Tyson Tomko is going to rehab

Tyson Tomko has accepted an offer to get himself together before facing a judge after his recent arrest according to The St Augustine Record. After posting bond Tomko has accepted WWE sponsored rehabilitation and will begin his stint for his addictions.

For those with short attention spans Tomko was arrested after allegedly robbing a CVS for Oxycodone. He then went to a Chili’s, asked for a spoon then procured their bathroom for forty minutes to shoot up.  Police were called, he was arrested and now he is off to rehab.

This is the best case scenario for him and it is kind of shocking that the mean and evil WWE would go to such lengths to pay for the rehabilitation of a wrestler who has not been on their payroll for at least a year or longer. Tomko must have turned down Dixie Carter’s TNA Wrestling sponsored rehab but then there is no such thing. It must be due to it being a fledgling family run affair or for some other reason. 

It should also be noted that Matt Hardy is currently on a WWE sponsored rehabilitation even though he had last worked for TNA. Just sayin. -Jeremy

Tyson Tomko Update- He needs some serious help

Before recording Stunt Granny Audio #160 last night Kevin and I discussed this Tyson Tomko story. I was telling him how I didn’t want to go full force with it because of the lack of details. I didn’t want to start off a post with “yeah well I had no idea he killed a bunch of people” or some other fun killing line like that. After reading more of the details about his arrest I’m thinking that was the correct decision. According to TMZ he has some severe problems and his story reads like a work of fiction.

According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, Tomko went to a nearby Chili’s … where he asked his waitress for a spoon. When the server brought him a teaspoon, he asked for a “deeper spoon” … and when he got it, he took it to the men’s room … where he remained for 30 to 40 minutes.

Cops were eventually tipped off … and when they arrived on the scene, one officer says Tomko had “needle marks and blood running down his arm” … and had just flushed something down the toilet.

Tomko was taken into custody — and allegedly told police he has a “severe drug problem.”

Cops say Tomko admitted he took the Oxycodone from CVS … and injected 178 pills, which he crushed up and melted down … but he swore he never threatened the pharmacist.

Tomko was taken to a nearby hospital … then transported to a nearby jail, where he was booked for robbery.  He’s currently behind bars — bond was set at $7,500.

Kevin had mentioned how he actually forgotten what a big thing Tomko was turning in to over in TNA for that short period before they ruined his push. Then he appears on WWE totally out of shape and now has fallen off the map and in to an apparent period of extreme drug use? You know you have a severe drug addiction if you don’t have the common sense to go home and shoot up in private instead of stopping at a Chili’s, which is better than going to a Taco Bell. Chuck E Cheese would be preferable really.

You know that reminds me of my writing class at Kent State. I had an early version of a piece that contained a section with a drug addict stopping to shoot up when he was being chased. I got slammed by some dolt for it not being realistic and really stupid. Well, turns out I was writing about reality while you just tried to dictate it. So go fuck yourself Mark whateveryourlastnameis. -Jeremy

Tyson Tomko Arrested

I want your wallet, your keys and ho-hos.

Have you been wondering what former TNA and WWE wrestler Tyson Tomko has been up to lately?  No, well you would not be alone but for those who have been it appears your boy as been up to no good. Tomko was arrested on a felony robbery charge in St Augustine, FL according to this report from Prowrestling,net. I would have posted the mug shot but it is tiny but you can find it here by scrolling down a bit.

According to felonyguide.com, yes this is a real site, this is the definition they provide.

While the exact definition of felony differs from state to state, robbery generally involves the taking of another person’s property by force, fear, or intimidation, with the intent to permanently deprive that person of the property. Robbery differs from theft in that robbery always involves some use of force, or threat of force. Therefore, robbery is always considered to be a violent crime, as well as a more serious crime than theft. As a result, while theft can result in misdemeanor or theft charges, robbery usually results in a felony charge.

So basically a big scary looking man like Tomko jacked someone for their lunch money. The lunch money came at the expense of him roughing up the victim. But really are there any real victims left in the world? I bet somebody was flaunting their status and Tomko decided he wanted what was theirs and staged a sit in. Then he realized that silent protest never works and he understood to commit real change violence would be necessary. So congrats Tomko! #occupystaugustine -Jeremy  

The Ax Falls For Several

From WWE’s Twitter:

WWE has come to terms on the release of WWE Divas Mickie James and Katie Lea Burchill as well as Superstars Shelton Benjamin, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J and Jimmy Wang Yang as of today, April 22, 2010. We wish them the best in all future endeavors.

And then they also announced that Mike Knox was let go as well. A few comments here if you don’t mind, and I know you don’t.

I would have predicted the Funaki canning, but I managed to convince myself that he was basically a lifer. He was certainly somebody’s proxy piss test for a while (oops). I think it just came to a point where he had accomplished all he could do with the company and it was time to move on. I have nothing but respect for him, and now he can head back to Japan and be none the worse for wear.

As I was saying to Jordan last night, WWE was very smart about the Shelton Benjamin firing. Despite not having anything for him to do for several years, they hung onto him anywhere, so that now when he goes to TNA, it will mean absolutely nothing. From a business standpoint, it’s a great idea to hand the opposition your dirty laundry.

To that end, the most surprising cut would have to be Mike Knox. He wasn’t so much misused as not-at-all used in WWE, so he’s a bit of a clean slate for TNA. And TNA always seems to do pretty well with WWE’s discarded big guys (Tyson Tomko and Matt Morgan as examples). I always disagree with the big guys WWE cuts. I guess they just have a different way of approaching that position.

Slam Master J was absolutely useless. Good riddance. Jimmy Yang has options all over the indies, so he’ll be fine. Better off, actually. Katie Lea just didn’t fit in anywhere, as hot as she may be. Mickie James can go make a country record and then promote it in TNA. I’m sure she’ll be happy to get away from WWE’s backstage politics. I hope TNA uses her as a heel because she’s magnificent in that role. – Dusty

Tomko Officially Released, So There You Have It.


Prowrestling.net is reporting that WWE has finally released Tyson Tomko. Tomko showed up hurt and wrestled a very poor dark match with Paul Burchill. No one is actually sure if this qualifies as a match back since there is no video evidence now. Anyway, he hasn’t worked a match since and there has been no buzz about him. So, the WWE did exactly what they needed and cut him loose. Yes they could have used him in the same dummy role of the silent bodyguard but why bother? WWE needs to cut payroll anyway.

No tears should be shed for him as he will eventually turn up again, hopefully when healthy, and continue growing as a performer. Tomko was a star in the making in TNA. Actually got to see him at Against All Odds or some TNA PPV borefest. He got one of the loudest babyface pops anywhere. So, they turn him heel right then and systematically kill him off. Sure he may be a pain in the ass behind the scenes by looking out for himself but isn’t that what you are supposed to do in wrestling? It’s called politics kids. So there, the long mystery of Tomko is solved. -Jeremy

Well Look Who’s Coming Back

I warrant a better mold then this.

I warrant a better mold than this.

According to The Wrestling Observer Newsletter and found over at Prowrestling.net, Tyson Tomko, late of an aborted Japan run, has signed with the WWE. This is fantastic news if it was the beginning of 2008 and not the end. Tomko was TNA’s rising star back in those days and they subsequently ruined him. He didn’t do himself any favors in the political games but then how is that possible in TNA anyway. Seriously, they have a dog in a skirt on a beach ball as a main event act and he couldn’t keep himself in the spotlight?

Anyway, Tomko is going to make a welcome addition to the Smackdown roster. Well, he should at any rate. Smackdown sucks and has recently gotten better with the return of Edge.  Now if they bring in Christian Cage Smackdown may be worth watching again. Oh yeah, they would have to bump down Triple H to the midcard and bump up MVP but this isn’t about Smackdown, it’s about Tomko. You know, the guy that just got signed. Wait, he isn’t irrelevant already is he? -Jeremy

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