Alex Shelley Signs With The WWE. Is Something More In Store?

Over the weekend, Prowrestling.net reported that Alex Shelley was signed by WWE. They thought this would open the door for the WWE to sign other TNA talent such as Matt Morgan who has burned through his dates in TNA and is currently sitting out. That part could be true but there may be something else afoot.

According to my sources though, the WWE is preparing itself to start a cruiser weight program when or if the WWE Network ever gets off the ground. It would explain the alleged signing of Johnny Gargano back in July. The only problem with this theory is that the WWE still doesn’t have a cable carrier for it or a launch date since they pushed it back on April 1st. In fact a WWE Network hasn’t been mentioned at all.

The same sources named another possible addition to the cruiser weight roster and one who is familiar to WWE Tough Enough, Matt Cross. He’d have a built in story line to start off the programming. The WWE could further cherry pick from PRIME Wrestling and nab Bobby Beverly, Bobby Shields and Louis Lyndon. Those three would need some work but the WWE doesn’t have enough talent for that type of division.

In house, they could move Cody Rhodes to a cruiser weights because they’re lost on what to do with him right now. He could even drag along his current feud, Sin Cara. Please, we’re begging you to get him, his mood lighting and his slightly less botch-tacular move set off of our televisions. His former body double, Hunico, could use more TV time too. Just to single out all of the Latino wrestlers all at one time like any good WWE writer, Epico & Primo along with the lovely Rosa Mendes would be fine additions. Yoshi Tatsu could add another level of xenophobia to the division so it isn’t taken up by those dirty Mexicans. Evan Bourne, if he could stop smoking pot like he’s Kevin Smith, could be a force in the division. Justin Gabriel and Michael McGillicutty are the forgotten members of Nexus but they’d fit into the division too. Tyson Kidd got a push for a hot second when the Money In The Bank PPV came around but he could move up a couple of rungs (Wokka wokka) in this type of environment.

Do I trust the WWE to do this much thinking about their programming? Not for a split second. I’d feel great for the hard working guys, especially the ones from PRIME Wrestling, to get some extra exposure and hopefully money that they deserve working for the WWE. -Kevin

Weekend Updates – DX, Bill DeMott and Ted DiBiase

Just in case like myself, you like to disconnect from the internet from time to time, especially on the weekends, here’s a small review of what huge, gigantic, spectacular, who am I kidding, mundane news came across the internet.

According to Prowrestling.net, Bill DeMott has become head trainer for WWE developmental. One would think it’d be great to keep your head trainer on TV with Tough Enough that most of the wrestling community liked, unlike the WWE’s current on air product. From what they’ve shown on TV, he looks like a good trainer so good luck to him and his trainees.

Also from our favorite source of news, Degeneration X will be making an appearance on the 1000th, 3 hour Raw. I feel sleepy even typing that. I could give two shits less. It’ll be more pageantry since Shawn Michaels seems to be sticking to his guns and remaining retired. HHH is saving his big moment to take on Brock Lesnar. So there’s a solid chance he makes a reappearance at this how and interrupts this huge, gigantic, spectacular, who am I trying to kid again, this crappy, done 92 times too many reunion.

One last snippet from Dot Net from this morning, Ted DiBiase (Jr) is going to be back in the ring in about a month. I do love to end an article on some huge, gigantic, spectacular, oh, you get it at this point. -Kevin

WWE Tough Enough winner Andy Leavine released, “Silent Rage” T-shirt production ceases

Jesus, he can't even do "gay cowboy" well.

According to PWInsider.com by way of Prowrestling.net, WWE has released relaunched “Tough Enough” winner Andy Leavine. Raise your hand if you knew Andy Leavine was still under a WWE contract (or if you have good penmanship). I didn’t think so. Leavine had been working for Florida Championship Wrestling under the name Kevin Hackman, which makes sense given two things: 1) WWE’s disposition for giving people the last names of famous actors or their movie characters (see: Ryback), and 2) because Andy Leavine is a hack, and I dare say Steve Austin & Co. made a horrible error naming this future flop the winner of their highly regarded reality series. Good riddance, “Silent Rage,” you make the Equalizer look like Big Van Vader. -Eric

WWE Tough Enough contestant and former Miss USA arrested for DUI, still hotter than breakfast skillet

Oh, she is intoxicating...

According to the Elvis Duran morning show (hey, I carpool with my fiancee), former Miss USA, “WWE Tough Enough” contestant and wrestling-fan spank-bank material Rima Fakih faces DUI charges after a weekend arrest in Detroit, Michigan. Here’s an actual news story:

Fakih initially tried to deny her arrest. At around 5 a.m. Sunday, she Tweeted: “Let’s clear things up now… I’m NOT in Michigan and I’m NOT in jail! Wrong Fakih.”

And since hot girls never lie, her lawyer came along to corroborate oh no he didn’t:

The post has since been removed.

Her attorney, Doraid Elder, confirmed the arrest, but offered few details.

He said Fakih was driving her friend’s car because her friend was intoxicated. Elder said Fakih soon realized she was too intoxicated drunk to drive, and pulled over when police spotted her.

Elder said he did not know what her blood alcohol level was.

Time to spin the wheel and make the deal:

According to TV station WXYZ, Fakih blew a .20 on a breathalyzer. The legal limit in Michigan is .08.

Yeeeah! Get it, girl! A DUI, right? See, Stone Cold Steve Austin, she’s *perfect* for pro wrestling! -Eric

Evan Bourne Suspended? Um, what?

Yup the headline is correct, WWE has suspended Evan Bourne for thirty days for violating the WWE Wellness Policy. Evan joins Andy Levine and Heath Slater as the trifecta of violators in the last two months. Evan took to Twitter last night and had the following statement.

Love you guys! I’ll be back in a flash. AirBoom will not be derailed!

As far as Twitter responses go this isn’t a bad one really. At least he didn’t pontificate on the meaning of a setback being a bump in the path to enlightenment or some other horseshit.

Let’s be honest though. They suspended Heath Slater, Andy Levine and now Evan Bourne. Anyone else feel like this is a deflection device? The policy isn’t solely for performance enhancing drugs of course but there is something fishy here. I offer some photographic help here to make my point. –J

Stunt Granny Audio #160

There's a good reason to follow @maryseOuellet on Twitter. And @iLikeGirlsDaily.

Jeremy and Kevin team up again for your audio delight. They start out by fumbling around the order they’d like to talk about the whole two topics they had on their agenda. The duo starts by talking about the first episode of the new Pro Wrestling Ohio season. Who’s fingers does Jeremy want to cut off? What sets it apart from other season premieres in wrestling? How do Jeremy and Kevin think it relates to old school wrestling and Wrestlemania? They fill everyone in on the back story so even the non-watchers can follow this discussion about booking philosophies. Who does Hobo Joe remind Jeremy of? Is Kevin as hairy as Jason Bane? How do they like the main event six man tag team match that ended the show? They eventually talk about Raw. Are the guys finally defeated in looking for that pay off for a long arc story line? What holes do they poke at HHH’s removal? We think there are some positives about Michael Cole, but does John Laurinitis bring anything to the table? How dumb is the Board of Directors? Who could the next general manager of Raw be if it’s not going to be someone from the McMahon family? Did the lay off for Miz & R Truth pay off? Is a new faction going to form? Jeremy and Kevin end on a positive note but you need to click on the link below to find out what it is.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #160

NBC Buys Dwayne Johnson-Jerry Bruckheimer 1980s Wrestling Drama

We interrupt the Matt Hardy News Network to bring you this press release:

NBC is getting in the ring with a put pilot commitment to a drama about the 1980s professional wrestling boom that is executive produced by one of the biggest ’90s wrestling stars, Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock. The fictional drama set in the world of wrestling in the ’80s hails from Bruckheimer TV, marking a departure from the company’s signature brand of procedurals. It will be written by Brent Fletcher and Seamus Kevin Fahey (Spartacus: Gods of the Arena), who will co-executive produce alongside KristieAnne Reed. Johnson, Bruckheimer and Jonathan Littman are executive producing.

The ’80s, often called “the golden age of wrestling”, marked a surge in the popularity of professional wrestling in the U.S. fueled by the growth of cable television and pay-per-view and the efforts of hot-shot promoters like Vince McMahon. During that period, pro wrestling shifted from a system controlled by numerous regional companies to a system dominated by two nationwide companies: Ted Turner’s World Championship Wrestling and McMahon’s World Wrestling Federation. It featured the launch of WrestleMania and the emergence of wrestling’s first crop of superstars led by Hulk Hugan. The project extends the popularity of period dramas among the broadcast networks, which have two such series, the 1960s-set Pan Am on ABC and The Playboy Club on NBC, premiering this fall. It also expands wrestling’s presence at NBCUniversal. NBC’s sibling network USA carries WWE Raw as well as the revival of WWE Tough Enough. This is the third sale and third put pilot commitment for Bruckheimer TV so far this development season. The company recently set up a Navy SEALs drama at ABC and a procedural about a mom-turned-New York State Trooper at CBS. Fahey previously worked with Bruckheimer TV as a writer on the ABC series The Forgotten.

Hulk Hugan? This is going to be a resounding success. – Dusty

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