TNA Sacrifice PPV Review

Fuck You Bill Gates or whoever created Windows and Audacity.

OK, so Kevin and I recorded an audio since we are both in the same building together. So we , meaning I, bought the PPV and watched the entire thing and had strong opinions. So we drank a bunch and recorded. You know, like men do. Right near the end Audacity, the recording program., takes a stinky crap and we lose everything. It was a good show too. It was full of farts and other types of jokes. It was funny and honest. I guess this is what happens when you combine the both. So, in review, we gave the PPV a slight thumbs down but it wasn’t a suicidal sort of thing. Oh, furthering the review, fuck Audactiy and fuck Windows XP. So, before we leave you we will leave you with a summary for each match we can remember. -Jeremy

Team 3D vs. The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money Inc.

Kevin- Without 3D this match is better than it was. Too bad the Band will shit on MCMG.

Jeremy- Team 3D ruined a perfectly good match. I haste them, not personally but in a ” I never want them on a television show I watch again” way.

ROB TERRY vs. ORLANDO JORDAN

Kevin- This match was all that is wrong about TNA. Bad character development and bad in ring wrestling.
Jeremy- Orlando’s Cirq De Soli entrance was gay. Hey that fits. Oh this match sucked.
KAZ vs. DOUGLAS WILLIAMS
Kevin- Decent match but they should have made Kaz interim champ much like Shane Carwin is interim champ for the UFC Heavyweight Champion. I’m glad Douglas Williams won even if I’m not sold on him or his rant against high flyers.
Jeremy- Doug Williams is boring. I don’t get his appeal.
MADISON RAYNE vs. TARA
Kevin- Madison works out at the same gym as I do. She’s pretty hot in person. I hope she gets more in ring work because she has potential.
Jeremy- Kevin has seen Madison Rayne in the flesh or so he says. Yup, and Masa Chono junior is a cunt for interupting Tara’s goodbye.
SCOTT HALL & KEVIN NASH vs. INK INC.
Kevin- Scott Hall may have eaten Syxx-Pac. He may have shared a leg with Kevin Nash. I love grey chest hair.
Jeremy- Why is Jesse Neal on a PPV instead of Samoa Joe?
ABYSS vs. DESMOND WOLFE
Kevin- Abyss with Chelsea is not as funny as George the Animal Steele with Elizabeth. TNA sucks. Still. I’m sure you’re all surprised.
Jeremy- Desomnd Wolfe could be in WWE. He could be on Smackdown right now in the mid card pushing the bottom of the uppee tier. Instead he jobs to a retard. Good choice moron.
MR. ANDERSON vs. JEFF HARDY
Kevin- Anderson’s assholes is said and chanted yet Taz needs to stop before saying up “Shit” creek without a paddle. Decide what audience you want and stick to your plans.
Jeremy- Good match with a really weird crowd. How can Jeff Hardy not be roundly cheered by everyone. Oh, he’s in TNA.
STING vs. JEFF JARRETT
Kevin- Sting sucks. Jeff Jarrett sucks. At least Jarrett is in good enough shape to take off his shirt and ring jacket. Maybe that’s why he took in the stripper and her kids and not Sting who is jealous.
Jeremy- Why do you start a match after one guy beats the other guy down? It makes no snese and Slick Johnson should should be incinerated immediatly.
ROB VAN DAM vs. A.J. STYLES
Kevin- RVD had an awesome promo before the match. TNA is actually letting him be the old RVD from ECW. Solid match that had way too much Jay Lethal. Woo! Another bad gimmick. Woo! RVD wins because Mike Tenay was smart enough to want to see the in ring action. Thanks for finally being a professional announcer and not reading off a note pad in front of you while the camera has a shot of it. You’re less professional than us. Fuck you Mike Tenay.
Jeremy- Good match and should have been longer. I have nothing bad to say about it other than the ridiculous amount of times RVD played to the crowd was tiresome.

TNA Adds Two More Washouts

Seriousluy? You are paying me?

Seriousluy? You are going to pay me?

 

So for those of you who watched TNA’s Sacrifice PPV last night you may be wondering just who is coming to Impact on Thursday. You know what I am talking about right? Jeremy Borash, he of the famed 1920’s bug eyed reaction shot face, teased us all and then told us to text TNA to find out just who the former world champions will be. It was an exclusive deal for all us who were watching the PPV last night. It sounded like a nice gesture, especially since we paid for the , well, wait a second, some paid for the PPV, and since that hard earned money was not going to be rewarded with their appearance on the show at least we would know before it got posted in message boards all over the internet.

Not being a total rube I just waited it out and much to my surprise TNA has pulled off a shocker in new signings. They have brought in my boo, Victoria, which has already been covered here. They are also bringing in Raven and Shane Douglas. Talk about shocking announcements.

Normally, and as I did just before this, I would rip a company for not giving the paying audience the first shot at seeing debuting people. In this case, they did a good job. Victoria would have been nice but the two duck farts that are returning on Impact didn’t even warrant the hype given for the text service.

Judgment should be reserved until we read the spoilers for the Impact tapings but it is increasingly difficult to believe anything good is going to come of this. Raven and Douglas are nowhere near household names. I guess Shane working in the household section of Target may be something but it isn’t going to help a company with a bloated roster of has beens and never wills. At least Victoria’s signing helps bring a veteran presence to the Knockouts. Raven and Douglas bring nothing. Sure Raven has “the business mind” but he sucks in the ring. He looked horrible in his last appearance and if history teaches us anything it is that wrestlers out of the spotlight come back looking atrocious. Are they going to market XXXXL Raven shirts to cover his gut? –Jeremy

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