Class Is In Session: #NXT Review 06/19/14

f5 tornado

How many Fs did Chris hand out this week? From crh.noaa.org

This episode begins with a video package covering last week’s main event.

Backstage, Natalya begs JBL for a tag team title match for Tyson Kidd and Sami Zayn. Kind of random but ok.

Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss (w/ Charlotte and Summer Rae)

Bliss seems to be doing a perky, cheerleader gimmick. Dissension between the BFF’s was the story of this match and that story was told well throughout. Both ladies looked good in a short match that was the backdrop for a bigger angle. Bliss got the win with a roll-up after Banks was distracted (imagine that) by a fight on the outside between Summer and Charlotte.The BFFs argued more afterward.

Backstage, Natalya received a less than enthusiastic reaction from Tyson Kidd regarding his tag team championship opportunity and was dumbfounded as to why.

A 1920’s style Vaudeville style video aired hyping the debut of the Vaudevillains Simon Gotch and Aiden English. Not even a chuckle.

Mojo Rawley vs. Garrett Dylan

Dylan rarely gets a chance to shine and Rawley has gotten way too many chances already. Rawley wins with the Hyperdrive and I don’t care in the least.

The Vaudevillains vs. Jason Jordan & Tye Dillinger

Yet another opening match comedy act coming out of the NXT writers’ room and not even a funny one in my opinion. The Vaudevillains use carnival style feats as the majority of their offense. Aiden English won with a middle rope swanton.

Colin Cassidy sings “That’s Amore”. Yep

RVD is interviewed and challenges Adrian Neville to a match. That match will take place next week, non-title.

Tyler Breeze vs. Kalisto

Match starts out at a slow place. This is deliberate as Breeze is slowing down the high flyer with wear down holds. The action picks up as Kalisto begins his comeback. His comeback is short lived as Breeze hits a Beauty Shot out of nowhere for the win. Decent match.

The Ascension vs. Sami Zayn & Tyson Kidd for the NXT Tag Team Championship

The long awaited heel turn has finally arrived for Tyson Kidd. The entire match was the setup for the angle as Kidd never tagged in and Zayn worked the whole match himself. He took a beating most of the way. He made a brief comeback but when he went for the hot tag Kidd jumped off the apron leaving Zayn easy prey for the Fall of Man and The Ascension retained. Ok action, great angle.

Grades

Sasha Banks- She has “mean girl” down pat and is steadily improving in the ring. B-

Alexa Bliss- Decent outing for the gorgeous peppy blonde. Her match was a backdrop for the BFF break-up angle so it was not meant to be a major shining moment for her. B-

Charlotte/Summer Rae- Their angle advanced majorly with good physicality. Both played their roles great. A

Mojo Rawley- F

Garrett Dylan- F

Vaudevillains- F

Jordan/Dillinger- F

Tyler Breeze- Prince Pretty continues to look good enroute to his date with destiny. A-

Kalisto- He was able to show off his high flying moveset this week and looked good in defeat. B+

The Ascension- They’re still not very good but NXT is smart enough to not put them in situations where the can look bad. C+

Tyson Kidd- Tonight for him was all about facial expressions and body language. He excelled at both. A

Sami Zayn- He took his beating like a man and made the Ascension look like world beaters. He did his job and looks forward to a feud where he can live up to his fullest potential. A

Natalya- I’m trying to keep this brief so I won’t rate every person who appeared on this show but she was her usual awful self when doing anything but performing in the ring. Hopefully he joins her hubby on the dark side. F

Overall Show- I enjoyed the forward progression in the two main angles that book ended the show and some of the action was decent, especially Breeze vs. Kalisto. But the middle of the show is becoming a veritable wasteland of green talent with stupid gimmicks. It’s developmental so the former is excusable but the latter is really starting to become a problem and will likely be the subject of my first full-length blog. C

Class Is In Session: #NXT Review

Shadow from slowbuddy.com

Shadow from slowbuddy.com

The show opens with a very good hype video for the Adrian Neville vs.Tyson Kidd rematch. The video focused on Kidd’s attempt to get out of his wife Natalya’s shadow.

Tom Phillips, Alex Riley, and Renee Young are on commentary

Paige, Emma, and Bayley vs. Charlotte, Summer Rae, and Sasha Banks

The baby faces all make separate entrances which makes sense seeing as Emma and Bayley’s acts center around their entrances. There’s a lot of that in NXT. The heels come out together to Charlotte’s music but spent the whole time pushing each other out of the way so they can be the center of attention

The match began with Emma holding her own until the BFFs were able to work the numbers game to their advantage and work her over. Charlotte used the Figure-Four Necklock on Emma as Summer Rae hopped off the apron to take selfies with fans and just generally hog the spotlight. Summer entered the ring and began hogging the match refusing to tag Charlotte back in. Emma was able to use the dissension to her advantage and make the hot tag to Bayley. Bayley ran wild until all six women were in and Bayley ended up winning with a roll-up on a distracted Charlotte.

After the match a replay revealed that Charlotte had kicked Summer out of the ring before being rolled up by Bayley. Decent match that forwarded the BFF break-up storyline.

Backstage, JBL was shown greeting a masked man and signing him to a contract. The masked man said the he “Bo…believed” that he would do well in NXT.

Elsewhere, the BFFs were in the women’s locker room where Charlotte and Sasha were blaming Summer for the loss. Alexa Bliss walked into use a locker but she was stopped by Sasha who told her to leave. Alexa ended up challenging Sasha to a match.

CJ Parker was seen in the audience with another hippie sign. End this gimmick please.

Colin Cassidy vs. Sylvester Lefort (w/ Marcus Louis)

I’ve never seen Lefort wrestle before and I wasn’t missing much. Cassidy is the world’s smallest 7-footer. Nothing match. Cassidy won with swinging side slam into a sitout for the pin.

Backstage, Natalya told Tyson she was going to be in her corner using the word “I” more than anyone intending to be a baby face ever should. I really hope she ends up turning heel  soon because if not the writers, across all shows she’s on, and Natalya herself are tone deaf to how she comes off.

Aiden English was singing before being approached by a man I would later read on the Internet was Simon Gotch. No attempt was made to let viewers know who this man was or why he was there. He never spoke but ended up walking off with a piece of the set. Weird segment and yet another NXT wrestler is being groomed for an opening match “comedy” gimmick. Comedy is in quotes for a reason because I have a pretty dumb sense of humor and this segment didn’t even earn a single chuckle from me.

Sami Zayn vs. Mr. NXT

The crowd obviously knew who Mr. NXT was as they played along with dueling chants of “you can’t fool us”and “yes you can”. Now that was funny. Short match that was more about the Mr. NXT gimmick angle than showing off either man. Zayn would unmask Mr. NXT as (surprise, surprise) Bo Dallas. Zayn hit the Helluva Kick in the corner for the win.

After the match Zayn brought out security to take Bo away who ran around the ring. They finally got a hold of him and were attempting to take him to the campus police office presumably but Dallas broke free and ran around outside scaring the hell out of some students who did not appear to be in on the act at all. Funny stuff.

Adrian Neville vs. Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya) for the NXT Championship

The crowd started on Kidd early with “Nattie’s Husband” chants. Good back-and-forth match that saw both guys play to their strengths. As the match went on Tyson was playing more the heel which allowed Neville to fight from underneath which is where he excels. Kidd threw everything he could at Neville but he kept kicking out. Kidd was finally fed up and went outside to grab a chair but he was stopped by his own wife Natalya. Once again, if Natalya is expected to be considered likeable by these actions them I am at a loss for words. Neville was able to take advantage of the distraction to connect with a superkick and finish Kidd off with the Red Arrow. The show ended with Natalya attempting to console her husband.

Grades

All six women- Everyone performed well in a decent match that was designed to forward the BFFs break-up storyline. B

Colin Cassidy- Just a tall guy with no upside. F

Sylvester Lefort- Lefort is not a good wrestler and needs to stick to managing. F

Aiden English and Simon Gotch- Bad comedy. F

Sami Zayn- Zayn is arguably the best wrestler in NXT but this match was not a showcase for him. He was still very good with what he had to work with. B-

Bo Dallas- Bo was hilarious here allowing himself to play the fool as a good heel who’s been caught cheating the system should. A-

Adrian Neville- A great outing for him here. He played a great babyface in peril and made a great babyface comeback. A

Tyson Kidd- A great outing for him as well as he develops his new heel persona.

Natalya- I HATE HER!!!!! F-

Overall show- Aside from the bad squash and even worse commentary this was a good show featuring a great main event, a great comedic performance from Bo Dallas, and storyline progressing in the Womens Division. B+ – Chris

Class Is In Session: #NXT Review – Takeover

From artfire.com

From artfire.com

The show began with an excellent pre-show hype special hosted by Renee Young, Paul Heyman, and Christian. Christian was just kind of there but the chemistry between Renee and Paul was just off the page. These two have the potential to be the next Heenan/Okerlund if not the next Heenan/Monsoon (the highest level imaginable). Paul was definitely the star of the show as his analysis was spot on especially when establishing the stakes for Tyson Kidd in the main event. The pre-show in general was a hit and the pure sports feel was a welcome change to the clown show that is the Raw pre-show. If you a planning on watching Takeover on demand this week, do not skip over the pre-show as it is required viewing. (Kevin’s Edit: We might be known for publishing material late. This review is no different. We’ll be gunning for a more on time report, hopefully free of computer problems.)

As the pre-show was ending, viewers were treated to the arrival of Adam Rose and his entourage on the Experience bus. They danced their way into the building as the pre-show faded to black.

NXT Takeover began with an excellent historical video package and then went to Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, and William Regal on commentary as Adam Rose and his entourage danced all the way into the arena for our opening match…

Adam Rose vs. Camacho

Rose was back at home at Full Sail University so he was mega over. Camacho has improved but considering how low he began, he still has a long way to go before even being slightly above average in the ring. The match was average at best but the crowd was totally into Rose as their returning cult hero so it was never boring. Rose won a short match with a cravat DDT he calls the Party Foul.

A video feature on Sami Zayn then aired where he spoke of his journey and the importance of his match. Good stuff again.

The Ascension vs. Kalisto (Samuray Del Sol) and El Local (Ricardo Rodriguez) (NXT Tag Team Championship)

This was a short match completely designed to show off the Ascension’s power moves and they were in there with the perfect opponents to do so. Kalisto and Local got very little so I do not know if they have a future together as a team after this. Local still has a bit of a gut on him so his moves were not as fluid as they should have been but the match was not about his team. The Ascension won with the Fall of Man high-low maneuver on Local.

Another very good video feature aired, this time on Tyler Breeze, who tried to get himself over as more than just a pretty face.

Sami Zayn vs. Tyler Breeze

Best match on the show to this point by far. Sami was his usual great self and Breeze kept right up with him to create an exciting back-and-forth match with a lot of moves. There was argument from some pundits (cough Jeremy Maes cough) over whether they did too much in fact. I don’t agree as I believe a lot of leeway should be given to a spotlight match that is designed to get over the next top contender to the Heavyweight Championship. The only spot that was borderline too much was a suplex into a powerbomb from Zayn that got only a 2 count. If they had traded big spots for another 5 minutes then it would have been too much but from there they went right to the finishing sequence which was Zayn attempting his running boot in the corner and Breeze putting his arm up in such a manor that he “accidentally” crotched Zayn. While Zayn was doubled over, Breeze hit him with The Beauty Shot which is a spin kick that I can see the argument for being weak finish to a high impact match. Great match.

Next, Lana and Alexander Rusev came to the ring carrying a Russian flag. After Lana got the obligatory Putin reference out of the way, they were then interrupted by a flag waving Mojo Rawley. He charged at Rusev and was immediately overwhelmed and destroyed him ending the beating with 2 Accolade camel clutches, one in the ring and one on the floor at Lana’s command.

A great piece then aired on the Women’s Championship match focusing on family pride.

Paige arrived to that the Full Sail crown and wish the best of luck to both competitors in the Women’s Championship final.

Charlotte w/ Ric Flair vs. Natalya w/ Bret Hart ( NXT Women’s Championship)

Best match on the show and maybe one of the five greatest North American womens matches of all time. They did a perfect job building the drama of this match both in the ring and outside. This match was a labor of love for those involved and that is always a pleasure to see and that does absolutely translate to the audience in the arena and at home. The match finish came when the ladies were exchanging submission finishers. They did possibly the longest figure-4 reversal spot in history as they rolled from one end of the ring to the other rolling outside with with Charlotte still holding on as the referee counted to 5 for a break. Once back in the Charlotte put Nattie in the Sharpshooter right in Bret’s face. Nattie was able to use her last bit of strength to escape but that was all she had left as she fell prey to Charlotte’s Bow Down To The Queen for the win. After the match everyone exchanged hugs in an emotional scene as both Ric and Charlotte were in tears. The whole thing was phenomenal and worth $9.99 on its own.

Adrian Neville vs. Tyson Kidd (NXT Championship)

Good match but it was not able to come close to the match that preceded it or reach the Zayn/Breeze match either. Following such exciting matches and the loser stigma attached to Kidd probably led to a less excited crown to close the show. To their credit, they used the stigma attached to Kidd as the story of the match and it built well. They got the crowd going again with a hot finishing sequence that saw Neville get the win with the Red Arrow corkscrew splash. After the match, a frustrated Kidd refused to shake Neville’s hand and stormed off.

Grades

Camacho – Improving steadily but still ways to go. Having a gimmick thats a copy of a copy, of copy, of a copy, etc. doesn’t help matters either. Grade: C

Adam Rose – He was in all his glory back at Full Sail but unfortunately they do not film Raw at Full Sail every week. The jury is still out as to whether his niche cult following can translate to big arenas across the world. That is also an issue with other cult NXT acts (see Emma). His in-ring was nothing special either which might be concerning for someone who spent so long in developmental. Grade: C+

The Ascension – Still a couple of green muscleheads without a lot of upside in my opinion. They were at their best tossing about smaller wrestlers here but they won’t always be in situations so specifically designed for them. Grade: C

Kalisto and Local – They didn’t get the opportunity to show much here and Local showed that he still hasn’t gotten the message about his physique. If this is the lowest weight he can naturally cut down to then all involved really need to think about his in-ring future. Grade: D-

Sami Zayn – What more can be said? He is a tremendously gifted performer who I’ve never seen in a bad match. Tonight his job was to get another man over while still keeping himself just as over as he came in and he did that in spades. Grade: A

Tyler Breeze – Breeze had a lot to prove here and I believe he succeeded in surpassing even the most optimistic expectations. He proved that he can go with the best and he is ready to challenge for the NXT Championship. Grade: A

Rusev/Lana – Basic stuff from them but I noticed an intensity from Rusev that has been missing on Raw and I am interested in seeing more that from him. Grade: B-

Mojo Rawley – I don’t get the Hype Man. He does nothing for me and him doing a low rent Jim Duggan impersonation was especially horrible. Grade: F

Natalya – I’m going to preface this by saying that I am not a Nattie fan at all. There is something about the way she carries herself, both in the ring and on Total Divas, that just makes her unlikeable to me. I won’t say much more than that because I’m not looking to take over the mantle as Stunt Granny’s resident “angry white man” (cough Jeremy Maes cough). That all out of the way; what a brilliant performance by Natalya here. She was the glue that held this match together and I don’t know if there is any other WWE Diva who could have lead Charlotte to that amazing of a match so early in her career. Grade: A+

Charlotte – She will be the most athletic diva of all time and in 5 years she will be the one leading the next great female athlete through her first great match. This show was much about her as anyone and she delivered a great performance beyond her years pro. Grade: A

Adrian Neville – He had a lot to follow so this was not a showcase night for him. He still put on a very good performance and was able to get an exhausted crowd back up one more time with his big moves in the homestretch. That is an accomplishment in its own right. Grade: B+

Tyson Kidd – This was a big night for him and, while I can’t say he blew me away, he performed well. The Tyson Kidd persona, as it stands, is damaged goods. But the guy is a talented performer and there may be potential for him as a heel if he can channel his legitimate professional frustrations into a new persona. A run as a Paul Heyman Guy could work for him (watch the post-show for more on this featuring a masterful performance from Heyman stirring things up between husband and wife). Grade: B

Overall Show – A fantastic show on all fronts. A show with 2 great matches, one very good match, great production, good announcing, and nothing offensive  gets a very high recommendation. Watch this show! Overall Grade: A – Chris

#TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 4

hawaii-beach-homesoahu

The April 20th episode was definitely an episode I didn’t think I’d witness. I actually felt like it was a bit more heartwarming than any other episode that they have filmed, though, it could be because Summer Rae wasn’t in the show at all which totally helps and there wasn’t any drama at all. Granted, there were still some completely ridiculous scenes which involved Nattie and TJ, but other than that, I actually felt for the first time the Diva’s really are normal people with everyday issues, in which you can semi-relate to on a woman’s level, so I’m sure any guy watching the episode was like, this was a stupid chick show since there wasn’t much boobs and skankiness showing up. (Kevin’s Edit: Just imagine me moving my head up and down.)

We’ll begin with Nattie and TJ as it’s the most ridiculous part of the show. So Ariane and Nikki find out that Nattie doesn’t know what Doggie Style is. Nattie get’s pretty flustered at trying to get around it but in the end, Ariane calls her sex therapist to see if she can help for Nattie and TJ. (Kevin’s Edit: I had forgotten about Ariane’s repression since she’s been hard to find this season outside of the Eva Marie pics.) Nattie says she is to busy to go see her, so she comes to their house. Upon questions about their sex life, she asks how they first got together, Nattie doesn’t seem to remember but TJ remembers the moments, really? (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t remember when I first said “I love you” to the lady. No way he remembers that.) So the sex therapist says they need to ‘sex up’ the house. She tells them different role playing to do in the different areas of the house and awkwardly suggests they leave the front door open to have sex in their entry way. (Kevin’s Edit: I suggested it in more open places.) Nattie of course declines this idea. Nattie does think this could work as Ariane and Vincent do seem to be happier since seeing the therapist. So, as we get to see in the ‘black and white footage’, Nattie has TJ be a burglar and Nattie dresses as a skanky school girl and she has TJ break into the house through an open window. I laughed out loud at this one, good gravy!(Kevin’s Edit: It was killing me she used an old outfit from a WWE shoot.)

Eva Marie hasn’t been feeling well. I feel like this story line pops up when they aren’t sure what to put into the show. Well, this time, Eva Marie’s husband, insert name I forget here (Kevin’s Edit: You think I remember this tool bag’s name?), rushes her to the hospital as she says her stomach is huge and she looks about 6 months pregnant and is peeing blood. I have to say, that is not a good sign. The doctor says she has a cyst that ruptured. I am going to wonder about this as I’ve had numerous cysts and they rupture when you have your period, they don’t normally make you pee blood. The swelling in her stomach is extra fluid, and then on a private call from the doctor (HIPPA restricted) we find out that Eva Marie has an abnormal uterus and may never be able to have kids. Eva freaks out thinking her husband is going to go nuts cause he wants lots of kids. She finally tells him and breaks down. I actually have to give the schmuck credit in this episode for being very understanding. (Kevin’s Edit: I know I called him a tool above but he didn’t make the switch to non-meat head until helping her out as much as he did.) The worst thing a woman can be told is that she won’t be able to have kids, if she wants them. I don’t see Eva Marie as a ‘mom’ but who knows down the line. So Eva’s husband calls her Mom and her mom is really ‘frosty’ on the phone throwing it back in Eva’s face that she deserted her family to be with her husband, but then her mom says they will fly out. So her parents come, this time they don’t hide his stuff, and the parents and her husband find a truce and the dad and schmuck embrace, which is totally camera acted. (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE knows when to end feuds people don’t give a care about.) It’s hard to say what is real and what is fiction in this story line, but I felt most of it was really true. Would I want to share that on TV? No way! But I guess some people don’t mind airing their laundry for a buck.

Trinity and Jon decide it’s time to get married. They have been together for 5 years and engaged for 2. Trinity really wants Jon’s dad to be there, so at Old School Raw, they approach Rikishi after his match and they tell him that they are getting married in Maui in a few days and want him to be there. After a weird silence, he starts to get emotional and blames it on the match and then says he is so happy and will be there. This makes Trinity very happy as she wants the entire family on both sides there. They rent this gorgeous place on the beach where they will stay and have the ceremony. The night before the wedding Jon’s dad is still not there. Trinity starts asking if she’s the reason he’s not coming. Jon is very quiet and then finally tells her ‘no’ it’s because he got another gig and decided to do that instead. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m just throwing this out there because I haven’t heard an official statement from Rikishi but when you don’t attend your son’s wedding because he’s marrying a black woman, it means your a racist. White people aren’t the only ones who can be racist.) Ouch! There was talk of if he wasn’t coming because Trinity is not Samoan, but Jon says that is not the case. Jey is there with them and this is the 1st time I’ve ever heard him talk but he has some very kind and encouraging words for Jon and Trinity which is very sweet. The wedding day comes, no Rikishi, Trinity’s dad cries and Trinity looks gorgeous. Jon and Trinity are both moved by the ceremony (which I don’t think is something you can just fake) and they are now married. As they walked down the aisle as man and wife the chant of I say Uce you say O going on which was silly but fun.(Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t stop laughing that of all people the Usos could be close to, it was Drew McIntyre who I think started the chant. The guy is even a tool off camera. The Usos need to pick friends that are further up the WWE food chain now that they won the tag titles.)

In the end, the show was pretty good, probably one of the better episodes I’ve seen since this show aired, but I’m sure it definitely won’t last long as I’m sure Summer Rae is getting ready for a come back at some point to add drama and nauseating skankiness to the show. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 3

I love to read. I read because I’m able to escape from the everyday routine of life and get absorbed into either a thrilling storyline filled with lots of adventure and intrigue or I get engrossed in a storyline filled with lots of laugh out loud humor and peppy characters. (Kevin’s Edit: Lady, I provide laugh out loud humor every day of the week for you.) When I think of reality TV, I think of, terrible acting, mundane story lines, and just eh TV. This is exactly what Total Diva’s brought this week. Half way through I contemplated turning off the show and just pretending to finish the article with how I thought the show should end, but alas, I watched a completely boring 42 minute episode in which I wish I could have been reading.

This episode was all about Nattie, Nikki and Trinity. I think slutty Summer Rae only had a minute in the show along with Eva Marie.

We’ll start with Trinity this time around. To no shock at all, Trinity has made a pop song and was filming a music video. Not surprised since Cameron already did a song and Trinity’s dad is a musician. The song is complete and it’s now time to film the video, but her outfit isn’t done. She get’s so upset because the rhinestones aren’t on the back of the outfit yet, that she takes her 1 piece rhinestone suit and says she will finish it herself. Well, she called in her Uncles and they managed to pull an all nighter and got it done. (Kevin’s Edit: Trinity mentioned that she had been up for nearly 2 days when filming the video. I stayed up 70 straight hours to finish a project in school then had to wait several hours for a once a week evening class that I was determined to get to. When I went to dinner before the class, I attacked my hoagie with a spork. My then girlfriend sent me home. That was a good plan.) While shooting the video, it ripped. Unsalvageable. Then, to make matters worse, the Police show up because there is confusion with the permit. Now the director is upset and is trying to get this finished! Alas, like every TV show, everything ends happily. Brodus hears the song and says he wants to send it to his contacts, and name drops Snoop Dog. Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: I must not have informed my lady that Brodus was one of Snoop’s body guards.)

Our next  Diva is Nikki. We find out in this episode that she is now a real estate agent. Huh. I would never have seen that coming. Anyway, she gets the opportunity to show a home with a fabulous ocean view. She calls John and tells him how fabulous the view is and how much she loves the house. It was definitely an awkward showing and the people left. (Kevin’s Blog: I’m not surprised she was terrible. The WWE has never shown faith in their mic skills. Looks hot twins!) John comes to visit and all of a sudden he’s being mysterious and lying about where he is and taking abrupt phone calls and on the computer and quickly closes it when Nikki walks in. She obviously thinks he’s having an affair. All I can think about is, is she really that stupid? Can they make it any more obvious? So Nikki calls him out on his supposed cheating, he doesn’t deny it. She goes to show her house again that she is truly in love with, John shows up and we find out all the sneaking around is him moving funds so he can buy her the house and he will move to California. I’m pretty sick of these 2 already because it’s stupid how she loves a house so much that he just buys is for her. Is he going to buy her EVERYTHING that she says she loves? (Kevin’s Blog: You know you’re still with me because I’m your Sugar Daddy.)

Nattie is our final diva this week. In the previous episode Summer Rae hit her across the face and now Nattie has to have surgery on her nose that will make her be out of work for 6 months for healing time. She tells Summer Rae, who she faced first after finding out the news, to stay away from her face during their match. Summer Rae doesn’t, Nattie gets pissed and kicks Summer Rae’s butt in the ring. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m positive I have told her wrestling is fake.) She decides she isn’t going to give up the TLC match, so she takes the chance of hurting her nose even more. TJ explains that it’s better to take care of yourself and all will be OK, but she doesn’t listen and takes on the match and causes more of a problem for her face. (Kevin’s Edit: Nattie toughed out another Diva’s Title loss.)

I’m not sure if I missed something or not, but as you can tell by the short recap, it was a very dull and uninspiring show. Could the WWE make it more interesting? Yes. Will they? No. Because why would they try to showcase the hard work the Diva’s put in when they can just put them in skimpy outfits, give them terrible scripts to pretend to be real about and create as much drama as possible so more people will tune in. It’s amazing how much they are making off of this disaster. All I can say is, Total Diva’s will never be readable material, and I bet sometime soon, the WWE will come out with some kind of Diva book and they will make another crap load of money off another dull project.

One more episode to go to be caught up. When is this series over? I can only keep my fingers crossed it will be very soon! (Kevin’s Edit: Hoping thi show goes away is akin to me hoping Raw stops being 3 hours. It’s not happening.) – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Season 2 – Episodes 1 & 2

From mbpopart.com

From mbpopart.com

Tonight I have witnessed a train wreck. I felt so dirty, I had to take a shower when the show was over. I’m pretty sure I no longer have a working brain due to all the stupidity that arose from the episode. Due to too much on the dvr, we have decided to do She said He edited at different times to get different reactions. When I told my boyfriend all my brain cells died with this episode he laughed and said it would all be OK. (Kevin’s Edit: I laughed because you were being funny. I hope it translates into the article.) He has yet to watch the episode, so after he does he will understand my disbelief that they actually air this crap and that 4 million people actually take the time to watch it. (Kevin’s Edit: I gave her bad math. It was only 1.39 million people that watched it. I’m sure she won’t feel much better about my error.)

I can only write about the current episode that I watched as I am 3 weeks behind. But will quickly recap in each article. JoJo is gone and skanky Summer Rae is now on the show. I’m not sure who is worse. Summer Rae or Eva Marie. It’s like watching a bad porno with that fake blond hair and god awful red dye job. It was made obvious in the 1st few episodes that no one was going to like Summer Rae and she was placed on the show to make more drama for everyone, so I’ll save her for last. (Kevin’s Edit: More drama = more eyes.)

We’ll start with Eva Marie since the season ended with her and she was getting married, maybe, to her loser boyfriend. Well, no surprise here, but she did and did not inform her family. Her family came for a visit and she moved her husband out so there would be no trace of him. Huh, interesting way to start a marriage. Well, the family figured it out, they were pissed, but yet, who is calling the kettle black here since her brothers are living with women and are not married. So that just kinda ended. (Kevin’s Edit: I found her calling out her brothers hilarious. That subject did get dropped awfully quick.) Then photos popped up from back in the day and Eva Marie said those were a mistake and should have never been done. Creepy Fandango made a weird comment to her that made my skin crawl. In this past episode, Eva Marie and Summer Rae have become besties and are traveling separate from everyone on the bus because of the photo incident and because no one likes Summer Rae. She was the one that told Eva Marie about the photos. Even though Eva Marie thinks Summer Rae stepped over the line in episode 2 with Brie, they will still probably continue being besties for at least a while.

Nikki and John Cena got back together on the pier. It wasn’t as cheesy as the very first episode when they tried to reenact a scene from The Notebook, but who walks down a pier in high heeled shoes, a skin tight red dress with boobs popping out and a fur? Oh, Nikki Bella, that’s right. So John said he made mistakes and that he wants to try a lot harder. Nikki forgave him and all is well with the world. So far. Nikki did lose a tooth in an episode and she thought she looked hideous so refused to ride in the bus with John and tried to avoid him. Not the best decision when your relationship is on the line. In this past episode Nikki tried to be the support for Brie as Summer Rae made a play for Daniel Bryan, Brie’s then fiance. (Kevin’s Edit: She just asked him a really weird question about getting his approval. She didn’t seem to be coming on to Bryan to me. I do want to know who she slept with.)

Speaking of Brie, she thought it would be a great idea to rent a bus, like Nikki and John have and have everyone ride with them to split the cost. Bryan was not enthused with this idea as he is an environmentalist and those busses take up a LOT of gas and energy. But Brie got her wish and TJ/Nattie, Jon Uso/Trinity, Summer Rae, Eva Marie and Ariane all rode on the bus with Brie and Bryan. (Kevin’s Edit: She got her wish because those other people were brought onto the bus to make it more “Green”.) Bryan made a few ‘house’ rules, no sex on the bus and no pooping on the bus. Well, both of these rules were broken as Nattie pooped on the bus and John Uso/Trinity almost got it on on the bus, it was broken up by Brie. Brie, the most sensible I think out of the group, ends up blowing her top this time around when Bryan tells her that Summer Rae sought him out and told him that she cares what he thinks, then made a flirtatious movement touching him. Because Nikki told her what Summer Rae did with John and some of the other male wrestlers, (hearsay of inappropriate comments), Brie went nuts and hunted down Summer Rae. Brie pretty much told her to never pull someone’s man aside alone and told her to stay away from Bryan. Summer Rae accused Brie of being insecure in her relationship, which caused Brie to go nuts and told Summer Rae pretty much that she is a skanky ho. Touche! All the while Bryan, Eva Marie and Nikki listening. Eva Marie agreed that Summer Rae crossed a line. Bryan told Brie that she is very protective of her man. (Kevin’s Edit: It’s pretty bad when Eva Marie is the voice of reason.)

You don’t have much going on with Ariane in the past few episodes. She was the one that found the photos of Eva Marie and showed them to everyone. She did try to apologize but Eva Marie has yet to accept her apology. I do think Ariane has a point, Eva Marie is very good at making it all about her and how fabulous she is getting the covers on magazine and getting a Mattel doll so early in her career. Ariane’s beef is that she got a cover too but no one seems to care. (Kevin’s Edit: Eva Marie does seem like a spot light hog but Ariane is the other drama queen who got trumped by Summer Rae. I’m surprised every guy hasn’t looked for skanky photos of (insert new Diva here) because there’s a 90% chance they exist.)

We find out that John Uso has a huge sex drive in this episode and can’t seem to keep it in his pants for 4 days while traveling on the bus. Trinity is OK with adhering to the rules, so she obviously feels bad when the get caught in the act by Brie on the bus.

Nattie has serious issues with Summer Rae. Whether it’s because they are both blonds, I’m not sure, but Nattie seems to despise her. In this episode, Nattie does try to take the high road and tell Summer Rae that she needs to be more respectful to the Diva’s and that she is making a display of all her skankiness. When the new Mattel dolls are out Nattie is thrilled and Summer Rae walks up and tells her that they did a good job at photoshopping her and that she used to look pretty and thin. This obviously upset Nattie who told Summer she needs to cool it. (Kevin’s Edit: Summer Rae is an excellent shit stirrer. I have no idea if all of these actions have led to her not being on TV now.) I think the best part of this past episode is when Nattie goes into the bathroom on the bus and starts screaming. First TJ goes in to the smallest bathroom in the world and comes out, then she calls for Brie. Come to find out, Nattie was putting Icy Hot on her ‘back’ when she got some Icy Hot in her butt and in hoo haa when she went to the bathroom. Where exactly she was putting the icy hot is still in question as she first said back then changed it to inner thigh. Hmmm. Either way, this is when we find out she pooped on the bus and got Icy Hot in her butt. Ha ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: I would imagine that Icy Hot burns similar to when I pooped out Scorpion Peppers.)

I leave the most skanky and the newbie for the end. Summer Rae. Man is she ugly. I thought Eva Marie was unattractive, but I think she has competition with Summer Rae. Summer Rae is a hateful woman who thinks she is better than everyone else. Being Fandango’s dance partner, yet being from NXT, she is now considered a Diva. Well, I see why Layla is now Fandango’s partner as in this past episode Fandango told Summer Rae, he didn’t need drama for his career, and this is exactly what she is doing, stirring drama. (Kevin’s Edit: I obviously don’t read ahead while making these comments. Summer Rae is a butter face but those legs make up for it.)

Summer Rae is the one that told Eva Marie that Ariane had the photos of her. Summer Rae is telling everyone that if Nattie spent more time on her wrestling and less time talking gossip then she may have won the Diva’s championship more than once in her Diva career. (Kevin’s Edit: I agree with Summer that Nattie is her own worst enemy. Just keep mentioning that you’re a Hart and eventually they’ll give me a long title reign, right? Maybe Nattie should work on the promo skills.) Summer Rae believes that she is gorgeous and is upset with her wardrobe and wants to be even sluttier than what she wears with Fandango and Summer Rae made a play at Bryan. (Kevin’s Edit: Have you ever seen a dance competition? All the ladies are dressed slutty.)

So at the end of this train wreck of an episode, Summer Rae hunts down Nattie’s house, goes to the door uninvited and proceeds to tell Nattie that she needs to spend less time gossiping and more time focused on her career. She pretty much tells Nattie that she is an old, fat, unattractive Diva that isn’t worth anyone’s time. Nattie tells Summer Rae she is a ho. Summer Rae slaps her across the face. Nattie pushes her off her property and tells her to NEVER step foot on her property again.

After watching this episode, I needed a sedative. This episode was filled with so much cattiness and egos that I was just dumbfounded that I watched 42 minutes of stupidity. I honestly think that there were more brain cells saved watching Jersey Shore than watching Total Divas, at least this time around. I explained to my boyfriend that it was a cruel punishment for me to watch this show as I could have spent the 42 minutes doing something productive, but he informed me that he was sure I didn’t lose the brain cells that I thought I did and since I was still mobile and mumbling about a train wreck that I would be fine. (Kevin’s Edit: I lose brain cells when I’m researching for my Sippy Time Beer articles, not this show.)

Here’s to 1 Diva Show and article down and 2 more to go to get back on track. I’ve seen the previews for the next episode and no shocker, another train wreck is on the way. Will the WWE one day actually have good writing for the Diva show or will it always be this horrible, guess I’ll just have to tune in and lose a few more brain cells to see.– M (& Kevin)

The @WWE Slammy Awards Are During #Raw Part I

Remember the days a 3 hour Raw weren't standard?

Remember the days a 3 hour Raw weren’t standard?

Breakout Star of the Year – The Wyatt Family, Big E Langston, Fandango and the Shield. We all know that Fandango is thrown into this vote to acknowledge his fleeting moments of fame. Summer Rae is getting front billing these days. Big E Langston has only been hot for the past two months so he is out. The Wyatt Family has been operational for several months now but they have lacked any impact. They abducted Kane, who then left for a month, came back, kicked their asses then changed identities. They had several other consistent attacks but never stuck to them for long. Now they’re in a feud with Daniel Bryan. They are recruiting him but I’m not sure what that would do for either side. So the winners have to be The Shield, even though they started last year at Survivor Series. Tag Title & US Title reigns along with an imminent Roman Reigns push makes them an easy winner.

“This Is Awesome” Moment of the Year – Dolph Ziggler Cashes In Money In The Bank, Daniel Bryan Wins WWE Championship Against Randy Orton at Night of Champions, Big Show Knocks Out HHH and Kofi Kingston Chair Hop To Stave Off Elimination at the Royal Rumble – Kofi Kingston will have a spot on this award for a long time. Fortunately, he will never win because he’s a spot whore. I don’t care that Big Show knocked out HHH because it led to a title defense by Randy Orton and that’s about it. I would love for my boy Dolph Ziggler to win this category. It was a huge moment on Raw with an absolutely raucous crowd to get behind the title change. Unfortunately, he was booted in the skull by Jack Swagger and never got his spot back. Even if he did, I doubt he would have eclipsed Daniel Bryan‘s last six months. Well, really his last year and a half but which is relevant only because the people voting most likely go for the most popular wrestler. That makes the Bearded One an easy winner.

Trending Now – Who Created the Biggest Online Buzz? – #BelieveInTheShield, #FollowTheBuzzards, #BestForBusiness and #WeThePeople – I’m glad Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are getting a nice nod for their work this year but they can’t win this vote being heels. #BestForBusiness won’t win for heel reasons also. HHH & Steph don’t need any more awards either. That leaves us with the same final two for Break Out Star of The Year, The Wyatts & The Shield. In this case, I think The Wyatts will win because they have been using their catch phrase more this year than the Shield, who because of the title reigns have been using their catch phrase less.

Continue reading

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 12

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

There have been 9 episodes of Total Diva’s that I have written about and today’s article reaches the double digits. (Kevin’s Edit: Look at the banner lady. You’ve been in the double digits.) Last night I asked Kevin if we could stop watching Total Divas and 5 minutes into the show I realized why. The show lacks on drama and substance. I think watching two kittens play with a ball of string for 45 minutes would be more entertaining than what I had to sit through last night. The entire episode is now scripted, has boring story lines, and I think I’d rather watch paint dry.

When I first started writing these articles, blogs, whatever you want to call them, I thought the Total Divas show was going to show the life of a WWE Diva and their impact in a man’s field. Where showing your skills and working hard to get TV time would help all of us understand the difficulties in making it in the WWE Diva world. What I’ve witnessed these past 10 episodes is that these ladies live a very boring life, so the WWE has to script every scene and create instability within the Diva relationships just to give us a show to watch every week. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone knew the WWE would pump it up but it all seems so set up to create “drama” that isn’t dramatic.) Jojo has become non-existent on the show, Nattie only talks about hoochie Eva Marie and do I need to hear another comment out of Eva Marie on how hot she is? With this being said, here is my next review on episode 10 of Total Diva’s.

We begin the episode with Eva Marie being scanned. I didn’t understand at first why she was being scanned until I saw the figure of Diva Nattie and then understood. Why in the hell are they making an Eva Marie action figure? Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE thinks they have a heel in the making. Unfortunately, she’s unlikable and untalented. Unless you count hotness as talent.) Nattie seemed particularly taken aback by it as well. While Eva Marie is being scanned she said “Let’s make my boobs bigger so I sell more action figures and boost sales.” Of course the only man in the room piped up and said that was a good idea. Once again, Nattie calls Eva Marie a hoochie, we all know that she is, thanks Nattie for reminding us. This is where I knew the show was going to tank and asked if we could just delete it and I could make up my own story line for the blog, but Kevin informed me, that we should just watch the show. So onward! (Kevin’s Edit: The sarcasm about Nattie already makes my choice correct.)

We next have Ariane. She thinks it’s brilliant to get her tool of a boyfriend, or is it her fiance now? who knows, an appointment with a WWE trainer so they could be WWE wrestlers together. What part of this sounds staged? huh. Vincent agrees and goes to the training ring where he finds out that it’s freakin’ hard to be a wrestler and after 1  training day is exhausted and unable to even finish the routine guy is having him do. All the while Ariane is telling Vincent he’s doing good, but on the back camera says she made a mistake for this, really? Do you think so? So on day 2 Vincent once again is too exhausted to go on. Because even though he’s a big dude, it’s cardio man, it’s hard when you aren’t in that kind of shape, and the trainer tells him, he’s not WWE material. (Kevin’s Edit: I remember running Warrior Dash last year. It was hilarious to see these giant bulked up guys trying to run. They had no cardio despite all of the muscles. Vincent is the same way.) I don’t know if those are tears of joy or tears of sadness, but Vincent breaks down. Luckily, he has a backup plan to be a Hooka entrepreneur and open his own shop. Good for you Vincent and thanks WWE for a nice scripted segment for Ariane and Vincent.

Continue reading

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 11

jealousyI was informed last night that Total Diva’s has signed on for another season with E!. Does E! have any idea what they are currently airing on their station? Though, with the Kardashians having 3 different shows on the channel at any given time, maybe they don’t care what they are actually airing. As this is the time of year for giving thanks, I’d like to thank the WWE for giving us another episode of staged conversations, whips, vibrators, sex therapy and how many times Trinity and Jon have sex before Jon Uso turns into a bear. All I can think right now is, how can I possibly still be watching this disaster for 45 minutes a week.

We begin this week once again Eva Marie. She sees TJ in the ring and asks him if he will help show her some moves as she ‘idolizes’ Nattie and wants to be a great wrestler like her. Nattie sees them wrestling and gets jealous. I love how she has so much distaste for Eva Marie, she takes every chance she gets to comment about her skanky appearance. When Nattie finds out that TJ will be helping Eva Marie the next day in the practice ring, she get’s even more heated when she sees TJ’s head in Eva Marie’s breasts. Nattie says she’s not wearing a bra and says she see’s the way Eva Marie is looking at him, she goes to get Fandango to practice her moves. Nattie removes her little sports jacket and reveals just a sports top showing bare belly while Fandango takes his shirt off. After lots of quibbling back and forth and Fandango asking ‘what is going on!’, TJ leaves, Eva Marie says Nattie is Coo Coo and Nattie huffs out still jealous of Eva Marie and TJ since Nattie is the only one TJ has ever trained with (woman wise) and I guess is worried about her marriage? I don’t see how as he isn’t that attractive and she’s butch like a man, but whatever. By the end of the episode TJ tells her that she’s prettier than Eva Marie. (Kevin’s Edit: This segment was so staged. My favorite part was Norman Smiley as one of the trainers. I’m pretty sure I had read that he was there before but I had forgotten. It made the episode for me. Any woman that doesn’t look like a man would be an upgrade for TJ but Eva Marie wouldn’t stoop that low. I’m thinking she’s going for top of the roster material.)

Nikki has some decisions to make about moving in with John Cena. After John gave her the agreement for her to sign to live with him, she drove off (in our cliffhanger). We begin this episode where she pulls off to the side of the road and calls Brie. Brie was not helpful in this staged phone call and says what kind of relationship is this if John has her sign a ‘roommate’ agreement. Bryan has never asked Brie to sign one because they have an understanding and open relationship (well, I don’t think Bryan has a massive house and expensive cars as he drives around in a Prius). Nikki checks into a hotel until she can figure things out. After a few days and talking to her mom on the phone, she calls John and leaves a message. I don’t know why it took John so long to call her back (another WWE insert staged phone call here) and they have agreed to meet for dinner. Nikki tells John he’s selfish and he should have told her before she moved in that he wanted her to sign this agreement. Honestly, I can’t remember if she signed it or not, but she kept saying if she didn’t sign it, where would their relationship be? (KE: I think she packed in more sarcasm in that paragraph than I could have.)

We see a very selfish side of Brie this week as Bryan is doing massive amounts of publicity for being WWE champion and Brie doesn’t like it, and neither does Josie, their dog. I do see how Brie could be upset as when they order lunch (salads) he walks away to do a phone interview. I’m sure it could have waited, but I’m also sure the WWE wanted to create a little friction between the two since they are just so darn cute! After Brie has a conversation with Nikki, she apologizes to Bryan and they go back to being the cute couple. (KE: French bulldogs are hilarious.)

Jojo is no where to be seen. Though I was terribly surprised when she wrestled in Raw on Monday night and looked better than Eva Marie. (KE: You should not be surprised that Jojo was the better wrestler. Eva is good for nothing aside from looking hot and skanky.)

Trinity and John, not really in it this week. Trinity’s only conversation this week that I can remember was with Ariane when she says no wonder she’s grumpy all the time. There is no sex between Ariane and Vincent, yet Trinity tells Ariane that Jon’s gotta have it every two days or he becomes a bear! (KE: Good to know I have something in common with Jon Uso.)

Which leads me to Ariane. We find out in this episode that she does not have endometriosis. Which is a very painful issue women can have. She makes her way to the gynecologist who does a routine exam, where I have to laugh when she says she didn’t know she was having a full exam so didn’t shave. Can’t believe the camera caught that and who wouldn’t think they’d have a full exam if they are in so much pain. Good Gravy.  So the gynecologist does the exam and says everything seems well and then does an ultrasound where everything is ok, no issues, so the why is sex so painful and cramps so painful? (KE: I was laughing that I seemed to be told more about a gynecologist from my girlfriends, ex-wife and the current lady than Ariane knew.) Well, cramps can be painful due to the lifestyle she has as a Diva. Stress, exercise, diet, all cause bad cramps, so that’s a no brainer, sex, well that leads us to the sex therapist that Ariane and Vincent go to. He does not look pleased. Apparently, Ariana doesn’t like to think outside the box and has decided that she can do without sex. Seriously? So, the sex therapist tells her she needs to start experimenting, role playing, toys, vibrators, videos, etc. Vincent looks very happy at this suggestion. The next time we see Vincent he’s coming home with bags and said he went shopping. Well, yes, he did, to the Adult store. After he pulls out two bottles of wine, he pulls out whips, vibrators, books, gels and he looks very happy, I’m pretty sure he pulled at this huge vibrator and said ‘say hello to my little friend’ which was hilarious. So we end this episode with Ariane and Vincent yelling ‘yes yes yes’…which again is another WWE scripted scene. (KE: Vincent is still a gigantic tool but he’s big dumb ass has grown on me the last couple of weeks.)

What can I say to sum up this episode? Not much because looking ahead at the preview for next week, it doesn’t look any more enticing that this past episode. So as Thanksgiving moves closer, and I give thanks that this episode is over, I’m also thankful for Nattie’s pokes at Eva Marie, the hilariousness of Ariane at the gynecologist, and Bryan saying he is going to give Josie, the dog, a romantic butt scratch, but I’m not thankful for Nikki’s annoying baby voice and her childish bimboish mind. Happy Thanksgiving. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 9

be_stronger_than_your_excusesThey’re stronger, they’re more outrageous and if it’s possible, more glamorous. This time, it’s no hold barred! Life is about to seriously change. Only on E! This was the commercial that was constantly being played on Spotify last week so everyone would be so intrigued they would tune in and watch the next season of Total Diva’s. After crying hysterically and then being bored out of my gourd, I thought leave it to the WWE to make the first half of the show interesting to pull viewers in, put them to sleep in the middle and try to wake them up in the end with a not so good cliff hanger. Since I wasted 45 minutes watching this, I’ll waste at least 5 minutes of your time reading this. Ha ha.

We begin the season with a recap, which is always good for me as I completely forgot what has happened in the last 2 months that they have been off. I have to say, the show started off with pretty good one liners as Eva Marie brought up her 4 page spread in Maxim as the girls meet for brunch on a Sunday afternoon. Between Nattie calling Eva a Hoochie, Jojo saying she wants to throw up her breakfast in her mouth due to having to look at these pictures again and Brie gives a non-humble Eva a kicker when she tells Eva that the Bella Twins were in Maxim Espanol which get’s distributed to more countries. Ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: You could tell the Bellas were pissed about not being on thee Maxim cover even if they covered things up with Latin America.)

We get more hilarious outtakes with Trinity in her sparkling shoes and how they hurt her feet terribly and walks out of the hotel like an old bow legged grandma, quite hilarious as she stuck out that booty of hers. (KE: She rewound it to watch a second time. I didn’t argue.)

Ariane goes crazy after the car in front of her continues to go really slow and in turn stops right in the road. Ariane gets out of the car and starts yelling at the person in the car. To me it all seemed a bit staged, but whatever, it just flared her temper which is what her story line was in this episode. Ariane once again goes berserk on Vincent, her boyfriend, at a WWE party. I don’t know how many times she needs to say ‘babe’ but I have to say, someone needs to take that out of her vocabulary! (KE: That’ll happen right when the Steelers take “Obviously” out of Mike Tomlin’s vocabulary.) Trinity ends up talking to Ariane and tells her she needs help with her anger. She goes to talk to talk to her mom where they have a heart to heart. Her mom tells her she shouldn’t do that and that Vincent deserves better. At this point, they’re both perfect for each other as they’re both annoying as ever and who would want to deal with that.

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: