well built and quality wrestlers. They also have the same exact same deficiency that will keep AJ Styles out of the WWE, no microphone skills. So what makes Dixie Carter think they’ll be the solution? If they come in as a tag team, TNA’s tag team division is in shambles. They’re not going to have a quality in ring program with the Bromans. The American Wolves vs The Usos, The Real Americans, the Wyatts, The Shield, Goldust & Cody Rhodes or hell even 3MB excites me more than a feud with the Bromans. If they come in as singles wrestlers, what do they do? The X Division is a joke. It’s Chris Sabin and Austin Aries when he wants a shot at the World Title. Not exactly a hot bed of activity.

So good luck to TNA and the American Wolves on their new found union. May it last as long as an deer after a successful hunt. Or more than likely, this union will stink just like when vultures come to do their clean up work. – Kevin

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