Breaking Down AJ Lee Destroying #TotalDivas

From Facebook.com

From Facebook.com

Jeremy:  so watched that AJ segment again. i don;t understand why they did that. They buried a successful show and in process turned the heel champ face

Kevin:  That segment was awesome & bizarre because of the reasons you listed.
Jeremy:  I understand they want to get a feud going and that makes sense but damn. She didn’t say one incorrect thing. Even heels will distort truth but she didn’t.
Kevin:  I do think that’s the odd thing about the show though. For all of its’ vapidness, it’s one of the better reality shows I’ve watched.
That’s not saying a whole lot but it is giving the ladies a personality.
Jeremy:  I am getting a little worn down. Maybe the formula for those shows is set the players, conflict, resolution. They always wrap up their issues instead of long arcs. So it comes off really scripted. They have personalities then go on TV and have completely different ones.
Kevin:  It’s really tough to keep track of the Funkadactyls because they’re the only ones on the show who have different stage names than their real names.
Jeremy:  The thick one is Trinity? The other one is annoying and too skinny.
Kevin:  That is the other funny thing, I know them by their real names but not their stage names. Ariane is the lighter skinned, smaller one. Trinity is the darker skinned, booty having, Uso dating one.
From WWE.com

From WWE.com

Jeremy:  Cameron? Naomi is Trinity? But look, who cares cause, well, Trinity….delicious.
Kevin:  Yes she is.
Jeremy:  Of the women on the show she is about the only one to even consider dating. Natalie would be fine if you liek pushovers.

Kevin:  Nattie would be fine but you’d end up hearing her say “Put it in my Hart Dungeon” and I’d go limp.
Jeremy:  As long as she meant that ass I am fine with it. I do admire how all of the men on the show are doofuses excpet for the main eventers.
Kevin:  Do you consider Jon Uso a main eventer? He seems fairly likeable. Every other guy though is an idiot.
Jeremy:  He has been OK and no chance he is a main eventer, I just meant Cena and Daniel Bryan
Kevin:  I didn’t think he was in that category but had to ask since he’s been fine. Cena has gotten more time or is more vocal than Bryan so he’s turned me more.
Jeremy:  Cena has been the star for me. he steals every scene. Him essentially telling Nikki to slow down was classic.
then he teaches her Chinese as well as giving her essential life lessons that a nine year old could give.
Kevin:  Kind of says something about their parents that they didn’t get a lesson a nine year old should learn
Jeremy:  Part of me hopes this is all a set up and the end of the season she dumps him or he gives bad advice and it all blows up.
Kevin:  She’s not going to break up with him so option 2 is a possibility.
Jeremy:  Yeah I had those backwards. One other important part of the AJ Lee beat down last night and you touched on it in your Raw review is that the Bellas were terrible. I kept commenting how AJ is right there get to walking broads. Instead all they did was screech from ringside. It was embarrassing.
Kevin:  “Come say it to my face.” How fucking dumb. That’s reserved for when they do the promo from satellite or back stage. Hell, even if AJ would have had Big E standing behind her it would have made more sense. But he wasn’t and she was on the damn stage. I about died from laughter when you texted the comment about them skipping after the beat down.

Jeremy:  Yup no Big E
Kevin:  That isn’t even a half assed response. It’s not a response.
Jeremy:  Have to think that was on purpose as well, she’s standing on her own with it. I am not even giving the Bellas a pass even though the other three just stood there.Show some god damn emotion bitches
Kevin:  At least the baby faces looked disgusted and waved their hands at her as in “Get out of here, we’re wrestlers too” so even though it was a weak response, it was a better than the Bellas.
Jeremy:  I am not sure giving the “talk to the hand” motion really qualifies as better. Nattie had somewhat of a smirk on her face but that was about it.

Kevin:  Anything is better than dancing “ring around the posies” style after getting a verbal beat down. It’s not even a good response but it’s better than dancing.
Jeremy:  That was douche chill inducing. Then it made me think of The Bellas interfering in a match using a duck call or something?
Kevin:  I don’t remember that if it happened. Wasn’t quite sure of the Bellas & Eva Marie’s outfit choices but they did stand out and have some style.
Jeremy:  Well Eva Marie will stand out based on her hair and height. Her heels prevented her from skipping which made that scene just awkward.
Kevin:  I wish I would have re-watched it just to catch that. Eva does look like a stork out there compared to the rest of the lot.

Jeremy:  She looked like a Waterpillar out there with the Bellas dancing all over the place
Kevin:  I may have fallen over laughing from the stupidity of it all if she started doing the sprinkler dance as they danced around her.
Jeremy:  It isn’t exactly her fault but she should have been more prepared. I figure they were having a good life or a healthy cringe during that.,
Kevin:  They all should have been more prepared.
Jeremy:  Isn’t the rule of live entertainment “Always be prepared”? I am still chalking it up to a lack of talent.
Kevin:  Yeah, I’m thinking that’s why the WWE isn’t featuring them. The whole division blows.
Kaitlyn deserves better than the usual scorned woman schtick but I’m pretty sure she’s not the next Trish Stratus.
Jeremy:  I was wondering why AJ and Kaitlin were not on the show. Aksana as well, get the international flavor.
From Fanpop.com

From Fanpop.com

Kevin:  How dare you forget about Rosa! But it makes no sense for them not to use the whole division. Rosa, Tamina & Layla, with a possible late arrival of Summer Rae would have gotten all of the division on the show.
Jeremy:  Oh wow. yeah forgot about her, that cast would have made the show so much better.
Kevin:  Only thing I can think of is that they thought too many “characters” would be on the show if they did the whole division.
 Jeremy:  No I meant excuse the entire first cast outside of Trinity of course. I suppose there is always next season.
Kevin:  The WWE doesn’t like to renew shows that are doing well like NXT so this one will probably get cancelled too.
 Jeremy:  Well the ratings dictate a renewal but it is on E! so may be out of their hands.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

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I’m trying to do too much these days. I’m thinking this review will be more half assed than normal. Time to speed thru this puppy.

Randy Orton is fighting Antonio Cesaro. I’m thinking Orton is the new main event guy who puts new talent over. CM Punk comes out irate as he should be. He’s ready to do some party crashing. I remember the days. I have no idea why Vince McMahon can fire Paul Heyman. I’m glad the Miz is the hook for the match. Ugh. Of course even after the commercial break, nothing happens before the commercial break that follows the “beginning” of the match. It wasn’t worth starting a new paragraph.

I’m not even paying attention to the match. Uh oh, ref touching. The Miz allows Orton to hit the RKO. They’re staying the predictable course. The Miz gets to rub it in. I’m “loving” that Mitchell Cool is still on the Miz band wagon. Ryback needs to make us laugh. Stupid.

Even better, Matt Striker is hosting. The Prime Time Players get to be in this show down. Ryback’s joke is appropriate. I still don’t like his finisher. People are loving him though. Matt Striker deserved it. JBL is awesome for laughing at him. That woman in the front row, corner of the entrance is something else.

Wade Barrett gets to choose his opponent. Boy, I wonder why Bo Dallas eliminated him last night? Bo Dallas wins. I’m surprised. That seems pretty weak man. I’m all for the surprise win but it needs to look more flukey than that. John Cena is Cody Rhodes next match.

Cena is on Fruity Pebbles. Thank you Rock. Lawler is still talking about Goldust from last night. Cody Rhodes is leaving. The match was the right length. Cena with an AA. He gets to gab after the match. Cena tries to play the underdog card. He’s coming with an answer though. Of course he’s choosing the Rock or CM Punk. The Shield shows up. JBL calling the stupid card as he should be. Sheamus finally gets off his lazy ass. Ryback makes the real save. Are they actually putting over the Shield? The good guys still look like a bunch of idiots.

Tensai vs Brodus Clay in a lingerie pillow fight match. Thank goodness they begged off. I won’t be watching the Dance Off.

Oh jimminy cricket, Tensai still wore the lingerie. Poor Tensai. I’m laughing at him though. I’d love to see Brodus do a split. My girl likes his top. Clay teaches him to dance. I need more alcohol. Ron Simmons is still awesome. I’m guessing without watching that Alberto Del Rio is in a body slam match with the Big Show.

This is predictable shit. Wow, Big Show freaking out is not predictable. Maybe it shouldn’t be. They’re trying to make Del Rio more of a babyface. Ricardo’s tattoos are all terrible. He needs to get that shit covered up. The crowd isn’t buying it either. I’m enjoying Big Show toying with him.

Kaitlyn is moved into a match with Tamina. This is stupid. Oh, it’s lumber jills with show girl outfits. I like Kaitlyn’s outfit better. Her fashion has been questionable. Cat fight. Woof. Kaitlyn and Tamina stare at each other, kind of. Woof.

The Rock gets his time. Last segment before I deliver the girl back to her abode. Car repairs are a bitch. Thank you CM Punk. The manhood question is always available. I love Punk granting Rock a rematch. Rock’s got no answer on the mic really. The crowd is crushing him though.

Sheamus and Damien Sandow are in some type of a match. I heard it before I left. I don’t care. Ahh, tables match. Thanks for solving that one quickly. I’m glad Sandow is getting in more offense than Rhodes. I like the White Noise thru the table for the win. Figured it’d be a Brogue Kick.

I’m going to FF thru the Great Khali doing karaoke. 3MB makes it interesting. I’m glad Mitchell Cool is apologizing to the WWE Universe as he should be. I feel bad for Zack Ryder. Not sure I can type that enough times. He comes up with a fun character and he gets shit on. He doesn’t even get Heath Slater level TV exposure.

Raw is still Chris Jericho. Dolph Ziggler gets to respond to Jericho who paraded thru his baby face catch phrases. Dog peeing joke. Where’s Steph when you need to poop it up? Vickie Guerrero is back to being a baby face since Dolph is involved. They get to team together against Team Hell No. Kane & Daniel Bryan make it down before a commercial. Kane choke slams Ziggler after a cheap Jericho trick. At least it wasn’t as tedious as most of them. Trish Stratus is a deserving Hall of Fame member. I remember thinking she wasn’t going to be more than arm candy. She showed me way wrong. Hey  Miz, look at her ascent and get out of your rut.

trish stratus yoga.jpg_thumb

Paul Heyman gets to answer to Vince McMahon for the main event. I’m not going to like this. The camera man is a snitch. The godfather moment is kind of funny. Brock Lesnar wakes me up from my coma. OK, good reason for this to be in the main event. I love him just pointing at Heyman. F5. HHH vs Brock is confirmed on TV. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #196

This week it’s a three man booth as Eric, Kevin and Dusty combine their resources to discuss the latest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. While Dusty was the only person on earth who enjoyed Booker T’s commentary, the trio all agree that it is for the best for him to move on to being the general manager on Smackdown. They also talk about just how bad ROH is lately, with their unique brand of fat guys in t-shirts wrestling for belts that mean nothing, and Jim Cornette seemingly losing the magic touch by the day. They also turn their attention to TNA, and agree that it has largely been actually good lately, with one glaring, crack addled elephant in the room preventing perfection. All this and so much more, so spare an hour of your life, because while you probably *will* regret it, they want you to and have mob connections, so you’ll be forced to eventually anyway.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #196

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Smackdown

For Fry The Delivery Guy

After making myself some an excellent Lenten meal (buttered whole wheat noodles with garlic, basil, olive oil, Parmesan and Romano), cleaning up and getting the dogs to zonk out, it’s time to resume another TV review from yours truly. Fry pushed for me to do it for Smackdown more often. I had mostly been drinking too much the last two Fridays to do so. Saturday is usually a busy day with gym, then work then making a large meal to act as lunch the following work week. By the time Sunday rolls around, I feel like it’s too late. It’s almst over as I start this so I won’t play on Twitter but that will make the viewing go slightly quicker. Let’s roll.

Nice little video package for the main event between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton. Sheamus is the first face in the ring. What the hell is up with the blue mood lighting? Is it supposed to make him look less white? I like that he’s comparing himself to Bryan in letting the title going to Bryan’s head. A little wonky. He felt like he wanted to tell an Irish story but he skipped it. Vickie Guerrero interrupts. My boy Dolph Ziggler gets to run down Sheamus before he loses to him. Vickie has to run down Teddy and go with Johnny Wooden GM. She needs to throw her hat in the ring. Make it a three party race. No match, right to commercial. Welcome to Smackdown where you don’t need a hook of some early action before the break.

The GM switcharoo would mean something if they hadn’t been running super shows for nearly a year straight. Mitchell Cool is defending Bryan. Josh & T don’t note the flip flop. Oh, Vickie put her candidacy on Twitter. #CougarInCheif. We’re @Stuntgranny if you were wondering. Vickie put Dolph’s leg on the rope. Dolph has gotten in enough offense. They just gave him another near fall. He has got to be a MITB winner this year. The White Noise. I do like the change in finisher. That looks safer, but weaker. I love to FF thru the many replays. Johnny Wooden GM is looking for an apology from Teddy Long. David Otunga is getting a bit better. Teddy won’t apologize. I want Teddy bad but I know I’ll be disappointed. I will be glad we only have one GM. I’m done with this interim GM stuff with more logic holes than Swiss cheese.

Another replay package. Can’t wait to sit thru these live in a couple of weeks. Heath Slater takes on Santino because the Cobra spit on him. Slater is the new age Barry Horowitz. I love it. That’s all I had to write for that segment. Piccolo.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of #Raw

The Rock is going to explode tonight.

No big surprise that we got a nice recap of John Cena running down the Rock. We get a recap of CM Punk vs  Daniel Bryan. Scott Armstrong still looks like the dumbest referee ever. Chris Jericho comes out after Punk hit the ring. Jericho claims that he never needed to say he was the best in the world. Jericho feeding right into Punk’s wheel house because he honed his craft before getting to the WWE. Glad Punk interrupted. Jericho was droning. Punk is destroying him. Jericho with a nice punch back by saying Punk has never faced anyone like him. The only guy I’d put in that category is John Cena. Dozens of Wrestlemania matches? I don’t think he’s been around for twelve. Might have to look that up later. Punk doing a good job here calling Jericho jealous. Punk stealing Cena’s line about wrestling loyalty.Jericho only came back to embarrass Punk. Too bad jobber to the stars is taking the L at Wrestlemania. Punk stumbling has been his only problem. Jericho stepped up but still was weaker. Daniel Bryan came down with AJ, Johnny Wooden GM & David Otunga. Bryan attacks Punk who was jawing from Johnny. Evidently Teddy wasn’t big enough to get an entrance.

Punk is on offense after the break. The bickering GMs get more TV time than the wrestlers. Jerry Lawler as usual can’t counter Mitchell Cool. I need beer. Bryan takes over after AJ blocks a suicide dive attempt. Another commercial. Ugh. Why is Punk hurt after the top rope elbow? Otunga & Santino cancel each other out. Somehow super Johnny Wooden GM disqualifies Punk for Sheamus throwing Bryan back into the ring. The crowd is going bananas for Teddy. Jericho ambushes Punk as the GMs bicker in the ring. Jericho slams him and slaps on the Walls of Jericho. That segment turned into a clusterfuck.

Really? More replay. I suppose this is what happens when participants in a Wrestlemania match wrestle about as often as the Rock. And commercial again. Those last three words were the only ones I typed before hitting the update button. That’s sad. I should be typing.

Kelly Kelly and Nikki Bella get a cold opening. KK thwarts Twin Magic. Another victory for the Diva’s Division. At least Trish Stratus is doing something in a chat room. Do they normally take this many commercials? Did the opening go that much too long?

John Cena hits the ring for what I hope isn’t a squash match. The Miz has a promo first. Fears are being alleviated. The Miz is Wrestlemania. I don’t mind over selling yourself but that’s a big one. By the way, is anyone surprised they’re saving his appearance for the main event? I didn’t think so. The Miz taking control of the match. Fears are being further dismissed. Of course they ignite as a Five Knuckle Shuffle and an Attitude Adjust seconds later. Oh, it really gets rubbed in with an STF. Ouch. Isn’t that what he did to Miz the first time he tried to climb the ladder. The Rock is warming up in the back. So Rock gets to do some cheesy camera tricks. That was stupid for a variety of reasons.

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Kevin’s Blog: Tough Enough Choice

The WWE had a choice Monday night and it showed the new direction of their company.

The WWE made what some people thought was a surprising choice in making Andy Leavine the first Tough Enough winner of the renewed series. I had a gut feeling along with some other people like our good buddy Travis Bryant (@travlord) over at the PW torch that the choice would be Andy over Luke Robinson.

After watching the show and through Raw, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why he was such an overwhelming choice. Bill DeMott, Trish Stratus and Booker T all picked Andy even though they all noted that it might be a little late for Andy to be really turning it up.

We note endlessly how the WWE likes big guys but Andy at 6′-5″ and 290. He isn’t so big that he’s a shoe in no matter how awful his in ring work is like the Great Khali. I will admit to being surprised that Luke was only 212 pounds when they showed the wrestling clips from FCW. I think CM Punk is small and they list him at 222. I don’t think it helped Luke (as Jeremy helped clarify) that for as in shape as he was, he doesn’t have a big chest or arms. Even though Andy was the bigger of the men, I didn’t think that was the main factor in the decision.

After Raw when I was preparing potato salad for a bachelor party, it hit me the main reason Andy got picked. All through the show, they laced Andy as the good guy and Luke as a party boy. Andy promised his wife he wouldn’t drink while he was away and aside from having a beer with Luke and Steve Austin after getting into the final. Meanwhile, Luke reveled in the party boy image at the beginning of the show. Joey Styles (@JoeyStyles) tweeted after the first episode –

In the Tough Enough house and drinking all night? The booze is a temptation test numbnuts! Train, eat, sleep, repeat and win, balloonheads!

After the roller skating challenge that Trish presented the contestants, regular patrons looked on in disgust as Luke and Jeremiah ground on servers, dancers and anyone else in their sight. Luke made fun of Andy for not drinking after this contest for the first time, if memory serves. When the Divas came visiting, Luke and Jeremiah were at the head of the class in drinking again. They slapped each other in public and made a general scene while Andy kicked back and said to one of the Divas that he had promised his wife that he wouldn’t drink.

The last show really hammered home this point. Andy was shown at home helping his wife clean, taking care of their child, had his wife act as his trainer and they even brought their child to the work out. Meanwhile, Luke’s first image was of him and his friends partying on a boat. Luke said that he wanted to party like a rock star and said that every time he came back home, it was going to be that way. The WWE did show him doing a Brock Lesnar inspired work out video to not make him look completely bad.

In recent years, the WWE has be careful to get rid of anyone who parties because of deteriorating image with so many early deaths. They got rid of Kurt Angle, then Jeff Hardy and his brother Matt for other reasons but one would have to assume that their life style didn’t help the WWE bridge the gap in negotiations or in their willingness to not grant them their release. After the WWE brass saw all of the incidents with Luke, they made up their mind that they didn’t want to hire another PR head ache. The WWE brass wanted Andy, the family man. He fits into their PG mold because he’s going out to make a better living for his family, not party.

After trying to put my finger on why the WWE picked Andy, I had to prepare for a party of my own for it to dawn on me. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Vince McMahon did not look this good in the same colored suit.

So, I’m surprised this drawn out Tough Enough Finale got me sucked in as much as it did. It was completely bogus because they didn’t even show the entire match with Bill DeMott. They were too worried about doing live shots from Raw. Of course my DVR skips 10 seconds while flipping programs from Tough Enough to Raw. I missed what Vince did. How great is it to eat a Stunner on your TV debut? I’d say very. Cole amping up the excitement of the choice was too much. I liked Andy more but he still has work to do to get his personality out. What the hell is R-Truth doing? He gets to explain the outfit. Biggest moment of R Truth’s career being in front of McMahon & Stone Cold. R Truth using history against the crowd. A bit more creative than trashing their sports team. Truth is seceding from the WWE until his Title match. Vince makes it a comedy bit. Miz interrupts. I take a break to see that Boston has taken a 3-0 lead. Maybe they decided getting a winning instead of revenge was a better way to go about things. Don’t worry about the cheap shots. Win games. As I type that, Boston makes it 4-0 so I’m going to stick to reviewing for a while. I think Miz needed to go with lighter pants. the dark purple is too close to black. Alex Riley gets to share the spot light. Not really, Cena hits the ring. Vince made it a comedy, Cena’s going to make it not so funny. He was doing fine until making fun of R Truth. Vince gets to tell Cole to shut up. Another stamp of approval. You’re paying Austin, may as well use him.

Santino takes on McGillicutty. Cole tells me he’s half of the tag champs. Honestly, I had completely forgotten. Vlad looks really strange in blue, with an American flag. Longest Santino match, probably ever. At least on TV.  The crowd is eating up Santino’s offense. Santino gets a big pop for the cobra victory. What is a women’s match starting without a commercial break? I got it now.

The crowd is surprisingly into this match. Beth doing a good job of feeding them.  Rebuilding Phoenix needs to be done before Kharma comes back. Nice showing for Beth.

Booker talks to Trish. He has a secret, a Trisharooni. Swagger needs to be introduced by Trish. Booker giving Swagger a clinic in the promo. Punk goes Indian Style on the stage. He gives Swagger a clinic in promos too and he had less time.

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Stunt Granny Audio Show #140

It’s Dusty and Kevin this time around, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. The two go in depth on this week’s edition of Monday Night Raw. What did they think of Vince McMahon’s patriotic jingoism? What about the Rock taking up like 45 minutes of air time? Surely they had some sort of opinion on that. Is Mason Ryan the next literal big thing, or are they just using him until Dave Asthma comes back? Was this a bad show or a really bad show? The two then shift their focus to talking about Tough Enough and how awesome Steve Austin has been over the last five weeks. If you think good things are good, then you are going to want to listen to this audio.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #140

Stunt Granny Audio #138

Motley Crue definitely approves of R-Truth.

This time around it’s Kevin and Dusty to give you tidings of great audio joy. They start out by critiquing their colleagues Eric and Jeremy with what they got wrong in the previous audio. They talk about the happenings on Raw concerning R-Truth and John Morrison, and how simply cool it is to smoke cigarettes. Who do they think is going to win this season of Tough Enough? Will Rima win it, be the next one eliminated, or somewhere in between? Will Eric Watts get his head out of his ass in time to realize they actually want him to win this thing? Who is Christina? They talk about who might be going to Raw and who might be going to Smackdown in the upcoming WWE draft. They also give an in depth analysis of the drug scene in TNA. All that and so much more, so please listen. And please smoke!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #138

Stunt Granny Audio #137

Oh it’s the “Asshole Edition” of Stunt Granny Audio for your ear buds mother humpers. Eric and Jeremy come at ya and get right in to the problems plaguing this great country. What the hell is with these coupon hoarding weirdos? Why do we placate children when they contribute nothing to anyone? Anyway, they then get around to talking R-Truth and John Morrison. What the hell was going on Monday night anyway? Smoking and water consumption? Who approved that crap? They then turn their focus to Dolph Boring, formerly known as Ziggler. After they are turn expressing their emotions it is on to some Tough Enough talk. There is a lot and it is offensive and fun; just the way you want it.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #137

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