#TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Mid-Season Finale & After Show

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We finally got through the Total Diva mid-season finale. The entire episode lacked so much that when they informed us of the return on November 17, I looked at Kevin and said, “No. I can’t do it.” (Kevin’s Edit: Come on, we need a woman’s view on the site. You can’t stop now!) But alas, maybe taking a month and a half off of the show, I could change my mind, but until then, here’s the low down for the mid-season finale along with some brief attention to their 30 minute after show.

Since it’s been awhile since I’ve actually watched the show, I was thankful for their recap of the season so far, but then, it hasn’t been much of a season, so the recap was quick. It’s time for Nattie and TJ to get married. This is what the show was focused on, along with Eva Marie taking over Nikki’s spot since Nikki is out with her injury. (KE: This shows some brilliant WWE logic. Because Nikki can’t accompany her sister to the ring, someone else gets a spot next to Natalya. Alrighty then.)

We can start with Eva Marie and Jojo. This ‘friendship’ couldn’t even last the few episodes they aired. Jojo is upset that Eva Marie is getting all the attention. She attributes it to her bright ‘neon’ red hair and the fact that she has boobs. Sorry Jojo you weren’t gifted with boobs. ( KE: Just buy them like Nikki did. Think of them as an investment.) Though the two end the mid-season with deciding it’s definitely best to NOT live together anymore as Eva Marie can’t put up with her childishness, which again, she’s 19 and Jojo being jealous of all the attention that Eva Marie is getting. But as Jojo does put it ‘it’s a competition’ and I don’t know why Eva Marie thought Jojo should always be ‘in her corner’ as they are vying for the same spot as a Diva Girl.

John Cena ends up having a family reunion the same day as Nattie and TJ’s wedding. Shocked by all, we find out that John has 3 brothers and one brother has a partner. Um, OK, didn’t see that one coming. He invites Nikki to the reunion, thus, Nikki is torn cause she is Nattie’s bestie and how can she not go to Nattie and TJ’s wedding, but alas, John wins and she tells Nattie that she can’t go to the wedding. Nattie’s expression and come back was very classy as she said “This isn’t appropriate to talk about at work and I appreciate you telling me to my face” and walks away. We can all read between those lines. (KE: I understand that Reality TV isn’t real but this was so fake. Cena never has free time but with less than 2 weeks of planning, the Cena’s put together an elaborate, hard to do it only happens once every couple of years party? I’m tossing down my Totally Fake Card down.) Ha ha. Nikki informs us that John’s family is so funny and so great, yet, the entire time at dinner, she looks extremely bored and had the look of not wanting to be there. (KE: So agree with her on this point. She looked to be forcing laughter at what is surely another dick joke that his brother’s partner made while tossing his dinner salad.)

Let’s move on to Nattie’s wedding. It was definitely a wedding you wouldn’t forget. A cat being dressed up in a tux, (KE: That cat is ugly and putting clothes on it doesn’t make it any more cute.) Nattie’s mom making a hideous wedding gown thinking Nattie would wear it (KE: Don’t you consult the bride before doing something like that? Calling Bravo Sierra on this one. Totally Fake Card #2.) and the fact that Jaret actually showed his face at the wedding. I never saw any of TJ’s family. They got married in Florida and though Nattie wanted a beach wedding, it thunder stormed, so it had to be inside. Ariane brought Vincent…say what?! She informs us that he is the best thing that has happened to her and with her career as a WWE Diva, he understands her schedule. Huh. Guess we’ll find out in November if that really works. (KE: If that was a hook for next season, it’s a major fail. If it’s a woman being dumb, I’m not shocked.) Then you have Jaret pulling TJ aside to tell him that he saw Nattie in Calgary, that they have been talking and texting even in Vegas. An upset TJ confronts Nattie, yet we can tell the entire scenario is horribly staged, and she tells him he is the only one for her and then they get married. (KE: Totally Fake Card part 3.)

Their whole reception was horrible and so fake! Nikki calls and talks to Nattie during the reception and they are besties as always. Awwww. (KE: Bravo Sierra. Totally Fake Card #4.)

John takes Nikki out for breakfast, he asks her if she is happy and he then asks her to move in with him in his Florida home since San Diego is too far away and he wants to see her all the time, Um, don’t you travel together constantly? Anyhoo, she says yes to moving in.

Oh, Eva Marie gets to escort Nattie down the walk for her match, making her debut and Nattie gets the pin on Trinity, though I think that was a wedding gift for Nattie as I don’t normally get to see her win much. Ha ha. (KE: Good one.)

I forgot to mention Ariane who called Trinity in a painful panic as she was curled up with pain. After Trinity calls an Ambulance, we find out later that Ariane has Endometriosis. I’ll spare the womanly details, though Kevin was informed what the condition is, and it is extremely painful. Trinity calls Jon on the phone to tell them that Ariane is fine, she tells him it was a ‘womanly problem’ and Jon’s response was, ‘Is it a baby?’ and Trinity in her ‘tude responds ‘It ain’t no baby!’ I love those two. (KE: Favorite couple on the show, hands down.)

That sums up the mid-season finale. I’m sure Kevin will probably add this to the DVR to record on Sunday’s on E! beginning November 17, but whether I can sit and watch another few episodes of this train wreck, is still left out in space. Their preview for next season did not reel me in; so I’m just going to float out there and make a decision closer to ‘go time’.

As for their 30 minute wrap session, good gravy. They didn’t even make that eventful. You had Eva Marie and Jojo yelling at each other because Jojo never even rents a car and Eva Marie is tired of taking care of herself and taking care of Jojo. I do agree, Jojo is 19 and can take care of herself, so not sure what Eva Marie is doing being a ‘mom’ figure. Just leave Jojo alone and let her do her own thing! (KE: Eva Marie is such a dumb bell. You can’t rent a car until you’re 21. At least at Budget. I wouldn’t be able to handle living with a 19 year old.)

They talk to Nattie about Jared and how he helped her with her wrestling career, which TJ said, Jaret is a horrible wrestler and Nattie didn’t get moves from him.

John Cena came out and gave kudos for all the woman on the show, opening up their lives to them. And was extremely quick and firm with ‘NO’ when asked if he was going to ask Nikki to marry him instead of move in with him.

Ariane makes reference to her Endometriosis issue and says we need to tune in, but her and Vincent are still together.

Oh, and Jaret came out and was made to look like a total douche.

Once again, even a 30 minute show couldn’t deliver, but I’m sure they have the numbers to keep on going, because we all know the WWE Universe will make it happen. (KE: This whole after show gets a big massive, Totally Fake Card #5.) – M (& Kevin)

#TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 5

whipped-cream-cartoonFamily. That’s what this episode brushed on this week as Nattie and TJ went to their home town (Kevin’s Edit: Of CALGARY…ALBERTA…CANADA) for a WWE episode. Not only were they in their hometown for WWE but it was Nattie’s birthday. I can’t even emphasize the annoyance of how many times Nattie reminded us it was her birthday, 15 maybe 20 times in a 45 minute show. It got to a point that I thought, enough already! (KE: That was about 14 minutes into the show. Shut up Nattie, we know.) We already know it’s your birthday. But the real kicker was TJ’s mom. Family. Some family is great to have around, other family, maybe not so much. I think what it really boils down to is that TJ’s family, in no way, likes Nattie and it definitely showed in this episode.

So the episode starts off with TJ’s mom calling to let them know she would like them to stay with her when they come to town. Nattie immediately says no. Apparently TJ’s mom has a tiny 1 bedroom house and a King Size bed. Nattie will have to sleep in the same bed with TJ’s mom since she doesn’t believe they should sleep together in her home since they aren’t married. I understand her house her rules, (as I follow the same rule when I go to Kevin’s parents) but sharing a bed w/TJ’s mom, totally not cool at all. (KE: At least you don’t have to sleep with my mom. You get your very own bed lady.) So they get the hotel room and as soon as they are there, TJ’s mom calls and he leaves Nattie at the hotel alone and goes to stay with his mom. OMG! I was floored. Can you say Momma’s boy! After last week’s episode w/this guy and this week’s, I don’t see why she doesn’t dump his sorry ass!

The whole trip Nattie informs us it’s her birthday and much to Nattie’s distaste, TJ never tells her until they are walking out the door of her hotel that they are spending time with his family. I LOVED her look when they went to lunch with TJ, his mom and sister. (Scary!) Anyway, his sister informed them they should see a pre-wedding counselor and when bringing up kids, TJ’s mom made it very clear, they didn’t need to talk about that. We find out that TJ’s mom has been making him hot chocolate with marshmallows, hello, is he 5? They have been spending a lot of time together because family is so important and she looks at Nattie. You can see how angry Nattie is getting and when she tries to quiet TJ, his mom perks up and says ‘don’t ever shush my boy’. (KE: I was at a loss for words. I would have jumped off the cruise ship if my mother and sister acted this way.)

Nattie ends up treating herself (I would too after that lunch) to a spray tan. Though I’m not a fan, she knows the guy that owns it. After a bit of definite flirtation, she leaves with her spray tan for her WWE performance where she loses. After that, TJ picked her up for her ‘special’ birthday dinner, because once again we are reminded it’s her birthday. (KE: I know you’re supposed to remind people of the situation but this was overkill central.) TJ informs her they are having a nice birthday dinner at his sisters. At this point Nattie is fuming mad and even though I don’t like her temper tantrums, I totally believe it was called for. She informs him she is not going to his sisters for dinner and will just stay in her hotel room. Which she did not, because in the next scene she is at dinner with the guy from the spray tan. (KE: He reminded me of a tall Mike Mondo. Or Heidenreich but not quite as ugly.)  He informs her that she is a princess and she should be treated like one and that she should dump TJ…leaving the spot open for him. I give kudos to the guy for saying this to her face. As for what her decision would be, it’s a possible cliff hanger, but we all know, 14 years of TJ, annoying as he is, would she ever think to leave him? Doubtful.

We move onto Brie and Nikki. Brie and Nikki’s Dad left them at the age of 15. You would think that he left them at the age of 2 the way Nikki tells the story. At age 15 you should be able to get through your Daddy issues. But I guess not. After a conversation from John, who once again must be reading from the Tao of Pooh, she decides to set up a meeting with her Dad and bring along Brie and their brother. Right when their dad shows up, Nikki says she wishes she was never there. Interesting, since she is the one that set up the reunion. After a boring display of feelings, everyone at the table decided that it takes time to heal a relationship. (KE: The father had a snappy fedora on. I’m not sure why I was surprised they had another sibling.)

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