Rob Van Dam to vacate TNA World Title… oops, spoiler. Whatever.

rob van dam

Who has two thumbs and deserves better? THIS guy!

According to Prowrestling.net, TNA is about to let a big ol’ fart: Rob Van Dam vacated his TNA World Title at the iMPACT! tapings yesterday, the storyline apparently being he was so badly beaten up by Fortune that he couldn’t continue on as champion. Because, of course, wrestling has no more 30-day rule. Come on, guys, a little believability.

You know, I was just thinking about how often world titles should be vacated. The general blanket answer: Never. WWF did it in 1988 for the first time in its history, then in 1991 before the Royal Rumble of 1992, and then in 1998… at which point Vince Russo started flexing his muscles and vacating titles every other fucking calendar day. (It doesn’t help that other wrestlers try flexing *their* ill-gotten muscles, tear the shit out of them and have to vacate the belt due to injury.) Russo carried this crutch of an “angle” over to WCW, hitting the reset button like a chimp, and then to TNA, where his ADD-addled brain can’t get enough of this type of “buzz.” Hell, even Shane Douglas, who couldn’t wrestle for a lifetime, held onto the ECW World Title until losing it in a match to Taz. How hard was that? I implore a wrestling company… no, I *dare* one to keep a title belt from being vacant for five years. What a novel fucking idea.

And what of TNA’s megastar, Kurt Angle? His objective right now is to work his way through the top 10 to make it to the TNA World Title. Does this Fortune-vs.-EV2 effectively eclipse that story putting Angle on the backburner? Will he even be in the tournament? He should be, since he’s in the top 10. How many of those top 10 guys will be in the brackets? How many will get bumped in favor of the likes of Tommy Dreamer and Sandman? Once a champion is crowned and the Fortune-vs.-EV2 thing continues, is anyone even going to care that Kurt Angle wants a title shot? What if he *is* placed in the tournament, but the No. 3-ranked TNA wrestler drops out? Does Angle take himself out of the tournament since he can’t wrestle all 10 guys like he said he would? Jesus tap-dancing christ, can TNA think of any of this stuff before they book themselves into a complete clusterfuck? -Eric

The Continuing Story of Bungalow Melina

According to WWE.com, Melina has vacated the Divas Title due to injury. It is possible that they will have some kind of battle royal or tournament to crown a new champion on tonight’s show. It is also possible that Melina can now go blow, considering she is out of sight and out of mind. Peace out. – Dusty

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