Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review #WWE #Raw

BlankIn more ways than one am I drawings a blank. Let’s roll.

Edge kicks off the show. Jerry Lawler looks really odd in a WWE polo. It’s better than his King t-shirts though. Edge is bringing us a “Cutting Edge”.  He is mad about not interviewing Christian. HHH wants him to interview Randy Orton. Edge instead introduces Daniel Bryan. He is enjoying the struggle because there will be satisfaction when he wins. Randy Orton arrives to dispute his unsavory tactics. HHH comes out to defend himself. Edge is getting in some nice shots. HHH in plug mode is what kills me. He shouldn’t be shilling like that if he’s the bad guy. HHH is claiming Edge “Never drew a dime.” Dean Ambrose vs Daniel Bryan is a match tonight. HHH is doing another good job which again goes back to the shilling and approving things like Paul Heyman getting a beat down from CM Punk make no sense. The Christian ransom drop was a weird way to end that segment.

HHH is still making neck jokes. He claims Toronto is his city. HHH tosses Edge from the show. Kofi Kingston has a rematch against Curtis Axel this week. Lucky us. Axel grabs the ropes after this week’s SOS. Axel loses on a DQ. I thought he was getting a win back tonight. Instead we get a lesson point. Axel ends up eating a Trouble In Paradise. This looks way too dire for Heyman. Brock interferes Sunday, right?

Paul Heyman is being carried to the back. He slipped in the hallway. Ha. Nice try to get out of the match. “Heyman is so worried, he might have wet himself” Lawler killed that line. Booker T is giving Big Show advice. This scene is so over the top. He’s not Marsellus Wallace.

Dolph Ziggler is in the ring. We get the long form intro for the Wyatt Family. It appears as if Bray Wyatt is his opponent. Oh, Jeremy told me to correct my article that mentioned the “Ferrari Engine in the body of a tank” and attributed it to Mitchell Cool. He believes that the line was made by the now fired  Cody Rhodes. Fame Asser doesn’t do it for Dolph. Wyatt takes advantage of a distraction. Sister Abigail for the win. Ziggler has got to hate Jack Swagger for punting him in the head. He has to think about murdering him, right? Maybe sleeping with Swagger’s wife? She is a looker.

Catalina White aka Jack Swagger's wife from

Catalina White aka Jack Swagger’s wife from

We get a review of all of Goldust‘s funny antics. Paul Heyman comes out to the ring on crutches. Of course he tries to weasel out of the match. Brad Maddox comes out with the WWE’s doctor. Of course, the bad guy GM is going to play the good guy here like HHH. I could handle the flip flopping if it was in any way consistent. “This is awkward” and boring. The doctor thinks he’s fine. CM Punk comes out with a kendo stick. Paul Heyman bolts. The fake doctor gets to take the beating. The fake letting him out of the routine was funny.

Total Divas Baby Faces have a three way match with Layla El, Alicia Fox & Aksana. AJ Lee’s tattoo is of the date of her Diva’s Title victory. Natalya gets the tap out win. I missed that it was Brie Bella in there. It makes no sense for her to be chummy with them just because of AJ.

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Edge: Absolutely Underappreciated

Edge retiring was one of those “what the hell?” style moments but the signs were all over the place.  In hindsight, of course, his win at WrestleMania should have been a head turner. All signs pointed to Alberto Del Rio winning his first championship and set the mood for the rest of the event. Instead Edge was given one last moment to shine if you will.

Edge had also had a post match speech in Toronto a few months back  telling the crowd he wasn’t sure when or if he would be back again. Yeah he made a small splash on the net but again in hindsight it should have been a bigger deal. Edge is only thirty-seven years old and should have at least four more years in him if you base it off the typical main-event talent in WWE.

The problem with Edge is that he was woefully taken advantage of and thus we all figured he would be available seemingly forever. Kevin said we grew up with Edge and he is right. Edge started during the “Attitude Era” and has been around ever since. WCW soon folded and TNA was never an option so here the fans had a dependable, strong character on television almost all of the time. On top of that he put in good work and his mic abilities grew through out.

Remember the mute Edge? The Brood Edge? The babyface Edge? Remember all the doubters after Edge gave a solid but unspectacular promo at the Raw Tenth Anniversary show? WWE soured on him a bit because of it and that was all from presenting a fake award for a fake awards ceremony. It was at a bar for god sake. You know what else are given out at bars; puke kisses, small tips, herpes, gonorrhea. This has nothing to do with Edge but consider it a public service tip kids.

The best thing that ever happened to Edge was, at the time, the worst possible thing, banging out Lita behind Matt Hardy’s back. Regardless of the waste Matt Hardy has turned in to now that was a rather low thing to do to a self described friend.  He started hitting it with Lita and that made the fans mad at her and in turn it rubbed off on him. This forced him to get stronger on the mic. They had a juicy issue they could get behind even though it was based off of real conflict and real emotions.

Wait, isn’t that what wrestling sort of always does? Only if the talent involved is the right fit. Hell in entertainment for a story to hit on that emotional level you have to have the right people. Imagine Darth Vader played by Meatloaf wearing a biker helmet telling Luke Skywalker played by Gilbert Gottfried he was his father. It fails miserably.  (Why hasn’t then been filmed actually?)

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