Stunt Granny Conversation: The Tag Titles and The Andre the Giant Battle Royal

You are the first Diva ever in Cannes.

You are the first Diva ever in Cannes.

Since I am going to be at Detroit Red Wings vs Columbus Bluejackets game tonight, we decided to give you a little sneak peek into planning at Stunt Granny HQ.

Kevin:  So, are you with me that we could preview UT/Brock, the Divas and Shield vs The Old Guys?

Jeremy:  Divas and shield vs old guys for sure. They need to do something with Brock next week. If not, this build up is absolutely terrible. I would pause on recording that one.

Kevin:  That’s fine. Just so we can knock some of them out of the way this week.

Jeremy:  Right. The tag match has to change. I can’t imagine it is just that lackluster garbage
Kevin:  Do you mean the 6 man match or what crap sandwich the Usos are left with?
Jeremy:  Usos. Just thrown together.
Kevin:  What is their match? They taking on the Real Americans? With 3 baby faces in the match, a heel and a heel manager?
Jeremy:  Rybaxel. Yup……Rybaxel.  Just to make sure you understand. Rybaxel.
Kevin:  Good gravy. I just don’t understand building up the division then tearing it down a month later.
Jeremy:  It is going to get changed. Rybaxel got bitched right after.
Kevin:  I must not have been paying attention. Who do you think should be in the tag match to spice it up? I’d stick with the Real Americans simply because you’ll be featured more in a match than a 20-30 man schmooze.
Jeremy: Yeah Real Americans are a no brainer really. They have nothing going on. The inevitable breakup storyline seems to be cooled just like The Shield’s.
Kevin:  Are the Usos or Rybaxel in the Battle Royal now?
Jeremy:  No, they pulled out. They need to make the Battle Royal worth something.
Kevin:  You get an Andre the Giant statue. How dare you insinuate that they need something more!
Jeremy:  Sigh, last time they had that was WM 4 and Bret hart smashed the winners trophy.
Kevin:  Everyone gets a trophy in sports today! Wrestling isn’t for children. What happened to the gold old days when a battle royal meant challenging for the IC Title.

Jeremy:  Not a bad idea really.
Kevin:  It has struck me as odd that the Big E Langston, the IC Champ, is one of the center pieces of that match. It’s a perfect 4 way match in the making if Cesaro had split off the Real Americans and maybe Roman Reigns had the Shield parted ways. Granted, I was expecting a three way match out of them before their present story popped up.

Jeremy:  Yes it felt like Shield was going triple threat route fo the US title. The battle royal is just a way to get everyone on the shwo but tis time it sounds more important
Kevin:  Complete brain fart that I didn’t think that match would be for the US Title.
Jeremy:  They focused on his lack of defenses and then Ambrose and Reigns getting in to a pissing match about who was better. It seemed obvious.
Kevin:  “The Architect of the Shield” Seth Rollins kept trying to keep them together. I got a bit of a kick when Mitchell Cool said that the powers to be should schedule more matches for Ambrose.
Jeremy:  Convenient excuses for their forgetful booking which is really what this Battle Royal is.

News You Can Use: C.M. Punk, Sting & WWE Slam City

From misfits.cinderblock.com

From misfits.cinderblock.com

– A couple of stories struck me over the weekend. One being that Dana White was asked if CM Punk would fight in the UFC. It always reminds me that the majority of wrestling fans are dumb as bricks. CM Punk wears a Gracie Jiu Jitsu hoodie and incorporates mixed martial arts moves into his professional wrestling move set so that automatically makes him good enough to fight in the best MMA company in the world. I can’t wait to start playing hockey for the Pittsburgh Penguins because I wear their shirts often and have been known to use moves by Sidney Crosby & Evgeni Malkin on my nephews to score goals in bubble hockey. CM Punk was also in the news because he was on “The Talking Dead“. I guess that would make him an actor so he should immediately be one of the detectives on the next season of True Detectives.

Sting participated in a Q&A in England and was asked if he was going to face Undertaker at Wrestlemania 31. I’m glad that bricks can now speak or else I wouldn’t have content for the site. At least Sting was smart enough to say “I really don’t know. I can say that I would love for that to happen.” because that is as likely to happen as CM Punk capturing a title in the UFC.

WWE has teamed with Mattel to make WWE Slam City, a cartoon that will have 26 two minute episodes. They already have four episodes posted. It’s definitely for children so I’m not sure I can review it properly. I may watch a PG product about fake fighting but I have standards. I’ll have my nephews view it and give me a review for the site. I’m sure they’ll do that for their super cool uncle who happens to play for the Penguins. – Kevin

Thanks to Prowrestling.net for the news stories.

Stunt Granny Audio #251

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

From the Puck Daddy Blog on Yahoo! Sports

Jeremy & Kevin are back for another fun filled edition of the Stunt Granny Audio. They start off by talking about children because Baby Momma Drama still has children’s stuff in Kevin’s condo. Jeremy makes quick mention of the fine establishments that he got his engagement pictures snapped at. They move on to the breaking news that the “stars” of “Big World, Little People” are on a hiatus from their marriage. How many short jokes can they make in a couple of minutes? Jeremy & Kevin finally get around to talking wrestling and they start with the big news of the week, Daniel Bryan. Why did Kevin have a problem with how the Authority reacted to the #OccupyRaw movement. Jeremy wonders if the segment would have been helped out by not having Bryan have to focus his wrath on both Stephanie McMahon and HHH. How would you like to get on Stephanie’s bad side in real life with that scream? Everyone is assuming that HHH will lose to Daniel Bryan. What do the guys speculate would happen if HHH put himself over? How would he celebrate the victory? Who would be taking pictures of the stunned crowd? How would the crowd react for the rest of Wrestlemania, Raw & Smackdown? Kevin changes his tune about the planning for matches at Wrestlemania. What match on Wikipedia is a stretch to be considered a main event match? It won’t be a stretch for you to click on the link below to find out the answers to these questions and more.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #249

The Network from drafthouse.com

The Network from drafthouse.com

Jeremy & Kevin are back again and this time they’re only talking about wrestling. No random side stories to start this show. They start by talking about Hulk Hogan hosting Wrestlemania since that news broke on Friday. Why didn’t they wait to announce it on Monday? How much is Hogan really going to do? Will he get involved in a match like the Rock did? Jeremy & Kevin move on to talking about the WWE Network. How much did Kevin watch? How much free time does everyone have that they can complain about the content that isn’t one there yet? How many devices does Jeremy have that still can’t play the WWE Network? Is he bitching about it to the poor people answering the phones about the problems? Or is he just bitching about the people bitching about the missing content? Is it smart to hold content back? Did the WWE stress their servers intentionally for a tune up to Wrestlemania? Jeremy & Kevin finally got around to yapping about the a mix of Elimination Chamber, Raw and Wrestlemania talk. Was the pay per view worth purchasing? Did the Wyatt Family versus The Shield live up to the hype? Where did the Elimination Chamber rank in the pantheon of Chamber matches? What has Kevin found strange about the build up to Wrestlemania? Do the guys even get around to talking about Brock Lesnar and Undertaker? Find out when you click the link below!

The Art of Wrestling: Halloween Costume Ideas

HalloweenWrestlerGirlsI tried to acquire my Halloween picture from my parents earlier this year that had my younger brother & I dressed as the Bushwhackers. I was unsuccessful after looking through a trunk full of pictures. It will be found and used eventually. For now, you get these lovely ladies above. I did see on Wellyourewrong’s Instagram a fantastic picture of a new group of ladies dressed as the Wyatt Family. Maybe it’ll be in a Google search next year. TNA & the WWE both had Halloween Specials going on. Of course ROH didn’t have this section because their whole promotion is a trick on wrestling fans the world over. Let’s figure out which outfits will get the least amount of treats for your children.

TNA has a formula for their sixteen costumes. With that still massive roster, one would think they’d be able to provide more choices. Aces & Eights have two choices along with Bully Ray having his own separate costume. That makes sense since they’re down to two members and Bully Ray in the group. Jeff Hardy is the only single wrestler with multiple costumes. He’s got 3. Considering that his fans are “The Creatures of the Night” it is fitting. That means that TNA really only has thirteen real costumes. Back to the TNA formula. It’s shirt and two accessories. Some of these don’t help you look anything like the wrestler illustrated.

Like the Mickie James costume which comes with your very own Somebody’s Gonna Pay CD. I’m not that willing to help out Mickie or TNA to unload their over abundance of terrible country music even at a 50% discount. How about including some Mickie James booty shorts? You’re trying to sell us, well, Tits N’ Ass and Halloween has become a slutty holiday for women. TNA could even crop the shirt like Mickie liked to do.

mickie-james TNA Ref

Maybe I don’t want female wrestling fans dressing like this.

Some of the costumes do help you look like the wrestler, like the pair of Aces & Eights costumes. Nothing quite says bad ass like either a beer cozy or that mask like device that Knux used to wear. If that doesn’t say tough guy to you yet, they add in a snazzy ball cap that is sure to impress the boys in your crew. If those aren’t you’re bottle of beer, you could choose to go with the leather wrist band, chain wallet and bandana. If you’re the leader of your crew though, I’m sure the Bully Ray package will make you the top dawg. You know you’ll show your boys real biker style when you get the Bully Ray trucker hat. Your other boys bandana is too frilly to. Show that girl that simple is the style with this bandana with only the Aces & Eights logo. Lest anyone question your credibility, just point down to your shirt and tell them you’re from Hell’s Kitchen, bitch.

My favorite package though has to be from ODB. It’s because I’m sure I could find uses for the ODB flask. The wife beater with the hand prints is something I could be stupid enough to wear during Halloween. I would get use out of the flask that night for sure. After Halloween is over, that beater can just be worn under your gym shirt and no one will be the wiser. The best part of it is that this combo is only $18.99.

If TNA isn’t quite your speed, WWEshop.com has Halloween gear for you too. They also have some useful and not so useful packages. They also have less choices than TNA which is flat weird. They are all for the AJ Lee, CM Punk, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, John Cena, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Sheamus and the Wyatt Family. That’s a pretty weak choice selection.

Of course, I did omit two choices on purpose. But eleven choices is still really weak. Like the ladies on the top of the post, they have two old school costumes, neither of which the ladies are wearing. You could snag a Sergeant Slaughter kit which comes with fake muscles. I’m not sure why since good ole’ Sarge never was much of one to hit the weight room, unless you count his days on G.I. Joe. At least it’s adult sized so that old people can recognize your costume because the WWE’s target audience is going to have no clue. If you want to go old school for your child though, they provide you with a mini-Undertaker costume. The WWE is nice enough to add foam lapels to the black jacket. I can understand getting a foam chest with this costume. The last piece to this costume is the wide brimmed hat. It’s just too bad that the WWE didn’t include the hair extensions or else this costume would be worth kidnapping a little person like Los Matadores did and dressing them up for only $24.99.

GI Joe Sgt SlaughterIf you want to “Follow the Buzzards” though, it’s time to get the ultimate Wyatt Family package. You get a t shirt, straw fedora, a sheep’s mask and a lantern. This is a two person costume package because you can’t wear a fedora and sheep’s mask at the same time. The WWE also provides a separate sale for a red beard if you want to make sure your partner in crime looks like Erick Rowan. Considering all of the corporate tie ins the WWE has, I’m not sure why they went with a cheap lantern. They could have talked to Coleman to sell a special WWE sponsored look for those of you who like to go out and camp. It’s also look more like the one that Bray Wyatt uses coming down to the ring. The WWE could have at least made it green to come closer. They also could have really made this a three person package by including a stained wife beater and handkerchief so that someone could look like Luke Harper.

I could go through all of both TNA & WWE’s choices, but I’m going to make like a ghost and disappear from this article. Happy Halloween! – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

I watched this clip earlier today after Jim Leyland announced his retirement. It is barely proof that Leyland has aged as a manager since he has a little more color in his hair. It would have been nice for the Pittsburgh Pirates to get him for a second round but the Detroit Tigers decided to steal him along with just about the entire roster of the 1990 Pirates as coaches. As I watch the Penguins play the Colorado Avalanche, I’ve found out that the fans of Pittsburgh decided to steal something from the Detroit Red Wings fans. They’ve decided that their team has been so good for so long, that they can come to the arena dressed as seats even though the game is “sold out”. That’s not quite an even swap but it’s the best I got for now. Let’s roll.

Oh goody, we get HHH & Big Steph to start the show. Steph sets the table for the HIAC PPV. Steph wondering how the feed is there is the most believable part of HHH & Big Show shouting at each other. Steph cutting it though at the flip of a switch means it should have been killed earlier. Daniel Bryan shows up instead of Dean Ambrose. The later gets to show up after a commercial break. Not exactly a sizzling start. Ambrose has been downgraded to not getting an entrance. JBL isn’t making any sense, asking his fellow announcers why Big Show isn’t in jail is bad for two reasons: 1 – They barely ever argue with you. Why do you expect them to do it now? 2 – HHH & Stephanie should answer that question. What the hell is that pin combo called that Bryan just did? Holding an arm down with one leg and digging the elbow into his waist. Looked cool but seemed a little too convoluted to me. Dean Ambrose takes control before the break in TV land and my column.

Ambrose is still in control after it. Since JBL revisited the criminal line of thought for Big Show, I have a third point for him. You always say that you’re the best journalist in the WWE. How about you ask around as to why Big Show isn’t in jail? Mitchell Cool seems to be having fun with JBL. Too bad my ears aren’t. OH my lord, JBL just asked if he said something factually in accurate about Armstrong & Bryan working together for the quick count. Cool decided to answer after his own soliloquy. Ugh. Daniel Bryan wins with the Yes Lock. Fancy reversal into the move.

CM Punk comes out to run his mouth. That is as nondescript a promo as I’ve heard from him. It wasn’t bad. HHH and Big Steph are talking to Vickie about running Raw like she hasn’t done that before. Shawn Michaels brings up power suits and does his silly schtick. He brings up Vince McMahon who has got to be behind Big Show, right? I want to spill water on my lap top again after Hornswoggle, Santino Marella & the Great Khali show up dress in Elvis wigs. Gauging out my eyes would work too.

Santino is taking on Heath Slater. They do a kung fu comedy to start the match. It’s definitely time for a #SippyTimeBeer. “This is entertainment!” from Mitchell Cool who deserves to be put thru the paces by Ivory again for that line. Elvis Cobra gets a big hoot from the commentators and no one in the crowd. A Sneak Cobra attack later wins it for Santino. He sings to Lawler after the match. JBL fakes laughs more. I hope he’s paid well to laugh at that garbage.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

calvin-writing

Quotes from Jeremy on Facebook about Wrestlemania – #1. Yeah I totally got away with not contributing at all this year. Fortunately Kevin DiFrango was there for us all. (About my last preview post for Wrestlemania) #2. Kevin DiFrango wrote about WrestleMania 29. I saved $70.00 by not ordering and reading his review. I hope you do the same. (Considering I posted this today, Jeremy know his tenses very well.)

Quotes from Dusty on Facebook about Wrestlemania – Just read the quick results for Mania. The only result that didn’t make me want to jam a needle into my eye was Del Rio beating Swagger. Glad I occupied myself with baseball and old SNL today

Quotes from Eric on Facebook about Wrestlemania

I get the odd feeling we won’t be talking about Wrestlemania this year. I re-watched the first two or three matches last night. I’ll try and watch the rest of the matches at some other point to properly evaluate. When you’re watching during a party and having to explain past histories and build up, you don’t pay attention very well. Toss in trying to blog and you’re nearly useless. I’m home with two conked out dogs. Time to concentrate on Raw. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out and gives a Cena speech. He is the only person that gets this much of a reaction unless you count the part timers. Ryback and CM Punk come close. Mark Henry spoils the victory speech. Cena tries to derail a good promo. Booker T comes out to kill a main event that should headline a PPV. I have no idea where Vickie Guerrero is. Booker turns it into a non-title match. Henry still delivers a good promo.

Daniel Bryan comes down with Kane. Big E Langston comes down with some guy with blonde hair and a woman who might be smaller than my sister. I’m glad this crowd is better than the one last night. Nice choice of the director to not show Langston tossing Bryan onto Kane. Langston wins with the Big Ending. That was quick. Glad to know that Ziggler’s briefcase will continue to not be used as he still pursues the useless tag titles.

Wade Barrett gets his rematch against the Miz who went back to the goofy jacket for some reason. It doesn’t fit his character so I have no idea what he’s thinking. I do like the new wrestling gear though. Of course nothing happened before the commercial. I was grabbing dinner finally so I missed Barrett’s spell of offense. Barrett gets to break the figure four. Barrett whacks the Miz off the post. Bull Hammer for the win. Okay. Can someone tell me what the purpose of Barrett dropping the strap in the first place? Vickie & Brad Maddox are yammering when Sheamus comes in. He gets a match but Vickie doesn’t specify against who. Glad to know she’s as tired of that match as the rest of us are.

Booker T is backstage when Randy Orton approaches. Of course he wants a match against Big Show too. Booker over rules Vickie. Oh crap. It’s going to be worse than I thought with just a plain old rematch. We’re on the brink of anarchy according to Zeb Colter. Damn, I just got my finances straightened out. At least I had a good couple of year run to enjoy it before anarchy.

Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger do the heavy lifting. No surprise there. Also no surprise that they go to commercial with someone laying outside the ring. JBL has been stumping for free speech but doesn’t want it when Jerry Lawler makes a Colter joke. Neither Mitchell Cool nor Lawler called him on it. Del Rio breaks the Patriot Act. Del Rio turns a second attempt into a cross arm breaker. That was slick. Swagger taps out. Del Rio starts selling his ankle injury. Dolph Ziggler comes out. He cashes it in. The crowd is going crazy. The WWE will have it on mute in the main office. Enziguri by Del Rio. Kick out by Ziggler who had to wait until 2. Ziggler gets out of the cross arm breaker with a partial ankle lock. Zig Zag for the World Championship. Awesome. So awesome.

The fun continues. The Shield comes out when the Undertaker comes out. Glad to know he’s taking off more time officially. I’m not surprised. Aww crap, they do love this three man group so much, they’ve made up another three man group to not make them singles wrestlers.

Dolph Ziggler gets to give a victory speech. He said that this is his Wrestlemania moment. It is about damn time. Great cockiness that he needs to keep. 3MB gets to wrestle R Truth, Zack Ryder & Santino Marella. This match is very exciting for all involved. You didn’t get into Wrestlemania, here’s your consolation prize. Cobra beats Heath Slater. Awesome, they showed Fandango’s appearance on Opie & Anthony. Nice showing from little Jimmy Norton. Kaitlyn got to give away tickets instead of having her Wrestlemania moment. Sheamus and Randy Orton are arguing. Sheamus tells Orton that he’s got this. Orton is sitting back too much these days.

Big Show was angry last night. He is obviously angling for a feud with Randy Orton since another feud with Sheamus will bore us to death. Sheamus and Orton talk more. Tweet my choice. #IDontGiveACare. After the commercial break, we get a match between them for a chance at Big Show. I do love the after Wrestlemania crowds. This is down right hilarious. RVD! JBL! Jerry! Michael Cole! Commercial break! ECW! Lawler is thinking the crowd might run out of chants. The announcers finally get to talking about the match too. The wave. Clubbering time. Randy Savage! HBK! White noise and the crowd boos. Missed Brogue Kick. The Big Show comes out. Sheamus into the post. Thank You Big Show! Finished off with a WMD on Orton. Nope, not finished off. Really setting up the feud. Big Show is looking impressive in the process.

Fandango comes out. Kofi Kingston gets to job. How the moderately powerful have fallen. I guess they didn’t want Kofi to job? Chris Jericho interferes. I’m fine with keeping the feud going. The announcers complain about their table being used again. Walls of Jericho that referees try to break it up. Code Breaker as the finale. The crowd loved it. They also love Fandango correcting Justin Roberts.

Paul Heyman is interviewed by Josh Matthews. He sells Brock Lesnar. Heyman moves on to CM Punk. He is going to let Punk do his talking next week on Raw. Interesting. I like the tease. The Bellas & Rhodes Scholars come out for the oops, we put P Diddy on the show instead of you. So what if the crowd crapped on Diddy. Tons of Funk & the Funkadactyls are out second. The crowd is loving Sandow. Double Splash on Sandow for the Tons of Funk win. We didn’t miss anything on Wrestlemania.

Holy crap, that’s a real shirt that John Cena is wearing. You couldn’t see the belt earlier. If anyone over 12 buys that, they deserve to be beaten senseless. Mark Henry is using the power to his advantage. Duh. Count out victory for John Cena. There we go, figured an attack was coming. Ryback comes out. So Cena will get another feud. Feed me more. He looks at Cena. Then offers a hand.  Cena goes to tje ropes. Hilarious. He’s got to be trolling the crowd. Meat Hook clothesline on Cena. Shell shock. Surprised this crowd is getting into Ryback this much. -Kevin

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